Aug 10 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Fireplace In A Tool Chest
The 'Mall Fire' by Ataria is a $5,400 tool chest (sans tools) that turns into a romantic ethanol fireplace whenever opened. Well, as romantic as a fireplace in a tool chest can be anyways. Which is very. And also why I just had one mounted in the bed of my truck. What do you say I spread a tarp back there and we make ourselves a little pool? Me, you, a box of wine and a pool with a fireplace. I'm sorry, am I being too romantic? Because I can't help myself. Bathing suits optional. For you. Me? I'm a nevernude.
There's Nothing Dangerous About a Fireplace in a Chest [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who knows a romantic evening when he hears one (nuclear hot wings and a titty bar).
Apr 8 2009 Sexy Pirate Statue Angers Townspeople
Several people in the town of Girardville, Pennsylvania are upset over a busty pirate statue whose magical treasure chest (ZING!) draws scalawags into a local antique store. Amongst the town's most outspoken opponents of the statue is local Roman Catholic Priest, Edward Commolly.
"I believe that it's indecent. I guess it would be categorized as soft porn. If there is a definition of that, I would call it soft porn," said Father Edward Commolly.
Sorry, Father, but the definition of soft porn is the dryhumping you see on Cinemax. This is pure class.
"I think it's art. I don't see nothing wrong with that," said Randy Smith of Girardville.
"I think there is worse on television, to tell you the truth. If they want to do anything they shouldn't worry about a statue, they should start on television," said Heidi Martin.
Good lookin', Randy, totally agree: a statue of a female pirate with her blunderbusst (I could do this all day, folks) hanging out is art in the truest sense of the word. You hear that? Now walk the plank, Picasso! Oh, and valiant effort, Heidi, but they should definitely start on the internet.
Pirate Statue Stirs Controversy [wnep]
Thanks to Nefarious Nick, who totally made a friend take a picture while he was touching her rack. Wow, Nick, you've got problems. Awesome problems! Can I get a copy?
Feb 12 2009 Donkey Kong T-Shirt Turns Man Into Ape
Ever wanted to pretend you were an ape? Well you don't need a novelty t-shirt. You just crouch down real low and drag your knuckles on the ground and grunt a whole bunch. That's what I do, and I, my friends, was a gorilla for Halloween one year. The defense rests. Anyway, for a spine-tingling $28 you can get this (probably unlicensed) Donkey Kong t-shirt. And speaking of Donkey Kong, the snow levels in Donkey Kong Country -- ugh! I threw my controller at the TV not once, not twice, but twenty-thrice. SCREW YOU, STUPID SPINNING LAUNCH BARRELS! And, while I'm at it, suck it Zelda II! Wait, was that....blasphemous? Oh my God, what have I done?
Thanks to Russell, who needs no excuse to hurl barrels at unsuspecting plumbers.
Dec 24 2008 A Little Holiday Something From Me To You
No need to thank me folks, just spreading some holiday, um, nipple-stache. And remember, it's not too late to add "new eyes" to your last minute Christmas list.
The nipple mustache [iosoup]
Thanks to Kevin, who allegedly grew a crotch-stache for his senior prom.
Dec 16 2008 NSFW!: Advertisers Take Note -- Now This Is How You Sell A Damn Washing Machine!
VIDEO IS NSFW
Well, after that last post I need a little pick-me-up. And what picks up the Geekologie Writer? Haha, you all know me too well, NSFW boobs (read: bare ones). This is a European Siemens commercial for a $900 washing machine that features a bunch of bare-breasted women skydiving from a plane. Because, just like Jesus dictated to his secretary in Psalm 49: Large boobs sell large appliances. Amen to that. I just ordered sixty of them, and I don't even wear clothes! I'm a blogger, folks, and the official uniform of the blogger is a single pair of stained boxers. And I'm not even wearing those right now! Now guess what I'm going to use to type the period at the end of this sentence. If you guessed my right ring finger, you are correct. Pfft, I know how to type!
WOW, NSFW Commercial [phillyd]
Thanks to pirhan, who delivers the goods when I need them most.
Dec 12 2008 No More Going Bare Chest: Geeky T-Shirts
This is a gallery of geeky t-shirt designs from some guy named Glenn Jones. Hit the jump for a bunch more of my favorites and a link to his store which has even more. They're all $20 a pop and the perfect thing to keep you from showing your tits this holiday season. Unless you're a chick and into that. In which case I call a motorboat.
Hit it for the rest.
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