Jul 17 2009 Good Enough To Eat: Cheetos Lip Balm
Cheetos lip balm, it just makes sense. And by sense I mean your lips orange. Now swish some Dew around in your mouth and gimme kissies!
Would You Wear Cheetos Lip Balm? [lemondrop]
Thanks to The webcam in your monocle, who records whatever you see. Including in the shower. Provided you wear your monocle in the shower, which, pfft, who doesn't?
Apr 27 2009 Real Sugar: Mountain Dew 'Throwback'
Just for the summer (unless they're hugely popular) Pepsi is producing Mountain Dew and Pepsi 'Throwback', which both contain natural sugar instead of that high fructose maize (I'm part Cherokee) syrup bullshit.
The first thing I noticed was how smooth the carbonated soda went down. It's not nearly as harsh as the standard type and I'm sure peeps who aren't avid Mountain Dew drinkers will appreciate the difference.
Also, the aftertaste. It's more natural and clean. Hell, even my burps taste different. I LOVE IT.
Different tasting burps, now that's a selling point. It's like how Maker's Mark makes my vomit taste different. Mmmm. Unfortunately, Dew Throwback contains thrice the Yellow #5 as regular Mountain Dew, so you 'Throwback' fanatics can kiss your penises goodbye.
Review: Mountain Dew Throwback [crunchgear]
Thanks to Octopus Pie, who hates high fructose corn syrup almost as much as low fructose corn syrup.
Jan 30 2009 Guy Builds Six Cheese Fountain From Talladega Nights For His Wedding Reception
I only made it ten minutes deep into Talladega Nights so I have no idea when or where the mention of a six-cheese nacho cheese fountain is, but that's not really important anyway. What's important is that some guy named Seth was determined to make one for his wedding, and did. And I think I speak for all of us when I say, my God that's classy.
Hit the jump for several more pictures and video of the cheese-whiz in action.
Continue Reading " Guy Builds Six Cheese Fountain From Talladega Nights For His Wedding Reception "
Oct 3 2008 Gamer Grub: Because WoW Can't Wait
Gamer Grubs are meal replacement snacks specially designed with the sedentary gamer in mind.
In flavors like Action Pizza, Racing Wasabi, Strategy Chocolate and Sports PB&J, the snacks are not only fortified with vitamins and minerals, but are specially engineered to be crumb and grease free, protecting your keyboard from its normal all-it-can-eat junk food buffet.
Mmmm, they sound yummy, don't they? No, no they freaking don't. Call me old fashioned, but what the hell's the matter with the classic Mountain Dew/Cheetos combination? Nothing, that's what. Seriously, who cares if your penis turns orange?
Sep 25 2008 Wicked 20-Sided Die Tattoo (Plus Bonus!)
Check it out -- if I jiggle my arm it looks like the die is rolling!
Hit the jump for a blue arm of death tattoo.
Continue Reading " Wicked 20-Sided Die Tattoo (Plus Bonus!) "
Jul 30 2008 Cheeto Jesus, Dubbed "Cheesus", Found In 99¢ Snack Bag, Contains No Trans-Fat
Not to be outdone by last week's Allah meat gristle, Jesus decided to show himself to a Montana woman in a 99¢ bag of Cheetos.
Most of her family and friends believe it looks like a mini orange sculpture of Jesus on the cross. Ramey and her husband call it "Cheesus." Ramey doesn't plan to sell the Cheeto because it's bringing a lot of joy into her home. She will keep it in a safe deposit box or put it on display so more people can enjoy it.
This is clearly a sign. A sign that, if I'm reading it correctly, indicates Cheetos are, as I've long suspected, The Chosen Snack. Every orange crumb in your keyboard is sacred, and also, delicious. One more sign like this and I'm seriously converting.
UPDATE: I found a Virgin Mary ice cube in a frozen Mountain Dew. It's been fun folks, but I'm going to priest school.
Hit the jump for a video of the holy snack.
Continue Reading " Cheeto Jesus, Dubbed "Cheesus", Found In 99¢ Snack Bag, Contains No Trans-Fat "
