Oct 22 2009 For Your Internal Operating System: Japanese Burger Kings Selling Windows 7 Whoppers
Because there's no better way to market a new operating system, Burger Kings in Japan are selling limited edition Windows 7 Whoppers to coincide with the release of the operating system today. What is a Windows 7 Whopper? Try seven mostly-beef patties stacked high on a sesame seed bun with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, ketchup and mayonnaise. What, no cheese? But I want to die! 30 customers a day will be able to buy the whopping Whopper for ¥777 ($8.55), but after that it'll set you back a staggering ¥1,450 ($17.10). Which, I'm sorry, but no way. $17 for a burger? THOSE BETTER BE SNOW LEOPARD PATTIES. See what I did there? God I'm L337.
Burger King selling a Windows 7 Whopper in Japan [engadget]
Thanks to nichire, Jamez, and Billy Avenue, who could each eat two of these and still down a chocolate milkshake and some onion rings.
Oct 18 2009 I Would Eat That: The Cheese Burgkin
In the Halloween spirit, this is a picture of a pumpkin that's been turned into a cheeseburger. Impressive, but I would have made all the fixin's out of candy. What can I say, I have vision. 20/200! Now, somebody lead me to the bathroom.
The Burger Pumpkin [extremepumpkins]
Thanks to Jacyln, who once turned a pumpkin into a carriage and rode to the ball in style. On pecan pie dubs.
Sep 17 2009 I Could Eat It: World's Biggest Hamburger
What could be better after an article about a hideous dead monster than a food-related post? Happy lunching west coasters! Do they sell good falafel out there? I'd appreciate some if they do. Also, ripe avocado.
It's the world's biggest burger/heart-attacker and it comes courtesy of Steve Mallie of Southgate, Michigan. Guinness Book of World Records officially declared it the biggest after the burger weighed in at 185lbs.
Steve, who owns Mallie Sports Grill, said it took them 15 hours total to bake the burger, but it was worth it. Being in Guinness was always one of Steve's dreams. Steve said, ''I've worked my entire life to build this restaurant and being able to have the notoriety of Guinness makes it just that bit more rewarding.''Steve plans to sell the burger at his restaurant for $499.
Who the hell's gonna buy a 200lb, week old hamburger (which, technically, appears to be a cheeseburger) for $500? You know, besides yo momma. BU-BU-BU-BURN! She's so fat she jumped and got stuck. OOOOOOOH, no I di-in't! I just did though is the thing.
KFed Just Came [dlisted]
Jul 13 2009 You Will Be Mine, Oh Yes, You Will Be Mine: Cheeseburger Bed For Sale On eBay
Relax my little lambs, I'm alive. I apologize for not being able to post this past weekend but I've been traveling and am staying at a place with no internet (heathens!). Currently, I'm bringing Geekologie to you from an undisclosed public library near Miami, Florida (COME FIND ME, I DARE YOU!). So yeah, I didn't die and I'm sorry, okay? I swear I'll make it up to you. Nudie pics? You got em. And whatever you female readers would like as well.
So, remember the hamburger bed story Geekologie broke earlier this year? WELL IT'S FOR SALE ON EBAY AND I AM GONNA BE SLEEPING BETWEEN THOSE BUNS IN NO TIME! Now, which one of you lovely ladies wants to slide under that 8-foot sesame seedy goodness with yours truly? I'm quicker than fast food all Kobe beef, just sayin'.
Thanks to Kayla, who actually made the bed. What do you say, Kayla, one last romp in the burger? And to Aaron, who can watch but not touch.
Jun 25 2009 BK Ad: The King Used To Be Respectable
In what might be the smartest piece of advertising in recent history (whee, I just posted your whole freaking ad for free!), Burger King has released a print ad for their new Super Sloppy Seven Incher chock full of sexual innuendo. I don't see it, but allegedly it's there.
BK Goes Crude With 7-Inch Burger Ad [newser]
Thanks to solid and Pat, whose minds can't be blown away because they're in a lockbox.
May 11 2009 World's Smallest Cheeseburger Combo Meal
This is the world's smallest (and cutest) combo meal. It consists of a little cheeseburger with all the fixins, a very small fry, and a miniscule soda. It's all real too. Hit the jump to see just how small it is (burger is about 1" round), along with a link to more pictures of its making. No word on what kind of children's toy was included, but, if I had to guess, a choking hazard. Get it? Because it's so small. AAAAH, I DON'T GET IT EITHER!
Hit it lest you end up looking like Governer L. Phatt from LeChuck's Revenge. Monkey Island reference? MONKEY ISLAND REFERENCE! Who loves you?
Continue Reading " World's Smallest Cheeseburger Combo Meal "
Apr 21 2009 I Want To Eat You: Cupcake Hamburgers
Somebody went and made a batch of cupcakes that look like hamburgers. I think their maker did a great job, don't you? Because you'll be meeting yours if you disagree. Yeah, that was a threat. No, not a treat, a threat. I'll kill you, yo. I mean it.
These are vanilla cupcakes with a chocolate cuppie in between, green coconut for the lettuce and frosting for the mustard and ketchup. Yum!
Mmmm, cupcake sliders. Everyone here does know what a slider is right? It's a mini-burger. Yeah, they're called sliders because they're small enough to slide down your gullet without much chewing. Not unlike myself. Which....did you just hear that? It sounded like ten thousand women and a handful of gay men fainting simultaneously.
Hamburger Cupcakes [plime]
Thanks to Juste, who once ate 37 White Castle sliders and then projectile vomited for four minutes straight. Gross.
Apr 15 2009 Hamburger Cake Suitable For All Meals
Well, we ended yesterday with the BA-K-47, and now we're kicking Wednesday off right with a hamburger (technically a cheeseburger) cake. In case you couldn't tell, or your mommy is reading this to you while you eat your oatmeal, a hamburger cake is a cake made to look like a hamburger. And the great thing about it is, it's not just a bunch of fondant -- it's mostly good old fashioned icing! Skill level here appears to be about a 2 out of 10, so, with a shit-ton of practice, even you could make one! Now, back in the kitchen -- I'm ready for my eggs.
Flickr Gallery
via
Hamburger Cake [tellmesomethingidontknow]
Thanks to Matt, who once ate an entire hamburger cake and still saved room for a whole bag of Cadbury mini-eggs. I like your style Matt, freaking love those things. Also, to Hans, whose mother actually made the cake.
Mar 20 2009
He's So Cute!: Ninja Cat Part Two Three
Remember ninja cat? How could you forget, that furry little bastard was cute, cute, cute! And how about ninja cat two? That one was a scrumptious little muffin-top too! And now, ninja cat 3! Oh, and I love the sound the guy makes in the end. Sounds like....victory.
Ninja Kitteh Part 2! [icanhascheezburger]
Thanks to Amanda and Jared, who once battled ninja cats for 14 hours straight before admitting defeat.
Mar 1 2009 Bacon And Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger
The Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger consists of the following: two sausage and pepperoni pizzas (serving as the bun), a 5-pound hamburger patty, two pounds of bacon, and two pounds cheese (plus an onion and two bulbs of garlic). And I think we can all agree: it could use a can of pork brains. Seriously though, I was thinking of making a pizza tonight anyways....
UPDATE: Made chicken tacos instead. Muy bueno!
Hit the jump for a picture tutorial of how to make your own.
Feb 4 2009 Lightning Hits Cow, Cow Lives To Moo About It
The cow featured here, who we will refer to as "Well Done", was struck by lightning and lived to chew grass and moo about it, which is apparently rare.
When lightning hits the ground, current flows through the earth in a wide area around the point of impact. This is how a lightning strike can kill a field full of cows - the long wheelbase of the average cow means that a nearby strike induces a significant potential difference across the ground spanned by the cow's front and back legs; current flows through cow, cow dies.
For those of you who aren't science-minded, let me break that down in layman's terms: basically lightning strikes a cow, and makes it delicious. I smell barbecue! Or a cow on fire, same difference.
The path lightning takes through a cow [tywkiwdbi]
Thanks to towhee monster, who attracts lightning like she does men -- with witchcraft.
Jan 31 2009 Good Enough To Eat: A Hamburger Dress
Oh goodness, now that's a 1/4 pounder I could really sink my teeth into. Seriously -- I'm a vampire. I vant to suck your bun.
Hit the jump for side and rear views -- yow yow!
Jan 30 2009 Guy Builds Six Cheese Fountain From Talladega Nights For His Wedding Reception
I only made it ten minutes deep into Talladega Nights so I have no idea when or where the mention of a six-cheese nacho cheese fountain is, but that's not really important anyway. What's important is that some guy named Seth was determined to make one for his wedding, and did. And I think I speak for all of us when I say, my God that's classy.
Hit the jump for several more pictures and video of the cheese-whiz in action.
Continue Reading " Guy Builds Six Cheese Fountain From Talladega Nights For His Wedding Reception "
Jan 21 2009 My Turn, My Turn!: Cat Rides Subwoofer
We already discovered cats have a penchant for Roombas, but who knew the little fish-loving shit machines love riding subwoofers as well? Not me. But, as is evident from the video, its like an amusement park ride for the little furballs. Toss some catnip into the mix and it'll be just like that time I got high and puked in Space Mountain. Fun!
Cat Gets Good Vibrations From Subwoofer [gizmodo]
Jan 14 2009 Mmmm, Delicious Sleep: The Hamburger Bed
The Hamburger bed (which is actually a cheeseburger) is a round bed that looks like a hamburger and has a Facebook fan page. I was going to become a fan, but decided I'd probably end up stalking that delicious bitch and that would bad. So, instead, I'm going to make my own taco bed.
UPDATE: So I had this weird dream about being a giant last night and, f***, I think I ate my pillows.
Hit the jump for a few more shots and a link to the burger's Facebook page. And, while you're at it, friend me, ladies.
Continue Reading " Mmmm, Delicious Sleep: The Hamburger Bed "
Jan 9 2009 The Burger King Whopper Sacrifice: Delete 10 Of Your Facebook Friends For A Free Whopper
Burger King has developed a Facebook application called Whopper Sacrifice that rewards users for deleting friends. You just delete 10 friends from Facebook, and TA-DA -- a coupon for a free Whopper. Unfortunately, the deal only works once per Facebook account and makes you look like a heartless dickbag with a turd for a heart that sucks at life because you'd trade your friendship for a piece of meat in your mouth. Can you tell I've already lost most of my friends? I'm bitter.
Thanks Kenny, de-friend me and I'll kill you.
Dec 12 2008 Mmmm, The Dessert Of Gods: Meat Cake
If Jesus wasn't too busy telling that fat f***er Santa to shit down my chimney, maybe I'd bake him a meat-cake for his birthday.
Hit the jump to see a pictorial on how to create your own meat cake, which basically involves making three giant hamburgers, gluing them together with ketchup, and frosting the bitch with mashed potatoes. Bon appetite!
Dec 7 2008 Man, AKA The Cheeseburglar, Assaults Girlfriend With Cheesy Deliciousness
Vincent Gonzalez assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger. He's currently in the slammer with charges of battery, domestic violence and destruction of deliciousness.
The victim told sheriff's deputies that she was eating with boyfriend Vincent Gonzales in her car when the two began arguing. When she threw his drink out of the car window, he retaliated by hitting her in the face with a cheeseburger. He then pulled her from the car and struck her with the sandwich several more times.
Vincent, you stupid f***. Hands (and burgers) off women. I swear, I have a good mind to beat you within inches of your life with a footlong meatball sub. Eat fresh, bitch!
Man behind bars after hitting woman in face with cheeseburger [kare11]
Thanks to ...In America!, who once hit ....in Canada! with a chili dog.
Nov 24 2008 Couple Sues McDonald's After Leaving Cell Phone At Store And Their Private Pictures Show Up Online (Suprise, Surprise!)
Arkansas native Phillip Sherman and his wife Tina are suing McDonald's because Phillip left his cell phone at a restaurant and the nudey pictures of his wife that were on it headed straight for the internet (they always do).
The suit was filed Friday and seeks a jury trial and $3 million in damages for suffering, embarrassment and the cost of having to move to a new home (due to alleged stalkers).
The suit says that Phillip Sherman left the phone the Fayetteville store in July and that employees promised to secure it until he returned.
Now I hate to call the Shermans liars and cheats, but they most certainly are. Can somebody say chili finger? Or, in this case, cheeseburger ass?
Nude pics in phone lost at McDonald's get online [associatedpress]
Thanks to Lobster, who, despite his inherent deliciousness, couldn't find the pics online.
Oct 28 2008 Well Hello: Olivia Munn's Costume Party
Attack of the Show's Olivia Munn recently appeared in a Halloween spread for Complex Magazine's October issue. As you can see, she's looking pretty good. I mean I'm not dying to write home about her, but I might fire off a quick email. F*** it, I'm texting.
Hit the jump for a larger shot of each costume and a behind the scenes video.
Continue Reading " Well Hello: Olivia Munn's Costume Party "
