Nov 19 2009 FroliCat BOLT: A Laser Lightshow For Cats
Yay, two laser posts in a row! The $17 FroliCat BOLT is an award winning laser lightshow for cats with owners who are too lazy to wave a laser pointer around or have lost the use of their limbs.
Simply turn it on and projects a red dot and moves it in random patterns for 15 minutes, or until your cat (or dog, or baby) realizes what's going on and attacks the gadget itself.
You know why cats love lasers so much? Because they're from the future. Plus it has something to do with their nightvision. No, really, I'm not just making this up. I took a correspondence college course in beertasting science. I wore a lab coat and everything.
Video of the POS in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " FroliCat BOLT: A Laser Lightshow For Cats "
Oct 14 2009 Bottle Tops: Because Cans Can Be Tricky
Bottle Tops are plastic lids that snap onto aluminum cans. You know, because you're too special needs to drink out of a can without spilling. Jesus, ask your mom for a sippy-cup already. However, if you absolutely must, a 12-pack of different colors will set you back $10. But be warned!
But seriously the tops of canned drinks can be really dirty; one commenter on Boing Boing Gadgets agrees with me and gives the thumbs down to the Bottle Tops as well. But the others say that it's perfect for beer for a couple of reasons - one, because it keeps the carbon dioxide from escaping, so you don't have to worry about not being able to empty huge cans of booze, and two, because if you cover the can itself the bottle top makes it look like you're drinking an energy drink.
No. But you know what IS perfect for beer? My mouth. Which, MEDICAL FACT: is also perfect for burritos!
Hit the jump for the terrible tv commercial.
Continue Reading " Bottle Tops: Because Cans Can Be Tricky "
Oct 13 2009 Pack Me Up, Scottie: An Enterprise Bong
This is a cheap plastic bong made to resemble the USS Enterprise. Personally, I wouldn't be caught dead smoking out of it BECAUSE OD'ING ON WEED IS PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. Trust me, I've tried scientists told me.
*Geekologie does not endorse the use of illegal substances, as they may make you retarded. Ha, good point -- even MORE retarded.
To Boldly Toke Where No-One Has Toked Before [io9]
Thanks to Wilson, who claims he's hit the USS Enterpuffs before and said it was out of this world. Like the moon!
Sep 20 2009 Reusable Pokémon Woman Pad Thingies
I don't even know what to say except WTF, HORF and I would totally tape that to my head like a do-rag. Available for $8 on Etsy, this reusable menstrual pad (I can't believe I'm typing this) is perfect for the Pokémon-loving, environmentally friendly chick with unshaven pits in your life. Not bleach safe or for human consumption. Really?! THEN WHY DID I JUST EAT ONE? Wait, why did I just eat one? My stomach: pump it. The contents: gotta catch 'em all!
Pokémon Menstrual Pad, Yours for Eight Bucks [kotaku]
Thanks to Aisha, I think.
Sep 15 2009 Tough Times: The iPhone Recession Case
Tough economic times call for even tougher men patrolling the streets with leather chaps and cute hats. And I am one of those men. Also, you don't want to spend too much money during a recession because then you won't have enough for drinking. And drinking, as I'm sure many of you know, is one of the very few things that make life worth living (in addition to the internet and the love of a good woman). Enter the Case-Mate iPhone 3G/3GS Recession Case. Priced at a paltry $1 (or 10 for $8), the cardboard case is the perfect protection for an iPhone toting cheapskate. Plus, they're great for starting fires. In the bedroom. I'm talking about that freaky deaky shit! Oh yeah, baby, that's the stuff -- now hit me with the extinguisher!
Thanks to Chuey The Rock n Roll Midget, who doesn't have to pay for airfare because he ships himself in a flat-rate box from the United States Postal Service (pay me bitches).
Aug 31 2009 Cheap!: Guy Selling Jetpack Thingy For $500
Some guy is Canada is selling a homemade jetpack via online classified ad for the low, low price of $500. Sure it'll kill you, but it's only $500!
Jet Pack -- Jumps You 10' in the Air
Handcrafted by myself Using Car and Airplane parts. I spent 15 years as a mechanic. Can Use for 2 High Jumps 10 feet in the air with a safe landing before overheating, takes about an hour to cool down after that.weighs 53lbs, approx Camping backback in size , dull grey in color.
serious buyers only can test out on my property and of course watch me first for safety reasons and training.
Two ten-foot jumps and then you have to let the thing sit for an hour? No offense, but that sounds like some incredibly weak shit. Just sayin', you know what else costs $500, will jump you 10-feet in the air, and NOT require an hour between uses? Twelve pogo sticks.
Thanks to Pepe La PEWPEW, who is in love with a LED flashlight. Hate to break it to you Pepe, but she ain't a laser.
Aug 29 2009 Bokeh Filter Turns Light Blurs Into Shapes
The Bokeh filter is a $10 physical filter for your camera that turns out of focus light blurs in the background into shapes like hearts and stars and spirals (separate filter required for each). It works by magic. But not black magic, because you don't want to eff with that shit unless you absolutely have to.
One of the fastest growing fads in modern photography is bokeh shapes. Bokeh shapes are shapes of light in the blurred background of photos. These shapes are achieved by using a bokeh filter over the camera lens. Bokeh is a photography term derived from the Japanese word for blurred. Bokeh refers to the unfocused background in a photo.
The Bokeh Filter is a simple filter that clips onto the end of your lens. This filter blocks out pieces of light that cause the bokeh (blur) in your images to take the shape of the filter.
Neato. Now if they could just create a camera filter that makes my face look like Brad Pitt's, maybe I wouldn't be losing so many Facebook friends. I'M A MONSTER! Truck, monster truck. VROOM VROOM, I AM CRUSHING YOUR CAR!
Hit the jump for a video of the filter in action, directly from a camera.
Continue Reading " Bokeh Filter Turns Light Blurs Into Shapes "
Aug 26 2009 Do Want: Dinosaur Shaped Sandwich Cutter
SILF? SILF!
Thanks to boo, who actually took the picture but didn't bother buying me the cutter. Damnit, boo.
Aug 25 2009 For Your Car: Web Programming Stickers
Want to let commuters know what you're favorite web programming language is? Well now you can thanks to this 5-pack of CODE Stickers by John Freeborn. $5 takes home all five and I think they're worlds better than the stupid Outer Banks (OBX) stickers I see around here. So you like the beach, WHO DOESN'T? I mean, besides redheads and vampires.
web coder bumper stickers: honk if you love to write code! [technabob]
Aug 24 2009 Questionable: A Shocking Beer Bottle Opener
This is a cheap $3.50 bottle opener that shocks any idiot moron foolish enough to ignore the giant 'Shock Can Opener' graphic on the front. Plus, hopefully their hand will be wet so they really get it. Me? I wouldn't care. You could hook a car battery to my nips every time I opened a beer and I'd still drink a whole case CAUSE I AM A THIRSTY DUDE.
Product Site
via
electric shock bottle opener gives you a buzz before your booze does [technabob]
Aug 7 2009 Chinese Farmer Builds Wooden Roflcopter
Some guy in China went and made his own helicopter entirely out of wood. Except for the engine. Because wooden engines are stupid. Admit it, maple motor, you are dumb!
20 year old Chinese farmer Wu Zhongyuan built himself a helicopter using only -- according to the man -- what he remembers of middle school physics lessons and "relevant knowledge [found while] surfing the Internet via my mobile phone."
His single-seater conveyance has blades made from the wood of an Elm tree, a frame reinforced with steel pipes and uses an engine from a motorcycle -- all for around $1,600. Wu claims the 'copter can get him as high as 2,600 feet, though it seems he's grounded for the time being as the Chinese government has forbid him to fly because of safety reasons.
First of all -- 2,600 ft? Sure you're not exaggerating a little, Wu? By say, oh I dunno, 2,599 and 3/4 feet? Also, that is just like a government to prevent a man from having any fun. Know what I'm sayin'? Legalize it!
Chinese MacGyver builds working helicopter out of wood [dvice]
Jul 29 2009 Why?: Jellyfish Toys Go In Your Water Bottle
Bandai is selling these $6 jellyfish toys that you put in your water bottle to keep you company when you're doing whatever sad, lonely thing you do that's led you to buy a $6 piece of plastic to keep you company. But hey, I'm not judging (I just ordered thirty). They come in jellyfish, squid and octopus varieties and present a choking hazard to all people under 150. GOTTA CHOKE ON 'EM ALL!
Several more shots after the jump.
Continue Reading " Why?: Jellyfish Toys Go In Your Water Bottle "
Jul 21 2009 Luke, Help Me Find My Keys: The Lightsaber Flashlight
This $25 flashlight is a replica of Darth Vader's lightsaber and sports 4 red LEDs. It's powered by the dark side 3 AAA batteries and is perfect for walking the dog or finding your eyeglasses in a flower bed. It is not perfect for fighting the forces of good. Because the forces of good carry tasers and won't hesitate to use them. TASERED!
Lightsaber flashlight cuts through the darkness [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, who once brained the forces of evil with a Maglite.
Jun 22 2009 Today's Woot Shirt: How Bacon Bits Are Made
This Bacon Bits t-shirt combines aspects of both Space Invaders and delicious pig particulate. I want to eat it.
Once in a while, in a great while, a shirt comes along that is so good, it leaves us totally speechless. There's no reason for us to even pretend otherwise today. And we won't.
They're $10 shipped over at shirt.woot.com (today only). So go get one now and show your appreciation for everyone's favorite sundae topping.
Shirt Woot (if you click this after today, 6.22.09, it will be a different shirt)
Thanks to Matty, Julian, Etienne, Jenny and Melissa, who once spilled a jar bacon bits and ate the floor.
Jun 17 2009 Looking For Trouble: Underwear Purses
These Underwear Purses from Parcel are purses that look like kid's underwear. They're not made from real underwear though because then they'd be all pee-stained and skidmark-y. They cost about $11. But I've got to warn you: the last time I was caught out in public toting around a bunch of kid's underwear, I have never touched children's underwear.
Jun 11 2009 Star Trek Communicator App For iPhone
Want a realistic Star Trek communicator app for your iPhone? You're in luck, dog.
This classic Star Trek communicator app for iPhone slipped past us when it was first released into the App Store at the end of May. The spot on graphics and familiar chirping sound triggered when performing the epic cover-flip to access the communicator's controls is pure goodness.
This app is dangerously authentic and it's actually useful too. Unfortunately the developers had to name it "Star Radio Communicator" ($.99) in order to keep Paramount from sniffing out their brilliant effort.
*BEEP BOOP chirpity chirp chirp* Geekologie Writer, come in -- this is your captain speaking. What do you say you and I go investigate planet Dinosauria and score some sweet tail? "Captain, I've already been beamed."
UPDATE: App was purchased by several Geekologie Readers who attest the thing is a monster piece of shit and doesn't sound right at all. Save your buck.
Star Trek Communicator for iPhone Is Spot On [iphonesavior]
Thanks to Michael, who boob beep chirpity chirps all the ladies. And to Dan, Aaron and konstance for each pissing away $1 to find out it sucks the balls.
Jun 3 2009 For Questionable Sale: Ghosts In Bottles
Want a pet ghost but too big a wuss to kill somebody in your own house? Well you're in luck, because now you can buy bottled ghosts for a scant $20. Just don't drink them!
Each Ghost is captured from a reported haunted establishment, (house, hotel, ship, cemetery, etc), by our Ghost Hunters.
We seal the ghost in it's own bottle. The bottle is sealed for your protection.You may release the Ghost at your own discretion and at your own risk.
The Ghost in the Bottle is contained mysteriously and is therefore sealed with wax shortly after the Ghost is caught. The bottle is sealed for your protection. It comes with very important information . We supply the Ghost, you supply the name. Individual Ghost experiences may vary as "Each Ghost is Unique"!
Pfft, bottled ghosts. Like a ghost couldn't get out of a damn waxed bottle if it wanted to. THEY'RE NOT GENIES YOU IDIOTS. I swear, some people don't know supernatural shit.
Thanks to Roger, who actually has a genie in a bottle and her name is Christina.
May 25 2009 The Cap-Sac Is A Fanny Pack For Your Head
The Cap-sac came out in 1987 but didn't sell very well because there was no internet then. But now, thanks to a magical series of tubes, the Cap-sac is back to the future and helping people get laid and store things at the same time. It's a fanny pack for your head, yo. Available in both neon and non-neon colors, the $13 hats promise to add a bit of retro flair and storage space to almost any domepiece. I wear two at once because I'm so fresh and also I don't like things in my pockets that make me jingle. You hear that, Santa? I can hear your ass coming from a mile away!
Hit the jump for a couple more shots because I roll deep.
Continue Reading " The Cap-Sac Is A Fanny Pack For Your Head "
May 19 2009 Baaaaad Idea: Cheap Terminator Costumes
Just in time for the new movie, Toys-Я-Us is selling $13 T-600 (looks more like a T-6 if you ask me) costumes for children. I mean, it's not even Halloween. You let your kid run around the neighborhood with this thing on and it's game over, man! Wait, that was Aliens. Anyway, the costumes were made to compliment the rest of the crap they're marketing to children under 13 who shouldn't even be allowed to see the movie. Just sayin', my dad took me to see the original Terminator when I was 4. It all makes sense now, doesn't it?
Thanks to Reason, who once killed a T-600 with a laser beam and then called its mother Robo-Cop.
May 13 2009 I Want: Sweet $100,000 Hoverpack Action
This is some more video of the $100,000 Martin "Jetpack" that will be available later this year. That's right folks, your very own hoverpack for less than you'd pay for a Lamborghini. Almost sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? No, not really. But still, I want one.
...capable of accurate control, and it's said to fly for 30 minutes at 60 mph, and travel a distance of 8000 feet. Still no word on how high it can go, or if it can exceed the altitude where it's boosted by that helpful ground effect. But this is a great improvement over the demos from last year.
Oh hell yes. You know, this jetpack reminds me of the time I jumped off my neighbor's holding a ceiling fan over my head -- but with less flying to the moon and banging martians. They really do have green nipples!
