Nov 5 2009 This Isn't Your Grandma's Cell Phone! Yes It Is.
If there's one thing old people love it's soft food. If there's another it's stuff with giant-ass buttons so they can push the right one with their shaky, arthritic fingers. Aaaaaand I've officially depressed myself. Good times. Anyway, this is a cell phone for old people and people with fat fingers. Or, as we like to call them in the hand modeling biz, Vienna digits.
The 6380 Senior Mobile Phone ($75 USD) does actually have a few handy features, including a built in flashlight, and a giant "SOS" button on the back that can automatically dial a pre-set emergency number, and emit a loud warning alarm. It's also got a minimal display with large on-screen fonts, and a whopping 128×60 screen resolution.
I kind of want one. Not that I have fat fingers, because I don't. I'm just clumsy. One time I tried ordering a pizza and ended up spending an hour on a phone sex line. DAMN YEAH I WANT PEPPERONI ON THAT!
Hit the jump for two more shots of the latest in geriatric communication technology.
Continue Reading " This Isn't Your Grandma's Cell Phone! Yes It Is. "
Nov 5 2009 WTF Was That?: The Lateset Android Ad
Just as I suspected, Motorola's new Droid phone (which drops tomorrow) is at the middle of a U.S. government conspiracy to wipe out the American midwest. Why the government would want to do this is beyond me, but if I had to guess it has something to do with farm subsidies. I'm on to you, the man!
Thanks to Marc, Blitz and Tiny Jim, who have all ridden in stealth bombers but they can't talk about it because if they did they'd have to stealth kill you like a ninja.
Nov 2 2009 iPhone Fan Makes Anti-Droid Commercial
If you watch television you've probably seen the anti-iPhone Droid commercial that Verizon is running (if you haven't, watch it after the jump first). Well this is an anti-Droid commercial in the same style, created by a crazed iPhone fan that doesn't like it when people bad-talk his girlfriend. TOO BAD THE HUSSY DROPS MY CALLS ALL THE TIME. Ooooh, burn!
Hit the jump for the original commercial.
Sep 22 2009 Idiot Moron Uses 600K Text Messages/Month
Some idiot moron, in an effort to become the world's biggest failure at life, used 662,258 text messages on his iPhone in a month. Plus the jerkbag got the 12,301 page itemized bill sent to him, so he doesn't even care about trees. I did the math, and it comes out to sending a text message just about every 4 seconds, all day every day. So I assume there was some sort of automated program involved. Also, a monster douche.
Hit the jump for two videos of the idiot looking at his bill.
Continue Reading " Idiot Moron Uses 600K Text Messages/Month "
Aug 29 2009 There's An App For That: iPhone Fauxmercial
This is a fake commercial for iPhone apps. I thought it was pretty funny. And not just because stalking ex-girlfriends is funny, because that is only mildy humorous (but mostly sad and creepy). No, I just couldn't get enough of the guy's voice. I must have you on my home answering machine!
LEAKED: New iPhone commercial [adamthinks]
Thanks to The Baroness, who had an iPhone for a day and then dropped it and broke it BECAUSE SHE MEANT TO.
Aug 27 2009 Why Didn't I Think Of That?: Banana Phone
The Banana Cellfoam is a $10 piece of foam rubber that molds around your mobile phone, making it appear as though you're taking calls with a banana. Which I think we can all agree is pretty genius. Plus, you can turn your phone on vibrate and tell a friend to call for an instant sex toy! Kidding, that's icky. Holsters for the banana phone are also available, or you can just keep it in your pocket and save $8 while gaining some much needed respect from the ladies. You know, because they won't think it's a banana -- they'll think it's a gun! And firearms, dear reader, should be respected at all times.
Thanks to Matt, who once tried to impress the ladies with a whole pocketful of bananas but ended up getting beat within an inch of his life by a monkey that escaped the circus riding a tiger.
Aug 25 2009 Geekologie Reader's DIY Cell Phone Charger
Proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that you all are the most cunning, clever and best looking blog readers out there, Geekologie Reader Magnus recently fashioned himself a cell phone desk charger MacGyver style.
As my new phone came with no desk charger I had to make one. The desk charger was fashioned from my old N95 which did not survive the 40degree wash (thanks for that Jo), the better part of an eraser, a broken cigarette lighter and about 30 Royal Mail elastic bands.
Plus, it looks better than anything you could buy. I still think it could use some more rubber bands though. And maybe a stapler.
Thanks Magnus, now how about a docking station for my pager? I know it takes regular batteries, I just want one!
Aug 20 2009 RAWR!: The Best iPhone Dock Ever Made
This is an iPhone dock made out of a dinosaur toy. You can make one yourself if you want. You just cut a hole in a dinosaur toy, maybe pleasure yourself with it a couple times because I mean, it's there, and then stuff the docking wire in there. It is seriously the best iPhone dock you could possibly ever make and I don't want any lip about it. I mean it, what I say goes. I am the world's greatest lover. BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW CAUSE I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL. No, I said special, not special needs.
iPhone Dinosaur Dock Is Bound To Rule Them All [iphonesavior]
Thanks to Byll and Aaron, who, RAWR! Okay, now I'm in the mood.
Aug 20 2009 Whee!: See-Through WindowPhone Concept
I am back home safe and sound. Geekologie will now return to its regularly schedule program.
The WindowPhone was conceptualized by every single person that daydreams about the future, but designer Seunghan Song actually took the time to create a rendering of it. This is that rendering.
The phone would essentially be translucent, displaying information and images on a window-like surface in a form factor relatively similar to the iPhone's.
The killer feature of this concept phone is its ability to change the look of the display glass to match the current weather conditions of your location (i.e. sunny day equals clear screen, rainy day equals virtual droplets on your screen).
I know how much some of you hate things that are only conceptual, but remember: concepts are what push us towards the future. And the future, as you may know, is filled with giant, terrifying robots. Which is why these designers should all be killed. Also, if the battery dies in this thing you can forget about ever finding your phone again.
WindowPhone concept points to future of touch cell phones [dvice]
Aug 2 2009 iPhone Allegedly Catches Fire, Ruins Upholstry
Allegedly some Dutch guy's iPhone spontaneously combusted in his passenger seat when he stepped away from his vehicle to fix a windmill and make a pair of wooden shoes. Per the translation:
Pieter from Leiden had this afternoon, unfortunately the Dutch premiere of his iPhone 3G spontaneously started burning. His iPhone 3G was on the passenger's seat in standby mode and not the charger. By returning to his car came thick black smoke through the door to the outside and the cause was his iPhone 3G in spontaneously fire was flown. Besides a total devastated iPhone 3G Pieter has also considerable damage to his car.
Pieter has direct contact with Apple Netherlands and T-mobile but n och Apple or T-mobile still take some responsibility.
Hey, weirder things have happened. I can't think of any right now but I'm sure they have. Well, there was this one time I parked my car, opened the door, and there was a $10 SITTING RIGHT THERE. Explain that one without aliens. Exactly, you can't.
Hit the jump for two more shots of the damage.
Continue Reading " iPhone Allegedly Catches Fire, Ruins Upholstry "
Jul 17 2009 Cell Phone Lighter: For All Your Cancer Needs
The SB6309 Lighter Phone isn't just the best named cellphone ever, it's also the first with a functional cigarette lighter. Brain AND lung cancers in one fell swoop! But seriously, mind if I do a J?
instruction
SB6309 The world's first mobile phone with lighter!
Patent product Gold cigarette lighter
Defend wind,
No gas,
Never blew out
Suit for high altitude areas
Well technically, those weren't instructions. They were, however, convincing. That's right -- you're looking at the first U.S. authorized dealer! Haha, now my garage is on fire.
Lighter phone may be the most dangerous cellphone ever [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, who once went to a strip club where the strippers dipped their nipples in wax and you were allowed to light your cigarettes off them.
Jul 17 2009 Guy Gets Palm Pre Tattoo To Win Free Phone
Some jackass went and got a Palm Pre tattoo on his arm in an attempt to win a free phone. Wow, I don't even know what to say. Except, ZOMG -- I'm getting a Ferrari tat!
Thanks to Brian, the actual tattoo artist, for at least giving the man a good looking Pre.
Jul 8 2009 How Much All The iPhone Apps Would Cost
If you wanted to buy all the current iPhone apps, guess how much it would cost? Go on, take a stab at it. But wait till I'm a safe distance away, you wield a knife like a crazy person. BOOM: 55,732 apps for a total of $144,326.06. Which, amazingly, is still $118K over my lifetime earning potential. You know how some people eat ramen? I eat rocks.
Jul 6 2009 Another Day, Another Retro iPhone Case
Last week it was an exceptionally made oldschool Playstation iPhone case, and this week, a Game Boy.
"You will love it, and your friends will be jealous because you are so much cooler." said German designer Toastkawaii wildly exaggerating in her product description.
$15 will take one home, and another $10 will take me. Now I don't know about you, but I'm digging this one more than the fancy Playstation. This one's got a nice kindergarten arts and crafts feel to it.
Hit the jump for another shot.
Jun 26 2009 Guy Fills iPhone With Cleverly Made Icons
This is a pretty exciting picture of some guy's iPhone. As you can see, he traded all the icons out for pictures he made himself. Pretty cute. Not the phone -- your dog. Can I pet it?
This iPhone is Freakin' Hilarious [gizmodo]
Thanks to greg, who traded out all his iPhone icons for nothing because WHO NEEDS BUTTONS AM I RIGHT?!
Jun 19 2009 Dress Lights Up To Incoming Cell Phone Calls
This is tennis star Mario Maria Sharpova showing off a new dress that lights up whenever you receive a cell phone call. Pfft, the deaf have had this technology for years.
It's the work of British fashion student Georgie Davies, who worked with Sony Ericsson on ways to merge technology and chic threads. "When you're in a pub or a bar, you can never, ever hear your phone," Davies to Reuters. The solution? A short-sleeved, knee-length white dress that's covered shoulder-to-hip with translucent scales that move and blink. Davies plans for the dress to incorporate Bluetooth technology so that it can wirelessly interact with phones.
Yes, light up cell phone clothes, that's just what we need. Because your novelty ringtone isn't bad enough. Mine's straight though. Zelda theme, baby.
Tennis star Maria Sharpova dons geeky light-up phone dress [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, who once played in Wimbledon and hit a home run.
May 12 2009 No Surprises Here: How That Viral Samsung HD Camera Phone Commercial Was Created
Remember that viral Samsung ad with the mysterious disappearing phone? Me neither! *rewatches video* Oh right, that looked vaguely familiar. Well, this video explains how they made it just in case you care. And, not to ring our own collective bike bell or anything, but it's exactly how we all thought. Well, except for you -- you're slow. Like a turtle. ONE WHO CAN'T EVEN BEAT A RABBIT IN A FOOTRACE. But still, I like you. I like turtles.
Samsung's puzzling camera trick: here's how they did it [dvice]
May 2 2009 On Camera: Bus Driver Crashes While Texting
He's not just driving any bus either, he's sporting that short joint (see man in wheelchair tethered in the back). Jesus. Dude texts for six minutes straight before finally rear-ending somebody. You'd think being on camera would be enough to deter this sort of behavior, but no, it's not. This is almost as bad as your middle school bus driver drinking and smoking the whole ride. Miss you Mrs. Wright! Madison County (AL) Public Schools Bus #114 FTW!
Bus Driver Crashes While Texting [break]
Thanks to Brandon, who once piloted a bus off a cliff but downshifted right before he hit the ground and drove off without a scratch.
Apr 22 2009 Two Pennsylvania Men Set Texting Record
That's right, in a bid to be crowned the world's biggest losers, Nick Andes, 29 and Doug Klinger, 30, sent over 217,000 text messages during the month of March. Also, Nick was mistakenly sent a $27K phone bill (which has since been cleared up) for the textacular achievement. You two must be so proud.
Andes and Klinger were able to set up their phones to send multiple messages. During a February test run they found they could send 6,000 or 7,000 messages on some days, prompting the March messaging marathon.
"Most were either short phrases or one word, 'LOL' or 'Hello,' things like that, with tons and tons of repeats," said Andes, reached by phone.Andes sent more than 140,000 messages, and Klinger sent more than 70,000 to end the month with a total of just over 217,000, he said.
Wow, that has got to be one of the saddest things I've ever copy/pasted. And this is coming from a guy who copy/pasted a picture of a smushed cat all around town to encourage people to drive slower. So yeah, I'm the authority. Now -- up against the wall and spread em! Wider. Haha, you ripped your pants.
Record attempt reaps 217K texts, $26K phone bill [myway]
Thanks to Thumperchica, who agrees some records are best left unbroken.
Mar 11 2009 Race Car Controlled With Blackberry Storm
So apparently some guys programmed a Blackberry Storm to control a little toy race car using its accelerometers. Then they posted the video on Youtube. Then McLaren saw the video and contacted them about using the device to control a real race car. And that's what they did (second half of the video). Pretty neat. Sure, not as neat as controlling a race car with your mind, but hey, we'd have to go to the aliens for that technology. Which would probably require a few sacrificial probings. Just saying, I'm friends with them. Ladies? No? Okay, plan B. Effeminate gentlemen?
Thanks to Curtis and Troy, who both know race car is the same spelled forward and backwards. It's palindromic!
