Oct 14 2009 Live Action Mario, Lou Albano, Dies At 76

Some of you whippersnappers may be too young to remember the awesomeness that was the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, a 52-episode series that come out in '89. But I do, because it was on tv, and tv was my only friend (plus on Fridays there were Zelda cartoons!).

Wrestling fans know him as the WWE Hall of Famer who managed more than 50 wrestlers in his day, with more than two dozen championships won by athletes taken under his wing. 80's music fans might remember him from his appearances in many Cyndi Lauper music videos, including "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", "She Bop", "Time After Time" and "The Goonies 'R' Good Enough." As gamers, we of course remember him as the best live-action Mario of all time.

Sadly, Lou Albano passed away today at 76. He will be missed.

Opening credits to the show on Youtube HERE.
Entire show HERE.

Live-Action Mario Dead At 76 [kotaku]

Thanks to Doctor Steel, Aisha and Gabriel, who promise to send flowers to the funeral. Good looking, guys -- but they better be fireball flowers and not Piranha plants.

Aug 31 2009 Disney To Acquire Marvel For $4 Billion

Mickey Mouse, in a power move to impress his ratty love interest Minnie, has decided to buy up Marvel Comics for a staggering $4 billion. With the sale come all the right's to Marvel's cache of over 5,000 characters. FIVE THOUSAND!

We believe that adding Marvel to Disney's unique portfolio of brands provides significant opportunities for long-term growth and value creation," Disney president and chief executive Robert Iger said.

"We are pleased to bring this talent and these great assets to Disney."

"Disney is the perfect home for Marvel's fantastic library of characters given its proven ability to expand content creation and licensing businesses," said Marvel chief executive Ike Perlmutter.

I mean, way to go and all, Disney, but this was a pretty foolish business decision if you ask me. What in the hell are you gonna do with 5,000 Marvel characters? You should have just bought the 30 cool ones.

Disney to buy Marvel in $4bn deal [bbcnews]

Thanks to Reverend Faux, Lomig, Jason, Aaron, Lauren, Cade, A Girl Named Michael, draw and jawn, who have all puked on different Disney rides, including It's A Small World (it was Jason!).

Aug 31 2009 Ninja Turtles Offering Relationship Advice

I like turtles AND pizza. Also, this is good news for me cause I couldn't cook to save my life anyway (don't even think about it, Jigsaw!).

TMNT Relationship Advice [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Aisha, who offered up this piece of relationship advice: Chicks dig guys who aren't monster douchebags (douching is so 80's).

Aug 10 2009 Bad Idea: Creepy Surgical Masks For Dentists

How would you like that nightmare standing above you with a drill in its hand? You wouldn't, would you? My gums are bleeding just thinking about it.

Clever surgical masks with funny cartoon mouths were sent to dentists in Hamburg, Germany. The goal was to lighten up a visit to the dentist for the kids and everyone else, as well as to promote Colgate Smiles Kids toothbrushes.

Honestly, I'd rather knock all my teeth out with a cinderblock than face a dentist wearing a mask like that AND I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH NITROUS YOU GIVE ME. I'll tell you what, give me a take-home tank and you've got a deal. Okay now I -- I have two fingers.

Hit the jump for several more shots of a terrible idea.

Continue Reading " Bad Idea: Creepy Surgical Masks For Dentists "

Aug 6 2009 Gotta Eat 'Em All!: More Geeky Cupcakes

If there's one thing I learned in baking school it's how to put out a fire (stop, drop and roll). And there's another, it's how much I enjoyed eating the things other people made. Mine? Mine never turned out because baking is a women's sport. High five, ladies! Wait -- is that batter? Let me lick your fingers. Anywho, this is a little gallery of geeky cupcakes. It's just a grab-bag really, so there's something here for everyone -- including you folks in prison (I slipped a file into the third robot). And for the last time, DON'T SWALLOW IT.

Hit the jump for nine more, including some Dangermouse action. DANGERMOUSE, SON!

Continue Reading " Gotta Eat 'Em All!: More Geeky Cupcakes "

Jul 31 2009 A-Ha!: So That's The Other Half Of The Battle

This $20 t-shirt depicts what the other, more mysterious half of a G.I. Joe battle is. Now I would have guessed it's a pork chop sandwich/body massage combo, but what do I know? Besides, oh I dunno, EVERYTHING AND THEN SOME. Numbers? I KNOW MY NUMBERS. You + me + ice cream = <3

Product Site

Thanks to Julian and Rastapopolous, who sunshine day ya a time for de bus rida.

Jul 16 2009 Run Snoopy, Run!: Nightmarish Charlie Brown

This is a painting of Charlie Brown by artist Tim O'Brien. Scary, no? I'm sorry if you're not gonna be able to sleep tonight, but I live by the mantra "if I had to see, so do you". Sweet dreams!

Also, for the hundreds of people who keep sending the "dead body eating robot" tip, I posted it earlier this week. I get depressed as hell when I get the same tip I posted a few days ago. *sniff* Don't you read regularly? YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!

Tim O'Brien's Painting of Charlie Brown [agentmlovestacos]

Thanks to FDSY, who you can blame for not being able to sleep at night. And not just because he's hiding under your bed, but he is.

Jul 9 2009 Help Female Geekologie Reader Find Undies

So I got a strange request from a female reader and, being the sucker lover of women's underwear gentleman that I am, I figured you guys might be able to help. But please note: you will receive no credit for your contribution, because I will tell her I did it all.

----- Original Message -----

From: A Sexy Reader
To: The Geekologie Writer
Sent: Thursday, July 09, 2009 3:22 AM
Subject: NEED HELP!!!

If there's anyone who can help me here, i know you can!!! I've been searching on the web for a while but am starting to get SUPER BUMMED! I even posted a YAHOO ANSWERS question (LINK) but no luck! Long story short, I want to expand my undie collection. I love my care bears and all... but it's time to add to it... Problem is I don't know where to find adult, female underwear with sweet graphics/logos like TMNT, MEGA MAN, TETRIS, G.I. JOE, POWER RANGERS (only the originals), STREET FIGHTER, X-MEN, ZELDA, etc.

Surely you've HAD to have come across some websites that can answer my problem!? Please let me know! Also, you are so totally handsome I will send you pictures if you help me out!

What -- no I didn't add that last part myself! I added that last part myself. :(

Yahoo Answers

Jul 6 2009 Cartoons The Way They Should Have Been

James Cauty created a work entitled Splatter that features the cartoons from your childhood (or mine at least) the way they should have been: bloody (two blood posts in a row -- body fluids FTW!).

Pop artist James Cauty's work Splatter repurposes classic Warner Bros. and Hanna-Barbera cartoons and gives them a Sin City-style blood spatter makeover, "presenting the viewer with unrelenting acts of bloody, cartoon violence, which, in cartoon law, ultimately cannot cause fatal injury."

Great, this is just great. Like we don't have enough problems with today's youth already. Namely: spelling. Seriously, they can't do it -- and I, for one, blame texting. And Grand Theft Auto.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of the violence in progress. Then punch your roommate in the face and blame it on the cartoon.

Continue Reading " Cartoons The Way They Should Have Been "

Jun 29 2009 Sadness: Superheroes, The Golden Years

This is a little gallery of superheroes past their prime. They were all drawn by Italian artist Donald Soffritti and made me sadder than hell. You know, because they got me thinking about growing old and shit. Too profound for you? I'm deeper than an ocean trench.

Hit the jump for some of my favorites, then the link for a whole bunch more.

Continue Reading " Sadness: Superheroes, The Golden Years "

Jun 8 2009 I'd Eat It: A Meatwad Inspired Meat Dress

This is a Meatwad (of Aqua teen Hunger Force fame) inspired cosplay dress. As you can see, the chick isn't looking too Meatwad-y. More Meatstick-y. AND THE DRESS IS MADE FROM REAL FREAKING MEAT. AAAAAAAAAAH I'M IN LOVE!

I considered somehow vacuum-sealing sheets of meat with those sealers they have on the markets now, but the machines were too expensive for a one-time-only disposeable dress. I ended up using the K.I.S.S. method of construction, which involved a basic shift dress out of thick cotton. I layed the meat on top, then put clear vinyl over it and sewed tracks with clear thread. I used a wide stitch length to avoid perforating the meat to the point it might just... uh, slide down the bottom of the dress. I also blotted it all before sewing to get rid of as much grease as possible to avoid clouding the vinyl. Lastly, I made sure to bind the bottom of the dress with a strip of clear vinyl to catch drips.

That was hands down the sexiest thing I've ever read. Now I'm not saying I'd make love to this woman just because she made a dress out of meat, but I 100% would. Twice. And then have her make sandwiches out of...you guessed it! I know, I should write fairy tales.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to Jia Jem's cosplay site which has A TON of other sexy costumes she's made. Literally, a ton. I think I have a new crush.

Continue Reading " I'd Eat It: A Meatwad Inspired Meat Dress "

Apr 29 2009 3D Chess Adds Dimension To The Game

Tired of playing plain old chess? 3-way chess just not cutting it for you anymore? How about some 3-D chess? What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack, and fits on your back, It's 3D CHESS CHESS CHESS! Ooooh snap -- you just got Ren and Stimpy'd! Anyways, this 3D chessboard was designed by Ji Lee and bears an unstriking resemblance to Star Trek Tri-Dimensional Chess. Truthfully, I never even know the rules for chess*, I just like playing with the pieces. Haha -- my castle just stomped one of your guys with the hat! Now it's gonna....WHAT'S YOUR HORSEY DOING ON MY QUEEN?!?

3D Chessboard Is Like Q*bert for Smart People [gizmodo]

*I was kidding for the sake of the article, I'm actually a Grand Dungeon Master.

Mar 17 2009 Soccer Moms Outraged At Grown Up Dora

Apparently Mattel and Nickelodeon rolled out an image of a new "tween" Dora the Explorer last week and a lot of soccer moms are super pissed she's not the chubby little midriff-flashing five year-old she used to be. So Nickelodeon had to fire back.

"I think there was just a misconception in terms of where we were going with this," Gina Sirard, vice president of marketing at Mattel, says. "Pretty much the moms who are petitioning aging Dora up certainly don't understand. ... I think they're going to be pleasantly happy once this is available in October, and once they understand this certainly isn't what they are conjuring up."

"The reason for creating this new Dora line is to offer an alternative to moms who want their daughters to stay little girls, a little longer," the statement concludes. The Tween Dora doll comes with a USB port and is compatible with online story lines.

First of all, who cares. And secondly, Dora's mom, and this is just between you and me -- I think she's taking Fen-Phen.

New Tween "Dora The Explorer" Revealed [ohnotheydidnt] (with some pretty funny comments if you're bored)

Thanks to Duran, who's still pissed his children's show Tucker the Spelunker never took off.

Mar 11 2009 Go-Go Gadget Ugly: Dr. Claw's Real Face

This is a picture of Dr. Claw's face from Inspector Gadget. For those of you who wanted to keep it a mystery, I'm sorry, but I was too lazy to edit a picture with a censor bar. Oh, and the Easter Bunny isn't real either -- it's just some sex offender in a rabbit costume. Geekologie: shooting straight from the hip since April, 2006.

Hit the jump for a full body shot and bonus MAD Cat.

Continue Reading " Go-Go Gadget Ugly: Dr. Claw's Real Face "

Feb 9 2009 Desecrate My Childhood: He-Man Re-Imagined

Growing up, I thought He-Man was the perfect guy. He was strong, smart, sexy, and hung around a ragtag group of dudes all day. Does it get any better?* So why artists Alex Leighton and Marko Djurdjevic felt it necessary to re-imagine the hunk is beyond me. Alex sells his very lighthearted, cartooon-y acrylic originals for $45 (examples after the jump), while Marko, well, Marko is obviously depressed. That's his He-Man there.

Man-At-Arms: He-Man -- Skeletor approaches, we must attack!
He-Man: He-who? I need a clean needle.

Hit the jump for a bunch more of the two completely different takes on He-Man and the Masters of My Universe.

*Not unless he mixes a good daiquiri.

Continue Reading " Desecrate My Childhood: He-Man Re-Imagined "

Jan 27 2009 Awh Yeah: Some Sexy Pokemon Cosplay

It's already been noted here on Geekologie that I have a thing for Pokemon. Now that may or may not be true, but the point I'm trying to make is that I would totally do the chick in these photos. I mean it too, I would get mad electric up on that. With a car battery. "WHERE'S THE MASTER BALL?!"

Hit the jump for three more. One has a yellow car partially in the shot.

Continue Reading " Awh Yeah: Some Sexy Pokemon Cosplay "

Dec 8 2008 Will You Marry Me?: Another Pokeman Fanatic

As many of you probably don't know because I'm just now making it up, I love Pokemon. Pikachu, that lovable little electric turd, really does something to me. Something deep down in my heart, near the cockles. And I just found out I'm not the only one! That's right, this crazy chick is even more Pokemontastic than yours truly. And that's saying a lot (reference legally changing name and having sex with a stuffed animal). Just check out all that crap! That's a lot of crap! Hit the link to see even more, including a decked out Pokemon car! WTF! Amazingly, this woman can probably still have sex in that room, so why can't I? I show a girl my bedroom (aka Pikachu's Pleasure Dome) and she's running for the door almost as soon as the Pokemon theme starts playing. Can somebody say double standard? And also, double bed. Just saying, Pikachu sheets. Ladies?

Hit the jump for more of what even weekly meetings can't help.

Continue Reading " Will You Marry Me?: Another Pokeman Fanatic "

Sep 26 2008 Safe For Work Porn Is Still Highly Questionable

Note: Possibly still NSFW

This is an allegedly safe for work porno video. It's supposedly safe because they've cleverly covered up all the action with cartoons. I dare say I found it more stimulating than the real thing. Especially the pinball scene. RAWR!

Diesel: SFW XXX [creativity-online]

Thanks to Jonathan and Patricio, who, despite the tips, insist they're not perverts.

Jun 20 2008 Realistic Niko Bellic From GTA4, And Stewie

Well it's been a little while since we've seen some sweet Pixeloo untoonage here on Geekologie. And since today is Friday and I'm already six dryer sheets to the wind, I figured now is as good a time as any to take light some romantic candles and take a milk bath. While not really a toon, this is a realistic rendering of what Niko Bellic might look like after he just cracked his knuckles and is preparing to "kill that ass mad dead." He looks good. Reminds me of myself. I'm handsome and rugged and wear turtlenecks. Seriously though Niko, you can see straight to my soul with that stare of yours, can't you? What does it look like? I always imagined it as a white hazy light that kind of pulsates. Just a giant turd, huh? Damn.

Hit the jump for the FRIDAY BONUS PICTURE of Stewie from Family Guy untooned. It's scary as hell!

Continue Reading " Realistic Niko Bellic From GTA4, And Stewie "

Apr 23 2008 Jessica Rabbit Is Hot Despite Not Being Real

Remember the "human-like" versions of Mario and Homer from a while ago? Well pixeloo is at it again, this time with a smoking hot Jessica Rabbit. There, I said it. She's not real and she's hot. Can you see what I'm doing now? I'm doing that thing that the cartoon wolf does where his eyeballs pop out and his tongue rolls onto the floor because he's staring at a hot chick. That's what I look like right now. The cats are getting scared. Anyway, there's Jessica Rabbit with "realistic lighting and textures." Say, have you ever watched the scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit on laserdisc frame-by-frame to see Jessica's, ahem, rabbit? Yeah, me neither.*

*Unless doing it when you're 12 counts, which it totally doesn't.

Another side-by-side comparison shot of Jessica, and a link to the urban legend page that references the scene I'm talking about (with pictures!), after the jump.

Continue Reading " Jessica Rabbit Is Hot Despite Not Being Real "