Nov 18 2009 I Like: Geekologie Reader's Mario Animation

This is a 'Pulp Fiction' styled Mario animation that Geekologie Reader Jeremie made. It is most impressive and has restored my faith in Geekologie Readers. For awhile there I was worried you were just a bunch of no-talent FIRST!ing ass-hats. So yeah -- thanks Jeremie, I needed that. *removes laser blaster from mouth*

Youtube

Thanks to Jeremie, whose starcoin-purse is the one that says 'bad mother f***er' on it.

Nov 17 2009 BURN IT DOWN!: The Bender Head House

The Bender House looks like Bender's dome from Futurama. If you've never seen Futurama I'm going to assume you don't have a television or internet so you probably aren't even reading this. Unless they print out copies of Geekologie and distribute them in Africa, which, I think we can all agree, is the best idea you've ever heard. Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and start taking bets on how many beers it takes me to crash out of Bender's right eye and lay bleeding in the driveway -- oh -- oh -- *crash* Fourteen and a couple buttery nipples. Now somebody call 911 411, this guy needs a pizza.

I want this house [warmingglow]

Thanks to Marcie, who used to live in a house that looked like Robbie the Robot but it mysteriously burnt down. *whistling* Weird.

Nov 13 2009 Intergalactic Beats: Star Wars Gangster Rap

This is a Star Wars gangster rap and music video created by Bent TV. It was incredibly well made except the rappers didn't seem like real mf'ing g's. They looked like a bunch of pranksters and studio gangsters. YES I GOT THE RIGHT TO RAP ABOUT THAT. Check it this little ditty I just came up with:

Princess Leia, what a ho, I tossed her down the Sarlacc Hole

Them Ewoks furry, tauntauns warm, I shot up the Death Star
Then got drunk off top-shelf liquor and had sex with like 30 AT-AT's

I AM THE HARDEST! HARDER THAN THESE DIAMOND CHAINS!

ALL NEW! Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles [atom]

Thanks to Jack, Angelina, Ringo and Mark, who are all hardcore mediumcore. Not bad!

Nov 12 2009 Impressive: Dr. Mario Song And Music Video

This is a super impressive Dr. Mario song and accompanying animated music video, the result of a collaboration between Brentalfloss (of Mega Man, Super Mario World and Tetris song fame) and Parker Simmons. Good lookin', guys. Also, who knew that Link had Hepatitis? I mean, besides Zelda. And Talon. And *ahem* Epona. WRAP THAT OCARINA UP, SON!

Youtube

Thanks to Mr. Cow, who doesn't put up with other bull. Get it? I know, I LOL'd too.

Oct 12 2009 Eh: Marge Simpson In Upcoming Playboy

Whee, Marge Simpson is gonna be in the upcoming November issue of Playboy. Great, like I haven't already seen her naked a million times in those racy cartoon pop-ups that I got from that sketchy hentai porn site came pre-installed on my computer.

Playboy said the cover and a three-page picture spread inside was a celebration of the 20th anniversary of the "The Simpsons" and part of a plan to appeal to a younger generation of readers.

Scott Flanders (IRONIC!), the recently-hired chief executive of Playboy Enterprises, told the Chicago Sun-Times in an interview that the Marge Simpson cover and centerfold was "somewhat tongue-in-cheek."

"It had never been done, and we thought it would be kind of hip, cool and unusual," Flanders told the newspaper. He said the magazine hoped to attract readers in their 20s compared to the average Playboy reader's age of 35.

Right, "hip, cool and unusual". Listen, Playboy, this guy sucks. You want somebody to help you appeal to a younger, more influential demographic, I'm your man. And by man I mean huckleberry. You're no Daisy -- you're not Daisy at all! Wow, that just took on an all new, much sadder meaning.

Marge Simpson makes cover of Playboy [yahoonews]

Thanks to Scarlet, Camille, john and Duke, who aren't stimulated by cartoons because they're sexually repressed. Geez, you guys need some Saturday morning therapy.

Sep 25 2009 Looks Promising: Halo Anime Series Preview

Here are a couple video previews of the upcoming Halo Legends anime series due out later this fall. I thought they looked okay. I mean, it's no Cowboy Bebop, but then again, THERE'S NO DOG NAMED EINSTEIN (I'm partial to dogs named Einstein, you see. Especially scruffy ones!). So yeah, what do you guys think? Excited? Indifferent? Would you rather watch paint dry? Or would you rather watch me eat lead-based paint chips? CAUSE I WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU!

Hit the jump for another one, which is mostly horn-tooting for the people who made it.

Continue Reading " Looks Promising: Halo Anime Series Preview "

Jul 28 2009 Marvel Superheroes Getting Anime Treatment

Not to be outdone by Master Chief, both Iron Man and Wolverine are getting the anime treatment courtesy of Madhouse Studios and Marvel Entertainment. Allegedly, two more superheroes will follow. This is the teaser for Iron Man, Wolverine is behind the cut. Get it, behind the cut? Because of his claws!

Hit it for Wolverine, which was much weirder.

Continue Reading " Marvel Superheroes Getting Anime Treatment "

Jul 27 2009 Master Chief Theater: Halo Anime Coming

You like what I did with the title there? I lol'd. And by lol'd I mean tried to hammer my teeth out with a XBox 360 controller. So anyway, there comes a time when all great franchises must come to an end in a horrible burning fire of suck. This is that time for Halo.

Microsoft is teaming with five production houses for a series of seven short films called Halo Legends, reports the Los Angeles Times. The five production houses are some of the biggest names in the industry:

Bones, Casio Entertainment, Production I.G., Studio4 C, and Toei Animation.

The creative director overseeing the production is Shinji Aramaki, director of Appleseed and Appleseed Ex Machina.

Actually, this could turn out to be pretty good. Probably not pork chop sandwiches good, but genius like that doesn't grow on trees. IT COMES FROM PIGS, SILLY!

Details About Halo Anime [kotaku]

Thanks to Master Chief woot woot, Master Chief's funner, harder-partying brother.

Jun 20 2009 Pew Pew!: Guy Builds Bumblebee In Yard

As most of you probably know, the original Bumblebee was a Volkswagen Beetle. And as very few of you probably know, I still have the original toy around here somewhere because I'm gangster.

Tom Rhodes likes Transformers. So, naturally, he built an 18-foot-tall, 1,200-pound Bumblebee robot out of an old Volkswagen Beetle.

As you can see, Bumblebee protects Tom's windmill from the Decepticons. Because, fun fact: Decepticons HATE clean energy. Transform and recycle!

Man builds gigantic Bumblebee Transformer in his front yard [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, who once tried switching the bodies on two of his old Transformer toys but it didn't work BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT G.I. JOE'S.

Jun 10 2009 New Futuramas Coming To Comedy Central

Sad they stopped making new Futurama episodes? Well cry no more my puffy-eyed compadre, Comedy Central just signed a deal for 26 new episodes beginning mid-2010!

When the series returns with original episodes in 2010, it will be seven years after the show's last original episode aired on Fox. That's a much longer hiatus than the three years Family Guy spent on the bench before being summoned back by Fox.

All key voice cast members are expected to return for the new episodes, along with the series' core writing team.

Nice, now I can finally reignite my love-hate relationship with Bender. Good to see you again buddy, wanna drink? What am I saying -- I'll kill you! Unless you have naked pictures of Leela, in which case, BFFs!

I'll kill you in your sleep.

Comedy Central gives Futurama new future [abc]

Thanks to Rigo, Nick, Julian and Sarah-Ashton, who have never received a package from Planet Express on time.

Jun 9 2009 Cuuute!: Hello Kitty 'Castle' Opens In Shanghai

It looks more like a house to me, but like the saying goes, "one man's house is another He-Man's Castle Grayskull". So who am I to argue? BESIDES THE BEST DAMN (MASS) DEBATER MY HIGH SCHOOL EVER SAW! Anyway, this is a Hello Kitty castle that recently opened to the feline loving public in Shanghai, China. I have no idea why, I guess it's like a museum or something. A museum of cuteness! See ladies, I can be sensitive. Even more sensitive than old people teeth. But I can still eat ice cream. I'll be at the parlor, call me.

Hit the jump to see several more of the cat ladyness.

Continue Reading " Cuuute!: Hello Kitty 'Castle' Opens In Shanghai "

May 26 2009 Not Surprised: Ninja Turtle Notoriety Charts

I can honestly say I'm surprised the numbers for renaissance artists aren't even lower. Because one time when I was substitute teaching for a class of fourth graders I asked who sculpted David and the only response was from a girl who asked if that was the one with the penis. I said yes and then they all started chanting I was gay.

Ninja Turtles [xkcd]

Thanks Andrew, who once cowabunga'ed two chicks at once in the Party Wagon.

Apr 7 2009 Now That's Fine Art: Mario Strikes Back

This is painting by Los Angeles artist Misha entitled Empire. There are two others after the jump, both of which feature some relatively not-at-all-hot slave-girl Peach action (okay, the second one did a little something). They're all available for sale if you're interested, to the tune of $1,400. Which, haha, is a little out of my range. You see, I only sing bass. And speaking of which -- all yours are belong to me!

Hit it for the others.

Continue Reading " Now That's Fine Art: Mario Strikes Back "

Nov 20 2008 WTF Is That?: Weird Super Mario Cartoon

This is part of a Super Mario cartoon. It's called Super Mario: Depression. Hit the jump to see the whole thing, I had to cut it into three pieces just to get it up. It's freaking weird. And kind of made me sad. A world with a depressed Mario is no world I want to live in.

Places to move:

outerspace
your mom's house
your house
Washington D.C.
Candyland
Mushroom Kingdom

Hit it to check the whole thing out.

Continue Reading " WTF Is That?: Weird Super Mario Cartoon "

Nov 19 2008 Hentai-fied Lamborghini Does Nothing For Me

Hirohiko Yoshida, chairman of Japanese perverted-game maker Age Soft, went and pimped out his Lamborghini and Lancia Stratos with several of the hentai girls from the games that made him rich. Itashi is a growing fad in Japan, and consists of slathering one's car in manga characters. It's not the look I'd go for, but I also don't even own a Lamborghini, so who knows?

*God does, but he's stopped taking my calls. Jesus and I are still tight though, he just can't predict the future like his old man. Isn't that right, G? Now do that wine trick in the bathtub again.

Hit it for several more Itashi-ed cars, including, and pretty much limited to: the Lancia Stratos, an Alfa Romeo, and my mom's minivan.

Continue Reading " Hentai-fied Lamborghini Does Nothing For Me "

Oct 15 2008 Old As Hell!: G.I. Joe Pork Chop Sandwiches

Video, due to language, is probably NSFW.

This video is older than the interweb itself. In fact, it was first depicted on a cave wall, drawn there by a caveman who smeared his penis in the ashes left from a fire started when lightning hit a dry tree. True story. Anyway, for those of you who haven't seen it, this is a redubbing of one of the public service announcements played after a G.I. Joe cartoon ("and knowing is half the battle!"). There's a bunch more if you like it, but this is the best one. So, with that said, let the OLDing begin!*

*By typing OLD in the comments, you forfeit your right to ever have sex again.**
**Expect in prison, against your will.

Youtube

Sep 11 2008 Super Mario Saves The Princess Cartoon

If you haven't seen or heard already, Seth MacFarlane (creator of Family Guy) is releasing a bunch of web cartoon episodes called Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Comedy. This is one of the first, and it's what happens after Mario rescues the princess in Super Mario Bros. Now not to be a soiree shitter, but I kind of expected more. I mean, Princess Peach didn't even lift her dress to reveal she's swinging a monster Hammer Brother down there. Which, admit it, would have been comedy copper, possibly silver. And hot.

Youtube

Thanks to Silver Sided and Richard, both of whom actually did bang the princess after rescuing her.

Jul 23 2008 Hitachi Releases Cartoon To Explain What A Terabyte Is To Stoners, Possibly Children

Hitachi just made a 3:00 cartoon to explain how large a terabyte is to, I guess, stoners.

As Hitachi GST embarks upon its latest educational campaign and debuts a new market vision which it encapsulates as "The Dawn of the Tera Era," the company knew the time was once again right to produce a new video animation, given how successful these have always been in the past. This amazing collision of Capacity, Content and Culture has resulted in explosive growth of the amounts and types of information people are now storing. Megabytes are long forgotten. Today, gigabytes are being replaced by terabytes, hence the Tera Era. It's happening now. This is the Tera Era.

Geez, I had no idea. It's the Tera Era already? And all along I thought it was still the Porno Period. Boy am I rosy in the cheeks. And, okay, palm.

WARNING: The song in this video can and will get stuck in your head.

Hitachi makes a cartoon to explain what a terabyte is. If you are high...now is the time to watch it. [icantseeyou]

Thanks George Clooney, and I don't care why my girlfriend says, I think you're hot.

Jun 23 2008 Custom Aqua Teen Hunger Air Force Ones

I die a little inside every day that I don't post some custom painted shoes, so rest assured that if you don't like them, at least you're not suffering as much as I am. Oh, and you see what I did with the title there? I combined Aqua Teen Hunger Force with Air Force One, a popular Nike shoe. Sure this isn't a Nike, but Aqua Teen British Knights Force sounds stupid. Wait, no it doesn't. Anyway, this is a custom painted Aqua Teen Hunger Force shoe made for someone's birthday.

Artist's Comments:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force from Adult Swim.
The left shoe for Mallery's birthday shoes.

(Kept laces off for better pictures.)

Haha, Mallery -- you only got one shoe for your birthday. Sucks to be you. Just like it sucked being me when I needed glasses and my dad only got me a monocle and an eyepatch.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force shoe [deviantart]

Thanks Karla, I had almost forgotten I looked like a piratey Mr. Peanut growing up

May 19 2008 Vegeta From Dragon Ball Untooned

Despite my penchant for getting high and watching cartoons, I've never been into the Dragon Ball franchise. Although I may go see the live-action movie if I can sneak into the theater and throw moistened gummy bears at the screen while children cry. That could be fun. So yeah, here's Vegeta from the series in untooned form. Does he look good? I have no idea, I don't even know who Vegeta is. At first I thought he was a vegetarian sandwich at the local Cajun restaurant (UPDATE: turns out that's a vegelleta). Regardless, I think we can all agree on one thing -- my widow's peak puts his to shame. Seriously, ask anyone.

Vegeta Real [deviantart]

Thanks Tytus, lets me and you get matching dragonskin suits. Then we won't just be ballin', we'll be dragonballin'.