Oct 13 2009 Something's Not Right: Google Street View Car Spots Deer Crossing Fail In Canada

That doesn't look like any deer I've ever seen. But maybe they used that picture because they want you to slow down like an elephant. Elephants, after all, are notoriously lumbering beasts. Not unlike -- wait for it, wait for it -- mammoths! I don't care if you are frozen solid, consider yourself burnt you woolly mammaries!

Google Maps (actual location)
via
Google Street View confirms Elephantitis strikes deer population in Canada [autoblog]

Thanks to fdsy, who once saw a children crossing sign with a picture of Sasquatch. Hey, some kids look like that.

Jun 14 2009 Golden: ZOMG, WTF Are Those Things?!

Impressive, but mine drag on the pavement.

Loose In DC Tonight: The Mother of All Truck Nutz [wonkette]

Thanks to Spoonman, who may or may not want to give this vehicle a physical.

May 13 2009 UPDATE: Zapatag Calls Out Bad Drivers

Zapatag is a user submitted database of bad/inconsiderate/female/rude/raging drivers' license plate numbers and their alleged infractions. I have no idea of the legality of such a system, but quite frankly, I don't care -- I think this is a great idea. Provided, of course, I never see a GK WRITR tag pop up. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk! That said, I change my mind about the GK WRITR thing -- make as many sightings as you can around the DC area talking about how handsome I am and how I can make light turns green by unbuttoning my shirt. Also, maybe mention that it looked like my truck was dragging its muffler but it turned out to be my penis. Ladies?

UPDATE: Click HERE to see all my infractions to date.

Zapatag

Thanks to The Jerk, who already has like fifty listings.

Mar 13 2009 Vroom Vroom: Pow-Pow-POWER WHEELS!

This is a video of some folks riding over-powered Power Wheels. It looks like they're having about as much fun as one can have in the snow without a Woolly Mammoth. Which, I am happy to announce, is like *this close* to being cloned. Suffice it to say SOMEBODY has been loading up on Trojan Magnums -- and I think it's you!

Over-Powered Power Wheels [liveleak]

Thanks to Julian, who drove his Power Wheels right into a telephone pole and lived to come back and cut the pole down with a chainsaw.

Mar 7 2009 Sleek Computer Case Designed By BMW

This is a prototype computer case designed by BMW and Thermaltake. It's called 'Level 10' and would get the shit stomped out of it by my 'Level 80' Paladin.

What a brilliant idea -- let's stop hiding PC components inside boxes, shine them up in stainless steel and black air-directing shrouds, and leave those innards out in the open for all to see. The concept is similar to those lofts with all the exposed piping and ventilation ductwork. It's positively postmodern.

Uh, am I the only once that noticed it doesn't look anything like a car? WTFBMW? Seriously, call me back when it has anti-lock brakes and a leather interior. Oh, and heated seats.

Level 10: the inside-out PC from an alternate dimension [dvice]

Thanks to DZ and Gingerbird, who once joyrode a BMW straight into a lake.

Feb 25 2009 Even Parking Meters Are Out To Get Us

Thought you were safe from robotic parking meters? Think again. Apparently the clever little bastards are pretending to be broken, then, once you've limped away without feeding them, auto-correct themselves and POW, parking ticket.

How is this possible? One explanation, according to DDOT, is that 74 percent of D.C.'s 15,453 meters are designed to self-correct, but are also "at the end of their useful life." So a person who parks at a meter displaying a "fail" message may return an hour later to find a working meter flashing zero time and a ticket on the windshield -- a process that may repeat several times a day.

"It was a news flash to me that we had this huge number of meters that are self-repairing," Ward 1 Councilman Jim Graham, chairman of the public works committee, said Thursday.

First of all, I think it's time for a new Ward 1 Councilman. And secondly, I live here in DC and just write BROKEN in black Sharpie across the glass of all parking meters. Law breaker or handsome vigilante -- you decide. But if you decided law breaker you should reconsider. Because -- you see this? No, down here. Yeah, the knife in my hand -- It's got your spleen's name on it. Well, it will. What's your spleen's name? Okay, now what'd I do with the Sharpie?

Parking Meters Out to Destroy the Human Race [nbcwashington]

Thanks spudtheimpaler, you in DC? We should drink beer together.

Feb 14 2009 Real-Life Warhammer 40,000 Rhino Transport

So the creaters of Warhammer went and made a real-life Space Marine Rhino replica to folks excited about the upcoming video game. And, also, to crush the hell out of some little cars. Per my tipster, Sam:

Thought you might be interested in knowing about this, as it was modified from a old WWII British tank to promote the upcoming Warhammer 40000: Dawn of War 2 game that is about a week away from being released.

Nothing really amazing if it was just a normal tank (crushing cars is still cool, but still would be nothing new) but since it was heavily modified into a working replica (mostly) of the Warhammer 40000 Space Marine Rhino transport, it's been an ecstasy trip for 40kiers like me and anyone else seeing one their favorite tabletop franchise coming to life.

Freaking sweet -- I want one. And not just because some jerk broke my passenger side mirror off without leaving a note. No, it's because I want to crush the car that did it -- driver too! With a tank. A Warhammer tank. VROOM VROOM!! This ain't no table-top game, bitch, this is real life!

Youtube

Thanks to Sam, who Wars the Hammer like nobody's biz.

Feb 13 2009 Geeky Cars: I Can't (Floppy) Drive 55!

While this little gallery of cars undoubtedly showcases some seriously geeky automobiles, I don't know if they're the geekiest. I'd like to think the Zelda-mobile and the AeroCivic would be in the running for top prize. That said, I would still never be caught dead in one of these -- unless my bookie finally finds me. In which case, can a person harvest their own organs? Are ears worth anything?

Hit the jump for the rest.

Continue Reading " Geeky Cars: I Can't (Floppy) Drive 55! "

Feb 9 2009 Invading The Real World!: Fake Parking Tickets Used To Spread Computer Viruses

Hackers operating around Grand Forks, North Dakota (not to be confused with Giant Spoons, South Dakota) have been issuing fake parking tickets in order to get their victims to download viruses from a website.

Drivers found the following message on the yellow ticket on their windscreen: "PARKING VIOLATION This vehicle is in violation of standard parking regulations".

The ticket then instructed drivers to visit a website, where drivers could "view pictures with information about your parking preferences".

Anti-virus firm McAfee says the Vundo Trojan then gets users to install a fake anti-virus scanner.

Listen folks, if you don't want to fall victim to this sort of scam, you need to do what I do: not be a senior citizen.

Parking ticket leads to a virus [bbcnews]

Thanks to Bungo, who doesn't pay parking tickets because they're just a sorry attempt by the man to keep him down.

Feb 3 2009 Dinosaurs Running Loose In Indiana

That's right folks, apparently a truckload of raptors got loose in Hamilton County, Indiana, and drivers are being unsurprisingly stupid.

"It's kind of crazy. I'm totally confused," said one motorist. "I'm kind of expecting ... dinosaurs to run down the road, or something."

Only in my dreams, stupid motorist, only in my dreams.

'Raptors Ahead' Sign Gets Stares, Chuckles [theindychannel]

Thanks to Jeff, who got my hopes up and then crushed them like Piggy under a boulder.

Jan 25 2009 Revenge For Bicyclists: Handlebar Key Plugs

Are you a bicyclist that's tired of being cut off and hit by cars? Well get a pair of these handlebar key plugs and you can at least deface the perpetrator's car in the process of getting run over.

These modified handlebar plugs speak to the disgruntled urban cyclist. By retro-fitting stock parts with up-cycled keys, bikers can now find satisfaction with close encounters. This concept puts a new twist on the timeless tradition of car-keying revenge. By Matt Braun and Jared Delorenzo.

They cost $5 for a set of two and fit snugly into regular handlebars and assholes. But in all honesty, if I catch you keying my car I can and will kill you. I'm serious -- if you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

Continue Reading " Revenge For Bicyclists: Handlebar Key Plugs "

Dec 29 2008 50-Foot Asimo To Lead Rose Bowl Parade

Honda is rocking out with their robot out January 1st at the Tournament of Roses on January 1st in Pasadena, California. That's right, a 50-foot likeness of Asimo, the harbinger of our destruction, will lead the parade along with a Honda FCX Clarity (fuel cell car). Be sure to tune in and watch the giant robotic bastard go rogue and start stomping dancers and bystanders. Which, I think we can all agree, will make for some awesome freaking television.

Hit the jump for two more pictures, including one of construction.

Continue Reading " 50-Foot Asimo To Lead Rose Bowl Parade "

Nov 26 2008 Remember: Drive Safely This Holiday Season

With the holidays rapidly approaching (read: Thanksgiving's tomorrow) there's a whole lot of traveling going on. And for those of you that will be out on the roads -- be careful. Winter weather is upon us, and so are all the crazies. So be safe, and don't drive like this. You know, like a woman. OH SNAP! Haha, now my girlfriend is kicking me in the nuts. It kind of hurts and feels good at the same time. Okay, that one just hurt. Honey, please, not the rolling pin!

Hit the jump for another one. But seriously folks, be safe, they've banned Geekologie in most hospitals.

Continue Reading " Remember: Drive Safely This Holiday Season "

Nov 19 2008 Hentai-fied Lamborghini Does Nothing For Me

Hirohiko Yoshida, chairman of Japanese perverted-game maker Age Soft, went and pimped out his Lamborghini and Lancia Stratos with several of the hentai girls from the games that made him rich. Itashi is a growing fad in Japan, and consists of slathering one's car in manga characters. It's not the look I'd go for, but I also don't even own a Lamborghini, so who knows?

*God does, but he's stopped taking my calls. Jesus and I are still tight though, he just can't predict the future like his old man. Isn't that right, G? Now do that wine trick in the bathtub again.

Hit it for several more Itashi-ed cars, including, and pretty much limited to: the Lancia Stratos, an Alfa Romeo, and my mom's minivan.

Continue Reading " Hentai-fied Lamborghini Does Nothing For Me "

Oct 23 2008 Maybe Someday: A Lamborghini Garage

I've never felt poorer in my entire life.

Youtube

Thanks to Andrew, who, along with robot apocalypse tipster Nolan, is taking turns kicking me in the nuts today.

Oct 20 2008 Hank The Comedic Robot (Should Die)

Hank is a little animatronic comedian built by Ford which runs a comedy act at the State Fair in Texas. I guess you could call him a robot, but I'm pretty sure (SPOILER ALERT: don't read if you still believe the tooth fairy is an actual fairy and not a goblin that touches you while you're sleeping) Hank just stands there waving his arms around while somebody does all his speaking for him from a hidden location. There, I ruined it. The gig is up Hank, you'll never work in this town again.

UPDATE: Now he's a Walmart greeter. I hit him with my cart!

Hank the robot has State Fair auto show crowds laughing, wondering [dallasnews]

Thanks to Ken, who promised to run into him a few times with one of those complimentary Hoverounds first chance he gets.

Oct 15 2008 Thanks Volkswagen!: Palin/Obama Lovechild

I've been getting flooded with political tips lately, and will post some of the other, more technology oriented ones in the next few days, but this a picture of Sarah Palin/Barack Obama's lovechild as created using Volkswagen's RoutanBabymaker3000 (f*** those commercials, seriously). You just upload two pictures of the parents, and presto, a kid is formed. Is this what a Palin/Obama lovechild would really look like? You be the judge. And, since we're playing court, I'll be the bailiff. I get to hold the bible! PEW PEW!

RoutanBabymaker3000

Thanks Tim, I tried making one with me and a dinosaur, but it didn't work. Racists!

Oct 9 2008 Cool!: Sound Chasers Make Music

Sound Chasers are little cars that ride on strips of vinyl records that have been cut and connected together to form a track, playing the music as they cruise along. Awesome idea, but they sound like a cacophony. Going a step further and actually making a track that produces a good beat would be have been nice. But like most things in life, you don't always get the nice. Sometimes you get the ugly. Like last night. Thankfully I realized what I was doing on the ride home and pulled a 'duck and roll' out the passenger side door. In hindsight, I probably should have told her to take the wheel and used my own door, but seriously, fight or flight. I flew. Straight into a fire hydrant. Now it hurts to breathe.

Tiny Chaser in my Hand [yankodesign]

Thanks to Karina, who, for two tips in one day, gets a free Whopper coupon.

Sep 9 2008 Production Model Photos Of The Chevy Volt

I'm sure many of you have already heard about the Volt, Chevy's stab at an electric car. In case you didn't, here's some info:

The Concept Chevy Volt, with its revolutionary E-Flex Propulsion System, will be different than any previous electric vehicle because it will use a lithium-ion battery with a variety of range-extending onboard power sources, including gas and, in some vehicles, E85 ethanol to recharge the battery while driving.

When it comes to plugging in, the Volt will be designed to use a common 110-volt household plug. For someone who drives less than 40 miles a day, Chevy Volt will use zero gasoline and produce zero emissions. For longer trips, Chevy Volt's range-extending power source kicks in to recharge the lithium-ion battery pack as required.

Pretty promising right? I thought so. And the concept design (above) was amazingly not the shittiest thing I've ever seen in my life. So what did Chevy change for the actual production model? Everything cool.

Hit the jump to see photos of the Volt that will actually hit the market for 2011, along with two creeps that had something to do with it.

POLL: If both the guys in the following pictures were dressed as Santa and your mom took you to the mall to get your picture taken with him, whose lap would you rather sit on? I'm going with Mr. Mustache.

Continue Reading " Production Model Photos Of The Chevy Volt "

Sep 9 2008 Drawing On Wheels: The Sharpie Lamborghini

We've seen all kinds of exotic cars here on Geekologie. We've seen a golden Porche, Burberry barfwagon, a wooden supercar, chrome Lamborghini, DIY Lamborghini, a knit Ferrari, and even a Maserati covered in broken glass. And now, for your viewing pleasure, a Sharpie Lamborghini. It's been around for about a year so you may have seen it already. And if so, I applaud your internetellect. You can buy me a drink at Boozefest 2008 (more details to come). Anyway, this is a Lamborghini covered in Sharpie drawings. The car was penned by Prestige Lamborghini of Miami and took two weeks to create and cover with a clear coat. So what do you think? Like it? Love it? Want to drive it off a cliff? I kind of like it, and, as a guy who's no stranger to waking up with a giant Sharpied penis on his face, I need new friends.

Hit the jump for several more pictures and the link to a high-res gallery.

Continue Reading " Drawing On Wheels: The Sharpie Lamborghini "