Mar 2 2009 Questionable Disney Star Wars Characters
Star Wars Weekends have been a huge hit at the Disney theme parks, and to celebrate the desecration of my childhood comes a limited edition of ridiculous looking Disney characters dressed as Star Wars ones. There's Don Solo in carbonite, a lanky Goofbacca, Mick Skywalker, and highly inappropriate Slave Girl Minnie.
A limited series of 600 statues of each of the figures will retail for $195 each. 500 sets will be available at Disney's Hollywood Studios, while the other 100 will be available at Disneyland. The figures will not be available until around the second week in June, so it looks like they'll appear just in time for the final weekend of Star Wars Weekends.
Wow, I know I'm just itching to get my hands on a Slave Girl Minnie. WTF? Disney, what the hell are you trying to teach our kids? Mommy, I want to be a slave -- just like Minnie! BOOM -- ten years later she's dancing the Sarlacc feeding shift on some slimeball's sail barge.
Hit the jump for a picture of the other two.
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Jan 15 2009 Star Wars Plot Retold By Girl Who Has Never Seen A Whole Film, Only 'Bits And Pieces'
This is the plot of the original Star Wars trilogy as told by some chick who has never seen them all the way through and has no idea what the f*** is going on. I highly recommend watching it. Joe Nicolosi, the maker of the film, even added some great animations to spice things up a bit. But thankfully, it's still not too spicy -- my o-ring is fragile like a vase.
Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) [vimeo]
Thanks to Matt and chris, who recite the dialog from all three movies word for word. Backwards. While juggling. Ewoks.
Jan 7 2009 Motorola's New Carbon-Neutral Cell Phone
Motorola unveiled what is believed to be the first carbon neutral (and sideways) cell phone at the 2009 Consumer Electronics Show this week. The W233 Renew Phone is made predominately out of recycled plastic bottles and Motorola hopes it will help the company bust a circuit all up in the environmentally friendly market segment.
Motorola said it was the world's first carbon neutral phone. As well as using recycled materials for the plastic casing, the company also pledged to offset the carbon dioxide used in manufacturing, distribution and operation of the phone through investments in renewable energy sources and reforestation.Motorola, which has lost market share by being slow to follow trends such as touchscreens and high-speed data links, also plans to showcase three different items at CES: a relatively large touchscreen tablet phone, a rugged phone, and a rechargeable cable TV remote control with a find feature.
Holy shit -- a rechargeable TV remote with a find feature! That's new and exciting! Seriously Motorola, I can see why you've been struggling. And who can get that excited about your recycled-plastic phone anyways -- it looks like the same piece of shit i was rocking three years ago (minus the lime green). Now a cell-phone manufactured out of used condoms, THAT would be something. Aural sex anyone?
Motorola phone made from recycled bottles [msnbc]
Thanks to ITSELF, who once had phone-sex with some chick at 411 and didn't even have to pay.
Oct 27 2008 Waves Of The Future: Internet, Buckypaper
Call me crazy, but I think this whole internet thing is really gonna take off one day. And, quite possibly, Buckypaper. It may just look like a turd wafer, but it's actually a paper-thin series of (carbon nano)tubes.
Buckypaper is 10 times lighter but potentially 500 times stronger than steel when sheets of it are stacked and pressed together to form a composite. Unlike conventional composite materials, though, it conducts electricity like copper or silicon and disperses heat like steel or brass.Buckypaper is made from tube-shaped carbon molecules 50,000 times thinner than a human hair. Due to its unique properties, it is envisioned as a wondrous new material for light, energy-efficient aircraft and automobiles, more powerful computers, improved TV screens and many other products.
Well damn, I bet ol' Buckminster is on cloud nine right now. Literally -- he died in 1983. But seriously, what good is black paper if you don't have a white pencil?
Future planes, cars may be made of 'buckypaper' [usatoday]
Thanks to The_Don, who invented Buckypaper, rock, scissors, and never loses.
Jul 24 2008 Moderately Satisfying: Jar Jar In Carbonite
Nice, but I'd still like to see more axes in his face.
Picture [pixdaus]
Thanks to MW, who noted that this is actually on display at Industrial Light & Magic near Lucas's office and may be an indication that George regrets his decision to introduce Jar Jar. Now listen George, hindsight's 20/20, but my foot's an 11½ and your a-hole is probably in the 4-6 range. Just saying, you're being watched.
Jul 23 2008 George Lucas Pulls A Han Solo In Carbonite
First we saw Han Solo in chocolate, then some jackass in carbonite, then a Han Solo in carbonite fridge and desk, and now, a George Lucas in carbonite display. It was made for some Star Wars convention in Japan and looks pretty accurate. I got to see it in person, and I've got to say, I had a thing or two to say to frozen George.
Me: Hey George, mind if I call you Lucas?
George:
Me: Good, Lucas it is.
Lucas:
Me: Listen, I have a bone to pick about the prequels you made to Star Wars.
Lucas:
Me: I didn't like them.
Lucas:
Me: I don't care how much money you made, you gotta admit you f***ed up with that whole Jar Jar thing.
Lucas:
Me: I'm here to teach you a lesson. *slips member in George's frozen hand* Quick, someone take a picture!
Lucas:
Me: *zipping up* You've been learned, now don't let it happen again.
Hit the jump for several more. Unfortunately the one with my junk got deleted off the camera.
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Feb 22 2008 Han Solo In Carbonite Executive Desk Looks So Good I Want To Sit There And Whisper Sweet Nothings Into Han's Frozen Ears
Never before has my desk at work looked like such a piece of crap. Oh em gee do I need this Han Solo Frozen in Carbonite desk in a bad, bad way. It was made by Tom Spina Designs for somebody who is much wealthier and cooler than I am. They'll make you one too if you're rich. I'm starting to save today. And by starting to save I mean taking another loan out on the house with the intention of buying one of these, but then blowing it all on strippers and booze. Awesome desk though. And remember, friends don't let friends be asshats.
One more picture after the jump.
Aug 21 2007 Ugly Man Takes Han's Place in Carbonite
In one of the saddest turn of events I have read recently, some guy managed to secure a direct casting of Han Solo in carbonite from the original prop, and then had the face sawed off and replaced with a mold of his. This is in no way, shape, or form cool at all. What was this guy thinking? You have an iconic piece of one of the best movies of all time, and you go and deface it (literally). He probably has the Holy Grail chalice from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade too, but decided it wasn't cool enough and had to glue plastic rhinestones on it and write "Pimp Juice" on the side with puffy paint.
A closeup of the world's ugliest Star Wars fan after the jump, along with the forever dreamy Harrison Ford original carbonite.
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