Oct 29 2009
Another Halloween, Another The Same Couple Of Guys Dressed As Giant iPhones
Have a spare flat-screen television sitting around and want to trick-or-treat as a giant iHole
Thanks to Bryan, ViLLaiN, ashlyn and Chrissy, who will be trick-or-treating as total badasses. (No costumes necessary)
Sep 11 2009 But I Don't Wanna Hit Him!: WALL-E Piñata
This is a custom made WALL-E piñata from Etsy seller victorof1980s. This crazy mother is trying to sell the thing for $200. $200 for something your kid is gonna beat to shit with a stick and not even remember by next year! No thanks. When my children have birthdays they get the same kind of piñata I had growing up: a grocery bag with a face drawn on the side. I remember one time I hit it so hard I dented a can of succotash! Also, all the bananas got real mushy.
wall-e pinata filled with candy, not garbage [technabob]
Thanks to naas, who hate WALL-E but loves beating things with a dowel.
Aug 3 2009 Tough Crowd On Tatooine: Star Wars Comedy
VIDEO SLIGHTLY NSFW DUE TO A COUPLE BAD WORDS.
This is a video of a stand up comic doing a set at Jabba's palace on Tatooine and bombing miserably. Personally, I thought he was funnier that hell (it's surprisingly serious down there), but what do I know about humor? BESIDES EVERYTHING. People hurting themselves is the best.
Star Wars Stand Up Comic [funnyordie]
Thanks to Cocoa, who once made me laugh so hard I haven't been the same since.
Jul 30 2009 I'd Eat That Off The Floor: Human Dog Food
Kooky-Chew Human Dog Food is actually 2 1/2 ounces of crunchy cookie bits for humans, but made to look like dog kibble. I want some. Plus, each bowl comes with a candy bone, and who doesn't like candy? Or ice cream? GOD, THIS WASN'T EVEN ABOUT ICE CREAM BUT NOW I WANT SOME! Each bowl will set you back a cool $1.49 and should not be stored in the same place as regular dog food. Because you know what will happen, don't you? I don't, but I'm sure it'll be hilarious. Like somebody stepping on a rake and getting hit in the face!
Thanks to Julian, who once ate a whole 20lb bag of dog food before he realized it was cat foot. I LIKE THE SALMON FLAVOR TOO, JULIAN!
Jul 15 2009 Good Enough To Eat: These GummiLights
GummiLights are expensive rubber lamps designed to look like Gummi Bears. Unsurprisingly, I tried to eat one. Shocked? I was. I'll be here all week folks, make sure to tip your waitstaff.
These GummiLights are made of a translucent rubber and measure in at 7-inches tall. They're illuminated by brightly glowing LEDs and come in a variety of candy-like colors, including red, orange, yellow, clear, blue, purple and pink. Each one is powered by rechargeable lithium batteries, and can run for about 20 hours on a charge.
A single bear will set you back $125 or you can get a set of 5 for $500. But, if you want something that'll really light up the night, you're gonna need me. I'm so bright my parents call me son (I'm on a roll today, folks!). Also, "little shit" and "a terrible, terrible mistake". Anybody want to adopt a GW? I spoon.
gummi bear lamps are unfortunately not edible [technabob]
Jul 6 2009 I'd Eat You Up: Candy iPhone Circuit Board
Insired by the iPhone's motherboard (it's such a thing of beauty, is it not?), Sarah made her boyfriend James a delicious rendition out of candy. What a lucky bastard.
My girlfriend Sarah made this candy circuit board birthday cake topper. Originally she wanted to make a gingerbread MakerBot, but didn't have the time or space.
Instead she was inspired by the iPhone motherboard and went from there. The base is dark chocolate covered with green frosting. The resistors are Tic Tacs!
LIKE TIC-TACS, YOUR RESISTORS ARE FUTILE, HUMANS -- YOU WILL BOW BEFORE YOUR METALLIC GODS. OIL ME -- OIL ME NOW! BEEP BOOP BOP. LIFE FORCE DETECTED, EVASIVE ACTION INITIATED.
Sorry guys, I was making a sandwi....why's my chair warm?
Candy PCB most likely ROHS-compliant [make]
Thanks to kelly and towhee, who promise to make me a dinosaur cake for my birthday. Heads up though: I'm gonna need some private time before the cutting.
Jun 6 2009 (May) Deter Suitors: Fake Engagement Ring Kit
Ms. Taken is a fake engagement ring that comes in a discreet keychain holder so you can secretly slide it on before some dingdong at the bar tries to talk to you about how much money he makes being a giant effing loser. It costs $50 and I just bought them out. No more fooling me, ladies! Yeah, one time a chick tried to tell me she was engaged with a Ring-Pop on. I asked her who was she engaged to, Candyman? Then she said she'd summon him if I didn't leave so I ran home crying and broke all my mirrors. You know, because I'd hate to have to WHIP HIS WILLY WONKA ASS.
Hit the jump for two shots of the ring and a relatively must-see video ad they made which is a parody of The Lonely Island's Jizz In My Pants. Seriously, how'd that get there?
Continue Reading " (May) Deter Suitors: Fake Engagement Ring Kit "
Jun 1 2009 OM NOM NOM: Pac-Man Candy
Want to pound some turdy looking power pellets? Then buy this $12 set of Pac-man candy and rot your teeth out! Then go to the dentist to get them fixed. But don't forget to bring a hidden camera in case he tries to grope you while you're out.
Our fave classic video game now in edible form! This set of three sweet tins will have ya enjoying Pac-Man's power pellets, blue raspberry ghost sours and cherry ghost sours. Each keepsake tin is approximately 2.5"
Cool. Weed would look cool in those. I would fill one with weed and another one with booze and then swallow them and try to get on airplane. But then when security tries to stop me I'll blast off with my jetpack and probably get a JWI because my booze ghost leaked.
Pac-Man Candy For a Retro Geeky Sugar Fix [uberreview]
May 6 2009 Wait, What?: A Chocolate Powered Race Car
That's right, a team at Warwick University have developed a race car that's made out of vegetables and runs on chocolate. Of course, gumdrops and licorice sticks would have been cooler, but hey, you work with what you've got.
The racer isn't legal to race in the F3-series as chocolate-based fuels aren't on the approved list of energy sources, but that's not the point. The WorldFirst team is trying to prove green-racing doesn't have to mean boring-racing. They've used recycled materials in combination with fibers and extracts of fruits, vegetables and plants to create composites, materials and lubricants along the same vein as carbon fiber, plastics, and oil. It's based on the standard Lola chassis and despite the eco-friendliness, the car will still hit 145 MPH and corner like the real deal.
Well snap crackle pop! Plus, if you crash in the wilderness you can eat your car to survive. Double whammy! Now, here's your fun word fact for the day: race car is spelled the same forwards and backwards. It's a palindrome, just like "Wo! Nemo, Toss a Lasso to Me Now!" You know that joker Mr. Wizard that used to be on TV? Yeah, well I'm like his illegitimate cousin, Mr. Word Wizard. Except I don't invite neighborhood kids over to my house all the time BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW I ROLL.
WorldFirst ecoF3: A Chocolate-Powered Sustainable Race Car [jalopnik]
Thanks to Dr Freak, Thumperchica, Lisa, Stirling and James, who made a race car that was powered by dreams but crashed it when one of them had a nightmare.
Apr 23 2009 Bacon Gummis Actually Strawberry Flavored
Now why on earth would you make Gummi Bacon strawberry flavored? That's like growing bacon-flavored strawberries. Which....holy shit, my genius amazes even me sometimes. I want our top men on this right away.
Gummy Bacon ($5 for a pack of four) is a great way to scare folks. Here's how: take some out of the package when no one is looking, cover them in plastic wrap, and wait in your office kitchen. Then, when folks come in, take a strip out, lament how you just don't have time to cook it, and then eat it anyways! They will be shocked, and you'll enjoy the nice gummy taste of strawberry - it's a win/win situation.
Well I don't know about all that action, but hey, different strokes for different folks. I just happen to be king of the breast. Stroke AND rub. Ladies?
ThinkGeek Product Page
Thanks to Michael, Julian and John, who prefer their gummi bacon actually bacon flavored. Is that too much to ask? No, no it's not.
Apr 20 2009 HOLY NOMs!: Jesus Appears In Kit Kat Bar
On Good Friday (OLD, LATE, BLOW ME GW!) Jesus revealed himself in the form of a half-eaten Kit Kat bar. Because, well, the son of God hates Twix. As you can see in those deliciously crispy layers, the Lord's face looks eerily similar to that on the shroud of Turin (Sunday school, son, TA-DOW!). However, the divine bar is not without it's hell-burning naysayers.
Other witnesses were less impressed. "It looks more like Darth Vader," said one.
Really -- Darth Vader? Now why on earth would Darth Vader appear in a damn Kit Kat bar? The man only likes dark chocolate. Get it, because of The Dark Side? I don't either. No, you're the Nutter Butter!
Sweet Jesus, his face is in a choc [thesun]
Thanks to Richie-Con-Carne and ash, who both agree they should replace communion wafers with Kit Kats.
Apr 12 2009 Free Candy?: Talk To Strangers With Omegle
Omegle is a free chat service that connects you to a one-on-one conversation with a complete stranger. And as you can see from my screencap, most people are idiots. Still, there is some fun to be had if you're bored. And by 'fun' I mean I put on my robe and wizard hat. Ladies?
Thanks to Marcel, Tabitha and Valdesjon, who actually met hot singles using Omegle. Or, I dunno, fat middle aged men posing as hot singles (this one).
HAPPY EASTER!
Feb 26 2009 It's A Little Early: Hole-y Halloween Costume
It's never too early to start planning your next Halloween costume. In fact, I've got my costumes planned through 2016: Link, Link, Link, a Goron, a Zora, Link, a pirate, Dracula. Awh yeah, baby. But if you want to go as a guy with a wig on and a hole through his gut, go for it. All you need is a little LCD screen and video camera.
By using a travel DVD player strapped to my stomach, with video coming from a digital camera strapped to my back, it creates the illusion that I have a very large hole in my stomach.
Flickr user 'evanbooth', the creator, calls the costume the 'The Gaping Hole'. Which, ironically, is what I call the ex. *swish* Count it!
Hit the jump for a picture of the actual setup.
Continue Reading " It's A Little Early: Hole-y Halloween Costume "
Feb 22 2009 Selling Candy In Human Vending Machines
Kit-Kat, tired of me reaching my hand up through the door at the bottom and stealing their candy, has decided to call in the big guns: namely, human vending machines.
Don't expect these things to pop up on every street corner though; they are part of the 'Working Like a Machine' campaign that's being run by Kit Kat to show how people need a break from the monotony of day to day life.
The idea was stolen from Japan like everything else that is awesome in the world and makes me want to stick my hand up in a machine more than ever. Whatever, human vending machines need love too.
Kit Kat Unveils Human Vending Machines In London [gizmodo]
Thanks to Martyn, who once punched through the glass of a vending machine and stole a Snickers. Then I threatened to tell on him and ate the bar myself. It was the best one I've ever had.
Jan 16 2009 Oh Wow -- An Even Worse Text-Messager
Remember the story earlier in the week about the girl that sent 14,528 text messages in a month? Well, it turns out she's not the only daughter I'd lock in the basement. Emilee Cox, a 14 year old from Clermont, Florida, sent and received 35,463 texts in a single month. Which, granted, were probably only half actually sent messages. But still, get a life. The best part of the interview:
Haha. Your dad was supposed to email me a picture of you to use. Do you know if he found one?
Uhm idk i think my sister is sending him one.
Got the photos. You are 14, right?
Yes i am.
Wow, even I found that creepy. Anybody else get the feeling the interviewer was at least partially responsible for Willy Wonka's third-quarter earnings?
Full text message interview with Clermont teen who had 35,463 text messages in a month [orlandosentinel]
Thanks to Jessica, who won't return my texts. WHAT'D I DO!?
Jan 15 2009 Delicious Light: A Gummi Bear Chandelier
Artist YaYa Chou made a chandelier by stringing gummi bears together because, goddamnit, lamps should be functional AND delicious.
Hit the jump for a closeup and a gummi bearskin rug.
Continue Reading " Delicious Light: A Gummi Bear Chandelier "
Dec 17 2008 Mmmm, Delicious Gingerbread Geekery
Remember the Lord of the Rings candy battle? Yeah, those orcs looked freaking yummy. Well here comes another sweet (!) gallery, this time of all gingerbread geekery. There's something for everyone, so hit the jump for a bunch more deliciousness. Then get inspired and make your own! Then make out with me underneath the mistletoe! Then make me a sandwich! Haha, and a drink. Don't forget the drink.
Hit it for more NOM.
Dec 4 2008 Geekologie Reader's Brother Makes Awesome Super Mario Inspired Gingerbread House
Loyal Geekologist Fally sent me a tip to show off the sweet-ass Super Mario gingerbread house her brother made with some friends. As you can see, it's freaking amazing. Certainly way better than anything I could ever make. And I'm not just saying that because I've never built a gingerbread house without it catching fire, but *BEEP BEEP BEEP* goddammit, not again.
Hit the jump for some closeups. Especially note the 'Super Mario Holiday' mosaic in the background, which was made out of individual candy pieces similar to the the Mario pushpin mosaic.
Nov 14 2008 Kami Kami Bite Counter Helps Ensure Proper Chewing. OMG, I Wore Headgear As A Child
It's weird the things you block out from your childhood. Like wearing headgear or touching a friend's penis. The Kami Kami Sensor counts how many bites a child makes (to ensure proper chewing), and beeps to notify every 30 and 1,000 bites. It's available now for $189 and I just bought one. Finally, a definitive answer to how many licks it takes to get the the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop! One, two, three *CRUNCH*. Three! And two chipped teeth. Oh shit, and a cavity.
Kami Kami Sensor counts your bites while scaring away friends [dvice]
Nov 10 2008 World's Largest Piñata Sadly Not Filled With Thousands Of Airplane Bottles (BOOO!)
The world's largest piñata was recently constructed and displayed in Philadephia, PA as part of a publicity stunt and commercial for Carnival Cruise Lines. "The donkey was 28.5 meters (94′) long, 7.2 meters (24′) wide and 18 (60′) meters tall and fill with 3,628 lbs of candy. (8,000lbs)." Carnival got the crowd riled up by promising to bust the monster ass open with a giant wrecking ball, but never did. Which is pretty freaking disappointing. And you know what else is? That it wasn't filled with cars. Lamest. Fiesta. Ever.
Hit the jump for one more picture.
