Nov 19 2009
Air Blower iPhone App Really Blows Air (See What I Did There? There's More To Come!)
Looking for the latest and least greatest in iPhone apps? Check out the $1 "Blower" app. It sucks blows sucks and blows is f***ing stupid.
Thanks to the new "Blower" app, iPhone owners will now be able to blow out candles with their handset. Just "switch on your app, turn the iPhone volume to the max and feel the air flowing from the speaker opening."
Unlock the new mind-blowing secret feature on your iPhone. Turn your iPhone into a real Air Blower!
Mind-blowing secret feature my ass. An x-ray camera, now THAT'S a mind-blowing secret feature. Or the ability to make calls to the dead. Phone developers, are you getting all this? Because I'm not buying another phone until I can talk to George Washington and take pictures of Martha's underwear. Just saying.
Hit the jump for a video of the app blowing out candles. WHEE, what a birthday!
Aug 12 2009 Birthday Wish: I Wish For A Real Wishosaurs
Since it's my birthday and I can do whatever I want, I'm continuing with the celebratory theme with this $7 Wishosaurus candle holder from Fred. It's a plastic molded dinosaur that can hold up to ten candles. So, for my cake, I'm gonna need three. On top of each other. KISSING. With me in the middle. Ever had a four-way with dinosaurs? Me neither. Which, OMG -- *PFFFFFFFFFFFT!*
Thanks to The Baroness, who can borrow my Wishasauruses for her birthday BUT ONLY IF I CAN COME TO THE PARTY (I'm coming to the party).
Aug 3 2009 Candle Melter Makes New Candles From Old
The Candle Quick is a glorified stove pot that melts pre-burnt candles to make new ones. Melt multiple candles together for unique smell combinations! Including, and virtually limited to: complete stinking ass! The Candle Quick costs $25 and, despite what the picture would have you believe, is best used WHILE PAYING ATTENTION. I can already hear the fire trucks from here.
Recycling candles is what this economy has brought us to [dvice]
Jun 18 2009 Boom Boom Candles Sadly Not Explosive
These candles were designed by Mystake to look dynamite and bombs. They're called notmy candles, as in "those are notmy penis tracks in the peanut butter". The bomb costs $5 and the dynamite $7, but you can get them both for $11 and save a Lincoln. I mean Washington. Or do I? I don't know anymore.
bomb and dynamite candles are a real blast [technabob]
Jan 23 2009 Mmmm, Sacky: A Delectable Sack Boy Cake
I remember being super freaking excited about the release of Little Big Planet, but I ended up never buying it because I made my own Sack Boy out of a potpourri sachet and he's about as much fun and odoriferous as I can stand. Well Geekologie reader Kelli made her own Sack Boy as well -- in cake form!
I made the cake for my friend Marchelo's birthday dinner last night, and everyone loved it! It was a basic lemon pudding cake with chocolate fudge frosting, all in all 2.5 cakes and 3 cans of frosting went into this creation!
Now I know what you're thinking, "my God, I want to gobble that sack", and believe me -- I'm right there with you.
Hit the jump for a bunch more, including some of the build, along with a link to a larger gallery.
Continue Reading " Mmmm, Sacky: A Delectable Sack Boy Cake "
Oct 20 2008 'Tis The Season (For Geeky Pumpkins)
Well folks, it's that time of the year again. Time to break out the costume and hit the bars looking for a chick that wants to have sex with a ninja turtle. Surprisingly there aren't very many. But what better way to get into the spirit of Halloween than some geeky pumpkinry? I can't think of any. Although, truthfully, I can barely think at all. I drank my weight in gin and tonic this weekend, and I hate gin. I may be a masochist, I dunno. Quick, somebody ball me!
Hit the jump for the rest of the gallery, which includes more Star Wars and Mario action than you could smash a pumpkin at. Oh shit, and a Transformer.
Jun 2 2008 GENIUS: A Candle That Smells Like Strippers
Sometimes there's a candle that comes along and changes the way I look at wax-fueled flames forever. And this is one -- The Hotwicks Stripper Candle. The $9 candle smells like strippers.
It's a candle and an alibi all in one! You don't smell like a stripper, you just smell like a candle.
This is our favorite candle. After hundreds of hours of research and a lot of dollar bills we succeeded in capturing the legendary stripper scent. If you don't know what a stripper smells like just imagine the perfume counter at your local department store times a thousand... then add some glitter. This is a perfect gift for your favorite bachelor, groomsmen, or retired stripper who misses her pole.
OMGWTFNOMORESLEEPINGINTHEDOGHOUSEFORTHEGEEKOLOGIEWRITER! Wow, I really need to shake the hands of the humanitarians that spent those countless hours researching this breakthrough in scent technology. Good people. Now when I come home and the wife accuses me of stripclubbing, I'll insist it's just the candle. But if she asks why I have a pastie stuck to my forehead I'll have to run and hide in the bathroom.
Another picture of the candle after the jump.
Continue Reading " GENIUS: A Candle That Smells Like Strippers "
Mar 7 2008 World's Largest Air Vortex Cannon Blows Out Birthday Candles From 180 Feet
Erbert and Gerbert, the delicious sandwich making company, decided to celebrate their 20th birthday in the most traditional way possible -- by building the world's largest air vortex cannon to blow out birthday candles from 180 feet. They even use a smoke machine in conjunction with the cannon so you can see the awesome rings as they travel. Certainly seems way cooler than the way I spent my last birthday. I thought everyone had forgotten about it, and so I went out the bars and got tyrannosaurus wrecked by myself. But when I came home all my friends and family where there! Awesome right? Wrong. It was an intervention.
Worthwhile video of the cannon in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " World's Largest Air Vortex Cannon Blows Out Birthday Candles From 180 Feet "
Feb 4 2008 Homemade Flashlight Is Relatively Bright
Optics engineer Ralf Ottow built himself a flashlight. But not just any flashlight -- he built a 38-million-candlepower flashlight with a plasma mercury arc bulb. He calls it the Maxablaster. I call it bright as shit.
The Maxablaster creates a highly focused beam of light with a high UV content not so different from a star. So UV-filtering glass was added to block the potentially harmful rays—though evidently this thing is still plenty bright enough to burn skin, as it has Ottow's on at least one occasion.
Sweet. And I thought last week's Wicked Torch was something. I'm going to make one and use it instead of candles for my mother-in-law's birthday cake. I'm not totally sure how old she is, but 38-million sounds close enough. True story, she used to date Methuselah's older brother.
Maxablaster Flashlight Burns Skin, Clouds, Vampires [gizmodo]
