Nov 12 2009 I'd Eat Them Both!: Pac-Man Can Art

Ever wonder what Pac-Man eating a ghost would look like constructed out of a shitload of tuna cans? Well now you do. The internet: it's magic, folks. These shots were taken at Canstruction, an annual food-and-drink can stacking event that I can't even believe exists. If there's a damn Canstruction you can bet your bottom diaper there should be a Geekologie-con. Somebody get on that. Somebody, anybody. Not me. And bring snacks booze. Wait, snacks too. Oh, AND YOU BETTER HAVE GOOD ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS. Kidding, anybody will do.

Hit the jump for two more.

Continue Reading " I'd Eat Them Both!: Pac-Man Can Art "

Nov 6 2009 Holy Smoking Cans: 5,000 Volt Can Crusher

Bob David went and built himself a 5,000 volt can crusher just because he could. That's what I love about people: they do things for no reason. Also, some of them smell good. But don't let 'em catch you sniffing! If you care how Bob built the thing you can watch the first two minutes, but you look ADD-y, so skip to 2:15 for the action. Cool, huh? Now, let's snort some Adderall.

Say hello to the 5,000 volt can crusher [dvice]

Oct 26 2009 What In The...?: Vampire Mouth In A Can

This vampire mouth in a can is actually a male sex toy. It's the completely inappropriate $45 Fleshlight Sex in a Can 'Succu Dry'. Not even kidding, no matter how badly I wish I was. Now I don't really want to go into too many details, but those fangs aren't even functional. Oh, hold on, I'm getting an email.

----- Original Message -----

From: bloodlover3962@hotmail.com
To: The Geekologie Writer
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 3:21 PM
Subject: Geekologie Tip - Male Sex Toy

Geekologie Writer,

Instead of selling guys on that vampire mouth in can, could you just pass my # along? Thanks champ, love the site.

Edward Cullen

I knew it! Sorry you had to find out this way, ladies.

Have a Happier Halloween with the Fleshlight Succu Dry [gizmodo]

Thanks to Aisha, Closet Nerd, smith, Gable and Root Beer, who don't buy sexy toys, they buy sex tools. I don't even know what that means, but I think it involves at least a 2-stroke motor.

Oct 14 2009 Bottle Tops: Because Cans Can Be Tricky

Bottle Tops are plastic lids that snap onto aluminum cans. You know, because you're too special needs to drink out of a can without spilling. Jesus, ask your mom for a sippy-cup already. However, if you absolutely must, a 12-pack of different colors will set you back $10. But be warned!

But seriously the tops of canned drinks can be really dirty; one commenter on Boing Boing Gadgets agrees with me and gives the thumbs down to the Bottle Tops as well. But the others say that it's perfect for beer for a couple of reasons - one, because it keeps the carbon dioxide from escaping, so you don't have to worry about not being able to empty huge cans of booze, and two, because if you cover the can itself the bottle top makes it look like you're drinking an energy drink.

No. But you know what IS perfect for beer? My mouth. Which, MEDICAL FACT: is also perfect for burritos!

Hit the jump for the terrible tv commercial.

Continue Reading " Bottle Tops: Because Cans Can Be Tricky "

Oct 12 2009 Sad: Donkey Kong Reduced To Selling Soda

Seen here unsuccessfully threatening a blurry old man with the 1-2 punch that used to make Mario shit his pants and cry, Donkey Kong, the once fearful gorilla, has been reduced to hocking root beer at local grocery stores. It's a sad day. Also, those arms look a little precarious. I'm definitely gonna stand under one and have a friend push a bunch of cases onto my head. Then, provided I don't get all brain damaged, sue the grocery store. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?! Cleanup in aisle six.

Donkey Kong Soda Display [pixelatedgeek]

Thanks to Jessica, who once laughed so hard she shot root beer out her nose when a friend was telling a joke. It stung. Like a bee, but different.

Sep 24 2009 Geometric Cans Look Cool, Prevent Rolling

Conceptualized by Dzmitry Samal, these new Coca-Cola cans would be manufactured using impact extrusion and not roll off the counter should one fall over. But I've got news for you: if you knock a Coke can over you've got bigger problems than whether it's rolling. Namely, you're losing valuable mixer. You see, I'm an alcoholic. I kid, I kid -- I don't use mixers.

Redesigned Coke Can Won't Roll Off the Table [gizmodo]

Sep 2 2009 Tactical Canned Bacon Has 10-Year Shelf Life

Sure we've seen canned bacon before, but I don't want to seem I give preferential treatment to one pig's belly over another, so here's Tac Bac! Like its competitor, this bacon is good for TEN FREAKIN' YEARS. Buy now and you can eat the very same can in 2019 while huddled in your basement praying the robots' heat sensors can't reach you down there. Each tactical can will set you back $16 and contains approximately 54 strips of fatty pig. Definitely not the cheapest thing to survive on, but it's worlds better than ten year old Ho-Hos and Ding Dongs, which, I don't care if they're the last things on earth, are still illegal.

ThinkGeek

Thanks to MDGrein, JFreezy, stereotypical, Harsh, Cpt. Awesome, Ste, Hammer, Dave, LucidSteel, Bryan, shogunu, and anyone I may have missed, you are all welcome to take shelter in my robot-proof lair, but only because I love sausage fests.

Aug 27 2009 Sure He's Happy?: Enterprise Dog Costume

This is a custom canine USS Enterprise costume made out of cardboard and Bud Light cans. And I have to admit, Bud Light was a smart choice because of its superior drinkability. I'm serious, those things are so drinkable one time I guzzled a whole cooler full of them. There must have been at least 20. This was like an hour ago. Then I started cutting up this box and....holy shit that's my dog!

This dog goes where no dog has gone before [scifiwire]

Thanks to FDSY who made a Millennium Falcon costume for his cat but the cat ran away.

Aug 8 2009 Light Graffiti: The LED Spraypaint Can

Halo is an LED spraypaint can by French designer Aissa Logerot. Basically, instead of spraying paint (which, kids, you shouldn't huff), it has an LED that sprays light!

the LED light can change colors and brightness on the fly and while it's powered by an internal battery that can be charged by shaking of the can.

"Graffiti artists can conserve their own gesture they have with an aerosol spray. It is possible to change the color and the brightness of the led to change the graffiti's styles. If the light doesn't have enough battery, the user must shake it to have energy again."

Sure you could do the same thing with any LED, but I like the can form factor. Plus, I like shaking things. So, what should I spray first? I'm leaning towards A WAY TO YOUR HEART. Then, once you're mine, a dinosaur eating an airplane.

halo - LED Spray Paint [likecool]

Thanks to naas, who once sprayedpainted the side of an entire building with urine.

Jul 10 2009 Blew Out My Flip Flop, Stepped On A Pop Top, Decided To Make A Dragon

This is a dragon made entirely out of pop-tops. NOT POP-TARTS. Soda can pull tabs or whatever you want to call them. Pretty impressive, no? It think it would look great in the curio cabinet next to my novelty shot glass and improvised bong collections.

Banzaaaai!! Another little crazy stuff! I finally finished this dragon sculpture. It took me forever. I used pop tabs all the way from the tip of nose to the tip of tail except for whisker. I wanted to count it but again it'll take me forever to count lol. I glued them together with ordinary epoxy or cold-weld compound type of epoxy. this guy's about 14 inches long and 8 inches tall. By the way i want this to be called 神魂龍　(shinkonryuu) which inhabits the spirit of a person, where they obtain the necessary energy to live. When a person dies they move to a new spirit.

Now I hate to get all metaphysical on you, but is there any way to re-up on shinkonryuu life energy? I'm feeling pretty drained and the tiger penis tea did not work. HELP, NEED MORE DRAGON JUICE PRONTO.

Hit the jump for a collage and a link to the high-res version.

Continue Reading " Blew Out My Flip Flop, Stepped On A Pop Top, Decided To Make A Dragon "

Jun 22 2009 Go Plates: Stacking Food On Your Beer

Go Plates are reusable party plates (not to be confused with party hats) that sit on top of your beer can, bottle or plastic cup, allowing you a free hand for playing grab-ass with all your friends or whatever it is people do at parties (I've never been to one). A pack of 42 will set you back $48.50, which isn't too bad considering their reusable (read: I'll lay them all out on the floor and let the dog lick them before putting them back in the cabinet). Party at my house!

Product Site

Thanks to Gino, who once choked on a hors d'œuvre and had to be given mouth to mouth by a very sexy lady.

Mar 26 2009 The Saddest 'Bottomless Beer' I've Ever Seen

The 'Endless Beer' keychain is a little keychain that gives sad alcoholics everywhere the sensation of opening the same empty beer can over and over. Because honestly, what's more fun than disappointment (besides getting hit in the nuts by the space shuttle)? Available in June, the fun-filled devices will run about $9. And, for as much shit as I talk, I'm totally buying one.

Endless Beer Can Popping Keychain! [rinkya]

Mar 25 2009 Canned Bacon: Perfect For Stocking Your Robot/Zombie Shelter. Also, Snacking

Canned bacon. Undoubtedly the best course of The Last Supper, Yoder brand canned bacon can now be yours. Plus, it comes in sweet-ass camo cans. Hey, where'd my bacon go?!?

For the first time in almost 20 years, canned bacon is back in this Country. Not available in any store!

More than 2 years went into the development of this bacon, and we're proud to be able to bring this back to you after improving on a what was a very successful brand of canned bacon made years ago by Celebrity Foods (registered Trademark, all rights reserved).

Each can is 9 ounces of fully cooked and drained bacon. Between 2-3/4 and 3-1/4 pounds of raw bacon go into each can. Each can is the highest quality fresh #1 bacon slices. Cured to our specifications, cooked and then hand wrapped, rolled and packed in the U.S.

My God that sounds delicious. A single can will set you back $12, but that's not really bad considering it's 3 pounds of cooked bacon and will stay fresh for over 10 years. You know -- this might very well be the most delicious thing to ever come in a can. Well, besides this. Here, open it. *POW POW!* Haha, that was Geekologie brand Whoop Ass, bitch!

Hit the jump for a photo-uncanning.

Continue Reading " Canned Bacon: Perfect For Stocking Your Robot/Zombie Shelter. Also, Snacking "

Jan 3 2009 Questionable: Fridge Door Can Caddies

What the hell is a Fridge Door Can Caddy? It's a piece of molded plastic that holds four cans vertically in the refrigerator door so you can save space. And, as an added bonus, it comes with a handle so you can grab your brew and run should the cops come to raid your meth lab (I'm on to you!). $10 gets you a set of two. Also, $10 to anyone who can explain why there's a 3:1 soda to beer ratio in the picture. Who the hell only takes one beer somewhere? Well, except the shower.

Beer Can Door Caddy Might Just Save the Environment From Beer Fridges [uberreview]

Dec 31 2008 I Like Cold Beverages: The Cooper Chiller

The $60 Cooper Cooler Rapid Beverage Chiller chills a beer down to 43 °F in sixty seconds. So, at the moderate drinking rate of one beer per 45 seconds, you only have 15 seconds of down time until the next beer is ready. Not too shabby. You just fill the P.O.S. with ice and water, and presto: it rotates your can, all the while hosing the aluminum bastard down with cold water. Of course, if you're looking for something a little more powerful -- something that can cool a beer instantly -- I've got two words for you: witch titties.

One Minute Drink Chiller Works Better Than A Fire Extinguisher [ohgizmo]

Aug 15 2008 Fire Beer, Not Bullets: The Beerdolier

Last week it was the Beer Belt, and now this week, the Beerdolier. Oh hell yes! The $15 Beerdolier holds six cans of sweet beer AND keeps them cold thanks to its unpatented koozie technology. These things are freaking awesome! Can you imagine a world in which a war (World War Brew) is fought with beer instead of bullets? I can, it's called Utopia, and I just drank all the ammo. Oh, time for a munitions dump.

The Beerdolier: Drink Like a Commando [gizmodo]

Jun 25 2008 Oh Boy!: Spray On Prophylactic Coming Soon

We've all been there before: You finally bring a girl home from the bar, get her to the bedroom, and you're rounding 3rd base and trying to come home when...shit, out of condoms. So you grab a snack-sized Doritos bag off the nightstand, but before you can secure the thing to your member with a piece of electrical tape, the chick dives out a window.

Enter German inventor Jan Vinzenz Krause. Jan got super drunk at a party once and forgot to take his shoes off before passing out. He woke up with a huge penis drawn on his face and a crotchful of silly string. Putting two and two together, Jan soon invented spray-on latex condoms.

The spray-on condom prototype measures a man's size (really big, big, average, small, really small) and then covers his penis in liquid latex providing him with a proper fitting condom. A man places his penis in a chamber. He then presses a button and a pump squirts out liquid latex through some nozzles onto the man's penis in about 20 seconds. If 20 seconds seems like a long time to wait the good news is that the inventor is working on shortening the time to about 10 seconds.

Uh, Jan? 10 seconds is a long time and The Geekologie Writer isn't exactly known for his stamina. What he is known for is once trying to slow himself down by using an empty shampoo bottle for a condom. Now I'm "that Pert Plus guy".

Hit the jump for the uncensored picture and a video demonstration.

Continue Reading " Oh Boy!: Spray On Prophylactic Coming Soon "

Jun 13 2008 Guy Scores Himself A DWI On Cooler Scooter

Well folks, they finally got me. After months of (relatively) incident free cooler scooting around town, I finally scored my first DWI while doing 13 MPH down the sidewalk.

Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr, 57, was charged with driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle after the police saw him swerving on the street and driving on the sidewalk in his "Cruzin Cooler," Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle told the Post Star newspaper.

Marr's electric-powered cooler was filled with 14 beers and has room for 24 cans and ice, Fox News reported.

These jackasses have the story all wrong. First off, my name is Leslie J. "Mad Bomber" Marr, and secondly, there were only 12 beers left because I slammed two before the cop got out of his car.

Under New York state law, driving any motorized vehicle must be done without alcohol, including motorized coolers. In various states, other modes of transportation in which driving is prohibited while intoxicated include lawnmowers, boats, bicycles, golf carts, wheelchairs and horses.

Wow, no drunk wheelchairing, huh? Why don't we just go the extra mile and make being handicapped illegal too?

Man Gets DWI After Riding Motorized Cooler [wgal]

Thanks Jacob, now everyone's gonna make fun of me

Jun 3 2008 Once You Pop, You'll Wish You Hadn't: Iconic Pringles Can Designer Buried In Pringles Can

Fredric J. Baur was responsible for designing the Pringles potato crisp packaging system commonly referred to by non-jargonists as the Pringles can. But alas, Baur's expiration date passed in May and he requested his family bury a portion of his ashes in one of the cans he was so proud of. He was 89. Still no word if he specifically asked for a Sour Cream & Onion can, but I think we can all agree that's the best flavor.

R.I.P. Fredric Baur, I hope you're riding that great hyperbolic paraboloid saddle shaped chip in the sky

Pringles Can Inventor Buried In Pringles Can [huffingtonpost]

Thanks Justin, let's pop and not stop in Fredric's honor

May 21 2008 Why Didn't I Think Of That?: Resealable Can

Sometimes an invention comes along that is so simple, awesome, and bound to change the world of canned drinking so drastically that you just have to stop and ponder, "Why didn't I think of that?" Well this isn't one of those, but it is can related. Introducing the Resealable Can by Ukranian inventor Johan De Broyer!

You pop the top as usual with this design, and then when you want to re-seal it, you turn the pop top tab and it completely closes up the can again, good as new. The inventor says his invention can create a completely gas-tight and liquid-tight seal. An added incentive toward this idea's adoption is a space on the resealed top for advertising.

Now I know what you're thinking, "I'm a big boy, I can drink a whole can of beer/soda, so why would I ever need to reseal one?" Two words: Because you just peed in it.

Resealable soda can offers room for advertising [dvice]