Nov 17 2009 Some Superhero You Are!: Spiderman Busted

Well folks, this just goes to show you can only dangle from rooftops staring into women's bedroom windows for so long before the boys in blue take notice. For shame, Spidey, for shame. And, on a completely and totally unrelated note that has absolutely nothing to do with this story: I have a used repelling harness for sale.

Spiderman getting arrested [jonahray]

Jul 20 2009 Found Her!: Carmen Sandiego Spotted In Wild

I swear this is old, but honestly, that's never stopped me from posting anything in the past, so why stop now? I'M RUNNING THIS RED LIGHT! Anyway, the law finally caught up with Carmen Sandiego at an undisclosed airport. And as you can see, she hasn't aged as well as I was hoping. Remember when Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? first came out and your friend convinced you if you beat the game 200 times you got to see her naked? Yeah, I know all my world capitals.

Carmen Sandiego Has Been Found! [geekstir]

Thanks to Joemo, who once found a Carmen Sandiego shaped barbecue chip but accidentally broke it before he could sell it on eBay.

Jul 15 2009 It's Aliiiive!: Zombie SNES Mod Still Functional

French modder skadrums71 went and busted up a Super Nintendo and modded it Frankenstein style into an undead console. Amazingly, it still works. Per my tipster's translation:

Of course it works! it would have been non-sense to mod it!! we can plug in and out the cartridge without any difficulties!! the power button can be moved without difficulties... nevertheless, the eject button is blocked (it was already blocked before the mod process and the reset button is doomed (just for fun)

Well that ain't bad! Of course, I don't know how I'd feel about having another cartridge eating zombie running around the house. I'm looking at you, zombie dog. Damnit, you're slobbering through your neck again.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots, some with the lights off for full effect.

Continue Reading " It's Aliiiive!: Zombie SNES Mod Still Functional "

Apr 17 2009 Pirate Bay Founders Sentenced To A Year

That's right folks, the four men (Peter Sunde, Gottfrid Svartholm Warg, Fredrik Neij and Carl Lundstrom) most intimately linked to The Pirate Bay, a torrent-tracking portal I know absolutely nothing about and have never visited except to take this screenshot, have been found guilty of breaching copyright laws and have been ordered to pay around $3.6 million and each serve a year in the slammer.

The group that controls The Pirate Bay, launched in 2003, says that no copyrighted material is stored on its servers and no exchange of files actually takes place there so it cannot be held responsible for what material is being exchanged.

The prosecution said that by financing, programing and administering the site, the four men promoted the infringement of property rights by the site's users.

Lundstrom's attorney Per Samuelson told journalists he was shocked by the verdict and the severity of the sentence.

"That's outrageous, in my point of view. Of course we will appeal," he said. "This is the first word, not the last. The last word will be ours."

I don't know much, but I do know I wouldn't want to spend a year in Swedish pound you in the ass jail, because that would involve a whole different kind of pirating (read: butt). Also, $3.6 million in fines? I've probably downloaded that much material myself. Sounds reasonable.

Pirate Bay fileshare four jailed for a year [yahoonews]

Thanks to Joshua, Robert, E of R, Sean and Richard, who don't even know what a torrent is. Isn't that right, guys? *wink*

Apr 10 2009 Mmmm, Brain-y: A Darth Vader Coffee Mug

I'm sure this isn't the first Darth Vader coffee mug, but it is the first I've seen with a removable cap that keeps your morning cocktail hidden from the prying eyes and noses of non-alcoholic coworkers.

Let Darth Vader watch over your coffee as you drink deeply from the dark side with the Dark Lord of the Sith! This attractive (and oh-so-shiny) black ceramic mug holds 24-ounces of your favorite beverage, but what's really special is that it features a removable helmet that keeps your drink from getting cold too quickly. Vader will use the Force to guard and keep it at the proper temperature.

The mug costs $17 and could only be cooler if it had a misshapen ceramic head inside that was slowly revealed as you drink your morning apéritif. And speaking of which -- I think the secretary is on to me. God, mind your own business, sugartits!

Product Site

Thanks to Don Chi Chi's, who once drank jungle juice out of Vader's real helmet at a party and then threw up.

Apr 7 2009 Man Finds Card Number Skimmer Attached To ATM, Removes, Takes Pictures, Internets

A man, Dan we'll call him, because that's his name (or is it? Allegedly it is), visited a Washington Mutual ATM to get some money. Pretty normal story so far, right? Did I mention he was wearing a dinosaur costume? He wasn't -- but you're right, that would have added a sexy twist. Well, when Danald was about to stick his junk in the machine, he noticed something fishy -- the junk receptacle just didn't feel right. So he ripped it off and, HIYO, a card skimmer! For those of you not in on the government conspiracy, skimmers are used to steal your credit card numbers and join adult websites. *ahem* So I've heard. Seriously though, I don't need technology to score women's numbers. Here, watch me work my magic on this chick.

Hey good lookin', what's your name? Oooh, Jenny, I like that. I'm Dick Dragon. I write Geekologie -- maybe you've heard of it? G-E-E-K-O-L-O-G-I-E. It's a website. Just Myspace, huh? Well listen -- you wanna come back to my place later and play strip Risk? No? Well how about you write your number down on this bar napkin anyways. Whoa, you actually did. 867-5309, I'll be calling you later. *wink*

A Man Finds an Actual Card Skimmer in the Wild, in the Flesh [gizmodo]

Feb 16 2009 Microsoft: Reward For Finding Worm's Origin

And in other Microsoft news, the company is offering up a bounty of $250,000 for any information that leads to the arrest of the authors of a recent computer worm that provides hackers an easy route to identity fraud and theft.

It's not the first time Microsoft has offered a reward for information leading to the capture of a cybercriminal. In November 2003, it slapped a $500,000 bounty on the authors of the Blaster and Sobig worms, and in May 2004, it paid $250,000 to a group of informants who enabled the prosecution of Sven Jaschan, the German teenage creator of the Sasser and Netsky viruses.

"The big question is whether the Conficker bounty is big enough," said Cluley. "$250,000 may have been enough to identify Sven Jaschan, a German teenager infecting computers for kicks. "But is it going to be enough to encourage someone to inform on an organised criminal gang, making large amounts of money out of malware?"

Okay, so what the hell's a worm? Is it anything like a trojan? Because I've got a whole shoebox full of those under my bed. Magnums, ladies, magnums.

Conficker virus: Microsoft offers reward for tracking down author of worm [telegraph]

Thanks to Cap'n Jack, who only fits in desert eagles.

Jan 29 2009 Swiss Pot Farmers Busted Via Google Earth

Swiss police happened upon a 'marijuana plantation' while viewing parts of the countryside via Google Earth. 16 people have been arrested, and 1.2 tons of marijuana and $780,000 in cash and valuables confiscated.

The plantation, measuring almost two acres, was hidden inside a field of corn. But officers using Google Earth to locate the address of two farmers suspected of involvement in the drug operation quickly spotted the illegal crop.

The gang is alleged to have sold up to7.7 US tons of hashish and marijuana between 2004 and 2008, with an annual turnover of 3-10 million francs a year, officials said.

Damnit Switzerland, whatever happened to being neutral? I mean, it was just a little chronic. Okay, probably schwag. Whichever the case, I'm still boycotting your knives.

Police Google farmers, find marijuana field [msnbc]

Thanks to chad, the man, not the country.

Nov 6 2008 Fail: Drunk "Businessmen" Break Horse Statue

Police in Saratoga Springs, NY are looking for the asshats in this video for breaking that poor fiberglass horse after repeatedly trying to mount it in their drunken stupor. There were three people involved, two males and a female (obviously a lady of the night).

Catone said police officials are tracking down the hosts of two functions held Saturday night at the Saratoga Springs City Center. The three people in the video are "very well dressed, and look like they just came from a party," Catone said.

The vandals, two men and a woman in their late 20s to early 30s, are seen walking south on Broadway in front of the real estate office when the two men attempt to mount the artwork as the woman snaps pictures.

Wow. If I could count the number of times I've done stupid shit like this, well, I wouldn't be such a drunk.

Spa police searching for horse vandals [timesunion]

Longer, uncut video here and here.

Thanks to Julian, who once tried to escape a crowd of pursuing women on one of those coin-operated horse rides. He didn't make it far.

Sep 5 2008 Guy Ghetto Rigs License Plate Flipper

Orlando Payano is a Queens truck driver that doesn't like paying tolls. So what did he do? Simple, he jerry-rigged a license plate flipper.

Apparently, Orlando Payano mounted his license plate on a hinged piece of metal then ran an attached cable through his cigarette lighter. When he went through a toll booth, all he had to do is pull the cord and abracadabra! No license plate caught on camera.

Everything was going smoothly until a Port Authority officer spotted Payano's disappearing plate in action. Orlando has denied the existence of the cable system and insists he pays tolls with an EZ-Pass tag. Good luck arguing that to the judge, Orlando. Tip: Now's the time to start working out and/or juicing, lest you find yourself in the slammer with your own EZ-Pass tag -- on that ass.

Ghetto Disappearing License Plate Hack Rigged to Avoid Tolls [gizmodo]

Sep 4 2008 37 Prisoners Caught Hiding Cell Phones In Their Bodies, 7 Require Surgery To Retrieve

In a story that harks back to Captain Sneakapeak and the case of the missing cameraphone, comes this story. 37 Pakistani prisoners at Camp Jail were found to be hiding cell phones in their bodies. All but seven were easily removed. The seven that didn't come out so easily were all smart phones. Those required surgery. Read: removal of the asshole. Just kidding, I don't know what they did. What I do know is I'm starting to get worried why my Bluetooth headset and charger haven't passed yet.

7 Prisoners undergo surgery to remove mobile phones from their butts [newlaunches]

Thanks to Silver Sided, who knows a guy who once snuck an entire phonebooth into jail.

Jul 1 2008 Valve Hacker Blows $20 Million With Stolen Credit Cards, Is Not The Brightest Criminal

A 20-year old hacker that goes by MaddoxX (not the best page in the universe guy) busted up in a third party Valve server and stole the credit card info of Steam Cyber Cafe users. Then he proceeded to "burn 13 million Euros playing poker online and shopping for notebooks, flat screens and MP3 players". Holy crap, this kid is either the worst poker player in the world or painted the walls of his apartment with flatscreens. And still, that'd have to be a huge freaking apartment. But then MaddoxX got real stupid about the whole thing and boasted about the hack in April of 2007 and posting a bunch of stuff about the feat, that led to his recent arrest.

MaddoxX then posted an archived file that included unverified credit card numbers, transaction amounts, Valve's supposed bank balance, and data that reportedly allowed the creation of counterfeit cyber cafe certificates.

In addition to the Valve caper, MaddoxX is being charged with hacking his way into an Activision server and subsequently downloading an unfinished version of Enemy Territory: Quake Wars. MaddoxX also stole 50,000 credit card numbers from an English ticketing website.

You just had to have that Quake Wars before everybody else, didn't you MaddoxX? Tssk, tssk. Seriously though, stealing from other gamers? That's just wrong. Robin Hood, MaddoxX, Robin Hood. It's "steal from the rich and give to the poor", not, "steal from the gamer and give to the Amazon". You greedy bastard.

Valve Hacker Caught by Dutch Police [shacknews]

Thanks Peter, now lets take turn sucker punching this guy in the nads.

Jun 26 2008 Brothel On Wheels Gets Busted, I Weep

Well folks, in an attempt to take away our Eighth Amendment right (the right to pay for and receive sexual acts in the back of a moving vehicle) the FBI busted what they're calling a "brothel-on-wheels" in Miami.

Miami Beach undercover detectives who paid a $40 entry fee and boarded a stretch limousine bus Sunday found women onboard offering oral sex and lap dances for money, authorities said.

Authorities arrested Christine Morteh, 29, of Miramar, and the driver, Clyde Scott, along with four other people Sunday. Miami-Dade jail spokeswoman Janell Hall said Morteh faces charges including offering to commit or engage in prostitution, conducting business without a license, directing another to a place of prostitution and deriving support from prostitution.

Whoa, whoa, whoa -- those sound like some pretty serious charges. Completely inappropriate. I was thinking more along the lines of a gas card and handicapped parking sticker.

Cops bust alleged brothel-on-wheels in Miami [cnn]

Thanks Romeo, but I kind of wish you had notified me about this service earlier.

Apr 4 2008 Busted: Boy Charged For Camera Taser

Remember the disposable camera taser from a month ago? Well it turns out a kid got busted after making one and bringing it to school. Shocking (!), I know. He claims to have gotten the instructions on the interwebs (but not from me, I just linked to the DIY page). The boy was charged with possession of a weapon at school, attempted assault and breach of peace. Way to go dipshit! To his defense though, we all did the same thing when we were that age. At least I did. One time in homeroom I told the inbred yokel sitting next to me jam a clothes pin into an electric socket and it would spark. She didn't believe me. I warned her though: only hold the wooden part, don't touch the metal. It was awesome. There was a big blue spark the size of a basketball, then the electronic clock in the room went out, along with the air pump in the fish tank. She was sent to the office. Next period I had to run the mile in PE, and when I was coming in (after about six minutes), there was the principal waiting for me at the finish line. I puked on his shoes.

Teen Booked In Modification Of Camera Into 'Taser' [wcbstv]

Thanks to Mike, who doesn't need a stupid camera taser because women already find him electrifying, for the tip