Oct 31 2009 Guy Needs 1M Facebook Fans And Girlfriend Will Let Him Turn House Into A Pirate Ship
First of all, the only Facebook group you really need to join is Geekologie's (and NOT The Superficial's). But if you're into joining every group possible you can join this guy's, whose girlfriend has agreed to let him pirate-theme their house if he gets 1,000,000 fans.
I've always wanted to be a pirate, and the onlyway I can truely do this is to live aboard a pirate ship, as I am tied into a house and a mortgage with this house, and I dont live anywhere near the sea, the only thing I can do is to turn my house into a massive pirate ship.
I already have enough money to buy some wooden slats from B&Q, I just need to get my girlfriend to agree to remortgage the house so that I can afford decking, and masts, and eventually sails.If 1 million people joined this group it would help her understand that this isnt such a bad idea, and lots of people would do it as well, and it would help my dream come true.
If you can leave a piratty message on the wall, it would also help.
I was going to join but then I saw dude already has 988,756 fans, so he's practically there. And by 'there' I mean on my shit-list. NOBODY OUT PIRATE-HOUSES ME!
Thanks to Nikki, Dan, AJ and Lemrin, who all live in ninja-houses and have vowed to burn dude's pirate house to the ground to prove their stealthy supremacy.
Oct 14 2009 Pop It Like A Beach Ball!: Shape Shifting Bot
iRobot, a diabolical company best known for convincing millions of housewives to allow rug-munching robots into their homes, has now developed an air-filled shape-shifting robot that will climb into your bed and smother you while you sleep.
Unveiled at the International Conference on Intelligent Robots and Systems (IROS) yesterday, this palm-sized troublemaker is being billed as "the first demonstration of a completely soft, mobile robot using jamming as an enabling technology." The "jamming" in question is something called "jamming skin enabled locomotion," which traps air and a collection of loosely packed particles in a package made of silicon rubber. When air is removed from the pocket, the silicon restricts and seems to solidify. The robot consists of several of these pockets, which can be inflated or deflated separately, giving the device the ability to perform simple actions.
The first part of the video explains how the technology works, but the actual bot-test begins around 1:50. Sure, it may look like a harmless beach ball, but do you know how many people drown each year trying to retrieve beach balls that have been swept out to sea? Now multiply that by every single person on earth and you have an idea of this thing's killing potential.
iRobot shape-shifting ChemBot is back, and it's bad [engadget]
Thanks to JKirchartz, hayden, NF, Michael, Tuggis, matt and We'llmissyoujehudah, who vow to pop every last one of these things with fiery arrows. Good looking, guys, but you might wanna brush up on your archery.
Oct 7 2009 I'm Pirating All Her Songs Just To Spite Her: A Horribly Singing Robot
Yamaha's HRP-4C robot, best known for having pervs take pictures of its ass and modeling wedding dresses, can now sing song requests sent to it via iPhone. Impressive, Yamaha. I mean, if I DIDN'T SEE MORE IMPRESSIVE TECHNOLOGY AT CHUCK E CHEESE'S 20 YEARS AGO. Oooooh, burn! Seriously -- this thing, with fire. And while we're on the subject, somebody's dad touched my butt in the ballpit.
Hit the jump for a video of the robotic tramp singing terribly.
Continue Reading " I'm Pirating All Her Songs Just To Spite Her: A Horribly Singing Robot "
Sep 15 2009 Snake With Foot Found, Killed In China
I am seriously reconsidering my decision to procreate in China. What with all the winged cats and footed snakes, I don't want my children to grow up with three legs like their father, you know? My beneficial defects aside, I must admit: as an amateur herpetologist, I'm a little skeptical about a footed snake. It seems almost like it swallowed a lizard and then that bastard was all like, "oh hell naw!" and kicked through the snake's bitchass stomach.
Dean Qiongxiu, 66, said she discovered the reptile clinging to the wall of her bedroom with its talons in the middle of the night.
"I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound. I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw," said Mrs Duan of Suining, southwest China.Mrs Duan said she was so scared she grabbed a shoe and beat the snake to death before preserving its body in a bottle of alcohol.
I call shenanigans. Everybody knows snakes lost their right to feet after that one in Eden kept trying to touch Eve's boobs. Yes, I've read the Bible. He ended up stealing her nipples. And that, my flock, is where dried apricots come from. Amen.
Snake with foot found in China [telegraph]
Thanks to carmen, Matty and Chuck Nunchuck, who all have snaked feet. And this little piggy went to GAAAAAAAHH!!
Sep 1 2009
Possessed: The Boy Who Cries Wolf Blood
15-year old Calvino Inman is just like any other 15 year old boy. Except he's possessed by the devil and cries tears of blood. BURN HIM WITH FIRE! Now I'm not saying this a hoax, but I am saying I caught Calvino siphoning red food coloring up his ass (strictly by accident, I swear). DUM DUM DUM! Book 'em, Danno.
Thanks to leftRIGHTleft, who has to remind herself how to walk or she gets all tripped up.
Aug 5 2009 This Page Is Stupid And Cannot Be Displayed
This could be older than dino bones (but NOWHERE NEAR as sexy) for all I know, I just thought it was humorous because I pretty much see this message all the time and it makes me want to put my fist through the computer screen. Which I don't hesitate to do. Seriously, I'm already on like my fourth laptop. Of the day.
This page is stupid and cannot be displayed [org.nz]
Thanks to Nik, who once punched through his monitor and broke one of the internet's tubes.
Aug 3 2009 Toyota Develops Running Humanoid Robot
Nice one, Toyota -- a running humanoid robot. Because that's just what we need. Please God tell me that's actually a person in a robot costume.
[The video] from Toyota demonstrates the running capabilities of the new humanoid robot. The robot takes a step every 340ms and has no contact with the ground for 100ms of that. Notice in the video how the robot remains balanced even after pushed by the human
Did you read that? Did that not sound like it was written by a robot? "...pushed by the human"? So eloquent. You know, robots DO make the best writers. BEEP BOOP BOP. Oh that? Nothing.
Toyota's running humanoid robot [make]
Thanks to Mih0, Matt and Pew Pew Jenkins, who can all run faster than the Gingerbread Man and are gonna need to when these things hit full production.
Jul 23 2009 Tour Guide/Rent-A-Cop Robot Eats Children
Okay, so maybe it doesn't. OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY'D HAVE YOU BELIEVE. The Alsok Guard Robot D1 is being put to use in Fukuoka, Japan as tour guide/guard/monster piece of suck. Damn I'm good with the news!
The area's tourist attraction known as Canal City opted to use the decidedly cute and human-friendly services of a Alsok's Guard Robot D1.
In the daytime the robot functions as a kind of tour guide, offering website information and communication in Japanese, English, Chinese and Korean. At night the robot functions as a security guard, ready to alert authorities in case of trouble.
Not to start any wild rumors or anything, but I heard it touched a kid. BURN IT WITH FIRE!
Hit the jump for a video of the monster waste of money.
Continue Reading " Tour Guide/Rent-A-Cop Robot Eats Children "
Jul 22 2009 Robot Built To Model Wedding Dresses
'Miimu', a HRP-4C robot, is seen here being utilized as a runway model for Japanese fashion designer Yumi Katsura's line of bridal gowns. And, since I know women so well, I'll give you men a little insight into how their minds work.
"I really love this dress -- but how would it look on a robot?"Which brings up another disconcerting thought -- robot marriage. And you know what's sad? They'll probably allow unholy robotic matrimony before gay marriage. And that, my friends, makes me want to blow up the moon. And I don't even care if it's delicious cheese.
It's a nice day for a robot wedding [metro]
Thanks to Doctor Steel and Graf Zeppelin, who together form Doctor Graf Steel Zeppelin, which, you know, is pretty cool.
Jul 14 2009 Good Enough To Eat?: Darth Vader Chops
Andreas Heim, of Denmark, opened a pack of lamb chops earlier this month and, HELLO, DARK SIDE VADER CHOPS! I don't know about you, but I would eat the hell out of that thing. Although, to be honest, I would eat the hell out of unmasked Vader chops. Which are actually shriveled turnips. Admit it -- I'm not the only one who wanted to lick that head!
Se, en Darth Vader-kotelett! [vg]
Thanks to Oiva and Occasional reader, who once shared a tauntaun shaped pork chop.
Jun 30 2009 UPDATE: ZOMG, Freaking Sewer Creatures!
This is allegedly video from the sewers beneath Raleigh, North Carolina showing some weird ass freaky deaky new creatures. I suspect it's fake and gonna prove to be a viral video for Cloverfield 2: Attack of the Head Crabs or some feminine hygiene product. But who knows, maybe it's real. Regardless, I think we can all agree that it would be delicious BBQ'd.
UPDATE: Totally real apparently. According to Dr. Timothy Wood, freshwater bryozoa expert.
Thanks for the video - I had not see it before. No, these are not bryozoans! They are clumps of annelid worms, almost certainly tubificids (Naididae, probably genus Tubifex). Normally these occur in soil and sediment, especially at the bottom and edges of polluted streams. In the photo they have apparently entered a pipeline somehow, and in the absence of soil they are coiling around each other. The contractions you see are the result of a single worm contracting and then stimulating all the others to do the same almost simultaneously, so it looks like a single big muscle contracting. Interesting video.
BURN IT WITH FIRE! Somebody in Raleigh needs to start flushing fireworks down the toilet STAT.
Video Footage Surfaces of North Carolina Sewer Creatures [io9]
and
Disgusting Sewer Creature Update: IT'S F#$%ING REAL! [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who requests his medium rare with a side of A-1.
