Sep 3 2009 Kill It With Unkindness!: A Homeless Robot
Typically I find crazy homeless people cute with their funny signs and nonsensical babble. But not this one. You get no batteries, you hear me -- NO BATTERIES FOR YOU! I'll tell you what -- I would push this sucker down a flight of subway stairs like a street vendor's cart and not even feel bad about it. And if I have to go to a correctional facility and ended up being taken advantage of there, so be it. Haha, I saw that movie! Not really, I just know that that happens.
Homeless Robot [break]
Thanks to Darken, who once Shawshank'd his cellmate for looking at him salaciously.
Sep 26 2008 Sleep Standing Up With The Vertical Bed
Artist Jamie O'Shea's Vertical Bed combines two of my favorite things: sleeping. Standing can go f*** itself, because I hate it. I like lying down.
The Vertical Bed won't save you from poking and prodding, but with sunglasses on, noise-canceling headphones, a neck-pillow for comfort, and an umbrella to keep you dry, that's a pretty good start. The Vertical Bed will keep you upright thanks to hooks attached to the shoes that will lock into subway grates, and braces and concealed harnesses that keep your legs and back supported. It all conveniently folds down into a briefcase.
You know, I tried to sleep standing up once, but when I started to doze I fell over. To my credit though, I was pretty drunk -- on life! Just kidding, it was the shine.
The Vertical Bed: Power nap in the middle of the street [dvice]
Apr 15 2008 Mario Theme Played With RC Car And Bottles
In this world there are two kinds of things: those that are awesome, and those that make me want to kill myself. This is an awesome one. AN AWESOMELY AWsome one. That was me yelling. I know, I'm a little hoarse (but not the kind that kids ride around at birthday parties, those ones smell and shit everywhere. Actually, maybe I am). This is a video of an RC car playing the Super Mario theme by driving by and hitting bottles with a little metal whacker. I've watched it ten times and it's still cool. I can't believe the guy can drive the car that straight. Or that they found an empty parking garage to do it in. The parking garage around here is a scary place. The last time I had to store my car there I saw no less than two vagrants peeing in corners, some raunchy couple doing it in the back of a compact car, and what may or may not have been a dead hooker stuffed under an SUV (I didn't have the courage to poke her with my tire iron).
A big thanks to Daniel and Tombo, both of whom could write books about being cool, for the tips
Aug 7 2007 Steering Wheel Desk
As an executive on the go, time management is a very important factor in my daily life. After critical examination I realized there was one time during the day where I was really not utilizing my time to the fullest- in the car, driving! Sure I could dictate notes to my personal secretary, but more often than not she is busy doing, er...something else. So I can not tell you how relieved I am to have discovered the steering wheel desk. Now I can write emails, check my horoscope, watch movies, download music, and drive down the sidewalk at the same time! Not only that, but I think I ran over a bum two nights ago!
One more picture of a serious executive putting the steering wheel desk to good use after the jump.
