Oct 22 2009 BSoD Belt Buckle: A Problem Has Been Detected And Your Pants Have Been Shut Down To Prevent Damage To Your Privates

This is a blue screen of death belt buckle. It costs $17 and is currently on back order until November because everybody wants one for Halloween so they can dress up as people with novelty belt buckles. Pfft, like that'll win the costume contest.

The Blue Screen of Death (also known as a stop error, BSoD, bluescreen, or Blue Screen of Doom) is a colloquialism used for the error screen displayed by some operating systems, most notably Microsoft Windows, after encountering a critical system error which can cause the system to shut down to prevent damage.

Let's just hope the wearer of this sexy geek belt has a bit more luck!

How can you tell if a geek belt is sexy or not? Because looking at this one I wouldn't have known. But now that I do I'm gonna wear like four around my head like karate headbands. Sweep the leg, GW!

Product Site

Thanks to naas, who doesn't need a belt because boxers have elastic bands.

Sep 30 2009 Slings Let The World Know How You Did It

This is a series of slings that lets the rest of the world know how you went and broke your arm. And as a guy who's broken his thumb once and arm twice, I've got to admit: it's never stopped me from still doing dumb shit all the time. High-five for never learning lessons! But seriously, now I've got a wonk-arm now with a giant metal plate and screws in it that sends shockwaves up my arm whenever I try to do push-ups. Which is EXACTLY why I don't work out. AND HELL YES I SET OFF AIRPORT METAL DETECTORS! Just like Luke Skywalker -- except I'VE never tried slipping my sister the tongue. Step-sisters don't count!

Illustrative Slings Show How That Arm Got Boned [gizmodo]

Thanks to Romeo, whose magnetic personality alone is enough to set off an airport metal detector.

Aug 5 2009 This Page Is Stupid And Cannot Be Displayed

This could be older than dino bones (but NOWHERE NEAR as sexy) for all I know, I just thought it was humorous because I pretty much see this message all the time and it makes me want to put my fist through the computer screen. Which I don't hesitate to do. Seriously, I'm already on like my fourth laptop. Of the day.

This page is stupid and cannot be displayed [org.nz]

Thanks to Nik, who once punched through his monitor and broke one of the internet's tubes.

Jul 15 2009 It's Aliiiive!: Zombie SNES Mod Still Functional

French modder skadrums71 went and busted up a Super Nintendo and modded it Frankenstein style into an undead console. Amazingly, it still works. Per my tipster's translation:

Of course it works! it would have been non-sense to mod it!! we can plug in and out the cartridge without any difficulties!! the power button can be moved without difficulties... nevertheless, the eject button is blocked (it was already blocked before the mod process and the reset button is doomed (just for fun)

Well that ain't bad! Of course, I don't know how I'd feel about having another cartridge eating zombie running around the house. I'm looking at you, zombie dog. Damnit, you're slobbering through your neck again.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots, some with the lights off for full effect.

Continue Reading " It's Aliiiive!: Zombie SNES Mod Still Functional "

May 21 2009 Girl Miraculously Escapes Darwin Award Despite Diving In Front Of Truck For iPod

Apparently some 16-year old girl dove into traffic because she dropped her iPod in the street and had already blasted her remaining brains out at level 11 volume.

The girl was walking across the street on Tuesday when she dropped her iPod. She went back to grab it in moving traffic and was, unsurprisingly, hit by the approaching pickup truck. She suffered a broken leg, but hey, her iPod is OK!

Now this is the time where I close my eyes and daydream about being the person driving the truck. OH. UH-OH! LADY LOOK OU.... There were no survivors.

Brilliant Girl Jumps In Front of a Pickup Truck to Save iPod [gizmodo]

May 19 2009 Physics Are Phun!: The Ball Flip Trick

Impressive, but I would have gone with a triple gainer with a twist. Twisted ankle. I'm so clumsy! Now somebody bring me an ice pack, I threw a hip out humping a dinosaur pillow last night -- AND this morning. I AM A LOVEMAKING MACHINE!

Physics WIN [current]

Thanks to Andrew, who once popped one of those balls at the gym and everyone thought it was a terrorist act for a second. It was.

Apr 6 2009 For Sale: The T-Virus Vial From Resident Evil

Want to own the T-virus? Want to own the vial the T-virus came in? Well now you can, thanks to a $3,800 eBay auction for (one of?) the very vial(s) used in Resident Evil: Extinction!

Direct from the set of Resident Evil:Extinction comes the very very key virus tube! This is one of the most sought after movie collectibles from this franchise and is yours to bring home today. This is a glass vial with non-removable metal end caps with empty spiraling inner glass tubes. (One of the Tubes is loose) This measures approximately 4.75" x 1.5" and is screen used.

What do you mean, "One of the Tubes is loose"? I ain't paying no damn $4K for a nonfunctional virus container, I'll tell you that right now. You try to fill that up and next thing you know you're spilling T-virus juice down the front of your pants. Which....

UPDATE: It grew arms! Now, who needs a Monday hug?

eBay Auction

Thanks to OctopusPie, who's delicious with a little CuttlefishIcecream.

Feb 25 2009 Even Parking Meters Are Out To Get Us

Thought you were safe from robotic parking meters? Think again. Apparently the clever little bastards are pretending to be broken, then, once you've limped away without feeding them, auto-correct themselves and POW, parking ticket.

How is this possible? One explanation, according to DDOT, is that 74 percent of D.C.'s 15,453 meters are designed to self-correct, but are also "at the end of their useful life." So a person who parks at a meter displaying a "fail" message may return an hour later to find a working meter flashing zero time and a ticket on the windshield -- a process that may repeat several times a day.

"It was a news flash to me that we had this huge number of meters that are self-repairing," Ward 1 Councilman Jim Graham, chairman of the public works committee, said Thursday.

First of all, I think it's time for a new Ward 1 Councilman. And secondly, I live here in DC and just write BROKEN in black Sharpie across the glass of all parking meters. Law breaker or handsome vigilante -- you decide. But if you decided law breaker you should reconsider. Because -- you see this? No, down here. Yeah, the knife in my hand -- It's got your spleen's name on it. Well, it will. What's your spleen's name? Okay, now what'd I do with the Sharpie?

Parking Meters Out to Destroy the Human Race [nbcwashington]

Thanks spudtheimpaler, you in DC? We should drink beer together.

Feb 10 2009 Large Hadron Collider Still Not Colliding

Apparently now that the LHC has Google doing its bidding, it's taking it easy and won't become operational anytime soon. Unless September is considered soon, in which case, shit, I won't live to see the finale of LOST.

The Large Hadron Collider could be switched back on in September - a year after it shut down due to a malfunction and several months later than expected.

An investigation into the LHC's problems concluded the initial malfunction was caused by a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's magnets. Cern had also said new protection systems would be added as part of £14m repairs.

It blamed the shutdown on the failure of a single, badly soldered electrical connection in one of its super-cooled magnet sections.

I applaud you, nameless faulty solderer. I just hope you and the other saboteurs have something planned for September, lest we all get sucked into a worm hole and wind up in some alien's petting zoo. Which, I think we can all agree, would -- wait, you think they have dinosaurs?

Hadron Collider relaunch delayed [bbcnews]

Thanks to Richie-Con-Carne, who tastes delicious with Sriracha hot sauce.

Jan 23 2009 Wiilly Bad Ideas: Adding Weights To Wiimotes

Wow, wait till somebody beats their dog in the head or throws one of these through the TV.

Introducing riiflex, a weighted attachment designed for the the Wii™ remote. Soon gamers and fitness enthusiasts alike will be able to turn their Wiimote into a weighted dumbbell.

Be among the first to receive this innovative product by submitting your reservation for preorder today.

* Designed for the Wii™ Remote (Wiimote).
* 2LB and 5LB increments (currently proposed).
* Allows access to all Wii™ Remote functions.

Riiflex: $5 to reserve for pre-order
New flatscreen television: $1,600
Two years of therapy for the kids when you kill the family dog: $9,000
Convincing yourself you'll actually get fit playing Wii with a weighted remote: priceless

There are some things money can't buy, for all the rest, steal.

Product Page

Thanks to Tank, who works out his treads running over the bodies of his enemies.

Jan 14 2009 Australian Fixes Plasma TV With Baseball Bat

NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW, DUE TO LANGUAGE.

This video is so full of win I don't even know where to start. But I'll try. First of all, beating the shit out of a TV with a baseball bat is just awesome. Also, humping it against the wall is cool too. And to make matters even more rad, there's a pair of chicks with Australian accents arguing in the background the whole time. Which, combined with the beating of the television, really turned me on. And let me tell you: the guy they're arguing about, Simon (who the one emphatically claims she doesn't give a shit about), must be pretty freaking special for them to ignore the epic repair going down in the next room.

How To Repair Your Plasma TV With a Baseball Bat (NSFW) [gizmodo]

Thanks to Nathan, who once fixed his DVD player with a hockey stick but had to spend two minutes in the penalty box for high-sticking.

Jan 5 2009 Pssst, Over Here: Cheap Knock-Off Brands

Knock-offs: they look like the real thing, but are bought out of the back of a skeezy guy's van for a quarter of the price and either break or explode within a week of purchase. Then, to make matters worse, the bastard isn't set up on the same street corner when you go to return the merchandise. What a sham! And speaking of which, I will now perform a magic trick -- Alakasham! Can you still see me? I'm supposed to be invisible. *entering women's locker room* "EEEEEEEEEEKK!!!!!!" Oh, oh shit.

Hit the jump for a few more knock-offs, including a chicken wearing the Colonel's tie.

Continue Reading " Pssst, Over Here: Cheap Knock-Off Brands "

Dec 4 2008 Toby Jones Stores Your Stuff On The Cheap

God, I wish he offered a babysitting service too.

Youtube

Thanks to Jake, who's used Toby's services and swears they're legit. Well, as legit as $11 storage can be.

Dec 1 2008 Large Hadron Collider May Never Start Again

Well, that's a lie. Actually, no it's not. *brandishing crowbar* At least not if I have something say about it! Anyway, the LHC, which was thought to only be down until the spring, may not kill us all until late 2009, or even 2010. We're saved (but still be wary of terrorists)!

According to spokesperson James Gillies, the complicated repairs can be simplified into modest Plan A and Plan B approach.

Plan A is a quick and dirty fix, getting the particle accelerator online as quickly as possible (late summer 2009) at the cost of operating at lower power. In this scenario, 3 of 8 pressure relief-system segments are replaced (only the broken ones) with the other 5 getting upgraded at unsaid maintenance dates in the future.

Plan B is the more extensive but also more delayed approach, requiring the complete redesign and replacement of the LHC's entire pressure-relief system. Under this scenario, the LHC wouldn't go online until 2010 at the earliest, though at that time the system could operate at full power.

Well, looks like we're gonna have to find another way to destroy the planet in the meantime. Any ideas? I'm thinking good old fashioned CFCs. Or, alternatively, whip-its. Just remember: stop before the whipcream comes out. You squirt it, you buy it -- grocery store policy.

LHC Might Not Be Back Online Until 2010 or Later [gizmodo]

Thanks to Harrison, who promises to help me break into CERN and rollerskate around in the hallways.

Sep 24 2008 Woops: Guy Mishandles Antique

I remember seeing this a while ago, but for those of you who have yet to witness its awesomeness, here it is: some guy showing off his one of a kind antique recording. Warning: he says shit and the host of the show made me punch through my monitor. But still, totally worth a watch.

Old man breaks one of a kind antique [googlevideo]

Thanks to chaosthirteen, who agrees there's just nothing funnier than another person's misfortune.

Sep 24 2008 We're Saved!: LHC Shut Down Temporarily

The Large Hadron Collider won't be doing any colliding until next spring due to a magnet failure that allowed a ton of helium to leak out one of the tunnels.

Cern said the most likely cause of the equipment failure was a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's magnets. This connection melted during testing of the machine and caused a huge leak of super-cool helium.

We're saved! There will be a Christmas after all! Just kidding, the robots are coming. Let's just say Thanksgiving won't be so thankful this year.

On a side note, your friend the Geekologie Writer is going through a really tough time right now (divorce). Please don't give up on him, he'll be back to rocking the shit out of shit as soon as possible.

Collider halted until next year [bbcnews]

Thanks to Flash, Josh, Daniel, and Dave, who all know the only good collisions happen at the demolition derby.

Sep 19 2008 Awh, How Cute: A Printer Repair Kitty

This little guy must be the L337 computer repair kitty because that's exactly how I fixed my printer.

Watch it to the end.
Youtube

Thanks to Matthew, whose cat could hack your dog's myspace profile if it wanted.

Sep 17 2008 Ninja Cat Is Mad Stealthy, Will Kill You

Sorry for the late start today folks. You see, my girlfriend and I got in a fight last night over how I like my eggs cooked, and she, in a fit of rage, broke my interwebs. But I've pieced them back together and am ready to roll. So let's do this!

Here's a video of a ninja cat that only approaches when the cameraman isn't looking. Skip about halfway through the video for the good stuff. It's pretty cute. Reminds me of the time The Terrorist tried to jump on the bed but landed on my face and clawed the everliving shit out of it. Thankfully, I have a great personality.

Youtube

Thanks to Chachoregard, who once ninjad a guy in the face for selling him faulty shurikens.

Sep 5 2008 Epic Failure: How Not To Parachute

This is a video of basejumper Hans Lange vampire suiting around in Norway. Everything goes smoothly until his parachute fails to deploy properly and he ends up tumbling down the mountainside until he's stopped by a tree. He caught it all on film thanks to a helmet cam. Hans, you are one lucky mother -- an improperly deployed parachute is better than no deployment at all. Seriously, I went on one of those discount skydiving adventures once, and, long story short: they pushed me out of the plane with a freaking bookbag. Thankfully, my ghost is a hell of a blogger.

First Person View of an Epic Parachute Fail [gizmodo]

Mar 4 2008 Little Boy Calls Himself 'Magneto Man', Breaks Computers, Is Proud, Thinks He's Famous

Joe Falciatano III (of the Falciatano dynasty) is 12-years old and has broken 12 computers in his school's computer lab. They thought it had something to do with magnetism, but it's now believed to be a static issue related to his over-insulated shoes. Personally, I think it's because his mom banged Magneto while the X-Men were on vacation. That's just my theory though (which is correct). He even calls himself "Magneto Man", despite being 12-years old and unable to produce facial hair. Finally some brainiac, whose intelligence is undoubtedly up there with the likes of Einstein, suggested he wear an anti-static wrist strap. Lo and behold the problems stopped! Now, call me crazy, but why did it take 12 broken computers to finally get the kid to wear a freaking wrist strap? Wow, computer lab teacher. Wow. If a kid broke one computer in my lab they'd be wearing a lot more than a wrist strap. Namely a size 12 Puma up their ass. I love kids.

Video report after the jump.

Continue Reading " Little Boy Calls Himself 'Magneto Man', Breaks Computers, Is Proud, Thinks He's Famous "