Nov 13 2009 I'll Be The Prettiest Girl At The Ball And Everyone Will Notice Me!: LED Dress
Just to let this chick know that her LED wedding dress doesn't hold a lumen to a REAL LED dress, somebody went and created the GalaxyDress, which is being touted as the world's biggest LED-covered dress. Yay? Hip hop hooray? Ho -- hey -- ho. I'M NAUGHTY BY NATURE!
The GalaxyDress was constructed using 24,000 LED lights and, to add an extra bit of glitter, another 4,000 Swarovski crystals were included in the silk garment's design.
The dress is currently on display at the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry as part of the FastForward: Inventing the Future exhibit.
Funny story about inventing the future: God did it. There used to only be past and present when he thought to himself, "God, you know what would be super sweet? Flying cars". POOF!: the future. This is the word of the Geekologie Writer. Boomshackalacka.
GalaxyDress: The biggest LED dress in the world debuts [dvice]
Jan 22 2009
Strange Lights In The Sky Can Only Mean One Of Two Things: The Aliens Are Coming Or Some Boring Natural Phenomenon
It's a well-known scientific fact that aliens have a light fetish. So these columns of light seen above the town of Sigulda, Latvia can only mean one thing: they're here. Needless to say, there's a cover-up in effect.
But experts are agreed there may be a more prosaic explanation - ice crystals in the air.
The air above the town was notably cold and filled with suspended ice crystals.It is believed that the columns were formed by those reflecting light from the bright streetlamps and other lights on the ground - beaming it back downwards again.
Yeah, no. Aliens, bitches, they're coming. Now I'd hate to start a bunch of fearmongering without doing something to help, so I'll cut straight to the chase: I'm selling tin-foil hats and butthole tape on eBay.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the mysterious alien beams.
Nov 24 2008 Now That's What I Call Hot: LEGO Fashion
Designer Jean Charles de Castelbajac, now to be known as Jean Charles Van Damme Dem Legos Are Hot, displayed some LEGO inspired outfits at a recent fashion show. If you can't tell, they're making me amorous. Gimme kissey! Haha, now that'll be a nickel. And also, why the hell am I not a fashion designer? I've got some killer ideas. Namely, a LEGO castle on some waif's head. ZOMG, I'm gonna take the fashion industry by storm! AND the lapels. See what I did there? No? Hey, I'm just flying by the seat of my LEGO pants. Jesus, I could do this all day.
Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of what the show had looked like if they had used actual minifigs.
Continue Reading " Now That's What I Call Hot: LEGO Fashion "
Nov 3 2008 How To Get Hit By A Bus: The Immersion Scarf
Ooooh, I like that tie. The Immersion Scarf is basically a smaller version of a whatever the hell you'd call this thing. But, instead of being used in conjunction with a computer, it was designed for use with cell phones and portable gaming systems. And no so much for warmth and privacy as much as anti-glare and privacy. So yeah, totally different. Nope, no idea theft going on here at all. And also, no plagiarism. Just kidding, I copy/pasted this shit from your mom's blog. Funny lady!
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.
Continue Reading " How To Get Hit By A Bus: The Immersion Scarf "
Oct 13 2008 Sony Unveils Ultra-Thin 40" LCD Television
The Sony Bravia ZX1 is not only 9.9mm thin, but "40% more efficient per panel inch compared to conventional flat panel technology" and allegedly uses less power than a light bulb. I'm not sure what kind of lightbulb, but probably not the 5-watt nightlight in the bathroom I use to prevent pissing on the floor. You know, I was just thinking the other day, "self, this LCD flat panel just isn't thin enough -- I really need something in the 9-10mm range." Thanks Sony, I'll take a 40". $6,055? No prob....wait, problem. Huge freaking problem.
Hit the jump for a video of the mother.
Continue Reading " Sony Unveils Ultra-Thin 40" LCD Television "
Oct 2 2008 UV Ray Bikini Helps Keep You Cancer Free
The SmartSwim UV Intensity Bikini ($99) has little purple beads right between the tits (and other, more boring places) to let you know how intense the UV rays are. Light purple good, dark purple, cancer. I suppose if you don't want to shell out 99 bones you could buy any bikini and add your own beads, but that would be cheating. And cheating, my friends, wins games.
SmartSwim UV Intensity Bikini warns against excessive exposure [dvice]
Jun 27 2008 Cassette Lamps: Cooler Than 8-Track Lamps
Some designers over at Transparent House have come up with a pretty clever way of recycling old cassette tapes. Not as clever as shooting them off your fence from the back porch, but still pretty clever. They're making lamps. That's right, lamps. You know, illumination devices. As you can see from the picture, they cast pretty cool shadows on the walls. But I don't think they're for sale, so if you're interested you'll have to make one yourself. But please, don't be a dipshit and use opaque tapes like I did.
Hit the jump for several more pictures.
Continue Reading " Cassette Lamps: Cooler Than 8-Track Lamps "
Jun 25 2008 Sky Ceilings: Like Sky Lights, But Depressing
Sky Ceilings are probably an old as hell idea. So old. Your mommy probably read you a news story about them when you were a child. Yet, here they are -- weird. Sky Ceilings were designed to mimic daylight and change with the time of day from sun up to sun down. They're for people like me that work in Cubeville and don't see the light of day unless they sneak up to the roof and contemplate jumping. Which I do frequently. The sidewalk just looks so appetizing from up here. Oh -- here comes The Superficial Writer, late as always and trying to sneak in the side door. *hooccckkkkkkkk*
Sky Ceilings make you feel like you're outside even when you're not [dvice]
Jun 23 2008 MIT Students Make Solar Dish, Melt Steel
Students at MIT have developed a parabolic solar dish capable of melting steel. It consists of an array of 10 inch by 12 foot curved mirrors, and is a crucial step in the race to provide cleaner, cheaper energy.
The MIT team believes that their lightweight, inexpensive device holds the promise of revolutionizing the power industry and providing solar power to even remote regions.
The completed mirror focuses enough solar energy at its focal point to melt solid steel. The energy of typical sunlight is concentrated by a factor of 1,000. This was showcased during a demonstration, in which a team member held up a board, which instantly and violently combusted, when brought within range of the focal point.By directing the dish at a more practical target -- water piped through black tubing -- steam can be flash created, offering instant means of producing energy or providing heating.
Awesome. I just built one myself, and I've got to say, it's pretty damn powerful. I just put a chair in front of it alongside a giant "FREE MAKEUP" sign, and now I'm waiting for my girlfriend to get home.
UPDATE: Success -- single again!
Hit the jump for a picture of the completed dish and a wooden beam catching fire.
Continue Reading " MIT Students Make Solar Dish, Melt Steel "
Jun 2 2008 GENIUS: A Candle That Smells Like Strippers
Sometimes there's a candle that comes along and changes the way I look at wax-fueled flames forever. And this is one -- The Hotwicks Stripper Candle. The $9 candle smells like strippers.
It's a candle and an alibi all in one! You don't smell like a stripper, you just smell like a candle.
This is our favorite candle. After hundreds of hours of research and a lot of dollar bills we succeeded in capturing the legendary stripper scent. If you don't know what a stripper smells like just imagine the perfume counter at your local department store times a thousand... then add some glitter. This is a perfect gift for your favorite bachelor, groomsmen, or retired stripper who misses her pole.
OMGWTFNOMORESLEEPINGINTHEDOGHOUSEFORTHEGEEKOLOGIEWRITER! Wow, I really need to shake the hands of the humanitarians that spent those countless hours researching this breakthrough in scent technology. Good people. Now when I come home and the wife accuses me of stripclubbing, I'll insist it's just the candle. But if she asks why I have a pastie stuck to my forehead I'll have to run and hide in the bathroom.
Another picture of the candle after the jump.
Continue Reading " GENIUS: A Candle That Smells Like Strippers "
May 7 2008 Brightdoor Makes Its Locked Status Obvious
The Brightdoor is green when unlocked, red when locked. Pretty simple, but it's making that girl in the picture glow like the devil. Apparently Lervik Design (the company responsible) first made just handles that lit up. But after realizing you could waste a lot more energy if the whole door glowed, they created this monstrosity. But as ridiculous as it is, I kind of like it. But instead of indicating locked or unlocked, I think it should be enter/do not enter (serving a similar function to the "do not disturb" signs in hotels and the sock you used to hang on your dormroom door in college). And here's why: One time a girlfriend of mine in college was studying for an exam all night, so I decided to go out and get drunk and mack on all the soon-to-graduate chicks at the bars. So I had a good time with the ladies and eventually ended up back at home. And what should happen? My girlfriend, who promised she would be studying all night, decided she was already prepared for the exam and came over to sleep in my bed. I was completely unaware of this. So, lo and behold, she comes over and busts open my bedroom door. And there I was, having sex. With myself. To anime. She screamed and broke up with me right there. And what I learned from the situation is this: I can't believe I just told you all that story.
Brightdoor: Well, the Door is Securely Locked, But I Haven't Slept in Days [gizmodo]
Thanks to Shawn, who once forgot to hang a sock on the door and his roommate walked in on him with four chicks in the bed
May 5 2008 It's About Time: A Sun Bed For Your Pets
Cats and dogs love the sun. They just want to lay in it and get all hot and smelly and delicious. Well for those of you out there that live in a windowless apartment or just keep the shades pulled all the time because you walk around with your junk flapping in the breeze, there is still hope for your furry little loved ones. And it comes in the form of a SunSpa.
The SunSpa's elegant wooden arch provides a stable base and convenient handles for easy maneuverability. The light itself maintains a comfortable temperature of 80-85 degrees on the bed's surface, lasts 5000 hours and is 150 watts. The luxurious Crypton (where Superman suckled his mother's teat) fabric cover is odor resistant, water resistant, stain resistant, and is machine washable. Along with the cover, the soft foam padding folds up for easy storage.
So there you have it. No word on price, but it's probably more than opening the freaking blinds. But less than a popcorn machine -- which, incidentally, is what my cats use to stay warm. So if you ever come over it's best to politely decline any popcorn I offer.
Apr 11 2008 IKEA Turns Japanese Monorail Into Showroom
IKEA, best known for their sweet coffee table that I bought, has turned the Kobe Portliner Monorail of Port Island, Japan into a traveling showroom. As you can see it looks like someone threw up all over the place. It will remain that way until May 6th, so if you're in the area go check it out. While the bright colors and nutty patterns make me a little queasy, I still think it's a great idea. They should totally pimp out the D.C. Metro like this. That way when the guy sitting behind me pulls his thingy out and starts beating it against the back of my seat I can at least pretend I'm in a furniture store.
A bunch more pictures of the pimped out trains after the jump.
Continue Reading " IKEA Turns Japanese Monorail Into Showroom "
Mar 11 2008 Porcupine Flashlight Is Sharp, Scary, Lethal
The K2 Porcupine is a tactical flashlight with a wicked sharp spiked bezel so you can maim and/or kill any would-be attackers.
Unlike ordinary tactical lights with crenellated bezel that can often inflict unnecessary harms to oneself, K2 features sharpened spikes around the bezel that protrude outward only when the spike protector is lowered. With the spikes protected when not needed, the fast turn threading allows the rapid retraction of the spike protector. These spikes are sharpened far more than those ordinary crenellated bezel light. Together with its powerful 70-lumen eye-blinding white light, the sharpened retractable spikes make K2 a powerful self defense tool.
The $129 flashlight runs on two CR-123A batteries and will give you about 60 minutes of light. You know, it seems like just yesterday I was attacking my roommate with a sharpened flashlight because I mistook him for a burglar. What Steve? That was yesterday? Sorry it's kind of hard to hear you through all those bandages.
K2 Porcupine Flashlight blinds attackers, then rips them to shreds [dvice]
Mar 7 2008 HERCULES Laser Sounds Powerful, I Guess
The HERCULES laser produces a beam that lasts 30 million billionths of a second and is believed to be the most intense light in the universe.
If you could hold a giant magnifying glass in space and focus all the sunlight shining toward Earth onto one grain of sand, that concentrated ray would approach the intensity of a new laser beam made in a University of Michigan laboratory. The record-setting beam measures 20 billion trillion watts per square centimeter. It contains 300 terawatts of power. That’s 300 times the capacity of the entire U.S. electricity grid. The laser beam's power is concentrated to a 1.3-micron speck about 100th the diameter of a human hair. A human hair is about 100 microns wide.
It is hoped the beam can be used to develop better forms of radiation treatment for cancer and explore the possibility of spontaneous matter generation (holy hellfire!). Now my buddy (who will remain anonymous but whose name is York) came up with an even better use for such a laser. Are you ready for it? Here it comes -- A 24 HOUR LASER LIGHT SHOW ON THE MOON! Wrap your brain around that one for a minute. This might very well be the turning point in world relations. Think about it -- all nations coming together to get high as shit and watch lasers on the freaking moon! Can you smell that? It’s world peace. Or maybe it’s the moon exploding. Either way it’s going to be a hell of a show.
HERCULES Laser is Most Intense Laser in the Universe, Almost as Powerful as the Death Star [gizmodo]
Feb 4 2008 Homemade Flashlight Is Relatively Bright
Optics engineer Ralf Ottow built himself a flashlight. But not just any flashlight -- he built a 38-million-candlepower flashlight with a plasma mercury arc bulb. He calls it the Maxablaster. I call it bright as shit.
The Maxablaster creates a highly focused beam of light with a high UV content not so different from a star. So UV-filtering glass was added to block the potentially harmful rays—though evidently this thing is still plenty bright enough to burn skin, as it has Ottow's on at least one occasion.
Sweet. And I thought last week's Wicked Torch was something. I'm going to make one and use it instead of candles for my mother-in-law's birthday cake. I'm not totally sure how old she is, but 38-million sounds close enough. True story, she used to date Methuselah's older brother.
Maxablaster Flashlight Burns Skin, Clouds, Vampires [gizmodo]
Jan 29 2008 Wicked Torch Flashlight Is Bright, Starts Fires
The Wicked Torch is a 4,100-lumen flashlight made by Wicked Lasers. It's pretty bright. There's a video after the jump of a guy setting some paper on fire with it. It can also fry an egg or melt plastic. The unit sucks so much power that the battery only last 15 minutes. Oh, and it costs $300. Which is pretty expensive for a flashlight. Expensive enough to make my wallet catch fire and burn my asscheek just thinking about it.
Video after the jump.
Continue Reading " Wicked Torch Flashlight Is Bright, Starts Fires "
Jan 10 2008 Photon Light Boards Are Freaking Sweet
Photon Light Boards are skateboards with incorporated lighting designs so you can pimp it large while you're skating. They come in all sorts of different designs and range in price from $110 - $120 for the board only. You can get a complete setup with trucks and wheels for $200. The best part is that they're rechargeable, so you'll be glowing for the entirety of the board's life. I think they look pretty damn sweet, especially the ones that appear to have headlights and taillights. I dig that. Because let's face it, skateboarding in the dark is dangerous. And so is humping a polar bear. I've tried both I've skated in the dark, and believe me, the results can be disastrous.
Because today is video day at Geekologie there's two videos after the jump, along with a link to the company's website.
