Nov 4 2009 Moron Scores DWI In Breathalyzer Costume
18-year old idiot moron James N. P. Miller (because one initial wasn't enough) scored a DWI (you can't even drink legally!) on Halloween while wearing his 'blow here' breathalyzer costume. Not so good lookin', N.P. Can I call you N.P.? You know I'm going to anyways.
According to a police report, 18-year-old James N. P. Miller, of Cincinnati, was seen driving the wrong way out of the entrance to a one-way street at East Park Place in Oxford.
Inside his car, officers allegedly found an open container of Bud Light in the center console.Officers also found what was left of a case of Bud Light in the passenger side front seat and in the trunk.
The legal limit in Ohio is .08 BAC--Miller tested at .158. He was cited for operating a vehicle while intoxicated (among other violations) and released to his girlfriend.
I actually know a guy that wore the same costume on Halloween and try as I might, I couldn't get a reading. I dunno, dead batteries or something.
Moron In Breathalyzer Costume Busted For Driving Drunk [gizmodo]
Thanks to Chris, who blew even harder than I did.
Sep 17 2009 How To Light A Grill With Liquid Oxygen
First of all, I'm not convinced liquid oxygen is real because, if it is, why can't I breath underwater? I want a merman, damnit. But if it is real, this is a video of Theo Gray lighting a charcoal grill with the stuff. Apparently it's dangerous, but I find it hard to believe. I mean, it's just a liquid. Jesus, it's not like I just ate and wanna go swimming in the stuff.
Lighting a Grill with Liquid Oxygen Is the Opposite of Safe [gizmodo]
Thanks to Van, who may or may not house a real husky bastard down by the river.
Apr 14 2009 Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung
Apparently some guy was huffing pinecones when he accidentally snorted a bud into his lungs, where it grew into a little tree. Please note: man was not actually snorting pinecones, I just made that up for the sake of providing you with the highest quality investigative journalism. Also, I don't know know if you could tell or not, but I made that graphic using Photoshop. Elite skills: I'm full of them. But hopefully, not evergreens.
Artyom Sidorkin, came to a hospital in the city of Izhevsk in Central Russia last week, complaining that he was experiencing chest pain and coughing up blood.
After submitting to an X-ray the doctors saw a lump in the patient's lung. After a biopsying the lump the doctors pulled out a 5 centimeter fir tree branch out of his lung, complete with needles.
Sick! At least he didn't swallow it though. Because one time I swallowed a pumpkin seed and then several months later pissed a jack-o-lantern, complete with cut-out face and candle. Boy did I feel 8 pounds lighter!
Hit the jump for a graphic shot of the tree and partial lung after removal. NOT recommended for lunch viewing.
Continue Reading " Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung "
Apr 6 2009 I Like The Sound Of That: Huffable Chocolate
Normally I'm an airplane glue kind of guy, but hey, chocolate could be good. Good mixed with airplane glue! That's what I'm talkin' about -- double fist style! Anyway, Le Whif breathable chocolates are supposed to give you the same sensations as eating chocolate, but probably nowhere near as good. An analogy: Breathable chocolate:chocolate::porn:sex. With both breathable chocolate and porn you get no ass! ZA-ZA-ZA-ZING!
Over the centuries we've been eating smaller and smaller quantities at shorter and shorter intervals," says (David) Edwards who, coincidentally (yeah, right) has a new novel out at the same time. It seemed to us that eating was tending toward breathing, so, with a mix of culinary art and aerosol science, we've helped move eating habits to their logical conclusion. We call it whiffing.
No, we call it huffing, Dave. Whiffing is when you try to punch somebody and miss. If you're interested, Le Whif huffgun shells are available in chocolate, mint chocolate, chocolate raspberry and chocolate mango and sell for about $4 a pop. No word on how much huff you get out of a single canister, but if I had to guess, I'd say one...two...three... *CRUNCH* three.
Hit the jump for a video of some bicycle-seat whiffing in action.
Continue Reading " I Like The Sound Of That: Huffable Chocolate "
Aug 26 2008 Racing Across Azeroth In Real Life
Two guys made rigs that turns running on treadmills into their characters actually running through Azeroth. They made them by attaching a bike wheel with an optical mousepad and mouse to the treadmills. It's estimated that characters in the game run around 12MPH, but since the two didn't want to have simultaneous heart attacks, they rigged the system to only have to run 6MPH themselves for their characters to reach that 12MPH top speed. How did it work out? You'll have to watch the video after the jump to find out. But suffice it to say that even running at a paltry 6MPH, they were both dangerously close to myocardial infarctions. I hope all of you WoW players out there learn a valuable lesson from this. One about the benefits of performance enhancing drugs.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of the race.
Apr 14 2008 Halitosis Detector Also Features Alcohol Meter
We featured another stink-breath detector on Geekologie a while ago, but that one didn't have a back-lit screen or breathalyzer, so it sucked. But the Etiquiette Checker ($59) does, so while it still sucks, at least it's the lesser of two suckages. You just blow into the device, and it gives you a score from 1-6, 1 being go French kiss the hottest chick you can find, 6 being you may have just licked a dog's ass. But this marvel doesn't end there, no sir. It also gives you a blood alcohol reading in 0.05 increments (kind of useless). Remember the first time one of your friends got a breathalyzer and you all went out to see who could blow the highest? I do, it was great. I thought for sure I was going to win with a 0.27, but my buddy Shitty Bill ended up blowing us all out of the liquor with a 0.38.
R.I.P. Shitty
UPDATE: Glad this guy wasn't there.
Electronic Etiquette Checker [ohgizmo]
Mar 10 2008 Live Underwater: Dive Tanks Recycle Oxygen
The Poseidon Mk IV Discovery is a dive tank that recycles oxygen, so you can stay underwater long enough to fall in love with a mermaid and produce mutant children. Awesome, I know. Just don't go settling for a manatee like I did. The system works through the use of C02 scrubbers and oxygen cells powered via lithium-ion battery. Unfortunately the unit does not protect divers from the bends. Or the runs. Which, in my case, are a serious problem.
Mk IV Discovery rebreather recycles oxygen for longer diving [dvice]
