Oct 31 2009 'Tis The Season: For A Zombie Wedding Cake
Is there any better way to celebrate a couple's undying love and devotion for one another than with a zombie wedding cake? There is not. As you can see, the cake features the lovely couple on top fighting off a horde of the undead with chainsaws. Can you say romantic? This reminds me of the time I took a girl out in highschool and accidentally ran over a bum with my dad's car on the way to makeout point and made he swear she'd never tell anybody I received straight A's and gave a speech at the graduation ceremony. Whew, good recovery, GW.
Hit the jump for a shot of the lucky couple whose marriage may or may not end in a 911 call about a domestic stabbing (it's totally going to).
Continue Reading " 'Tis The Season: For A Zombie Wedding Cake "
Oct 29 2009 HORF HORF HORF: Halloween Brain Shots
Listen, I love the booze more than anything, but there's no way I'm drinking a curdled shot, I don't care how much it looks like a delicious brain. I've been tricked into it before, and I'm definitely not doing it on purpose. But, if you insist on being grody:
bloody brain shooter
1 1/4 oz. strawberry vodka such as Stoli
1/8 oz. Rose's lime juice
3/4 oz. Bailey's Irish Cream
Splash of grenadinePreparation:
Chill vodka for better smoothness. Add vodka and lime juice to a shaker, shake and strain into a shot glass. Using a straw, dip some Bailey's Irish Cream into the shot. Once you submerge the straw into the Bailey's put your finger on top of the straw to hold the Bailey's in the straw. Dip the straw tip into the vodka and slowly release your top finger. The Bailey's will curdle a little bit due to the lime juice and you should be able to make strands of Bailey's.
Repeat the straw/Bailey's process to build a "brain" in the shot glass. Add a splash of grenadine to the concoction to add the 'blood' to the mix. Down the hatch as a shot.
Alternatively, have a friend hold a shot of Bailey's in their mouth and then add one of lime juice and swish it around. Cement mixer! Puke! Lose a friend!
brain shots [folkinz]
via
Bloody Brain Shooters [neatorama]
Thanks to Blastphemer, who doesn't even care if he's drinking solid booze he wants it so bad.
Sep 24 2009 Remove The Knuckles And The Fingers Will Die: Hardcore Zombie Tattoo
Wait, so does that mean he IS a zombie? Beause it doesn't say '#1 zombie slaya', it just says 'zombie'. Who knows, maybe he didn't have enough fingers for all that. Or brains. Get it? Zombie joke!
Thanks to Emma, who once brained a zombie with a frying pan and didn't even lose the eggs she was cooking. Over-easy, Emma.
Sep 17 2009 Zombie Shooting Targets Now Available
Tired of shooting at the same boring silhouettes when you're getting your gun on? Well why not prepare for the imminent zombie apocalypse and get your pew on at the same time with these zombie-themed shooting targets?
Full color Zombie Poster Targets. Designed for fun at the range or for your next league's Zombie Shoot. Features shaded scoring lines in both head & brain that cannot be seen at shooting distances.
Prices start at $1.50 a pop and decrease with quantity ordered. I just bought 1,000 so I could get them for $0.69 AND I DON'T EVEN OWN A GUN! Now lasers, lasers are a different story. You will never take them from me! I'm looking at you, future Amendment XXXII. Cold dead hands, just sayin'. *pew pew!*
Thanks to Patrick, who once beat a paper zombie target to death with a shovel. You know, for principle.
Aug 18 2009 What Could Go Wrong?: Zombie Themed Bar
Donny Dirk's Zombie Den is a zombie themed bar in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I don't know how I feel about it.
The stunning new interior comes straight out of a 1950s Las Vegas lounge (the classic part). The zombie stuff (i.e. the kitsch) is hilarious, and more nuanced than you'd expect from a bar named Donny Dirk's Zombie Den. In the corner, a small chainsaw sits inside a glass case that reads "In case of zombie attack, break glass." The bartenders all dress like Simon Pegg in "Shaun of the Dead" -- white button-up, red tie and blood stains. The friendly female servers wear long black gowns. Again: This is a classy zombie joint.
First of all, classy and zombie should never appear in the same sentence unless we're talking about an undead Mr. Peanut or Monopoly. And secondly, a zombie bar, not unlike a robot bar, is a bad idea. There's a reason you're not allowed to bring weapons into drinking establishments, you know. A stupid reason. pew pew!
Zombie resurrection [startribune]
Thanks to deadbodyman, whose dinosaur bar I always rent for my private parties.
Aug 17 2009 Canadians Create Mathematical Model For Successfully Surviving Zombie Apocalypse
Since there's no hockey on some Canadian mathematicians have shifted their efforts to creating a mathematical model for surviving the zombie uprising. And you said nothing good ever came out of Canada! That guy, right there -- he's the one that said it. GET HIM, CANUCKS!
Anyway, the model focuses on modern zombies, which are "very different from the voodoo and the folklore zombies." It takes into account the possibility of quarantine (could lead to eradication, but unlikely to happen) and treatment (some humans survive, but they still must coexist with zombies), but shows that there is only one strategy likely to succeed: "impulsive eradication."
"Only sufficiently frequent attacks, with increasing force, will result in eradication, assuming the available resources can be mustered in time," they concluded.
Pfft, I came up with a better model than that. It goes like this: me + shovel = zombie - head. Zombie - head = that zombieskin rug I've always wanted in front of the fire place! Now, who wants to make out on top of it?!? I'm not sick, you're sick.
Mathematical Model for Surviving a Zombie Attack [wired]
Thanks to Dahbie, who will survive the apocalypse no matter what because of jet propulsion (I'm coming with you).
Aug 7 2009 Seriously, I Would Eat This Brain Cupcake
I would eat this zombie brain cupcake (made by Flickr user xsomnis) and then ask for seconds. And if there aren't any seconds, well, I'm looking at your head. I WILL EAT YOUR BRAINS, SON. The hypothalamus is my favorite!
zombie food [xsomnis' Flickr]
Thanks to Jessica, who once brained a zombie with a crowbar and then licked the crowbar afterward. It's true, I saw her.
Jul 26 2009 Scientists Fear Robots Are Getting Too Smart
How would you like to wake up to this guy staring at you? You wouldn't, would you? Okay, how about the guy with the phone? I give him a maybe. Anyway, some scientists (the smart ones) fear that robot intelligence is going too far and we must do something to stop them before they stop (read: kill) us.
Impressed and alarmed by advances in artificial intelligence, a group of computer scientists is debating whether there should be limits on research that might lead to loss of human control over computer-based systems that carry a growing share of society's workload, from waging war to chatting with customers on the phone.
[They] generally discounted the possibility of highly centralized superintelligences and the idea that intelligence might spring spontaneously from the Internet. But they agreed that robots that can kill autonomously are either already here or will be soon.
That's right, AUTONOMOUS KILLER ROBOTS. You remember Twiki from Buck Rogers? He was one. Bidi-bidi-bidi!
Thanks to joe, Red, Daniel, Carmen, jabberw0ck, Rogue Cheddar, Retroprofile, Sarah, Princess Padme's Masturbation Fantasy and Patrick, who all help me fight the good fight. Fight first, pizza party second.
Jul 17 2009 I Smell A Wedgie Coming: Resident Evil Shirts
This Resident Evil shirt was made to promote the upcoming Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles and will be distributed at the upcoming San Diego Comic Con next weekend.
Well, since Darkside Chronicles is an M-Rated title, we have to have an area where only 17+ are allowed. We figured if we had to be enclosed; we might as well deck out the room and give you an awesome experience playing the game. We are going to have two separate rooms to show off the game, both dark and air conditioned, and each come equipped with banging sound systems.
All you have to do is bring a friend, play through one of the levels in co-op mode, and then you and your partner get to walk away with your very own zombie shirt. Simple.
Neat. Just be careful rocking zombie mode in public, because I, for one, won't hesitate to brain you with a shovel. Brain first, kick corpses later. AND NO COPPING FEELS. This is the word of the Geekologie Writer.
Capcom Comic Con 09: Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles [capcom]
Thanks to Jonah, towhee and meeotch, who are all elite zombie hunters sent back from the future to....oh my God you're robots.
Jun 19 2009 Augmented Reality Zombie Hunting Game
This is a video of an augmented reality game designed by the Georgia Tech Augmented Environments Lab and the Savannah College of Art and Design - Atlanta. It's called 'ARhrrrr', which, despite sounding piratey, is actually a zombie game. It's pretty cool too. You play the game with a video phone and a pack of Skittles. I shit you not, Skittles. Taste THIS rainbow, undead whores! BOOSH BOOSH!
Thanks to Ryan, Yopoleo and Anna, who will definitely be on my zombie hunting squad should the need arise....from the dead. ZING!
May 27 2009 It's About Time: A Quality Zombie Jello Mold
Tired of trying to make zombie Jello molds out of aluminum foil? Well crinkle no more my friends, ThinkGeek is finally selling a quality zombie mold! It costs $15 and isn't dishwasher safe, but don't let that stop you from putting it in there anyway! You just tell that Maytag piece of shit the Geekologie Writer told you to! I'll tell you what though -- the results look delicious, don't they? I know what I'm getting my son for his birthday -- a new mommy!
Hit the jump for one more shot which, despite adjusting the brightness and contrast, I couldn't make any more cleavage-y. Buy hey, I tried. Remember: I'm here for you.
Continue Reading " It's About Time: A Quality Zombie Jello Mold "
May 13 2009 SICK!: Fly Turns Ants Into Zombie Nurseries
The phorid fly turns fire ants into zombies by laying eggs inside them. When the larvae hatch, they eat their way to the ant's brain, which they also eat, leaving the fiery bastards to wander around like zombies before dying. Sick.
"At some point, the ant gets up and starts wandering," said Rob Plowes, a research associate at UT.
The maggot eventually migrates into the ant's head, but Plowes said he "wouldn't use the word 'control' to describe what is happening. There is no brain left in the ant, and the ant just starts wandering aimlessly. This wandering stage goes on for about two weeks."About a month after the egg is laid, the ant's head falls off and the fly emerges ready to attack any foraging ants away from the mound and lay eggs.
ZOMG -- it's head falls off. That reminds me of the time I was getting it on with a velociraptor when my parents came home early so I tried stuffing him in the closet but accidentally slammed the door closed on his neck and his head fell off. I buried it in the backyard, but I kept the body. What? It's okay if it's a dinosaur!
Hit the jump for a video of the flies in action (first video) as well as another of what jewel wasps do to cockroaches (same concept of zombification, but with a completely different method (read: injecting venom straight into the brain)).
Continue Reading " SICK!: Fly Turns Ants Into Zombie Nurseries "
Apr 12 2009 Woody Harrelson Assaults 'Zombie' Paparazzo
And in celebrity-related undead news, Woody Harrelson beat up a photographer and blamed it on the fact he thought the dude was a zombie. Good lookin', Woody.
Harrelson, who is being sued by another TMZ photographer for an alleged assault in 2006, did not deny his involvement.
"I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," Harrelson said in a statement issued Friday by his publicist."With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie," he said.
Ha, quite understandably is right. But seriously, Woody, how'd you sneak weed on the plane?
Woody Harrelson claims he mistook photographer for zombie [cnn]
Thanks to Larry, RyanThePerson, Evan and 4thirty, who once beat up a group of vampire paparazzi before realizing they were just a bunch of pale Twihards trying to score a picture of Robert Patteson.
Mar 31 2009 Frost The Head And The Body Will Die
This is a zombie cake loyal Geekologie Reader Carol made for her boyfriend. It really made me hope that, somewhere out there, a woman is honing her baking skills and waiting to meet me. Of course, I'm not holding my breath. But I am holding my penis hopes up. Per Carol:
Apparently there isn't much of a market for face/limb based cakes so just purchasing molds was out. I ended up using about 5 layers of aluminum foil and shaped them in to a half assed face and hand.
Coat the molds with cooking spray and put them in to standard baking pans, it helps to re-enforce the mold with balled up foil underneath so it doesn't distort under the weight of the cake.Slap your cakey zombie bits on to a sheet or round cake and get creative...
I used a shit ton of green food coloring, lindor truffles for eyes, and white chocolate for the teeth/finger nails.
Good looking, Carol. Or should I say, "NHAAAR, BRAAAAAAINS"! Oh, I shouldn't? Okay. Well good looking, Carol. Or should I say, "good tasting"? No? "NOM NOM"? I'd hit that shit like a corpse!
Thanks to Carol, who actually came up with that whole frosting the head bit, I'm just a thief. You see this? Yeah, that's your heart.
Mar 18 2009 Tool Box Must: Multi-Purpose Halligan Rescues Kittens From Burning Buildings And Brains Zombies With Equal Dexterity
The Halligan Bar is a tool used by both fire fighters and rescue workers to bash open doors, pry shit off other shit, and all around beat the hell out of stuff. And now you can own one. The 30" bar is available in alloy steel (10 lbs, $195) and titanium (5.25 lbs, $555) and is a must-have for anybody with any interest in surviving the zombie apocalypse. Just imagine a zombie's head on the end of that thing. Oh I'm sorry, did I just get you excited? Good, meet me in the janitor's closet in five. Now, don't get up as the same time as me, someone might get suspicious. Or, in The Superficial Writer's case, jealous. THERE WAS NO SPARK -- move on already.
Halligan Bar [cooltools]
Thanks to hayden, who once punched a zombie in the mouth so hard all its teeth fell out so hayden gathered them all up and put them under a pillow but the tooth fairy didn't come. What a sham!
Feb 27 2009 Mmmm, Brains: Delicious AND Nutritious
Maybe the zombies got something right after all. Brains, as it turns out, are chock-full of healthy cholesterol. You know, the kind that makes your heart stop. That's right, a single 5.5 oz can of pork brains contains 3,500mg of heart-arresting deliciousness -- about 1170% of your daily value. Bet you can't eat just one!
The "Worst Food Product Ever" May Have Been Found [consumerist]
Thanks to twellve, who ate two cans and then puked worse than she ever has in her life.
Feb 18 2009 Toadstool Brains: A Super Mario Zombie Shirt
Zombie Mario, who would have thought? Not me, but that's because I'm not creative. One time in grade school our teacher told us to draw a made-up animal and I drew a cat. I did not receive full credit. And that, dear reader, is how I developed a stuttering problem. But that's neither here nor there, just traumatizing. This Zombario t-shirt costs $16 and features everybody's favorite mushroom munchin' fool out on the prowl for brains. And as you can see, he found some. Toadstool's. Ha, he's probably tripping his ass off right now, just look at his eyes. So dreamy. *swoon*
zombie mario must have run out of extra lives [technabob]
Jan 29 2009 Aaaaand The Roadsign Hacking Has Begun
Are you surprised? Of course not. What's there to be surprised about? You post an article about how to hack something, and people try it. Simple as that.
(Traffic Controller Bruce) Jones, who has one of only two keys to the locked access panels on the portable signs, said that the hacker broke into the panels [arguable] on each sign and bypassed the passwords before leaving five different zombie messages and even changing one of the passwords. Jones said he had to wait until 8 a.m. to call the manufacturing company to figure out how to override the hacker's work [Bruce, please see original article]. He speculated that the hacker could be a computer genius from UT.
A computer genius from UT! Or, I dunno, somebody who read an article on the internet. Whatever the case, the zombie thing was cute in the beginning folks, but it's time to start thinking outside the brain. The robots are coming too, you know.
Hit the jump for the other five messages left on the signs and the link to a video news report.
Dec 24 2008 Scientists Say 'Sex Chips' Are Coming Soon
Sex chips. My God, what if they come in honey bbq flavor?
The chip works by sending tiny shocks from implanted electrodes in the brain.
Neurosurgery professor Tipu Aziz, said: "There is evidence that this chip will work. A few years ago a scientist implanted such a device into the brain of a woman with a low sex drive and turned her into a very sexually active woman. She didn't like the sudden change, so the wiring in her head was removed."An electronic machine, named the Orgasmatron (pictured above), taken from the 1973 Woody Allen film Sleeper, is already under development by a North Carolina doctor, who is modifying a spinal cord stimulator to produce pleasure in women.
I mean, this is great and all, but for the ultimate in pleasure, I've got two words for you: me. Baby, I will take you places you've never been. Including, but not limited to: the emergency room, and Advance Auto. Ladies?
'Sex chip' being developed by scientists [telegraph]
Thanks to Pete, who, behind me (not literally), is the world's 2nd greatest lover. It's true, he even has the coffee mug to prove it.
Oct 21 2008 Sweet!: Custom Intramural Zombie Hunter T's
Hunt zombies? Want to get started? Well what better way than with a custom Intramural Zombie Hunter t-shirt from Seibei. Each $24 shirt comes with a custom (your choice) name and number on the back and option of none, some, more, or lots of hand-applied gore. The shirt makes a perfect Halloween costume, but is definitely acceptable for everyday wear. Then, when you're caught braining some poor bastard in the road for jaywalking, you can just play it off to the woman that saw you. "Read the freaking shirt, it says right here Intramural Zombie Hunter, I think I know a zombie when I see one. Ha, so it is a vintage Led Zeppelin concert tee. Zombie shirt must be in the wa....HOLY SHIT, WHAT'S THAT?! *THWACK* *THWACK TWACK* *poke*
NOTE: Oh, almost forgot: still in New Orleans, having trouble leaving (read: don't want to). Going to see the Rebirth Brass Band tonight at the Maple Leaf. Come down if you're in the area.
