Oct 5 2009 For The Apocalypse: Bra Turns To Gas Masks
Doctor Elena Bodner won this year's Ig Noble Prize for Public Health with a bra designed to turn into two functional gas masks should the need arise (and why wouldn't it?).
The aim of the awards is to honour achievements that "first make people laugh and then make them think".
The Ig Nobel Prizes were presented to the winners by genuine Nobel laureates.Past winners also returned to take part in the celebrations. They included Kees Moeliker, the discoverer of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck, and Dr Francis Fesmire, who devised the digital rectal massage as cure for intractable hiccups.
Wow, what an elite group. You've got to admit though, a gas mask bra is pretty clever. Granted, not as clever as the gas mask underwear I just invented, but you act like you've never seen a guy with worn panties on his face before. THIS IS NORMAL IN JAPAN!
Hit the jump for the worthwhile complete list of winners.
Continue Reading " For The Apocalypse: Bra Turns To Gas Masks "
Jun 17 2009 A Magical Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder
The Magic Missile Massage Bra from Pangao is supposed to make you breasts larger through the use of a little sorcerer and massaging "forceful vibration balls". Yes, forceful vibration balls. Plus, it comes standard with a pretty sweet spiderweb pattern. But what else can it do?
- Make breast up.
- Dredge breast glands.
- Eliminate blood stasis.
- Effectively prevent women from breasts diseases and flaccid
- Also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure.
- If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal secretion.
Pretty convincing, huh? I know, I just bought thirty and my breasts were already huge! I plan on wearing them all one on top of the other for exponential tissue growth. ZZ's, here I come! I may need a bigger wheelbarrow.
Magic Massage Bra Enlarges Breasts [gizmodo]
Thanks to ffffffffff, who is offering free massages if you're concerned about the safety of using forceful vibration balls.
Apr 24 2009 Bra Deflects Bullet, Saves Woman's Life
A Detroit woman's life was saved when a shot fired at her was deflected by the underwire in her bra, leaving her with only minor injuries.
The woman, who lives on the west side of Detroit, had seen the youths breaking into the house next door while her neighbour was away. Police believe one of the gang saw her looking out of the window and fired at her.
The suspects then drove away after the shooting.Local police Sgt Eren Stephens Bell told the Detroit News: "We need to get some bulletproof vests made from that. It is some strong wire."
Yeah you do, Sergeant. You need bulletproof vests made from the underwire in a 57-year old's bra. Because I'm sure the lingerie company doesn't just buy used coat hangers from the nearest dry cleaner. But they do. That's exactly what they do.
Bullet bounces off US woman's bra [bbcnews]
Thanks to Flash Dave, Chuck Nunchuck, and JMR, who only recommend women wear bras when in fear of being shot.
Feb 20 2009 Toasty: Bra Dryer Heats Your Hooter Holsters
The BraDryer concept is a dryer for your lacy boulder holders. The ones you don't want going in the regular dryer. As you can see, it looks like a pair of knockers, which led to this burn on my hand. Obviously, it was worth it. *TSSSSSSS* I copped another one!
Bra Dryer is the Most Useful Device Shaped Like a Pair of Boobs Ever [gizmodo]
Thanks to Crystal, who gets to see real boobs all the time because shes has some. Unfortunately, so do I. :(
Feb 9 2009 Ties: Because Your Neck Deserves A Flag
These $25 ties are made out of 100% synthetic materials, feature classic video game scenes, and can be purchased from a tribe of warrior women. Plus, they're absolutely perfect for the tech blogger who wants to pretend he's a businessman. I'll admit it: I love playing dress up. I have three older sisters so I spent much of my youth parading around the house in a dress with makeup caked all over me. Ahh, those were the days. Now I lay around the apartment in my boxers and have to wait for my girlfriend to go to work before I can even put one of her bras on. It's stifling -- and, damnit, she wore my favorite pumps to work today.
Stylish Classic Gaming Ties [ohgizmo]
Nov 20 2008 The World Is Ending, And I Need Better Support: That's Right Folks, Man-Bras
Remember the Seinfeld episode about man-bras (bros)? I'm trying to forget it. But man-bras actually do exist, and here they are. Made by Japanese underwearier Wish Room, each man-bra promises support where you need it most: right at the tit. And as a man who's no stranger to trying on his girlfriend's bras while she's in the shower: I like to put on a little makeup too. Just a little foundation, eyeliner, mascara, blush, and lipstick -- nothing crazy.
HIt the jump for a bunch more disturbing pictures.
Continue Reading " The World Is Ending, And I Need Better Support: That's Right Folks, Man-Bras "
Oct 6 2008 Now That's What I Call Good American Politics Volume 18: The American Titty Committee
Now boobs are an issue I can get behind. And by get behind I mean mush my face in between.
Thanks to Jason, who knows that breasts are our nation's most valuable resource.
Jun 24 2008 Melon-Powered Device Chargers Coming
So I'm making today Kinetic Energy Day on Geekologie. First the Dance Charger, and now the possibility of bra electitricity.
It turns out that the physics of breast motion have been studied closely for the last two decades by a gamut of researchers, most of them women with the exception of The Geekologie Writer. LaJean Lawson, a former professor of exercise science at Oregon State University, has studied breast motion since 1985 and now works as a consultant for companies like Nike to develop better sports bra designs.
Lawson explained that breasts move on three different axes: from side to side, front to back, and up and down. The most motion is generated on the vertical axis. Naturally, the bigger the breast, the more momentum it generates. "Let's face it--if you're a double-A marathoner, you're probably not going to get that iPod up and running," Lawson said. Measurements compiled by Lawson and her colleagues show that a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down (35 inches!) during exercise, while a B-cup in a high-support bra barely moves an inch.
ZOINKS! Honestly, I have no idea if boob-power is possible or not because I stopped reading the article there and started speculating with The Superficial Writer if there's a chick in the world with the melons to jump start a car. What can I say, we're scientists.
Victoria's Circuit - Harnessing the untapped power of breast motion [slate]
Thanks Chuck and Katlyn, I'll never look at knockers the same way again.
May 14 2008 Solar Boulder Holder Powers A Little Sign
Triumph International, a Japanese firm that really triumphs in the global lingerie market, has created the Solar Brasserie (not to be confused with the solar bikini or solar dress). It's a bustier that looks like it was made out of carpet and has a flexible solar panel pinned on. It also comes with some unusual looking padding that I thought typically went on the inside of lingerie. But what do I know? I'm not a underwear manufacturer, I'm just a man with a penchant for bra-ripened chestmelons. Oh, did I mention the solar panel powers a little scrolling sign? Because it does, and it can be programmed to read whatever the wearer desires like, "TSA - I swear this isn't a bomb" and "$50 for 30 minutes".
One more worthwhile picture of a sexy model (I actually mean it this time) wearing the thing after the jump.
Continue Reading " Solar Boulder Holder Powers A Little Sign "
May 14 2008 Japanese Hooter Pudding: Definitely Not The Stuff Bill Cosby Used To Sell, But Should've
Japanese hooter pudding (aka double D deliciousness) are pudding packs that come in the shape of everyone's favorite pillows. That's right, inside the seemingly innocent packaging are two scrumtittilyumptios pudding receptacles. Sheer marketing genius. I love sweater yams and pudding, so this is a match made in heaven for me. Say, did I ever tell you about the time a lady friend and I messed around with some chocolate pudding in the sack? Yeah, it looked like someone shat the bed.
Two NSFW pictures of what's under the packaging, after the jump.
Oh, and can someone send me some?
Aug 13 2007 Solar Powered Bikini and Gaming Bra
The Siggraph 2007 Convention (Special Interest Group for Computer Graphics) went down last week and there were a number of interesting innovations displayed. Among them was an updated solar powered bikini that was first shown in 2006. The bikini generates enough power to charge an iPod or cell phone. I had this idea years ago, except it was a pair of men's swim trunks. The only problem was that the world doesn't produce enough solar cells to cover my ding dong. I would have been able to power the whole state though.
New this year was a bra and boxer set that can be used to control different aspects of video games. Which is pretty sweet, because Hold on to the Boobies might very well be my most favorite game ever. Just a heads up though folks, stay away from one player mode - it's not fun.
Solar Powered Bikini and Gaming Bra [Gizmodo]
