Nov 2 2009 You're Doing It Wrong: Crazy Fork Lift Accident
I got to operate a fork lift once, and let me tell you: I've never seen Lowe's employees run so fast. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED PAINT MIXED?! Anyway, this is a horrible fork lift accident that destroys nearly $250K of precious vodka in distribution center. Oh the humanity! Still, it is pretty awesome. And by awesome I mean devastating. And by devastating I mean very, very awesome. FULL CIRCLE BABY, who's down for an elephant walk?!
Fork Lift Accident Brings Down The Warehouse [break]
Thanks to Closet Nerd, Zach and Kelly, who don't destroy booze, booze destroys them. Same here, guys.
Aug 26 2009 I Would Hit That Like Vending Machine With A Stuck Bag Of Chips: XBox Controller Bento
This is a bento box made by Laura Bento (that would be like me being named Charles Blog!) for her husband's lunch. It looks pretty delicious. And I'm not just saying that because the only thing I've had to eat was a stale biscuit for lunch yesterday, but I am starting to see mirages.
The controller itself is obviously mostly comprised of rice, but the D-Pad was constructed from naturally grey Konnyaku (Japanese yam cake), while lemon peel, green apple peel, red pepper and dyed blue egg white make up the four colorful buttons.
Geez, look at all that SPAM. I sure hope Laura's husband works in a toilet testing factory. Get it? Because I heard he likes to eat on the john! Hey, me too!
Xbox 360 Bento Box Puts Real Xbox 360 to Shame [gizmodo]
Thanks to Heather, who once bento boxed a Sumo wrestler and won in the first round.
Aug 19 2009 Screw Mother Nature: HP Shipping Fail
Not to be outdone by Dell's L337 shipping practices, HP decided to ramp up their efforts to show that THEY hate this planet even more. What's in the box? Hit the jump to find out. And no, it's not a tiger. But good guess.
Hit it. DO IT NOW!
Mar 29 2009 Questionable Women's Razor Commercial
This is a questionable commercial for the Shick Quattro For Women TrimStyle with Bikini Trimmer. I'm outraged it was allowed to air because my six-year old just asked me about "those transforming bushes". You know what I told him? Decepticons.
Thanks to "Captain Partytime" Mike, who may wreck the ship, but he'll have one hell of a good time doing it.
Mar 5 2009 Wait, Where'd He Go?: Urban Camoflauge
There's a robot war to be fought, and regular camo simply won't do. Enter Urban Camouflage, a new kind of outwear that keeps you safe and hidden from a robot's lifeless stare. Urban camouflage comes in three different styles: boxes, bags, and, um, file folders or something. Hit the jump to see them all. Then make your own and practice hiding. LOOK OUT -- ROBOT BEHIND YOU! Haha -- not really, but I wanted you to realize the importance of the situation. Now go change your pants and make some camo.
Hit it for the rest and a link to a much larger gallery.
Feb 11 2009 'Invisible' Treehouse Hotel Is Hard To Find
Let's face it, we all want to live in treehouses. Unfortunately, I purchased all the remaining trees on earth, so it looks like you suckers are out of luck. Hey, there's always telephone poles. Also, I will be selling acorns for $1,000 a pop. Anyway, this is a treehouse hotel constructed of mirrored glass by Swedish architectural firm Tham & Videgard Hansson Arkitekter.
It is an old architectural trick used since the invention of mirrored glass: covering buildings with the reflective material and declaring that they blend in with the surroundings. Most architects use it to convince wary citizens that it is OK if their building is tall because it will reflect the sky and nature. The rendering always makes the building disappear, and the reality is always a big clunky mirrored box.
I like it. And not just because I was conceived in a treehouse. Because I wasn't -- I was conceived in the trunk of an Oldsmobile after a drug deal gone horribly wrong. Oh, I'm sorry -- was that too romantic to tell this close to Valentine's?
Hit the jump for schematics of what the inside looks like.
Continue Reading " 'Invisible' Treehouse Hotel Is Hard To Find "
Feb 7 2009 What Should I Eat?: The Bacon Flowchart
If it's too small click HERE for the full-size version.
This has been floating around the intarwebz for a while now, so you may have already seen it. If you have, good for you -- where was the tip earlier, huh? Exactly, you're a jerk. Now buy me a beer. Wait, I want a liquor drink. A pink one.
Bacon Flowchart [ummyeah]
Thanks to Yopoleo, who chose bacon over Beggin' Strips 3 out of 4 times in a blind taste test.
Jan 22 2009 Forget Rubik's, I Want A Yoshimoto Cube
A Yoshimoto Cube is actually two separate cubes nested together. The technical terminology for the change is "the transformation of two stellated rhombic dodecahedrons from a cube". Honestly, I just like listening to this guy's voice. It's soothing, like a homicidal maniac's.
Youtube
Thanks to OJ's Mom, who once transformed a stellated cylinder in his pants into a dodickahardon IN YO FACE!
Jan 11 2009 Pixelated Beauties: I'm Just Gonna Pretend They're Naked LEGO Women, Whoo-Whoo!
NOTE: GALLERY PROBABLY NSFW.
This is a gallery of probably NSFW pixelated naked chicks by artist/photographer Jean-Yves Lemoigne. Hit the jump for an uncensored version of this pic, as well as several others. And I must say: Yow yow! They look like super sexy naked LEGO chicks, don't they? This handkerchief says yes! And also, "For The Superficial Writer's tears only". Woopsie.
Hit the jump for the steamy action that, when viewed from across the room, sort of looks like a naked chick if you squint really hard and shake your head.
Continue Reading " Pixelated Beauties: I'm Just Gonna Pretend They're Naked LEGO Women, Whoo-Whoo! "
Jan 8 2009 Whee: Watch Walmart Spread Like A Virus!
Walmart: where else can you go drink and have shopping cart races at 3 AM? Ha, besides my underground race track? Nowhere, that's where. Now click here to watch an interactive map of Walmart's virus-like growth from 1964 to 2007. As you can see, the big-box giant has been invading America like a disease for 45 years. Just imagine: if every Walmart store was actually a giant robot. We'd all be dead as shit! Now somebody get Hollywood on the phone -- I smell an Oscar.
Watching the Growth of Walmart Across America [flowingdata]
via
The Andromeda Strain [splicetoday]
Thanks to Andrew, who doesn't know anything about viruses because he's clean. Ladies? Sorry Andrew, I tried.
Dec 9 2008 I'd Eat It: Video Game Inspired Bento Boxes
Mmmm, bento boxes. They combine two of my favorite things. Bento. And boxes. Apparently Anna the red makes these delicious lunches for her boyfriend, who might very well be the luckiest guy in the world. You don't want to lose this one, boyfriend-guy. Hold on tight, man. Then yell RODEO!
Hit the jump for the rest, including some Yoshi, Professor Layton, Companion Cube and WALL-E action.
Continue Reading " I'd Eat It: Video Game Inspired Bento Boxes "
Dec 4 2008 Toby Jones Stores Your Stuff On The Cheap
God, I wish he offered a babysitting service too.
Thanks to Jake, who's used Toby's services and swears they're legit. Well, as legit as $11 storage can be.
Nov 25 2008 Google Employees Create Spreadsheet Art
This is a time-lapse video of three Google employees creating an 18,600 cell mosaic in a spreadsheet. As you will see, it has a nice wintry theme. Namely, snowflakes. Personally, I would have gone with Frosty bending Santa over his sleigh for not bringing him the new corncob pipe he wanted, while Mrs. Claus watches from the kitchen window and bakes those delicious cookies of hers. But I don't get paid to sit around and make spreadsheet art. I get paid to sit around and desecrate your Christmas memories. Happy holidays bitches!
18,600-Cell Spreadsheet Mosaic Captured On Time-Lapse Video [gizmodo]
Thanks to Harrison, who's allegedly keeping Frosty's head alive in his freezer.
Nov 19 2008 Solid Snake Escapes Prison In Cardboard Box
A Turkish man, who may or may not be a fan of the Metal Gear Solid series, but who I am dubbing Solid Turkish Snake anyways, escaped German prison in a cardboard box.
The man hid in the box at the end of a shift of his prison job of making stationery and was carried out by a courier service along with other boxes. The inmate then cut through a tarp in the truck and jumped out shortly after the vehicle left the prison grounds. The driver eventually noticed the tarp flapping in the wind and reported the cut to the police.
Wait a minute -- job making stationery? No wonder the poor bastard wanted to escape so bad. Pressing license plates I can understand, but making stationery? That's just cruel and unusual.
Prison Inmate Escapes Jail Using Cardboard Box [snagwiremedia]
Thanks to Kevin, who once escaped a POW camp in a paper airplane. And Saul, who fled an undesirable woman's house in the morning when he rolled the toilet paper out the window, slid down the roll and had an escape.
Oct 28 2008 Tuttuki Bako (aka The Fingerbang Game)
Tuttuki Bako is a new video game where a player interacts with the device by sticking their finger in a hole. Your finger then appears on the LCD screen, and you can make contact with the characters in the game. If you can even call this a game -- all I saw was some chick fingerbanging a plastic box. Which was totally awesome in its own right. And its own wrong. Mostly wrong. Still, I think we can all agree that by the time you read this you've already considered sticking your penis in it.
Hit the jump for two more game videos.
Sep 3 2008 Star Trek Set Built Out Of Rice Krispie Boxes
Mmmm, looks delicious, doesn't it? Sure does. Self proclaimed Trekkie and Krispie Bob Prior built various Star Trek sets out of Rice Krispie boxes. Why? Because they're goddamn delicious, that's why.
His 50 models include the Starship Enterprise, its command bridge and captains James T Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard.
The car park attendant, who says his favorite characters are Kirk, Scotty and McCoy, took six months to put together his cardboard collection, and roped in sons Nigel, 25, and Daniel, 20.
Uh-oh, this is worse than I thought. Run away, Nigel and Daniel. Run away from your virginity! Let the old man build all the cereal ships he wants, he's already stuck eating the same brand everyday. But for you, there are still options -- Lucky Charms, Raisin Nut Bran, Cookie Crisp, and, if you swing that way, Fruity Pebbles and Honey Bunches of Nuts. The point is, taste the different flavors before it's too late! Ha, you see what I did there? I used cereal as a metaphor for being sexually promiscuous. You just got your RDA of Literary Krispies!
Hit the jump for a picture of some ships and the man himself.
Continue Reading " Star Trek Set Built Out Of Rice Krispie Boxes "
Jul 29 2008 Homemade Transfomer Out Of Cigarette Box
This is a stop-motion video of some cigarette box Transformers. Well, they're not all cigarette boxes. I distinctly recall matchbox and condom box robots as well. The video is pretty well made although I did feel a seizure coming on a couple times. Did I mention this is probably old and you've already seen it before? You probably downloaded it off some Transformer forum in the early 90's when you were using CompuServe dialup at 14.4 kbit/s and pkunzipping nudey pics off the 3½ floppy your friend gave you. Please, tell me the story, I'm here to listen.
Youtube
Thanks to Lee, lord of audio, for the tip
Jul 21 2008 Run By Monkeys?: HP's Shipping Department
HP just flipped Mother Nature the bird and shipped sixteen 2-page software licenses inside a huge freaking box. Inside the box were another 16 smaller boxes, each containing a single two-page license (picture of the big box after the jump). Now I'm not saying this infraction warrants a bag of packing peanuts be crammed up the shipping department's collective ass, but I am strongly hinting at it. And, I dunno, maybe sealing the hole with some packing tape. Can't have those peanuts getting loose, bad for the environment.
Hit the jump for the big box.
Continue Reading " Run By Monkeys?: HP's Shipping Department "
Apr 11 2008 Kit-In Box Prevents Unwanted Keyboard Cats
Kit-In Box is not exactly what it sounds like. I thought it was going to be a box you order that comes with a kitten (like a Cabbage Patch doll, but furry and alive). It's not. It's a little wooden bed that clamps to the side of your desk so your feline friends don't sleep on your keyboard (as they are so fond of) when you're trying to work. They cost $50 and come in cherry, birch, and mahogany finishes. I need several, because my girlfriend has four cats. Well, three cats. One beaver.
A picture of what the unit looks like with two little dogs in it, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Kit-In Box Prevents Unwanted Keyboard Cats "
Nov 13 2007 Clam Shell Opener Opens Packages Easily
The Dual Bladed EZ Clam Shell Opener from ThinkGeek is a device made for opening those annoying-as-hell clamshells that everything I buy seems to come in these days. It'll set you back $5, and in an ironic twist, the "Product comes in clam shell packaging (the last one you'll ever struggle to open!)". Oh the hilarity! Too bad I ordered one a week ago and now it's sitting in a pile with the rest of unopened clam shells. You see, I'm not allowed to use scissors anymore without adult supervision. You stab yourself in the head three times...
