Sep 4 2009 Gyro Kid's Bowl Makes Spilling More Difficult
Let's face it: kids were born to make your life a living hell and wreak havoc on your house and mental health whenever possible (note: this is all speculation, I don't actually have any kids. ANYMORE -- they're all growed up!). So why not minimize the damage the little imps can do to your kitchen with a $10 Gyro Toddler Food Bowl? "No matter which way the handles of this bowl are turned, the food in the middle stays upright." Awesome. Wait -- is that caramel corn? TODDLERS DON'T EAT CARAMEL CORN!! What are you, trying to kill the little bastard? Cause you know they fetch a pretty penny on the black market. I mean, I'VE HEARD. Firsthand (meet me behind the Dollar General).
Mar 2 2009 Do You See What Happens, Larry?
This is older so you may have already seen it. It's the scene from The Big Lebowski when Walter is beating the hell out of "Larry's" car with a crowbar. Except it was edited for television, making it perfectly SFW. Do you see what happens, Larry?? This is what happens, Larry!
Thanks to Mike, who doesn't want to see what happens.
Jan 22 2009 Wear Your Effing Wriststrap!: Woman Hits Dog With Wiimote, Killing It, Neighbor Revives
Kathy White hit her five-month old miniature Sheltie, Ozzy, in the head with a Wiimote when she was bowling with her daughter. Note: she didn't actually throw the remote, she was still holding it.
"We had just got the Wii for Christmas," explained owner Kathy White, "so we were trying it out, and that's when Alexis and I were bowling and Ozzy was standing by me and he jumped up and I hit him in the temple and killed him instantly."
Her first instinct was to call her neighbor Pene Honey for help.
Thankfully, Pene managed to come over and revive the dog with a little mouth to nose action.
Now she knows you have to be careful when playing a Wii.
"I just want people to be aware of their environment," White said, "especially small dogs and children so this doesn't happen to them. Because it was a horrifying experience and I don't want anyone to go through this."
I take it you didn't read the instructions before playing, did you, Kathy? No? Didn't notice the warning screen either? Jesus, how have you not died in a kitchen fire? Kathy White: astonishingly still alive after 40 years of not following instructions.
Hit the jump for a video report that will make you want to call animal services.
Jan 13 2009 President-Elect Barack Obama Plays Wii
That's right folks, the soon-to-be president is rocking a Wii. And thank goodness too, because in an earlier interview Barack claimed the last video game he'd played was Pong. So yeah, whew.
Barack Obama reportedly said he's better at the Wii version of bowling than he was at the real thing while on the campaign trail in Pennsylvania last year.This knowledge is courtesy of a passing reference Thursday by a New York Times blogger, who buried it in his last paragraph, unaware that the Wii news, rather than Obama's (accurate) prediction that Florida would win college football's championship game, would light up the Internets the next day.
So, Barack, maybe you could add me to your friends list. Then our Wii Miis could parade together. That would be fun, wouldn't it? Also, quick question: are you man enough to play wrist-strapless? Because I am. Isn't that right, Superficial Writer? Ha, your TV was a piece of shit anyways.
Barack Obama's family gets a Wii video game system; so what does his Mii look like? [chicagotribune]
Thanks to Lisa, who is chock-full of Wii win.
Dec 16 2008 Well, That Made My Day: A Wii Accident
I love the way he starts crying for his mommy and slapping the TV like that'll magically make the screen uncrack. Remember: they give you wrist straps for a reason -- they make pretty bracelets!
What a Wiimote to the TV Actually Looks Like [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who doesn't break TVs playing Wii because he has a HD projector -- that comes out of his penis. It's true, he plays movies for people on the subway. Also, thanks to Richthegringo, who caught a showing of the Dark Knight.
Feb 28 2008 You Deserve It: Home Installed Bowling Lanes
Are you a bowling fanatic? Does seeing The Big Lebowski give you a boner? If so then you're not invited over to watch it this weekend. Just kidding, you're more than welcome. But if you just plain love bowling and hate having to leave the house to hit the lanes, then how about getting your own installed? United Bowling will install two regulation lanes (complete with pin setter-upper, ball return and computer scoring) in your home for a paltry $88,000. Unfortunately I called and that cost does not include building the necessary 88' x 12' x 10' room. So, yeah. Thought I was going to pull a fast one on them. Nope. I still managed to sneak in the "Do you carry 12lb balls?" joke though. Freaking classic. I'm throwing rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude.
Another picture of the lanes, and a DIY video of some guy that made a 10ft lane in his garage, after the jump. If you watch the video make sure to notice the pin hit the camera at 0:37.
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