Nov 17 2009 Bomb-Proof Wallpaper: But Is It Wolf-Proof?
Berry Plastics and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers teamed up to develop X-Flex, a wallpaper with woven Kevlar strong enough to prevent bomb blasts from blowing all your shit up. Nice, but is it Big Bad Wolf proof? That mother can huff and puff!
X-Flex works so well that the armed forces are considering redecorating its army bases in Iraq and Afghanistan with the stuff. And, mindful of the commercial value, Berry Plastics is considering manufacturing a version for civilians
There's a video of the guys at Popular Science hitting the paper with a wrecking ball after the jump, which, at least according to my code of testing, didn't prove anything. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BOMB PROOF, WHO CARES IF IT'S WRECKING BALL PROOF? No, if you want real bomb-proof safety, you need to buy my anti-bomb bombs. Basically, when a bomb detonates it sets these ones off and the explosions are equal but different and everything is gravy. Trust me, I know fisics.
Hit it for the video.
Continue Reading " Bomb-Proof Wallpaper: But Is It Wolf-Proof? "
Jun 2 2009 Best Website EVER (Geekologie Excluded)
Explosionsandboobs.com is just that. Explosions. And. Boobs. That's it. Every time you visit you get one shot of an explosion and one of sweater melons. Nothing to read (minus "and"), just awesomesauce in its rawest form. BOOM! Boobs. Just like that.
Thanks to jonat8han, who has a crazy ass numeral in the middle of his name. And to D-Bizz, who doesn't.
Mar 20 2009 Underwater Volcano: Ka-Boom Shacka Lacka!
That's right folks, an underwater volcano off the coast of Tonga (near Fiji) has been erupting recently, causing all kinds of mean-nasty things to happen. Just kidding. There has been some smoke and ash though.
Scientists sailed Thursday to inspect an undersea volcano that has been erupting for days near Tonga -- shooting smoke, steam and ash thousands of feet into the sky above the South Pacific ocean.Authorities said Thursday the eruption does not pose any danger to islanders at this stage, and there have been no reports of fish or other animals being affected.
Really, no reports of fish or animals being affected? I find that a little hard to believe. Come on now folks, I'm not five anymore, I can take some deceased fishes. Seriously, you don't have secretly replace my dead hamster with one that looks like him. Wait, you did what? NOOOOOOO -- NOT MR. CHEEKEYS! WAAAAAAAAA, I JUST WANT TO DIE!
Hit the jump for a worthwhile VIDEO of the action.
Continue Reading " Underwater Volcano: Ka-Boom Shacka Lacka! "
Mar 12 2009 Geekologie Reader Makes Left 4 Dead Pipe Bomb Cake, I'd Detonate It -- In My Mouth!
Loyal Geekologie Reader Ross made himself a Left 4 Dead pipe bomb cake. He had this to say about his incendiary delectable:
I made a Left 4 Dead pipe bomb cake and it sort of looks awful and awesome both at the same time.
Truer words have never been written, Ross. Am I right? I am. What was that -- who said I wasn't? Oh helllllll no -- boy, don't make me drop a nom nom bomb on that ass!
Thanks Ross, I hope it wasn't explosive on it's way out. HIYO!
Feb 24 2009 Okay, Sure: A Golden AT-AT iPod Dock
Not to be outdone by yesterday's AT-AT boombox, some cat went and made an AT-AT iPod dock. Which is basically an AT-AT toy with an electronic turntable glued to the side and spray painted gold. Neat. Might be just the thing I need to add a little geeky flair to my bedroom. Just saying, I made buttermilk pancakes for breakfast. With sprinkles, bitches. Who's gangster?
Hit the jump for two closeups.
Jan 30 2009 Really, Really Bad Idea: An MP3 Grenade
Folks, I've had a lot of really bad ideas in my life. And followed through with most of them. But that's neither here nor there, because one thing I never did was mod an inactive grenade into an MP3 player. Inside, modder Matt stuffed a 2GB Sansa Clip MP3 player. Hey Matt, you ever hear the story about that one guy that suspected that other guy of being a terrorist and called Homeland Security on him? Yeah, what's your address?
Hit the jump for another view of the guts.
Continue Reading " Really, Really Bad Idea: An MP3 Grenade "
Jan 21 2009 My Turn, My Turn!: Cat Rides Subwoofer
We already discovered cats have a penchant for Roombas, but who knew the little fish-loving shit machines love riding subwoofers as well? Not me. But, as is evident from the video, its like an amusement park ride for the little furballs. Toss some catnip into the mix and it'll be just like that time I got high and puked in Space Mountain. Fun!
Cat Gets Good Vibrations From Subwoofer [gizmodo]
Dec 9 2008 Don't Stand Too Close To A Cuckoo Speaker!
The cuckoo speaker may look like an ordinary speaker, but when the music gets loud enough the speaker in the bottom pops out like one of those spring-loaded boxing gloves! I bet it sounds like shit! But regardless, to compliment the speaker, I've come up with a similar idea for televisions. Check this out: so it looks like a regular TV, right? But when there are naked chicks on the screen my pants shoot off! Move over Thomas Edison, your ass just got invented son!
Cuckoo Loudspeaker pushes the speaker into the room [dvice]
Sep 2 2008 Highly Questionable: The DJ Mobile
The DJ Mobile was built by Dutch artist Olaf Mooij and looks like the lovechild of a subcompact that f***ed a rocketship. The deafening piece was inspired by a song called "God is a DJ" and the Pope-mobile. I'd prefer the bulletproof bubble myself, but I have a lot of enemies. Unfortunately, the DJ mobile isn't meant to be used while driving, making it infinitely less cool than I originally imagined. Which, if you want to get all scientifical, wasn't even cool. Still, I would pour sugar in the gas tank.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the eardrum popper.
Aug 18 2008 Kids Add Audio Systems To Their Bikes
A group of immigrant teens from Trinidad that now live in Queens, New York call themselves the Stereobike crew and add bad-to-the-ass audio systems to their bicycles. Systems that put the boombox I keep in my front basket to shame. The speakers, powered by car batteries and run through amps, output thousands of watts, capable of rattling the paint clean off my Prism. Just imagine, when these kids are old enough to drive and start buying their own cars -- they're gonna get broken into and their stereos stolen.
Hit the jump for several more pictures.
Jul 29 2008 Guy's Mower Won't Start, He Shoots It
Keith Walendowski is (based on his picture) the last man in the world I'd expect to be a raging alcoholic and own illegal weaponry. But he is, and he does. One day, Keith, who had already eaten his bourbon breakfast, decided to partake in a little Russian-toe-roulette and mow his yard (which, incidentally, is also his mother's -- he still lives at home with her). So what did ol' Keith do when the mower wouldn't start? What any other freaking idiot in his situation would do, blast it with a sawed-off shotgun. Forget checking the gas and oil, when a mower doesn't start all it needs is some holes.
Police officers said Mr Walendowski had told them: "It's my lawn mower and my yard, so I can shoot it if I want." He was charged by police in Milwaukee with disorderly conduct and possession of a sawn-off shotgun. He could face a fine of up to $11,000 and a maximum prison sentence of six-and-a-half years if convicted.
Geez, six-and-a-half years? I assume that's mostly for the shotgun. But, uh, just out of curiosity -- blasting a weed-wacker is totally legit, right?
Hit the jump for an example of what a Mad Max collectible "sword"-off shotgun looks like.
Jul 10 2008 New Spider Landmine Safer Than Old Ones
Ah yes, a safer landmine. And all along I've thought landmines were supposed to be the opposite of safe. I'm about as stupid as my little sister. The Spider has six legs set at 60ยบ intervals and drops six separate mines once in position. The mines are detonated by an operator, so you can jump on the trip-wires all you want as long as the guy at the controls likes you. But if you ate the last of his rations, look out. The unit can be packed with fragmentation charges or non-lethal gases, and I'm definitely a fan of any option that doesn't include "frag". Of course, being the nation that we are, the Spider does feature a "battle override mode" which allows the mine to detonate on its own without an operator. Which violates the Mine Ban Treaty -- but we didn't sign that shit (along with China, India and Russia)! So, yeah, we've got an asshole club thing going on. Also, apparently we still use bayonets.
Innovative Spider landmine has six deadly legs, offers non-lethal options [dvice]
Jul 8 2008 Shooting Simulator: Use Your Own Gun
The ST-2 indoor shooting simulator is just the thing you need if you thought Duck Hunt was the awesomest game ever when you were a kid. They system is currently being used by the Russian and Slovakian shooting teams in preparation for the Olympics, and I want one installed in my basement. It's advertised as the "first simulator for shotgun and rifle shooting designed specifically for demanding users such as shooting instructors" and gives you feedback explaining what you did wrong should you miss a shot. You know, stuff like, "you have shitty aim", and "you were distracted by the couple having sex in the bushes". Which is a bad idea. Because one time I tried playing Duck Hunt with daddy's gun and accidentally shot stepmommy while she was vacuuming.
ST-2 shooting simulator keeps your aim sharp [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who I've head can dissolve an entire urinal cake with a single urination.
