Oct 28 2009 Ever Wonder What Mario Looks Like Naked?

Scary as hell, that's what. Like an adult-sized baby with a serious case of the wonk-eye. I don't think I'll never be able to look Mario straight in the face again. Like a friend who catches you staring at his package in the locker room after some racquetball. That said, how about somebody make one of these for Princess Peach? Unless that makes me a creep, in which case my tipster requested it. Yeah Aisha, you perv!

What's Underneath, Mario? [kotaku]

Thanks to Aisha, who totally asked for the Princess Peach thing, swear.

Sep 9 2009 Study: OMG Women Have Faces!?

In a unshocking report released by the New Zealand's University of Wellington, researchers found that most men don't know that women have faces. Only breasts. Haha! But seriously -- what's a face?

Researchers found that virtually half - 47 per cent - of men first glance at a woman's breasts. A third of the "first fixations" are on the waist and hips, while fewer than 20 per cent look at the woman's face.

Not only are breasts often the first thing men look at, they also glance at them for longer than any other body part, the experts discovered, the Daily Mail newspaper in the UK reported.

Hey, different strokes for different folks (I always check for a penis first).

Scientific proof that men look at women's breasts first and their face is almost last [dailytelegraph]

Thanks to deadbodyman, who's still not convinced women have faces. OR BREASTS (foot fetish).

Jul 28 2009 Blue Dye May Help After Spinal Injuries

FD&C Blue No. 1, a food dye commonly found in Gatorade and other unnaturally blue consumables, is believe do help prevent cell death after a spinal cord injury. Imagine what Purple No. 3 might do!

[The dye] appears to block a molecule that floods the injury site and kills nerve cells, a team reports in the July 28 Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Rats dosed with the dye after injury showed greater improvement in motor skills than rats not receiving the dye. And the food colorant's low toxicity suggests a new approach for treating spinal cord trauma in humans, injuries for which there are few therapies.

"It's not a cure," says neuroscientist Maiken Nedergaard of the University of Rochester Medical Center in Rochester, N.Y., who led the new study. "I don't think that anything can cure this, but for the patient it could be a big improvement."

Blue No. 1 folks, it's the future. Which sucks, because I've been stockpiling Yellow No. 5. Now what am I supposed to do with it all? BESIDES POUR IT INTO THE WATER SUPPLY AND BECOME THIS CITY'S GREATEST LOVER!

Brilliant blue for the spine [sciencenews]

Thanks to dustin and Julian, who only experiment with drugs.

Jul 13 2009 You're Not So Uncatchable Now, Are You?: Anatomy Of A Gingerbread Man

Jason Freeny, the man behind all the other weird anatomy studies we've featured (and possibly a med school dropout), is back at it, this time with a gingerbread man. Which reminds me: one Christmas my mom made a batch of gingerbread cookies before dinner and said I could only have one or I'd spoil my supper. Well, long story short, I ate like fifteen and got so sick I puked under the Christmas tree. I blamed it all on the dogs. You know what -- it feels good to finally tell somebody. I've been meaning to get this off my chest ever since it happened. 2008 was a bad Christmas for the Geekologie Writer.

Moist Production

Thanks to Jason, the man behind the scalpel.

Jun 19 2009 Wow, Just Wow: NES Controller Scarification

Link is possibly NSFW depending on how your boss feels about vomit on your keyboard. GRAPHIC: LOOK AT YOUR OWN RISK.

After the jump you will find a picture of BME member Metal_Games, who had the likeness of a NES controller cut into the back of his leg AND THEN THE SKIN REMOVED. Hey, different strokes for different folks. I like freestyle.

The stencil went on, and we were ready to go. Starting with the lines, the pain wasn't half as bad as I'd expected. In fact, it was a breeze for the most part. It took Jeffrey, the artist, about 20 minutes to cut all the lines. A couple of deep breaths, and we went straight on to removing the skin...

Fun fact: it took me five smelling salts to write this post.

Hit it if you dare.

Continue Reading " Wow, Just Wow: NES Controller Scarification "

Jun 15 2009 Tactical Corsets Provide Pew Pew Protection

Tactical Corsets are "high-fashion high-function clothes for empowered women" and are available with or without body armor depending on the level of "action" you see on a day to day basis.

Tactical gear is no longer an all boys club. Tactical Corsets bring female operators MILSPEC features like MOLLE modular pouch attachment webbing and self-adjustable quick-release buckles in a load-bearing carrier designed to support the female form.

Count me in. And by me and I mean you, ladies. Okay, and me. What -- I look good in black! Also, stilettos.

Tactical Corsets

Thanks to Watch-303, who once took out a whole tribe of amazon women but made them all pay for their own dinners.

Apr 2 2009 What's Under The Zipper?: Sackboy Anatomy

This is another anatomical rendering by Jason Freeney of Sackboy's innards. As you can see, there are guts under that zipper. Of course, I already knew that because I got all stabby on him once when he wouldn't give me his wallet. Yeah, and all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't stitch Sackboy together again. So, let that be a lesson to the rest of you.

Jason Freeney's Website
and
The Anatomy Of A Sackboy [kotaku]

Thanks to Julian, who took one for the team and pointed out Sackboy's genitalia was modeled after his own so I wouldn't have to.

Feb 17 2009 I Can See Inside!: The Anatomy Of A Qee Doll

Okay, so I didn't know what a Qee was, but apparently they're little collectible dolls that come in all sorts of crazy funky-fresh designs. And this is what the insides would look like if there were actually living bear-mice and not plastic dolls for grownups. This anatomical chart was created by Jason Freeny, the same man responsible for the studies of balloon animal, gummi bear, and LEGO minifig. A limited edition of 1,000 prints are available if you're interested. Good looking, Jason. But not as good looking as yours truly. That mirror broke itself, I swear!

Moist Production

Dec 29 2008 Mmmm, Gutsy: A Thorax Cake

Damn that looks delicious. I just want to eat it up. Then slather the leftovers on a naked chick, take some moderately tasteful(!) erotic photographs, and sneak out a window while she cleans up.

The plan was for each organ to be made out of a different kind of cake and to secrete a different color of fluid when it was cut into. Previous heart cakes have bled fresh, homemade raspberry sauce. Sadly, the organs didn't bleed as well as I had hoped when I cut the cake, as each organ was relatively small and couldn't hold much sauce. Also all the moving around after filling the organs made it hard to keep the sauce contained in the little cavities I hollowed out. The heart bled pretty well, but the other organ fluids weren't very dramatic.

Heart - orange cake with raspberry sauce
Lungs - apple spice cake with strawberry sauce
Kidneys - orange cake with blueberry sauce
Stomach - ginger cake with mango sauce
Liver - chocolate cake with kiwi sauce
Small Intestine - jelly roll with red currant jelly

My God does that sound good. And I'm not even a big fan of purification organs. Now pipe organs -- that's another story. DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOO -- DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT!! Anybody? Phantom of the Opera!

Hit the jump for a ton more of the construction and final product.

Continue Reading " Mmmm, Gutsy: A Thorax Cake "

Oct 14 2008 I'm A Doctor!: Anatomy Of A LEGO Minifig

Jason Freeny, the man behind the anatomies of a balloon animal and gummi bear, is at it again, this time with a LEGO minifig. Who knew those little plastic bodies were so intricate on the inside? Not me, and I've melted several after dousing them with hairspray. Oh the figmanity!

Moist Production (Jason's official site)

Thanks to Jason, the man behind the magic, for pointing out he purposefully made the minifig's junk bigger than mine.

Sep 17 2008 Woops: How Not To Dispose Of A Sex Doll

The best way to dispose of a sex doll is to hump it until it melts. But if you don't have superhuman stamina or a laser penis, your options are limited. So what do you do? Dump it like a dead hooker.

A 60-year-old man, having lived with his rubbery companion for a few years after his wife passed away, but when he decided to move in with his kids we felt like it was time to move on. He was too attached to chop his former lover up into pieces and toss her out with the trash, so he did what any respectable guy would do: stuck her in a sleeping bag, brought her to a remote, wooded area and dumped her.

Unshockingly, hikers stumbled upon the sleeping bag and notified authorities. One very brief post-mortem exam later, and the guy finally came forward to claim his former lover. He faces littering charges and future relations with a once-dead sex doll. You know, this reminds me of the time a dead hooker came back to haunt me. If I told her once, I told her a million times -- I'm still not paying you one-legged ghost of a whore!

Dumping Someone is Hard, Even if that Someone is a Sex Doll [gizmodo]

Aug 14 2008 Is This Really Bigfoot? (Hint: Hell If I Know)

First the Montauk Monster, then a chupacabra, and now....Bigfoot?

Two Bigfoot hunters claim they have the body of one and plan to release a photo and what they claim is DNA evidence at a news conference in Palo Alto on Friday.

The Bigfoot is claimed to have been found in the woods of northern Georgia by Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, and the claim is being supported by a Bay Area Bigfoot researcher Tom Biscardi, a multiple local Democratic candidate.

I copied the entire press release for the news conference after the jump, so you can check out all the claims, but I'll post a couple of the more interesting ones here:

*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall. *It weighs over five hundred pounds. *It is male. *Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel. *From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide. *The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)

So folks, what's the deal? I'll continue to follow the story and hit you with an update if there's anything groundbreaking revealed at the press conference tomorrow, provided it's not, "Haha, tricked you!" If that's the case I'll bury this post and pretend I never wrote it. Geekologie Writer: 1, Journalistic Integrity: 0.

Hit it for the press release and a video news report, and yes, that is supposed to be a photo of the thing stuffed in a freezer.

Continue Reading " Is This Really Bigfoot? (Hint: Hell If I Know) "

Aug 8 2008 Yes! DIY Elf Ears: No Experience Required

We've posted elf ears before here on Geekologie, but those involved some sort of "surgical procedure" and "money". Well now there's an Instructable on how to do it yourself with the help of a friend! Okay, not really. The article just discusses the things to consider if you're interested in getting it done. So, I'll go ahead and post the DIY myself.

1. Find a pair of scissors. The sharper the better. The scissors you have from kindergarten should be fine.
2 Score some rubbing alcohol. Take a few shots.
3. Ask yourself, "Do I really want elf ears?" If the answer is no, repeat step 2, possibly alternating shots and bong hits.
4. Cut a triangular chunk out of your upper ear. You should be bleeding at this point.
5. Sterilize a needle with a lighter, thread with fishing line or yarn, and sew your ear back together in the desired shape.
6. Put some tape around your ear to hold it together and prevent strain on the stitches.
7. Repeat steps 4 through 6 for the other ear.
8. Take a picture, preferably topless.
9. If you are a chick, send me that picture. If you are a dude, throw it away, I don't care about your elf ears.
10. If you are hot, I will marry you.
11. Change your name to Zelda.

Hit the jump for a few more pictures, including some after they've healed a bit.

Continue Reading " Yes! DIY Elf Ears: No Experience Required "

Jul 28 2008 Kids Dig Up Corpse To Make Skull Bong

Wow, just wow. Kevin Wade and Mathew Richard, two 17-year olds from Houston, Texas, were recently arrested for abusing a corpse. They didn't try to have sex with it, but they did remove the skull to make a bong.

Police were interviewing Jones about the debit card fraud when he told them about the grave theft.

Asked why Jones would volunteer the information police sergeant John Chomiak said: 'We can only speculate and guess to what goes on in the criminal mind.'

Come on sergeant, the kids didn't mastermind a bank heist, they dug up a corpse to make a bong. I'm pretty confident there isn't shit going on in their heads.

Teens make human skull bong [metro]

Thanks Gypsy and Paige, now come over and we'll take GB's out of my roommate's fishtank.

Jul 3 2008 Medical Manikin Is Pretty Freaking Disturbing

This is an old dude with really saggy tits and yellow wires hanging out of his arm. He comes with interchangeable two penis and vagina attachments and is used to train doctors how to play dress up with a plastic dummy. See, there's a wig and everything. Accessories include two bottles of everclear, a sports drink, and some syringes. If you want one of your own to get freaky with they're available for around $1,000. Also, if you want to play doctor I will play with you.

Medical Manikins Freak Us Out [gizmodo]

Jul 2 2008 Using A Laser-Etch Machine To Brand Yourself

What you're looking at is a picture of a guy's hand. A guy who stuck said hand into a laser-etching machine and used it to brand a robot image into his skin. There are a bunch more laser-etch tattoos/brands after the jump if you're curious what burnt skin looks like, so check them out. There's also a video and link to the instructables detailing how the guys did it and what the experience was like. Which, to me, looks a little tamer than when I got branded with a heated coat hanger freshman year of college. My leg scabbed to the bedsheets when I passed out that night. Then I woke up the next day, developed an infection, slipped into delirium, and woke up two days later when my friends were taking me to the hospital. It was a crazy semester, but I still managed to pull out a solid 1.57 GPA. Skills: I've got tons. Brain cells: not so much.

Hit the jump for a VIDEO, more pictures and the links. And yes, it's a true story.

Continue Reading " Using A Laser-Etch Machine To Brand Yourself "

Jul 2 2008 For The Plushie Trifecta: Plush Guts

First it was particle plushies, followed by microbe plushies, and now, for the win and trifecta, come plush guts. Each organ is about 6"-8" in size and run between $16-$20 (except for the limited edition heart of gold, that one will set you back $30). I personally just bought a backup liver and uterus but was disappointed to find they don't sell my favorite organ. You do know the one I'm talking about, don't you? The spleen, how can they not sell the spleen?

Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of different organs, including the coveted heart of gold.

Continue Reading " For The Plushie Trifecta: Plush Guts "

Jun 25 2008 World's Deepest Pool Lacks A High Dive

The world's deepest swimming pool (108 feet) resides in Brussels, Belgium and serves as "multi-purpose diving instruction, recreational, and film production facility."

The pool itself consists of a submerged structure with flat platforms at various depth levels. The pool has two large flat-bottomed areas at depth levels of 5m (16 ft) and 10m (32 ft), and a large circular pit descending to a depth of 33m (108 ft). It is filled with 2,500,000 liters of non-chlorinated, highly filtered spring water maintained at 30°C (86°F) and contains several simulated underwater caves at the 10m depth level. There are numerous underwater windows that allow outside visitors to look into the pools at various depths.

While that's cool and all, where the hell is the high dive? You can't have a pool that deep and not have a high dive, it's blasphemous. I mean, WTF? Oh well, I'm still gonna sink my girlfriend's body in the deep end.

Hit the jump off for a bunch more pictures.

Continue Reading " World's Deepest Pool Lacks A High Dive "

Jun 11 2008 Baby Born With Extra Thingie On Its Back

I've been contemplating whether or not to post this since last night, but since so many people sent it in, and I'm a sucker for peer pressure (I do drugs now), I guess I am. Of course, the story was broken by The Sun, so it's probably faker than the license I use to buy beer with (I'm only 17) anyways. Allegedly a son born to Li Jun, a 30-year old farmer from Hejian City in China's Henan province, was born with an extra penis on his back. I had a kid on my swim team growing up with an extra nipple on his back, but never have I heard of a spare penis. The appendage is the result of a condition known as fetus in fetu, in which one twin is partially reabsorbed by the other. Thankfully, the baby underwent surgery to remove the unit (which was attached to the spine) and the baby has made a full recovery and will live a normal, one penis life.

Seriously, Geekologie is thankful the surgery was a success, the baby is healthy and doing well, and wonders if doctors could attach that thing to me somewhere. Anywhere, I don't care. Forehead's fine.

Uncensored picture of the thing after the jump. WARNING: It's a baby with a penis on it's back.

Continue Reading " Baby Born With Extra Thingie On Its Back "

Jun 6 2008 OMGWTFNOBBQ?: Cannibal Banquets

A "Cannibal Banquet" is gross and involves eating a sort of fake human.

Here's how the Cannibal Banquet works... a pinata-like "body" is carefully crafted, then stuffed with edible goodies in a red sauce. More "sauce" is somehow embedded into the outside covering - "skin" as it were - of the body so that it will appear to bleed when cut into.

What.The.F***? And I thought the Bread Head Bakery was an assault on good taste. This cannibal banquet is a fullblown wack attack. I'd still try it though. Save the neck for me, Clark. Ooh, and a breast.

Hit the jump for worthwhile before and after shots (don't worry, the beaver is pixelated in traditional Japanese porn fashion).

Continue Reading " OMGWTFNOBBQ?: Cannibal Banquets "