Feb 10 2009 Boredom: Ever Wanted To Scroll A Mile?

Ever wanted to scroll a mile with your computer mouse? Me neither, which is why I just grabbed the sidebar and dragged it. A mile in less than a second! I must be Mercury, the text messenger of the gods. I want gold shoes. Anway, onemilescroll.com is a website where you can scroll for a whole mile and read about objects and their lengths along the way.

The One Mile Scroll transforms virtual space into an actual, physical distance. Take your computer for a scroll. Participate and add heights of things. Please only add the vertical heights. Be sure to check your measurements (with Google or other service). Once submitted entries can only be modified or deleted by site admin.

I give it less than an hour before "The GW's junk" is added right there beneath ant. And, to whoever does it: I'd like to thank you in advance for your generosity.

One Mile Scroll

Thanks to Momboelitist, who once scrolled 800 miles in a week and lived to tell about it. Unfortunately, he developed carpal tunnel and had to chew his arm off.

Jan 6 2009 Um, Hooray?: MacWorld Keynote Highlights

Good afternoon my delicate flowers. The MacWorld keynote ended not too long ago and I am here to report the highlights of said keyish note. Unfortunately, most of the news was boring and made me flaccid.

iLife '09: iPhoto, face recognition for pictures, GPS geotagging, *yawn*, sorting options. New version of iMovie, new editing options, advanced drag-and-drop, free porn, themes. Garageband '09: new interface, learn how to play an instrument lessons ($5 a pop!)

iWork '09: who cares.

17" MacBook Pro: thinnest, lightest 17-inch laptop, 920 x 1200 display, 700:1 contrast ratio, 60% greater color gamut, alleged 8-hour battery. "It comes in one config -- $2799." 2.66GHz, 4GB RAM, 320GB hard drive."

iTunes: 10 million songs by end of the quarter, ALL DRM (digital rights management) FREE, finally. Also, $0.69 and $1.29 tiers for song purchases in addition to the regular $0.99 one. 3G downloading too! Whee!

Well folks, there you have it. I want my Pulitzer melted and sent to Cash-For-Gold. The Greenbacks, bitches, I want them!

Live from the Macworld 2009 keynote [engadget]

Nov 25 2008 Google Employees Create Spreadsheet Art

This is a time-lapse video of three Google employees creating an 18,600 cell mosaic in a spreadsheet. As you will see, it has a nice wintry theme. Namely, snowflakes. Personally, I would have gone with Frosty bending Santa over his sleigh for not bringing him the new corncob pipe he wanted, while Mrs. Claus watches from the kitchen window and bakes those delicious cookies of hers. But I don't get paid to sit around and make spreadsheet art. I get paid to sit around and desecrate your Christmas memories. Happy holidays bitches!

18,600-Cell Spreadsheet Mosaic Captured On Time-Lapse Video [gizmodo]

Thanks to Harrison, who's allegedly keeping Frosty's head alive in his freezer.

Aug 5 2008 Eh: Multi-Touch 3D Hologram Display Is Here

This is a video of Obscura Digital demonstrating their multi-touch software with Musion's Eyeliner 3D holographic projector. It's pretty neat. But you know what? I'm getting sick and tired of all these multi-touch demos where it seems the extent of what you can so is shuffle through photos and resize them. BORING. Show me somebody building a LEGO castle or something. Anything -- anything besides "look, you can toss Polaroids around in space!" I mean I can do that in real life, and it would still suck. I want to see some VR applications. I need an escape damnit, and the drugs aren't working.

Obscura Digital projects multi-touch "hologram", blows all sorts of minds [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who's anxiously awaiting holographic skin flicks.

Aug 5 2008 Presidential Candidates Get Own Comics

Barack Obama and that other presidential candidate whose face looks like a gnarled tree trunk (EDIT: Wrong John -- I was thinking Kerry, this guy is actually McCain) will star in their own comics made by IDW Publishing, a San Diego comic book company.

Don't expect Captain America-versus-Superman hijinks or super-villains threatening the electoral process. Trading sound bites for word balloons, the books purport to tell McCain and Obama's life stories, independently researched and illustrated by a veteran team of writers and artists.

"We're not doing anything that is sensational here," said IDW special projects editor Scott Dunbier, adding that neither campaign was involved in the development of the books. "We're sticking to the facts."

Wow, these are gonna be the boringest comics ever. Sure McCain spent five years as a POW in North Vietnam, but that's about the only riveting detail. At least give the man a cape and anti-aging serum.

NOTE: The Geekologie Writer does not endorse political candidates. Political candidates endorse him!

McCain: The Geekologie Writer is great. He's made me shoot Diet Pepsi Zero out my nose and shit my pants at the same time before. Also, ladies, topless photos are the only way to the man's heart.
Obama: The Geekologie Writer once told me a dirty joke. It was funny. I can't remember exactly how it went, something about a penis walking into a bar. Hilarious.

McCain, Obama to star in their own comic books [msnbc]

Thanks to Emma for being a Wonder Woman.

Jun 16 2008 WTF?: Sudoku Addicts Ruin Drug Trial

A drug trial in Australia that's been going on for over three months and already cost taxpayers near $1 million has been halted as a result of jurors playing sudoku puzzles instead of paying attention.

Sydney District Court Judge Peter Zahra cancelled the trial of two men on drugs conspiracy charges after the jury foreperson admitted that four to five jurors had been playing the addictive number sequence game, local media reported.

One juror said the game helped them to pay more attention by keeping their mind busy.

"Some of the evidence is rather drawn out and I find it difficult to maintain my attention the whole time," the juror was quoted saying by the Australian Associated Press.

HA! Seriously, I have the attention span of a goldfish so I can completely understand where that person is coming from. But you can't just go sudokuing it up during a damn trail. That's what the DS and PSP are for.

Sudoku addicts halt drugs trial [yahoonews]

Thanks to Ray, who knows that crossword puzzles are where it's at anyways.

Feb 1 2008 This Meeting Is Boring: Ejector Seat Chairs

How many times have you sat through a boring meeting wishing you had an ejector seat that could blast you through the ceiling and into the women's restroom on the floor above? Never? Well I wish that all the time. Anyways, if you're the 'top gun' in your office (I'm actually cutting myself for saying that) let everyone know with a genuine ejector seat from a B-52 Stratofortress. Available from MotoArt for an undisclosed amount of money, you can get either an upward or downward ejecting model (this one is a downer) used on the two decks of the plane. Unfortunately the firing mechanism is absent, so you'll have to pack your own fireworks under the chair for effect. "This meeting sucks. Oh shit, I've been hit by a boredom bogey! BAIL BAIL BAIL!! PPSSSHHOOOOW!!!!!!!!" (this is when you light the fireworks and run for the door while it's smoky).

B-52 Stratofortress Ejector Seat Office Chair - Tailor Made For Aviation Buffs [tfts]

Thanks to Andrew, who knows when it's time to bail, for such a fine article