Nov 16 2009 It Was Only A Matter Of Time: Google Streets Car Finally Gets Christened By Bird
I can't believe it took this long. And, who knows, maybe it's happened before. I mean, birds shit on my car all the time. Cats too. And, at least twice this year, a homeless man. Well, from a purely technical standpoint, that was actually IN the car. And speaking of which: DON'T YOU EVER WIPE YOURSELF ON MY SEAT AGAIN. Use the passenger's.
Thanks to Marcos, who has slept in cars but never shit in them. Remember: don't shit where you eat sleep. Unless you pass out on the john, in which case go for it.
Nov 14 2009 Impressive: 300,000 Birds Perform Air Ballet
I have no idea who the hell can tell that's 300,000 birds, but I'm running with it. And by running I mean flying. Just like those birds. Except less graceful. But equally naked! Think of me as like the Eleventh Plague of Egypt, if the Eleventh Plague of Egypt were a naked man standing on the roof flapping his arms. I'm coming for you, Pharoah! *caw caw!*
It's a bird! It's a cloud! It's a bird cloud [yahoobuzz]
Nov 6 2009 Wow: LHC Shut Down Over Piece Of Baguette
Apparently coming back from the future to destroy itself isn't the only problem the Large Hadron Collider has to face, now it's being sabotaged by crumb dropping birds. CODE BREAD! CODE BREAD!
The Large Hadron Collider, the world's most powerful particle accelerator, just cannot catch a break. First, a coolant leak destroyed some of the magnets that guide the energy beam. Then LHC officials postponed the restart of the machine to add additional safety features. Now, a bird dropping a piece of bread on a section of the accelerator has, according to the Register, shut down the whole operation.
The bird dropped some bread on a section of outdoor machinery, eventually leading to significant over heating in parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic failsafes would have shut down the machine.
Wow, that's -- what's the word I'm looking for? Pathetic. And by pathetic I mean damn yeah I left that baguette there. YOU AREN'T DESTROYING MY WORLD, LARGE HADRON COLLIDER! Next time I'm bringing jelly.
Baguette Dropped From Bird's Beak Shuts Down The Large Hadron Collider (Really) [popsci]
Thanks to Futuju, Stephen, Kristi, you've got mail and sham, who tried to train squirrels to sabotage the LHC with acorns but the little bastards just kept hiding them.
Oct 27 2009 Amazing!: A Hummingbird Feeder Helmet
This is a video of a hummingbird feeder that's incorporated into a $80 flowery mask. You leave it outside for awhile to get the birds used to it, then put that sucker on one day and sit still while the hummers come to feed right between your eyes. INTENSE! Reminds me of the time I let a murder of crows peck my eyes out. Probably shouldn't have done that. But like they say, hindsight's 20/20. Except mine, I'm totally blind now.
Product Site
via
Wearable hummingbird feeder: they'll think your eyes are juicy, delicious flowers! [boingboing]
Thanks to Fally, who once fed an owl a mouse right from her hand because she's an adrenaline junkie.
Sep 15 2009 Die, Birds, Diiiiiiiie!: Contra Vs. Duck Hunt
This is a super short video of a Contra commando playing Duck Hunt. And in case you can't watch videos at work, I'll spoil it for you: the ducks lose. But if you want to watch the ducks win, you should watch that youth hockey themed movie starring Emilio Estevez. OMG HE WAS SOOOO HANDSOME!
Thanks to jim, who got the laser rifle and "accidentally" shot that annoying laughing dog.
Aug 14 2009 Real Life Duck Hunt Is Not THAT Real Life
This Duck Hunt game from Hammacher Schlemmer costs $30 and involves shooting a mechanical flying duck with an infrared gun. Plus, if your gun runs out of batteries you can still throw rocks at it. Just like our ancestors used to do!
A 10-second charge on the barrel of the gun energizes the mechanical duck for a 30-second flight. The duck's 6" long mylar wings flap up and down nearly 500 times per minute, and it can be set to fly in an erratic left- or right-turning circle or a level, straight line. Sharp-eyed hunters take aim with the infrared gun--the first two hits merely stun the waterfowl, momentarily interrupting his flapping; the third hit downs the duck for good.
I like how it takes three shots to bring it down, that's pretty neat. Not as neat as my cocktail, but that's only because I DON'T DO ICE, HOMEY.
Product Page
via
Learn to Aim With Flying Duck Hunt Shooting Game [walyou]
May 27 2009 Hmm: Birds As Smart As Monkeys, Toddlers
In an experiment that helps prove some birds are smarter than they'd look in the bottom of a KFC bucket, a British rook was able to make a tool (hook) in order to accomplish a task (score worms). Allegedly, this puts them on par with monkeys and toddlers. But I haven't seen any toddlers making tools. Just stools. Yeah, in their pants. Birds: 1, toddlers: 0.
They were presented with a small bucket of wriggling worms out of reach at the end of a tube, and next to it a piece of straight wire.
Remarkably, despite never having seen the set-up before, they immediately got to work bending the wire so they could hook out the bucket and tuck in.Unlike most animals which learn tricks through trial and error, they solved the problem immediately and, since they were raised in captivity, had no other birds to show them how to do it.
Just what I've been waiting for. Now I'm going to use a flock of rooks to finally rob the local bank. God knows the squirrels couldn't do it. Could you, you stupid tree rats? I swear, one of you spots a nut and you act like it's the first time you showered with daddy.
Hit the jump for a couple more action shots and a video.
Continue Reading " Hmm: Birds As Smart As Monkeys, Toddlers "
May 9 2009 Captain Ahab, The Harpoon!: Fail Whale Cake
Twitter user wildflourbakery went and made a fail whale cake for the Lawrence, Kansas Tweet Up. And I can safely say I have no idea what I just typed. Tweet Up? Fail whale? I AM ALL WIN FISH, SON!
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and another, different fail whale cake.
Continue Reading " Captain Ahab, The Harpoon!: Fail Whale Cake "
Apr 30 2009 Good Eats: A Whole Chicken In A Can
Hungry? Yeah, but are you whole chicken in a can hungry? That's right folks, Sweet Sue's Canned Whole Chicken (without giblets) is an entire cooked chicken in a can (a big one). Equally perfect for camping trips or throwing up everywhere! Hit the jump to see an uncanning in progress, which will leave you wondering why you've ever eaten anything else. Then go get one. You'll be doubled over on the bathroom floor with the runs quicker than you can say "I think I ate the asshole"! Bon Appétit!
Hit it for the uncanning. Really makes me want one.
Apr 19 2009 Robotic Penguins Attack From Sea AND Sky
Festo, a company that doesn't give two shits whether we all die at the hands of robots, is back on their robotic animal kick, this time with robo-penguins. Yeah, and to make matters worsethe tuxedoed bastards can now attack from both sea AND sky. You only need to watch the first 2:00 of the video to see the penguins, then it goes on to showcase a robotic hand and robotic wall. Yeah, you heard me, a robotic wall. I've heard of some pretty sick things in my day, but that might just take the cake. And speaking of which -- which one of you jerkbags ate the last piece?
If embedded player goes down go HERE to watch the video.
Thanks to Dylan, Azghul and nerdilicious, who all wear robot-penguin coats because they're classy.
Apr 1 2009 A Sneak Peek Into QualComm's R&D Dept
This is a rare sneak-peek into Qualcomm's normally top-secret R&D Department. I thought it was both informative and awesome, especially the bit at the end with the junior engineer. After watching, I think we can all agree that Qualcomm is, in fact, the future of wireless communications. And what a bright future it is. CAW CAW!
Official Site
and
Youtube
Thanks to jaime, Jennie and Jeff, who have been breeding leopardhawks for years.
Mar 22 2009 I Believe I Can Fly: Terrafugia Takes 1st Flight
Remember the Terrafugia "roadable aircraft" (drivable plane)? Well it took its first test flight earlier this month, and as is evident from this video after the jump, it was boring as shit. The Terrafugly has a 450-mile flying range, converts from plane to plane that can drive in 30-seconds, and is still scheduled for sale in 2011 for about $200K. Which means your kids can probably expect a wealthy neighbor crash-landed in the backyard sometime soon. ZOMG, his eyeball is hanging out of the socket. Quick -- poke it back in with a stick!
Hit the jump for the video and a bunch more pictures (one of which gave me a little twitter down there).
Continue Reading " I Believe I Can Fly: Terrafugia Takes 1st Flight "
Jan 21 2009 I'm Tired Of Life Anyway: Wingsuit Madness
MUST WATCH, UNBELIEVABLE ACTION.
Wingsuits: just like being a bird, except no bird is dumb enough to do that shit.
UPDATE: A cardinal just flew into the window. Superbowl omen!?
Thanks to The Jerk, Jim and Phil, who don't need to almost die to have a good time, video games are enough.
Dec 16 2008 Hitchcock The Birds Barbie Is A Real Product
The Alfred Hitchcock The Birds doll is a genuine Barbie, manufactured by Mattel and everything. It's not just a doll that somebody modded in their basement (although by all means feel free to do that yourself).
Dressed in a re-creation of the stylish green skirt-suit worn by the film's ill-fated heroine in an iconic scene, Alfred Hitchfock's "The Birds" Barbie® Doll celebrates the 45th anniversary of the acclaimed film. From the doll's classic ensemble to the perfectly painted expression to the accompanying black birds, every aspect captures the film's infamous appeal.
They run about $40 and are the perfect gift for a daughter that has no idea who the hell Alfred Hitchcock is. Also, I'm a little disappointed there's no Psycho Barbie. What better way to teach our nation's youth about diversity and acceptance than a knife weilding Barbie dressed as a man? Well, a man crossdressed as his dead mother and about to get all stabby on some chick in the shower? I certainly can't think of any.
Thanks to Shayla, who once killed two birds with one stone and then watched a cat eat them.
May 5 2008 Bald Eagle To Receive Bionic Beak
Beauty is a 7-year old Alaskan bald eagle whose upper beak was shot off by some stupid asshole. Unable to hunt or drink effectively, she was slowly starving to death while scrounging for food in an Alaskan landfill. Finally discovered, she was taken to a bird recovery center in Anchorage and hand-fed for two years with the hope that her beak would regrow. It never did. About to be euthanized, she was taken to Jane Fink Cantwell's Birds of Prey Ranch in Idaho as a last ditch effort. There, somebody came up with the idea of creating a bionic beak for the bird. Mechanical engineers, dentists, veterinarians, and other experts all volunteered their time to help the bird, and the beak is about to be attached.
Molds were made of the existing beak parts and scanned into a computer, so the bionic beak could be created as accurately as possible. The nylon-composite beak is light and durable, and will be glued onto the eagle.
Still able to breed, it is hoped that Beauty will one day get banged by a male eagle in midair and have babies. Truly heartwarming.
Oh, and I don't actually know if the beak will have a little antennae or make beepity boopity noises, but when you hear the word "bionic", you just have to assume.
A really sad picture of what the beak looks like sans bionic Photoshopping, after the jump.
Apr 21 2008 Nothing Good: What Happens When You Fly An F-111 Fighter Into A Pelican At 340 MPH
This F-111 hit a pelican in New South Wales, Australia while doing over 340 MPH. As you can see, it's not looking so hot. "The plane was flying at around 3,000 feet during a test bombing raid when a pelican collided with the fiberglass nosecone and was then sucked into one of the engines." Even with a hole in a wing and an engine failure, the pilots were still able to safely land the aircraft. No word on how the pelican is doing, but if I had to guess I'd say seriously freaking not good.*
*Dead
F-111 Fighers And Pelicans Don't Mix [ohgizmo]
Oct 22 2007 Birds On A Wire Lighting Is Not Bad Looking
Designers Javier Henriquez and Sebastian Lara from the Mexican studio Eos México came up with this beautiful bit of interior lighting called 'Birds On A Wire'. They call it that because it bears a striking resemblance to three birds resting on a wire. I forget how the saying goes, but I think it's something like "Birds on a wire make for attractive lighting, but birds caught shitting on my car will be killed and fed to the cats." I'm pretty sure that's a fairy tale or something.
Birds On A Wire - Beautiful Illumination [geekalerts]
Oct 9 2007 Light-Emitting Wallpaper Is Cool, May Work
Jonas Samson, who may in fact be the homeless looking vagrant in the picture, has allegedly created light-emitting wallpaper. When in the 'off' position, you've got boring ass wallpaper. When 'on' you've got a funky tree or something and a bird. My only problem with this is, you know, how it works. Do you plug it in? Does it only turn on if you've done a bunch of acid? Is it really just being projected? Now I'm not saying it's a sham -- I'm just saying it's fake and doesn't exist. I want answers.
A few more after the jump.
Continue Reading " Light-Emitting Wallpaper Is Cool, May Work "
Oct 1 2007 Pet Fanatic Cramped For Space
Apparently some pet fanatic who lives in a very small apartment decided to conserve space by combining two pet habitats in one. The birds live in an acrylic box mostly submerged in a fishtank. While it does look neat, I imagine someone out there is calling the SPCA or PETA. Reminds me of the time I combined two pets. My sister's prized hamster and my snake. She hasn't spoken to me in nine years.
The Birdtank [neatorama, thanks to pet friendly Derek for the tip]
Sep 18 2007 Homemade Pigeon Deterrent Scares Birds
This guy set up a motion activated sprinkler to keep pigeons from crapping up the ledge between his pool and hot tub. While I can understand this working in a garden by spraying animals before they eat something, I question its use here. I mean the first thing I do when I think I'm being shot at is empty my bladder and bowels, then cry. I'm sure the pigeons do the same. His only hope is that each individual bird learns it's lesson. *BANG* Not again. *sniffle, sob*
Homemade Pigeon Deterrent Scares Birds [gizmodo]
