Nov 10 2008 What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Everything): World's Largest Truck Going Robotic
A group of sickos at Carnegie Mellon have decided to automate the world's largest truck, a 3,550-horsepower, 700-ton behemoth designed to haul 240-ton loads.
Autonomous vehicle technology is pretty much in its infancy," said Tony Stentz, a professor at CMU involved in the project. Stentz expects that over the next five to 10 years, the technology will expand to areas beyond mining, eventually finding its way into consumer cars and trucks.
Autonomous vehicle technology. Really has a ring to it, doesn't it? No, it doesn't -- and anybody that answered yes is a robot sympathizer and officially on the FU-BOTS shit list. Seriously, this is bad news. You know what happens when a 700-ton robot truck gets road rage?
A: Everybody dies.
World's Largest Truck Goes Robotic [discovery]
Thanks to Hayden, who gets a free membership to FU-BOTS for finding this as scary as I do.
Aug 20 2008 Bigfoot: "That Totally Wasn't Me"
In a turn of events that shocked no one, Bigfoot left a message for reporters in the woods claiming the recent pictures of a creature in a freezer, are, in fact, not him. The message, spelled out with carefully arranged arm-length turds, read "that totally wasn't me".
Turns out Bigfoot was just a rubber suit. Two researchers on a quest to prove the existence of Bigfoot say that the carcass encased in a block of ice -- handed over to them for an undisclosed sum by two men who claimed to have found it -- was slowly thawed out, and discovered to be a rubber gorilla outfit.
First, the hair sample was burned and "melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair," Kulls said in the posting.The thawing process was sped up and the exposed head was found to be "unusually hollow in one small section." An hour of thawing later and the feet were exposed -- and they were found to be made of rubber.
Well folks, it just goes to show you -- you can't believe every legendary creature is real just because some asshats claim to have one in a freezer. You can't will Bigfoot real, no matter how badly you want to make love to him.
Researchers say bigfoot just a rubber gorilla suit [yahoonews]
Thanks to Dan, SilverSided, Laurel, Brad, The Hashishin, Gingela5, and Melanie for letting me down easy.
Aug 14 2008 Is This Really Bigfoot? (Hint: Hell If I Know)
First the Montauk Monster, then a chupacabra, and now....Bigfoot?
Two Bigfoot hunters claim they have the body of one and plan to release a photo and what they claim is DNA evidence at a news conference in Palo Alto on Friday.The Bigfoot is claimed to have been found in the woods of northern Georgia by Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, and the claim is being supported by a Bay Area Bigfoot researcher Tom Biscardi, a multiple local Democratic candidate.
I copied the entire press release for the news conference after the jump, so you can check out all the claims, but I'll post a couple of the more interesting ones here:
*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall. *It weighs over five hundred pounds. *It is male. *Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel. *From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide. *The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
So folks, what's the deal? I'll continue to follow the story and hit you with an update if there's anything groundbreaking revealed at the press conference tomorrow, provided it's not, "Haha, tricked you!" If that's the case I'll bury this post and pretend I never wrote it. Geekologie Writer: 1, Journalistic Integrity: 0.
Hit it for the press release and a video news report, and yes, that is supposed to be a photo of the thing stuffed in a freezer.
Continue Reading " Is This Really Bigfoot? (Hint: Hell If I Know) "
Apr 8 2008 Shirtless Bandit Steals Netflix Discs, Is Caught Red (Mailer) Handed By Hidden Spy Camera
This is the Shirtless Bandit. He likes chips and watching Netflix rentals -- but not his own. He just steals them from his neighbors.
After having to file multiple Netflix movies as "lost in the mail" I began to get suspicious that there was more than just a careless mailman at fault. So what better to do than point a video camera at the mailbox and try to catch a Netflix thief.
Since both my roommate and myself worked second shift jobs, we would be physically unable catch the culprit in action. And although suspicion was strong that it was the white-trash tenants in the first floor of our duplex, suspicion alone would not be enough. We needed something tangible, something we could take to the police if we felt the need. We needed him caught on camera.
Needless to say they did, and he got busted. But not before they drove his head into the mailbox a few times. Just kidding. I would have though. Shit, you steal my Netflix DVDs and I'll pack the mailbox with explosives.
UPDATE: I called a friend at the post office to check the legality of packing a mailbox with TNT, and surprisingly, it's frowned upon. That's okay though, I come prepared. Plan B: Make a mailbox costume, stand by road with a tire iron.
Two more pictures and the VIDEO of Captain Dipshit of the USS Shirts Are For Pussies, along with a link to the whole story, after the jump
