Nov 19 2009 Just Make Your Own: Cantena Chain Clock
I like this clock. I can't exactly say why but I think it's because it costs $2,338 and is definitely something my son team of highly skilled artisans could recreate for a fraction of the cost, ultimately saving you, the sucker, a bundle.
one of our favorite wall clocks, the catena wall clock harkens back to traditional mechanical clocks. copper digits mounted onto a bicycle chain place emphasis on the cyclical nature of time. this clock is a striking clock, literally and figuratively.
IT'S A GEAR AND BICYCLE CHAIN. Sure it's awesome looking but you can't justify a $2,400 pricetag. Besides, what if some punk steals my chain for his BMX? Then I'm timeless! Which, God just look at my chiseled features, I really am.
Thanks to Danundertheice and darwyn4, who know what time it is. Am I right, Flavor Flav? Nice viking helmet.
Nov 5 2009 Inner City Bike Sports No Chain, Comfort
Because bike chains (and gold chains) are such a hot commodity in the inner city, the Inner City Bike doesn't have one. Or a comfortable seat. Or much practicality. I have to have it!
Bicycling to work may be the way to go for some, but parking could still be an issue. That's why Jruiter Studio has come up with the "Inner City Bike". It boasts an ultra compact design and has no chain to boot
There's a shot of a guy riding it after the jump, which I'll be the first to admit doesn't look as uncomfortable as I thought it would. But I won't be the first to admit where I hid the jewels. Not even if you tortur -- TOP DRAWER, UNDER ALL THE SOCKS. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, I HAVE CHILDREN I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT!
Hit it for a guy sitting on the thing.
Continue Reading " Inner City Bike Sports No Chain, Comfort "
Sep 27 2009 Mobile Bar: Beer Bike Totes Two Kegs, Pizza
The Beer Bike was designed and created by Hopworks Urban Brewing of Portland, Oregon, and features two kegs and taps, plus a hot pizza storage unit. Impressive, but I can't even imagine pedaling two full kegs of beer around. I mean, those bitches are heavy. Sure, I've dated three-keg girls before, BUT I NEVER OFFERED THEM RIDES ON MY HANDLEBARS, NOW DID I?! I didn't. I demanded piggybacks!
Beer Bike! [mostlyhere]
Thanks to Kevin, who built a bike with an actual mobile brewery on the back.
Sep 24 2009 Video Game Reality: Paperboy In Real Life
This is a video of the Atari classic Paperboy, but in real life. It's a little longer, and I know most of you have ADD (I'm right here with you), but it's definitely worth a watch while on the clock. Plus, the guys who made it are loyal Geekologists, and you know how I feel about you readers -- I love you all like little sisters! You know, from Bioshock. I'll harvest every last one of you!
Youtube
and
Funnyordie
Thanks to D_rock and cooperanimation, who don't need paperboys because they only read Geekologie. Smart. Plus you're saving trees!
Aug 19 2009 Sport?: Indoor Synchronized Bicycle Riding
I can honestly say I had no idea indoor synchronized bike riding was a real thing. But now that I do, I can't say I'm surprised (I once saw a grown-ass man lounging in a kiddy pool in his front yard, beating himself in the head with an oversized plastic bat). So yeah, I guess what I'm getting at is this: they need sexier uniforms.
Thanks to twellve, who once synchronized her fist with some guy's face for looking at her funny. He had a wonk eye, twellve, geez.
Aug 4 2009 Folding Bike Fits Within Circumference Of Tire
24-year old inventor Dominic Hargreaves has designed and built a bike that folds up to the size of the bike's wheels. Not as impressive as a bike that folds up into its own squeaky horn, BUT NOT EVERYONE IS THIS GENIUS.
"I couldn't find a folding bicycle I liked...I wanted something that could take a bit of punishment and that you could have fun with. So I made one myself."Mr Hargreaves has been in contact with various manufacturers and hopes to get the bike into production soon.
Cool. I've never ridden a folding bike before because I value my safety, but I have ridden a bike with no seat before. It was good times. For both of us.
Inventor's Bike Folds Into Its Own Wheel [yahoonews]
Thanks Pete, now get your top men on a folding jetpack STAT.
Jul 18 2009 Dark Knight Motorcycle Gear Coming Soon
Want a replica of Batman's motorcycle outfit from The Dark Knight to sport on your own crotch rocket? Well get excited, because Universal Designs is about to release them for an undisclosed sum of money. Sorry Robin, but you're still riding bitch.
An Officially Licensed Replica Like No Other is Coming.
- Strong Cordura Mesh Base with Heavy-duty 4 way stretch Spandex
- Removable CE Approved Body Armor in both Jacket and Pants
- Highly detailed, removable lightweight interior lining.
- Form Molded Leather and Kevlar Armor Sections.
- Made from Quality Tanned Cow Hides
No word on cost or when they're actually dropping but THESE THINGS ARE HOT! Unfortunately, my mom won't let me get a motorcycle because she says their too dangerous and she hasn't even removed the training wheels on my bicycle yet. So, give it to me straight: think I'll still be able to pedal in those pants? And, more importantly: would you ride in my basket? Come on -- I'll let you ring the bell!
Thanks to Skroonk, Davie B and FDSY, who have all danced with the devil in the pale moonlight -- and looked up his skirt.
Jul 7 2009 Laser LightLane Creates Your Own Bike Lane
You know what I hate about bicycling? All the pedaling. I have tiny chicken legs and can't even pedal my Big Wheels to the mailbox without running out of steam and crashing into the azaleas. But for your hardier folk, the LightLane is a little laser system that attaches to your bike and provides you with a laser-line bike lane wherever you go. Clever idea. Now are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you answered, "no officer, I was not swerving, I was following the bike lane," you are!
Thanks to Rogefgv, Romeo and Mandy, who ride those bikes with the giant ass wheel in the front and the little tiny one in the back. Because they're oldschool killas.
Jun 8 2009 Pimp Out Your Bike Wheels With Monkeylectric
Looking to add some flashy flair to your bicycle but already have a sweet horn? How about some LEDs for your wheels? Monkeylectric bike LEDs are capable of producing cool designs, including, and not just limited to: stars and shit.
It's essentially a AA battery-powered 256 RGB system that straps to a bike's spokes and has a sweet spot of between 8 and 20 mph: At 8, you'll just start to see the patterns in the center, and at 20 the light show will have taken over your entire wheel. It's customizable, but only to a point, as you have to use the on-board buttons to alter the patterns rather than loading images via USB or whatever.
A kit costs $60, which really isn't too bad considering all the seizures you'll cause. I just ordered two. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you answered, "a pot leaf on the front wheel and skull & crossbones on the back", you're not. I'm going dual mudflap chicks, baby!
Hit the jump for a picture of the device and a worthwhile video of them in action.
Continue Reading " Pimp Out Your Bike Wheels With Monkeylectric "
Jan 25 2009 Revenge For Bicyclists: Handlebar Key Plugs
Are you a bicyclist that's tired of being cut off and hit by cars? Well get a pair of these handlebar key plugs and you can at least deface the perpetrator's car in the process of getting run over.
These modified handlebar plugs speak to the disgruntled urban cyclist. By retro-fitting stock parts with up-cycled keys, bikers can now find satisfaction with close encounters. This concept puts a new twist on the timeless tradition of car-keying revenge. By Matt Braun and Jared Delorenzo.
They cost $5 for a set of two and fit snugly into regular handlebars and assholes. But in all honesty, if I catch you keying my car I can and will kill you. I'm serious -- if you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " Revenge For Bicyclists: Handlebar Key Plugs "
Nov 19 2008 What Was That?: Guitar Hero On A Bike
I have no idea what I just watched. I think it was some sort of bicycling/Guitar Hero mashup. It didn't make any sense. Of course, many things in life don't. Like women and universal remotes. I just don't get it -- why's everything have to be so complicated?*
*I'm being spited me for drinking the holy water that one time. God, I was thirsty!
Thanks to Richard, P0STMAN, and imasys, who could play Guitar Hero on skateboards while eating Hot Fries. Good choice guys, those things are freaking delicious.
Aug 18 2008 Kids Add Audio Systems To Their Bikes
A group of immigrant teens from Trinidad that now live in Queens, New York call themselves the Stereobike crew and add bad-to-the-ass audio systems to their bicycles. Systems that put the boombox I keep in my front basket to shame. The speakers, powered by car batteries and run through amps, output thousands of watts, capable of rattling the paint clean off my Prism. Just imagine, when these kids are old enough to drive and start buying their own cars -- they're gonna get broken into and their stereos stolen.
Hit the jump for several more pictures.
Jul 30 2008 Officer Brutally Rams Cycler From Bike
Remember Officer Rivieri? Good. Well, during the New York Critical Mass bike ride (a monthly protest against motor vehicle reliance) some other officer of the law decided to show the crowd how he feels about our reliance on motor vehicles. Apparently he freaking loves it, at least enough to running body slam some guy off his bicycle (VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP!). The cop has since had his badge and gun yanked while the incident is being investigated.
The video, posted anonymously, shows the officer standing in the street as bikes whiz past. He moves toward a cyclist and violently knocks him to the ground in front of crowds of people. The biker, Christopher Long, of Hoboken, N.J., was arrested because he was obstructing traffic in the heart of Times Square, a criminal complaint said. He was charged with attempted assault, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.The complaint said Long, 29, deliberately steered his bicycle into the officer, causing both of them to fall to the ground.
During his arrest, Long squirmed and kicked, saying to the officers, "You are pawns in the game. I'm gonna have your job," the complaint said.
Okay, it definitely didn't look deliberate on the part of the biker. That cop wanted to see dude's head splatter. And why on earth Long would tell the cops they're "pawns in the game" during his arrest, well, that's just not smart. They're at least the little castles.
Hit the jump for the video. It's worth a look.
Jun 30 2008 Cardboard Bicycles Could Be Coming Soon
Remember the kid that built that wooden bike awhile ago? That thing was sweet and made from trees. And so is this one. Phil Bridge is a 21-year old Industrial Design student that developed a cardboard bicycle. The idea is to make bikes so cheap that nobody will be put off by the thought of buying a bike as a means of personal transportation.
A typical round town bike can cost several hundred pounds. That's a large investment for people who aren't sure whether they will use it. The idea of cardboard is to completely devalue the bike.
Phil's current prototype can hold up to 168-pounds (I'm out), costs $6 to manufacture (frame only, it uses a standard chain mechanism and wheels) and will cost about $24. Allegedly it's even rainproof. It is not, however, fireproof. So be sure to park it inside if you live near a volcano.
Cardboard Bicycle Costs Just $30, Don't Leave It Out in the Rain [gizmodo]
May 22 2008 Readers: I Have A Birthday Coming Up And There's A Jet Bike For Sale On eBay (Hint)
I've been emailing my Congressman forever requesting he make jet engines required safety equipment on all vehicles, but does he listen to the pleas of common citizens? Noooo. So now I have to buy a blackmarket rocket bike from a potential scam artist on eBay in order to procure a safe damn bike. And here it is. Built by "the world's top pulsejet engine designer and builder" Robert Maddox, the engine puts out 50-60 pounds of thrust and is capable of speeding the bike up to approximately 75 MPH. Sounds good right? Well it's not bad, but even such a paltry engines come with warnings.
JET ENGINES ARE DANGEROUS!! BUY AT YOUR OWN RISK THIS ENGINES RUNS AT 140 DECIBELS AND GLOWS RED-COOL!!
Glows red-cool. I like that, I'm gonna start using it. Anyway, you readers get together and buy this for me for my birthday. Because if you don't, well, it'll be the third year in a row I didn't get anything. Well, that's not entirely true -- last year the dog left me a little present on the bed. Whee, shit on the bed, happy birthday to me! The sad part is that I actually appreciated the gesture.
A couple more pictures (including a pretty sweet looking jet-kart) and a video of the bike in action, after the jump. And, just for the hell of it, I added a funny video of a kid on a firework powered skateboard (watch the whole video).
May 20 2008 Cyclepong 2.0 Combines Cycling And Pong
Cyclepong 2.0 (don't even get me started on Cyclepong 1.0) makes you work out to play Pong. "Put simply, the inventor created an arcade-like installation with a pair of exercise bikes, an LCD screen and customized software that enables a pair of individuals to pedal forward and back in order to move their pixels." If you want to take a pedal at it yourself and live near Suffolk, England just head down to the Southwold Pier and look for a guy wearing trackpants and a sweatband. Damn, I really wish I could give it a go. I mean, what could be more fun than exercising and playing Pong at the same time? You know, besides absolutely anything else.
A couple video demonstrations after the jump.
Continue Reading " Cyclepong 2.0 Combines Cycling And Pong "
May 12 2008 Treadmill Bike Makes My Head Explode
Similar to last week's Naturmobil, the Treadmill Bike is half treadmill, half bicycle, and half ridamndiculous. The logic behind it made my head explode. Now my brain is exposed and one of the cats is licking it. Apparently the bike has been out for awhile, but since I have a penchant for the old, and I don't think it has been posted here before, KA-BOOM!, here it blows. Not much to say except I can't believe that guy is actually wearing a helmet -- the damn thing has a top speed of like 2.5 MPH (and that's if you're running like you want to have a heart attack). Horribly energy inefficient, the bike is also inefficiently priced at about $2,500. But can you really put a price on being the stupidest looking cyclist on the streets? Yes, $2,500.
A video of the bike inaction(!) after the jump.
Apr 30 2008 Umm, Sure: Animal Head Bicycle Seat Covers
These are bicycle seat covers for all you pervs out there with a "sitting on animal heads" fetish. You're my kind of people, high five! Okay, now police, round up anyone who just tried to give me a high five. Whew, now that the freaky deviants are out of here, let's get down to business. These bike seat covers come in goat, bear, and dog varieties and all cost about $15. If you want to get the most bang for your buck though I recommend the dog or goat ones, since they're made of way more material than the bear. I considered one, but I'm holding out for a crocodile. Have you ever sat on a crocodile's head before? Let me tell you -- it's a rush. Like huffing airplane glue, but with more sharp teeth inches from your manhammer.
Thanks to Melissa, who doesn't need a bike because she rides a unicorn, for the tip
Apr 25 2008 Automated Bike Storage In Japan Is Cool, Fast
This is some sort of news report about an underground automated bike storage facility in Tokyo.
For a single-use fee of 100 yen (about $1) or 1,800 yen for a monthly pass, customers roll their bikes onto a platform and use a control panel to have them whisked away to a rack within the 9,400 spot facility. The video shows that it takes the system 23 seconds to retrieve the reporter's bike.
Wow, 23 seconds, that's pretty fast. But not nearly as fast as my bike storage unit, which is the front yard. I just cruise in and jump off, simple as that. See, it's right -- shit. That's it, I'm planning a sting operation. First I'll hide in the bushes, and then I'm gonna steal from the first person that touches my bike. I may take their wallet, but I'm definitely taking their legs -- with a chainsaw. Now if I could just find one of those hockey masks...
Underground Bike Parking in Tokyo [streetsblog]
Thanks to Karina, who I would be more than happy to pedal around on my tandem bike, for the tip
Apr 9 2008 Sure, Why Not: Face-To-Face Tandem Bike
The Face-to-Face tandem bike is the brainchild of Taiwanese inventor Chen Yugang. It took him about a year to work out the logistics and build the thing.
His new bicycle can be ridden face-to-face, conventionally or even back-to-back as the seats rotate and the gears can be set to move the bike in either direction. "The bicycle is very easy to change. Any person can change the riding mode in around 10 seconds without the help of tools," says Chen. "Face-to-face is suitable for a parent and child, or dating couples, while the back-to-back mode gives both riders a good view, and the one at the back can have both hands free to shoot pictures or eat snacks."
I was skeptical about whether or not your knees would bang the other person's when you were riding, so Chen was kind enough to let my girlfriend and I take it for a test spin. It really is great for dating couples -- so romantic. There we were, riding along, eyes locked (practically having eye-sex), when, BAM! I slammed her into the back of a bus. Get well soon, honey.
P.S. But not too soon, I'm trying to put the moves on your roommate.
Video of a similar bike, with front rider riding forward, and back rider backwards, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Sure, Why Not: Face-To-Face Tandem Bike "
