Oct 14 2009 Bottle Tops: Because Cans Can Be Tricky
Bottle Tops are plastic lids that snap onto aluminum cans. You know, because you're too special needs to drink out of a can without spilling. Jesus, ask your mom for a sippy-cup already. However, if you absolutely must, a 12-pack of different colors will set you back $10. But be warned!
But seriously the tops of canned drinks can be really dirty; one commenter on Boing Boing Gadgets agrees with me and gives the thumbs down to the Bottle Tops as well. But the others say that it's perfect for beer for a couple of reasons - one, because it keeps the carbon dioxide from escaping, so you don't have to worry about not being able to empty huge cans of booze, and two, because if you cover the can itself the bottle top makes it look like you're drinking an energy drink.
No. But you know what IS perfect for beer? My mouth. Which, MEDICAL FACT: is also perfect for burritos!
Hit the jump for the terrible tv commercial.
Continue Reading " Bottle Tops: Because Cans Can Be Tricky "
Oct 12 2009 Sad: Donkey Kong Reduced To Selling Soda
Seen here unsuccessfully threatening a blurry old man with the 1-2 punch that used to make Mario shit his pants and cry, Donkey Kong, the once fearful gorilla, has been reduced to hocking root beer at local grocery stores. It's a sad day. Also, those arms look a little precarious. I'm definitely gonna stand under one and have a friend push a bunch of cases onto my head. Then, provided I don't get all brain damaged, sue the grocery store. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?! Cleanup in aisle six.
Donkey Kong Soda Display [pixelatedgeek]
Thanks to Jessica, who once laughed so hard she shot root beer out her nose when a friend was telling a joke. It stung. Like a bee, but different.
Apr 18 2008 Chill Stick Looks Like Cue Case, Holds Beer
The Chill Stick ($12) is a neoprene sleeve that keeps six beers cold and looks like the case for a pool cue. That way you can sneak beer into places that have pool tables. Namely bars. Screw paying $2.25 a beer when you can bring your own. Am I right? I am. Same principal goes for outside food and drink at the movie theater. They tell you not to do it, but everybody does. But does everybody throw moistened Jujubes at the screen to see if they'll stick? No, because that's a waste of good candy. So yeah, the Chill Stick. Not sure if the floating arm comes with it or you have to buy that separately, but $12 for both would be a steal.
Chill Stick Disguises A Six Pack [ohgizmo]
Feb 11 2008 OMGWTFBBQ Chicken Holder Is Iffy
The Col-Pop is the brainchild of BBQ Chicken USA (a Korean BBQ franchise). They have over 3,500 stores worldwide, but they're just making their way to the states (they have a handful of stores in NY, NJ, and NC), so you may have to wait a bit until you get to experience the awesomeness that is the Col-Pop. Basically it's a cup insert that perches your chicken nuggets safely and conveniently above your beverage. As you can see from the schematic there, it's pretty simple. Almost as simple as the version I created, which is liquefied chicken soda. Not only is it convenient, you don't have to worry about anybody trying to steal your nuggets. You know, because they're liquid and taste like shit.
Nov 26 2007 The Beer Pager: Never Lose Your Beer Again
The beer pager is basically a coaster with attached koozie that you put your beer in. If for any reason you misplace your precious life-blood you just push the page button and your beer loudly belches, indicating its location. The thing costs $20, runs on AAA batteries, and is pretty damn stupid. I mean, who misplaces a beer anyways? Sure I often lose unimportant items like my driver's license and wedding ring, but beer? Come on. Not to mention you're f'ed if you lose the pager. Finally, isn't it a little ridiculous that a product called The Beer Pager features a Coca-Cola can in the picture? Gluing a koozie to your hand: 1, The Beer Pager: 0.
Remote Control Beverage Pager [ohgizmo]
Aug 23 2007 Pocket Shots Portable Liquor
Pocket Shots are single serving portable liquor bags that look alarmingly like juice pouches. They're only being sold in California, Arizona, Wisconsin, Colorado, and New Mexico at the moment, but they're going nationwide soon (although I don't know why you'd want them). They come in all your favorite liquor flavors like Whisky and Tequila and are stupid as hell. A flask has always worked fine for me, and in a pinch I just line my pockets with plastic wrap. Now that's a real pocket shot.
A picture after the jump of body shot girls still not looking good even though I've been drinking all morning.
