Oct 31 2009 FYI: This Is How Geekologie Gets Written

I was sitting on it the whole time!!

Picture [thechive]

Thanks to Uberscooter, as badass as a scooter can be.

Sep 27 2009 Mobile Bar: Beer Bike Totes Two Kegs, Pizza

The Beer Bike was designed and created by Hopworks Urban Brewing of Portland, Oregon, and features two kegs and taps, plus a hot pizza storage unit. Impressive, but I can't even imagine pedaling two full kegs of beer around. I mean, those bitches are heavy. Sure, I've dated three-keg girls before, BUT I NEVER OFFERED THEM RIDES ON MY HANDLEBARS, NOW DID I?! I didn't. I demanded piggybacks!

Beer Bike! [mostlyhere]

Thanks to Kevin, who built a bike with an actual mobile brewery on the back.

May 5 2009 But Wait, There's More: Beer Pong Trick Shots

This is like 900 hours of beer pong trick shot footage cut down to 3:41. I'm sure most of you will hate it, but there will always be a soft spot in my heart for college-aged boys playing with their ba...ba...ba...buddies. Haha, you thought I was gonna say balls. I HAVE WHAT THEY CALL SELF CONTROL! Also, a Master's degree in Geekologie. mE=mcAwesome!

Youtube

Thanks to Dave, who, for the tip, can play on my team at the weekly beer pong tournament at Orange Ball in Rockville, MD. Airfare not included, sorry buddy.

Feb 28 2009 Yes Please!: World Of Warcraft Beer Steins

Oh hell yes. Now that's what I call drinking like a king! A Lich King. ZA-ZA-ZA-ZING! These World of Warcraft beer steins come in three models: the Lich King (pictured here), the Blood of the Horde, and the Alliance United (go HERE to check those out). Each costs $90 and is far superior to a Solo cup, both in volume AND ability to be used as a weapon. KA-CRACK! -15 your skull.

Order Page
via
World of Warcraft: Wrath of The Lich King Beer Stein [uberreview]

Feb 19 2009 Aaaah, College: Russian Beerbong Roulette

I remember one time in college I got so drunk I thought the electrical cord to the mini-fridge was my belt. Long story short: the milk went bad. Anyways, beer roulette: not as fun as beer darts, but how can you compete with the excitement of potentially piercing a friends nads (you can't!).

You fill the barrel in the center with beer (it holds up to two liters) and then you take turns with your companions at pulling out the bottles underneath it. The right bottle will unleash a torrent of amber pain into the unfortunate puller's gullet.

Amber pain? More like amber pleasure. And do you automatically win if you pull all the bottles at once? Yes, you do. Glug glug, bitches, glug glug. Also, that guy in the picture fails at proper bonging technique. But I do like how the chick in the back is drinking wine straight from the bottle. Marry me?

Russian Roulette Beer Bong Only Good for Irresponsible Frat House Fun [uberreview]

Feb 4 2009 Mmmm: Sierra Nevada Is Making Bio-Fuel

There was a time in my life when I drank Sierra Nevada like it was my job. Sadly, I was fired. And now the company is making bio-fuel with beer leftovers.

Sierra Nevada, brewer of delicious beers, has purchased a MicroFueler, a contraption that produces ethanol from water, sugar and yeast. Yeast also happens to be a major byproduct of beer fermentation, allowing them to make fuel out of beer leftovers.

Sierra Nevada powers cars with beer leftovers [dvice]

Dec 31 2008 I Like Cold Beverages: The Cooper Chiller

The $60 Cooper Cooler Rapid Beverage Chiller chills a beer down to 43 °F in sixty seconds. So, at the moderate drinking rate of one beer per 45 seconds, you only have 15 seconds of down time until the next beer is ready. Not too shabby. You just fill the P.O.S. with ice and water, and presto: it rotates your can, all the while hosing the aluminum bastard down with cold water. Of course, if you're looking for something a little more powerful -- something that can cool a beer instantly -- I've got two words for you: witch titties.

One Minute Drink Chiller Works Better Than A Fire Extinguisher [ohgizmo]

Dec 18 2008 'Tis The Season: Beer Bottle Christmas Trees

With Jesus' surprise roller-skating party just a week away, I thought I'd spread some holiday drunkeness in the form of beer bottle Christmas trees. This first one is made from 1,050 bottles, and there's a video after the jump of a Heineken tree with over 2,000. Also, I added a video of some drunkard making a Jagermeister tree out of a big piece of plywood and airplane bottles. It's amazing the time and effort people put into these things. A thousand bottles, 200 lights, 60 man-hours of labor, and one drunk Geekologie Writer to bring it all crashing down. Feliz cumpleaños, Jesus! And tell Santa I'll post nudey pics of Mrs. Claus if he pulls that coal shit again this year.

Hit it for the other videos.

Continue Reading " 'Tis The Season: Beer Bottle Christmas Trees "

Dec 3 2008 Out Of This World Deliciousness: Space Beer

Mmmm, space beer. It's the stuff my sci-fi fantasies are made of. Well, that, and the aquamarine breasts of alien chicks. Well now fantasy and reality collide -- with honest-to-God space beer (sort of)!

The beer will be made with barley -- to be harvested this weekend -- descended from seeds that spent five months in 2006 aboard the International Space Station.

Sapporo isn't planning to sell the special brew, at least for now, and hasn't decided how it will distribute the planned 100 bottles, Matsumura said.

So far, scientists have not found any difference between space barley and the Earth-confined version, she said.

First of all, The Geekologie Writer clearly deserves a bottle. And secondly, have you tried the new beer on tap at the Mos Eisley Cantina? It's called PEW PEW Pilsner. BWAHAHHA HAHA! Han shot first! Whew *wiping tear* God I hate myself.

Japanese brewery to make beer from space barley [heraldtribune]

Thanks to Jumpin_J and Pat, who, for the tips, can each get a sip of my space brew. Backwash.

Sep 17 2008 Mini Kegs: Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

Etsy seller hesslerk is selling this sleek Heineken mini keg amp for $120.

My liver suffered to bring you this awesome amp, don't worry... the beer went to a good cause!

The sleek design and sound quality will blow you away! Works great for Guitar, Bass, and MP3 players. Plugs into a standard wall outlet. The amp has a power switch and volume control.

I want it. I can't even play the guitar and my MP3 player got stolen by a monkey while vacationing in Costa Rica, but I still want it. I mean, I love beer. Which explains why I woke up in jail and had to make up a lame excuse for why I showed up for work so late.

Hit the jump for one more picture.

Continue Reading " Mini Kegs: Not Just For Breakfast Anymore "

Sep 9 2008 It's About Freaking Time: A USB Bottle Opener

Let's face it, drinking and data storage were made for each other. So why has it taken so long for somebody to make a sharp looking 16GB bottle opener? Beats me -- your guess is as good as mine. Unless you guessed government conspiracy or ninjas, in which case your guess was even better.

Thumb drive/bottle opener combo is one seriously useful gadget [dvice]

Aug 15 2008 Fire Beer, Not Bullets: The Beerdolier

Last week it was the Beer Belt, and now this week, the Beerdolier. Oh hell yes! The $15 Beerdolier holds six cans of sweet beer AND keeps them cold thanks to its unpatented koozie technology. These things are freaking awesome! Can you imagine a world in which a war (World War Brew) is fought with beer instead of bullets? I can, it's called Utopia, and I just drank all the ammo. Oh, time for a munitions dump.

The Beerdolier: Drink Like a Commando [gizmodo]

Aug 6 2008 Pure Class (And Alcohol): The Beer Belt

The Beer Belt costs $18 from Urban Outfitters and holds six cans or bottles. But I assume if you're buying this you'll be carrying bottles. And not just because they're classier (although they are), but to carry six cans, you just put your belt through a loop in one of those plastic 6-pack carriers that strangles birds. But whichever way you go, there's one thing for certain: you'll be looking damn good. And, depending on how fast you drink, chugging warm beers. Just saying, scientists invented ice for a reason.

The Beer Belt: A utility belt for your brewskies [dvice]

Jul 30 2008 Drinking Buddy: Malaysian Pen-Tailed Shrew

Well folks, I've found myself a new drinking buddy. The Malaysian pen-tailed shrew subsists entirely on fermented nectar from the pertam palm plant, which can be as high as 3.8 percent alcohol.

A new study found that the tiny animal subsists on a diet roughly equivalent to 100 percent beer... Amazingly, though the tree shrews drink like fish, they don't seem to get drunk. The researchers, led by Frank Wiens of Germany's University of Bayreuth, videotaped regular nocturnal feeding sessions and followed the movements of radio-tagged tree shrews. Though they measured blood-alcohol concentrations in the animals higher than those in humans with similarly high alcohol intake, the tree shrews showed no signs of intoxication.

Well folks, no sense hiding it now -- I had sex with a shrew. The pen-tailed variety, dear reader, is my progeny.

Tiny tree shrew can drink you under the table [msnbc]

Thanks to Chad, the only man who's ever come close to beating my pen-tailed progeny in a drinking contest.

Jul 3 2008 Robot Bartender Serves Beer, I Don't Tip

Mr. Asahi was made by Japanese based Asahi Breweries and serves beer before stealing your girlfriend and making out with her in the walk-in cooler. It took over 200 man-hours to build Mr. Robobeer and he's pretty much limited to opening bottles and pouring draft beer. Did I mention he talks? He talks. Now I'm torn here because for once in my life I'm strangely attracted to a robot, but I think it's only because he serves beer. I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or, okay, my roommate and the arm of the sofa. Great, now he's drooling on me.

Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of Mr. Asahi in action.

Continue Reading " Robot Bartender Serves Beer, I Don't Tip "

Jun 30 2008 Drinking And Driving: Party-A-CarGo

The Party-A-CarGo isn't just the worst named product I've seen in recent history, it's also the drinking-and-drivingest. What is it you ask? Why it's a kegorator and sound system hitch, of course. The $3,000 unit holds a regular keg, 5-gallon cooling system, two 6"x9" speakers, 10" subwoofer, and 9" LCD television. No extension kits or dash-mounted taps available, "I've been drinking" sign optional, but not recommended.

Party-A-CarGo slaps a kegorator on the back of your truck [dvice]