Nov 16 2009 Bedtime Stories: Bioshock Told In 3 Minutes
This is a three-minute video of a woman reading the tale of Bioshock to a little kid old-ass man as a bedtime story. And, as a guy who recently played through Bioshock with his older brother (with all the lights on, and never after 7PM), I thought it was pretty good. But don't watch it unless you want the whole story spoiled. Because that's what it does, it spoils. Just like bad parents. YOU'LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!
One Upon a Pixel [gametrailers]
Thanks to Jaker, the Joker's less clown-y brother. No makeup for him!
Nov 14 2009 Transfurniture: Couch Turns Into Bunk Bed
Ever wanted a couch that transforms into bunk beds? Me neither. I do want one that turns into a fighter jet though. Okay you got me, I do want a transformer bunk bed. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE SENTIENT OR I WILL DRAG THAT SHIT OUT INTO THE YARD AND BURN IT.
A SOFABED THAT DOES DOUBLE DUTY, Mobelform's Doc folds out into not one, but two twin sized beds stacked one atop the other: in short, a bunk bed. Included are the necessary mattresses as well as a ladder and short rail to prevent mid-night tumbles.
This reminds me of the time my cousin was spending the night and my parents let him sleep in my bunk bed and made me sleep on the floor. Well, he rolled out of the bed in the middle of the night and fell five feet to the ground and didn't even wake up. I thought he was dead. He might have been dead.
Hit the jump for another bed making the transformation.
Continue Reading " Transfurniture: Couch Turns Into Bunk Bed "
Oct 26 2009 Homeless Style: Cardboard Print Bed Covers
Ever wanted a bedspread that's printed to look like a bunch of cardboard boxes taped together? Who hasn't!? And one that looks like a snake pit, am I right? No -- just me? What the hell's the matter with you people?
This high quality duvet cover features a photographic print of a cardboard box. This produces an extremely sharp image that stays flexible because the ink is printed directly in the cotton. The image will stay crisp after frequent washing.
The cotton has a thread count of 144 threads per square inch, so it's soft to the touch virtually non-iron. The duvet cover is produced in Pakistan and child labour is not used.30% of the gross profits go to Centrepoint, the UK charity for homeless young people aged 16-25 (charity number 292411). Every night Centrepoint provides support and housing for 800 vulnerable homeless young people.
I actually kind of like it, and $81 for a king size ain't bad (plus $10/pillowcase). Of course, you're going to have a lot of explaining to do if you try bringing a girl home. Namely, why there's a homeless person sleeping in your room. I'm a drifter, okay?!
Thanks to Closet Nerd, who made a quilt out of trashbags but it blew away and got stuck on top of a light pole.
Aug 11 2009 Spoiled: Dad Makes Son Y-Wing Bunk Bed
Obviously vying for a coveted 'Father of the Year' award, some guy went and made his son a Y-Wing bunk bed and hangar themed bedroom. Impressive, guy, but what you don't know is that your son didn't want to sleep in a Y-Wing -- he wanted to sleep in a tauntaun! He was just too embarrassed to say so because he knew how much it meant for you to be able to drink beer in the garage and play with power tools. Son of the year? No, but I wouldn't put him up for adoption either. He's a keeper.
Hit the jump for several more shots of the ridiculousness.
Jul 20 2009 I Would Never Leave: The Hi-Can Luxury Bed
The Hi-Can luxury bed has everything you've ever wanted in a bed minus a bathroom and snack bar. Oh, and dancing pole. I like to strip myself to sleep.
A theater screen pulls down at the foot of the bed for viewing television or movies. An integrated personal computer system means you can work or surf the web in bed as well. Game consoles are built in for added entertainment value. Lights for reading and shades for sleeping are also fully integrated.
Eh, it's a little too weird looking for my taste. Besides, I've been sleeping on a pile of clothes for the past two years and, quite frankly, I think your mom likes it just fine. BU-BU-BU-BURN! But seriously, wonderful lady.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a brief video.
Continue Reading " I Would Never Leave: The Hi-Can Luxury Bed "
Jul 13 2009 You Will Be Mine, Oh Yes, You Will Be Mine: Cheeseburger Bed For Sale On eBay
Relax my little lambs, I'm alive. I apologize for not being able to post this past weekend but I've been traveling and am staying at a place with no internet (heathens!). Currently, I'm bringing Geekologie to you from an undisclosed public library near Miami, Florida (COME FIND ME, I DARE YOU!). So yeah, I didn't die and I'm sorry, okay? I swear I'll make it up to you. Nudie pics? You got em. And whatever you female readers would like as well.
So, remember the hamburger bed story Geekologie broke earlier this year? WELL IT'S FOR SALE ON EBAY AND I AM GONNA BE SLEEPING BETWEEN THOSE BUNS IN NO TIME! Now, which one of you lovely ladies wants to slide under that 8-foot sesame seedy goodness with yours truly? I'm quicker than fast food all Kobe beef, just sayin'.
Thanks to Kayla, who actually made the bed. What do you say, Kayla, one last romp in the burger? And to Aaron, who can watch but not touch.
Jun 25 2009 No Thanks: World's Largest Alarm Clock
The world's largest alarm clock is actually the sun, but I'll look past that for the sake of this scary bitch, who's convinced he's made the largest. Now I don't want to ruin the video for you, but there is absolutely no way he originally designed that as an alarm.
The World's Biggest Alarm Clock [geekygadgets]
Thanks to MaverickPS, who wakes up the way God intended: with a dog licking his face.
Jun 24 2009 Afraid To Sleep: The Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock
The Sonic Bomb alarm clock is powerful enough to raise the dead. Why? For one, it comes with a 113dB alarm (louder than a jackhammer). But if that's not enough to wake you from your beauty fugly rest, it also flashes a bedside lamp on and off and has a 12-volt bed vibrator. Awake yet? The bomb sells for $43 and is guaranteed to make you frightened to fall asleep. Not unlike my creepy roommate, who, damnit, I CAN SEE YOU THERE BY THE DRESSER.
Thanks to Cameron, who BOOM SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE THE ROOM.
Jun 22 2009 Lookin' Sharp: Klingon Inspired Baby Products
Want your child to grow up a powerful warrior with a mountain range for a head? Then you're in luck, thanks to this traditional Klingon blade inspired crib! You just place your little tyke in there, occasionally throw a lion in the room for him/her to battle, and six years later, PRESTO, you're arrested for child neglect. Also, you have a pack of hungry lions living in your nursery.
Hit the jump to see a rocking horse and baby rattle of the same style.
Continue Reading " Lookin' Sharp: Klingon Inspired Baby Products "
Jun 16 2009 You + Me - Clothes + Mario = Romance
This handmade bed blanket was created by Etsy seller punzie and looks great (punzie also does custom work and has a bunch of other designs if you look in the sold items section). Granted, it would look even better with you underneath it. I'm not talking dead hooker style either, I'm talking real romantical like. What do you say, come over around 8? We'll fire up some oldschool NES, drink some sparkling cider (my parents don't allow alcohol in the house) and then retire to my luxurious twin-size. Oooh, you like a little role playing, do you? Well then, let me just slip into my Raccoon Mario costume. Okay, now pretend you're a garbage can.
Hit the jump for a ton more blankets (including some Zelda, Mega Man and Metroid action) and another link to the Etsy store.
Apr 30 2009 Graphical!: Some Sweet Adobe Suite Pillows
I was gonna do the whole FAKE! bit on this post but then I realized I've done it like three times already and that's way too many for any one person, so I decided not to. Anyway, this is a set of Adobe icon pillows, featuring all your favorite design programs like Photoshop, Illustrator, and that handsome devil Dreamweaver. Prices are as Illustratored(!). Buy the whole set and save $10. Buy sweatshop free and save some third-world youth's fingers. Buy me a drink and then take me home and do me. RAWR!
Adobe Creative Suite Pillows Are All About Design [gizmodo]
Thanks to Jesse, who doesn't need a pillow to be comfortable because she sleeps in the clouds with unicorns. Lucky!
Mar 27 2009 Pillow Blanket: I Need One Like, Last Night
The Pillow Blanket is a blanket made out of interconnecting pillows that looks comfy as all hell. I want one. And not just for the pillow fights you and I could have! No, I would throw myself down on that mother after a long night of drinking and puke to my stomach's content. But not choke on it -- I ain't going out like that! Or am I? I probably am.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " Pillow Blanket: I Need One Like, Last Night "
Mar 25 2009 Neat: The Science Of Little Red Riding Hood
This is probably the coolest telling of Little Red Riding Hood I've ever seen not including the one where Red was a busty college co-ed and the wolf was just a guy with a monster dong and bear costume (low budget). But he still ate her alright! The grandmother too. *HORFITY HORF HORF BLOW CHUNKS*
Slagsmålsklubben [vimeo]
Thanks to Chris, who has never done a wolf but has had several cougars. Older ladies?
Feb 3 2009 It's Elemental: A Periodic Table Duvet
This is a duvet cover that a loving woman made for her chemistry major boyfriend. I think this is the first time I've ever typed duvet. Secretly, I liked it.
You may or may not have seen a post I did back in the fall when I was in the planning stages of making a quilt for my boyfriend for Christmas, featuring the "periodic table of the elements", because he is a Chemistry major, and I thought he'd find it totally epic.
Unfortunately, It became a duvet cover instead of a quilt because of a) time constraints and the fact that I still had gifts for 7 or 8 other people that I was making and b) buying the batting for the inside would have put me $50 over budget instead of just $10 over. (shh, don't tell him.)
Haha, he totally just got told. And also, I want one. I'm gonna don an eyepatch and get my argon under that sucker. Know what I'm saying? You bring the parrot.
Hit the jump for several more of the construction.
Jan 14 2009 Mmmm, Delicious Sleep: The Hamburger Bed
The Hamburger bed (which is actually a cheeseburger) is a round bed that looks like a hamburger and has a Facebook fan page. I was going to become a fan, but decided I'd probably end up stalking that delicious bitch and that would bad. So, instead, I'm going to make my own taco bed.
UPDATE: So I had this weird dream about being a giant last night and, f***, I think I ate my pillows.
Hit the jump for a few more shots and a link to the burger's Facebook page. And, while you're at it, friend me, ladies.
Continue Reading " Mmmm, Delicious Sleep: The Hamburger Bed "
Dec 24 2008 Blast Out Of Bed With The Rocket Alarm!
The $25 Rocket Launcher Alarm Clock is phallic as hell and I want one really badly. When it's time to wake up the rocket ship blasts off -- and you have to retrieve said rocket and replace it on the base for the beeping to stop. Alternatively, you can break the base. And while this certainly isn't the worst way to wake up, it is a close second behind the SWAT team busting into your bedroom. Those guys act like they've never seen a little morning wood before. Somebody fetch the proverbial buck saw -- this timber looks like a two-man job.
rocket launcher alarm clock blasts into orbit to wake you up [technabob]
Thanks to Julian, who requires like 16 diamond-toothed chainsaws to dispatch his morning lumber.
Nov 25 2008 Nanotech Material Never Gets Wet, EVER
Scientists at the University of Zurich have developed a material that never gets wet. Even if you play romantic music and kiss it tenderly.
The fabric is constructed of polyester fibers that are covered in a layer of 40-nanometer-wide silicone nanofilaments. These nanofilaments are spiky and cause water to sit in a sphere above the fabric, a permanent pocket of air protected safely below.
The material even reduces drag in water by 20%! I have no idea what sort of implications that has, but I think it's something to do with waterproof sheets. Because I used to date a girl that would drink Redbull and vodka all night and then, WITHOUT FAIL, piss the bed. God she sucked. So if you want to make fun of her or call her a hosebag, feel free. Her name and address are:
UPDATE: Ha, silly lawyers.
Nanotech Material Never Gets Wet, Even When Wet [gizmodo]
Thanks to Richthegringo, who keeps the ladies like a tropical rainforest. You know, with all sorts of crazy animals and shit.
Nov 12 2008 It's The Future!: Gmail, Now With Video Chat
Truthfully, I only use Gmail and Gmail chat to communicate with two select individuals (you know who you are). But now, thanks to the marvel of modern technology, we can talk it up with streaming video. Oh happy day! You ever videochat with a blogger that's only left bed to let the dog out and eat three bowls of cereal? And on a side note: did that just make your loins tingle? Because it did mine. Just kidding, bed bugs.
Sep 26 2008 Sleep Standing Up With The Vertical Bed
Artist Jamie O'Shea's Vertical Bed combines two of my favorite things: sleeping. Standing can go f*** itself, because I hate it. I like lying down.
The Vertical Bed won't save you from poking and prodding, but with sunglasses on, noise-canceling headphones, a neck-pillow for comfort, and an umbrella to keep you dry, that's a pretty good start. The Vertical Bed will keep you upright thanks to hooks attached to the shoes that will lock into subway grates, and braces and concealed harnesses that keep your legs and back supported. It all conveniently folds down into a briefcase.
You know, I tried to sleep standing up once, but when I started to doze I fell over. To my credit though, I was pretty drunk -- on life! Just kidding, it was the shine.
The Vertical Bed: Power nap in the middle of the street [dvice]
Sep 15 2008 Yes, Please!: A New Star Wars Bedding Set
Star Wars sheets: no man's bed is complete without them. I had Dukes of Hazzard sheets growing up, so I think it's about time for some Star Wars action. Sold by Pottery Barn, the set is expensive, but well worth it. Just imagine: a bottle of wine, some aromatic candles, a whole box of Star Wars condoms, this bedding set, and you stretched out on top PEW PEWing your own spaceship with a numb hand (The Phantom Menace). I know, it almost sounds too romantic.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the collection.
Continue Reading " Yes, Please!: A New Star Wars Bedding Set "
