Nov 6 2009 Dolores: Germany's Hairless Spectacled Bear
Ever wonder what a bear with no hair would look like? This. Poor Dolores has lost her coat. She's a bare bear! I know, sometimes my word wizardry amazes even me.
Vets have been left baffled by the condition of the bespectacled bear, who lives at a zoo in Leipzig.
And Dolores isn't the only one. The sudden hair loss has affected all female bears at the zoo.Some experts believe it could be due to a genetic defect though the animals do not seem to be suffering from any other affliction.
The bears, which originate from South America, normally have fluffy dark brown fur and would now be growing a thicker fur coat to keep warm during the winter.
Well Rogaine those bitches or something -- this shit ain't right! As much as I do love hunting bears and killing the shit out of them WITH MY BEAR HANDS (more word sorcery), bald bears make me sad as hell. Remember Fuzzy Wuzzy? Brings a tear to my eye.
Hit the jump for three more shots, including one of what Dolores normally looks like.
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Oct 1 2009 For Sale: The World's Largest Gummi Bears
I have no idea if these five pound gummi bears are, in fact, the world's largest commercially available sugar bombs, but I do know they look rats and not bears.
The World's Largest Gummy Bear is the lion of the candy world. There is no candy more magnificent or more powerful. This five-pound beast is the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears and packs a whopping 12,600 calories.
Its monstrous size is only matched by its enormous taste. The World's Largest Gummy Bear tastes just as delicious as its pint-sized counterpart.Available in several flavors: blue raspberry, red cherry, and green apple. Hand-made in the USA.
Each bear will set you back $30 plus whatever you incur at the dentist. Which, if you play your cards right and flirt with the hygienist, could be a tank of nitrous. Just saying, A-WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAH. I feel like I'm on a spaceship!
Hit the jump for a moderately humorous commercial for the things.
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Sep 8 2009 Robotic Bear Will Kill You In The Hospital
This is a promotional video for RIKEN's RIBA, a robotic pedo-bear that was designed to pick hospital patients up out of their beds and discreetly crush their genitals. Yeah, no thanks. Oh, and don't let the Whinny the Pooh music in the video fool you, this robo-bear would maul your whole damn face off and wear it like a mask for a single pot of oil. Don't believe me? Ask Piglet.
Couldn't find him, could you? Draw your own conclusions.*
*Tigger and I roasted that delicious son of a bitch.
Thanks to ANON, who once got Pooh so high he ate like forty jars of honey and then tried to rob a hive at gunpoint.
