Jul 16 2008 Oops: How Not To Use A Drive-Through ATM
This is how not to use a drive-through ATM. Now I hate to sound sexist or anything, but this is quite clearly a woman's doing. So what if the only people in the truck were a guy and his 10-year old son? His wife probably demanded some cash before allowing them to leave on their male-bonding camping trip. And you know what she was gonna use the money for while they were gone? Shoes. Shoes and, more than likely, a male stripper. Now do I know women or do I know women? I freaking know them like the back of my hand. See, there's the scar from when I cut myself opening a can of catfood, and there's the...wait a minute, I don't remember getting a "chauvinist asshole" tattoo.
Note: Thankfully, both the driver and his son escaped from the truck unharmed.
Thanks Kate and Jaybone, either one of you want to be towed behind my truck on an office chair? We could go through the drive through at Dairy Queen and get ice creams.
Feb 8 2008 Patent 5163447: The Musical Prophylactic
Patent 5163447 describes a "force-sensitive, sound-playing condom." The safety device features "a chip-controlled piezoelectric sound transducer (18) which plays a melody or voiced message when during intercourse the contacts of the sound-playing unit are closed and the transducer is activated." The inventor, Paul Lyons, actually sent me a few samples in time for Valentine's last year, but the results proved disastrous. Apparently the Star Wars theme didn't make my girlfriend as amorous as it made me. Neither did the Darth Vader mask I insisted she wear.
The uncensored picture after the jump.
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