Nov 12 2009 Google Streets Spots Fire Truck Hit Old Lady
Honestly, I bet the old lady ran right into the side of the thing (old ladies are notoriously bad bike riders. *ahem* Grandma -- I saw you hit that bus shelter!). There's a before shot after the jump, but unfortunately the above image has since been removed from Google Maps. I smell conspiracy. I mean, it's not like the old lady asked to have have it removed. Old people using computers -- HA! They're better at avoiding fire trucks!
Hit it for the before shot and a link to the action area.
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Oct 12 2009 Good Ideas: Roofie Detecting Lip Balm
2 Love My Lips is $16 lip gloss that comes with test strips to determine if your drink has been roofied with drugs like GHB or Ketamine. It's a smart idea and I urge everyone to keep a close eye on their beverages at all times (and not just because I'll ninja-drink that shit, but I 100% will).
"If a drink tastes funny, or you are suspicious something is amiss simply dab the ends of the taper in your drink and if they turn blue tell your friends immediately and get help from Security and the Police."
Seriously, roofies are no laughing matter and if you suspect your drink's been spiked I want you to ask me to chug it. BECAUSE I WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU. Knight in shining armor? No, I'm trying to forget that bad.
Feb 17 2009 Fail: Two Nuclear Subs Crash Into Each Other
In an unprecedented subbing fail, a British nuclear sub recently crashed into a French one. I've got the feeling somebody swerved out of their lane (read: the Frenchies, they're suckers for red wine).
Officials said the low-speed crash did not damage the vessels' nuclear reactors or missiles or cause radiation to leak. But anti-nuclear groups said it was still a frightening reminder of the risks posed by submarines prowling the oceans powered by radioactive material and bristling with nuclear weapons.
France said that Le Triomphant suffered damage to a sonar dome -- where navigation and detection equipment is stored -- and limped home to its base on L'Ile Longue on France's western tip. HMS Vanguard returned to a submarine base in Scotland with visible dents and scrapes, the BBC reported.
Just as I feared, they're making these stealth subs too stealthy. Next thing you know somebody's going to run into the Lock Ness Monster and kill poor Nessy. And, when it happens (and it will), we will finally know the truth: how delicious is monster BBQ?
British, French nuclear subs collide in Atlantic [yahoonews]
Thanks to Totex, who once caught a nuclear sub trying to sneak up the drain into his bathtub. And to Kyle, who once called Poseidon a bitch and lived to tell about it.
Jan 20 2009 Guy Gets Arm Replaced Luke Skywalker Style
Evan Reynolds, 19, got his hand and part of his arm ripped off in a car accident and has since been fitted with an i-LIMB, a robotic hand developed by an Apple/Star Wars fanboy.
The i-Limb was developed by a Scottish company, Touch Bionics, and has won awards for its innovative technology. The total cost including the hand itself and the fitting is about £30,000.
"It's so sensitive I can grip a bottle of water or a paper cup without crushing it, and even swing a racket. All I have to so is imagine picking something up or gripping it and the fingers and thumb move automatically."Mr Reynolds said his disability has not stopped him playing sport, his greatest passion, nor has it crushed his spirit.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fake arms and shit, but I'd still be pissed if Evan could throw the ball better than me. And that, dear reader, is only one of the thousands of reasons why I'm going to spend eternity in hell with a piece of glowing charcoal in my ass.
Bionic hand gives student new lease of life [telegraph]
Thanks to MoMan, who fears the day his robotic prosthetic turns on him and rips his penis off.
Jan 12 2009 Oh My God A New Sex Toy Thingy For Guys
The Real Touch may look like a torture device (and may, in fact, BE a torture device), but is allegedly the latest advancement in solitary male pleasure. Just look at that thing -- reminds me of the time my penis got run over by a Sherman tank. I'm sure it's safe though. After all, it was designed and "thoroughly tested" by a NASA engineer.
It's a computer-controlled "stimulation" device that uses specially encoded content to bring a sort of virtual-reality experience to, um, a certain member. Using a host of technologies, the futuristic-looking computer peripheral simulates motion, adjusts temperature and provides lubrication. The encoding is deciphered by a custom Windows Media Player plugin.
Basically you plug the unit's USB cable into your computer, plug your unit into the unit, and presto!: it mimics the feelings you'd experience if you were actually banging the chick in the porno and not sitting at a computer desk sobbing into a stained gym sock.
The Real Touch is available now for $150. And, if you get the chance AND ARE NOT AT WORK NSFW NSFW NSFW you HAVE TO go to the official website and watch the video of the chick explaining the device. It was....something.
NSFW NSFW NSFW Official Website NSFW NSFW NSFW
via
The sickest gadget DVICE saw in Vegas [dvice]
Thanks to Rachel, whose lucky man doesn't need a Real Touch.
Dec 22 2008 Wow: Man Breaks Knee Playing Guitar Hero
Some guy broke his knee playing Guitar Hero. Well, it wasn't actually the game that did it, he was trying to do a Rockette high-kick or some shit for extra style points. He failed.
I was face to face with my Arch Nemesis/Very Good Friend/Roommate Craig. It was time to see who could out rock each other while playing Texas Flood.
We were neck in neck in points... I had to do something special. I needed STYLE points. I breathed deep, my rock meter was maxed out and I was going to make this audience feel it. I twisted to the right and threw my guitar in the air! Instead of a roaring audience I heard a loud snap! My knee slid to the outside of my leg and my leg bent sideways as I fell to the ground.Half the people in the room were concerned the other half called me a pussy. One guy, the Geekologie Writer, spilled a drink my couch and then puked everywhere. It was projectile. He left without cleaning it up.
Ha, and don't you ever forget it. I don't just puke, I PEW PEWK.
GuitarHeroBrokeMyKnee.com (complete with grody picture section)
Thanks to Jennaiii, who once broke my heart during a game of Rock Band.
Nov 26 2008 Remember: Drive Safely This Holiday Season
With the holidays rapidly approaching (read: Thanksgiving's tomorrow) there's a whole lot of traveling going on. And for those of you that will be out on the roads -- be careful. Winter weather is upon us, and so are all the crazies. So be safe, and don't drive like this. You know, like a woman. OH SNAP! Haha, now my girlfriend is kicking me in the nuts. It kind of hurts and feels good at the same time. Okay, that one just hurt. Honey, please, not the rolling pin!
Hit the jump for another one. But seriously folks, be safe, they've banned Geekologie in most hospitals.
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