Aug 31 2009 Branded Jägermeister Cooler With Tap
I can't drink Jäger because it makes my clothes fall off and catch fire and me fight people and break stuff and all kinds of other awesome things that I have to start saving for special occassions. But hey, if you do regularly enjoy black licorice flavored unicorn blood, you're in luck.
The cooler holds 6 bottles of your drink, with two of them hooked into the built-in dispenser. There's plenty of room for other drinks (ie. Red Bull) so as to keep things interesting. If you really love Jägermeister, then $120 (drinks not included) will get you this branded cooler.
I assume it'll work with any bottle that's short enough to fit in the cooler. Which isn't a terrible idea, but you could just get a regular cooler, and then screw the cap off and pour the drink whenever you want some. Archaic, I know, but you did just save yourself $100. And you know how many extra bottles of Jäger that is? I don't -- I TOLD YOU I DON'T DRINK THAT SHIT. Bourbon. So hot it burns my lips.
Jun 13 2009 Meat Hero: Man Gets Struck By Lightning While BBQing, Only Utters 'Sausages'
Eric Brocklebank, 64, got struck by lightning while manning the barbecue. And what did he have to say about it? Sausages.
"It was like an implosion inside my body."
"There was so much pressure inside of me and I couldn't see properly. I could just make out the faint outline of people heading my way."It came in through my arm, which is burnt, then it must have gone down through my body and out through my feet."
He added: "I was told the only thing I could say as I was drifting in and out of consciousness was 'sausages'."
Somebody get this man an award. Not only does he brave the elements to cook some delicious meat, but he gets struck by lightning and SOMEHOW KEEPS HIS BURNT EYES ON THE SAUSAGE-Y PRIZE. My God they must have been delicious.
Lightning bolt heats up BBQ [thesun]
Thanks to Vask, who nominates Eric for a 2009 Wiener Award.
Apr 21 2009 Jones Is Back With An Even Better Business
Remember Toby Jones of Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage? Well he's back with another genius business idea, this time in the form of Jones' Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage. As you can see from the video, they even have fried dinosaur. Which, at least in my opinion, is just plain wrong. I'm no black widow!
Jones' Good Ass BBQ And Foot Massage [jonesbigasstruckrentalandstorage]
Thanks to my brother SuperFrank, who almost burnt the house down trying to fry a porkchop sandwich. My God did that smell good.
Mar 5 2009 It'll Get You Drunk!: The McNuggitini *HORF*
The McNuggitini is a cocktail inspired by the deliciousness that is a McDonald's (all clay) milkshake and Chicken McNuggets (which do constitute an emergency).
Ingredients:
2 McNuggz (plus more for snacking)
1 tub McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce (plus more for licking off pinky finger)
1 lg. Mcdonalds Brand Chocolate Milkshake (plus more for bringing all the boys to the yard)
1 bottle Vanilla Vodka (recommended brand: Absolut)
Open the McDonalds bag. Eat one McNugg each, followed by two bites of the Filet-o-Fish (make sure you don't tell anyone that you eat Filet-o-Fishes).
Mix three or four shots of vanilla vodka in the McDonalds Brand Chocolate Milkshake, followed by one shot each directly into your mouth.
Rim each martini glass with McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce, and pour milkshake/vodka mixture into the glass. Garnish with a McNugg (which is to be swiped along barbeque sauce rimmed glass after the milkshake has been finished, and consumed with pure, unadulterated glee).
My goodness that sounds....puke in my mouth-y. I do like vodka though. But I only take it ultra-neat. I'm talking straight to the vein, folks -- mainlining! ALL ABOARD THE PASS-OUT EXPRESS, NEXT STOP: BATHROOM FLOOR. CHOO CHOO!
Hit the link if you want to see a pictorial of the McNuggitini experience featuring Alie and Georgia.
In Which Georgia Gives You The McNuggetini [thisrecording]
Thanks to Tank and Bronson, who, not to be outdone, invented the Fillet O' Fishtini.
Aug 8 2008 It's Paper!: Montauk Monster Mystery Solved
Remember Brian Chan? He's Geekologie's Folder In Residence. Well this morning he wrote to let me know he singlehandedly solved the Montauk Monster mystery: It's a single piece of folded paper! ZOMG, government conspiracy! This just proves the point I've been trying to make for awhile now: when there's no simple answer, blame the government. They're bound to have f***ed up somehow. And also, taxes. They make you pay them.
Hit the jump for a close-up and comparison shot showing the monster for what it really is.
Continue Reading " It's Paper!: Montauk Monster Mystery Solved "
Aug 7 2008 OMGWTFBBQ Casemod, Awesome!
Spotted at QuakeCon 2008, some guy modded his computer to fit inside a barbecue grill. It (as if you couldn't tell) is the awesome. I especially like how the cooling fans glow to simulate fire. Nice touch. Now I dare someone to slap their meat on it.
One more picture of the setup after the jump.
Jul 1 2008 Paper Shampoo: Because Liquids Are Sketchy
The last time I tried to fly I woke up on the floor beside the bed. And the time before that airport security confiscated my juice box. Needless to say my hair was unkempt. So how can you get some shampoo on your next flight without a hassle? Simple -- Paper Shampoo.
Paper Shampoo comes in boxes of 30 sheets and costs $12.50 for two packages. They dissolve into a lather whenever you add water (including salt-water, which is awesome because I do the majority of my bathing at sea). Plus they're mint scented. And if there's one thing I've learned in my 40-odd years on this planet, it's this: mint-flavored hair is freaking delicious.
Paper Shampoo lets you travel with clean hair without being branded a terrorist [dvice]
May 15 2008 BBQ Sword Perfect For A Masked Meat Thief
The $30 BBQ Sword is a grilling accessory made to look like a sword. As you can see, it features a nice hilt and the end is pronged so you can stab meat. As an added bonus the cardboard box it comes in has a mask cutout so you can pilfer your neighbor's meat without revealing your identity.
Whether you're prancing around the garden making a total Athos of yourself, flummoxing guests with your frankly ridiculous mask or thrusting away at a regiment of seditious quarterpounders, the BBQ Sword is guaranteed to become your new favorite cooking implement. Most impressive of all we've managed to write (this entire review) without mentioning pork swords. On guard!
I want one. Oh, and what the hell is a pork sword? Is that a slang term for hot dong or cockwurst? Because, if it is, whoever wrote that review is vulgar. Grow up already.
Thanks to Jackie, who apparently works for the company and should send me a free one of these.
May 14 2008 Folding Grill Has A High Level Of Portability
The Notebook Portable Flat-Folding BBQ is a $40 grill that, even when collapsed, still has more sensuous curves than my girlfriend.
Picture the scene. It's the height of summer, or what passes for summer. You're off to the park with your chums. You've just had a big night out and you've got the serious 'munchies', as we believe it's called. You now have a choice. Run off down to the Co-op for a few tubes of Pringles... or run off down to the Co-op for a few chicken drumsticks, sausages, veggie skewers and massive fat burgers.
Oh yeah, I'm totally with you. Serious 'munchies', that's just what I've got. Oh God, I hate Pringles, those things suck, what I'm after is a delicious piece of man meat.
Fully collapsing to just a few inches thick, it's ultra-light and ultra-portable yet robust and sturdy wherever you choose to put it. Just plonk it down, light it up and you're a twisted firestarter, as my nephew likes to put it.
Umm, yeah. So should I call the police on this guy's pyro nephew or can one of you do it? In all seriousness though, I like the grill and will definitely buy one. Just as soon as they learn how to make folding bags of charcoal.
Product Page [gadgetshop]
Thanks Mulva, come over this weekend and I'll cook you up a dog. My wife's -- the damn thing keeps crapping on the carpet.
Feb 11 2008 OMGWTFBBQ Chicken Holder Is Iffy
The Col-Pop is the brainchild of BBQ Chicken USA (a Korean BBQ franchise). They have over 3,500 stores worldwide, but they're just making their way to the states (they have a handful of stores in NY, NJ, and NC), so you may have to wait a bit until you get to experience the awesomeness that is the Col-Pop. Basically it's a cup insert that perches your chicken nuggets safely and conveniently above your beverage. As you can see from the schematic there, it's pretty simple. Almost as simple as the version I created, which is liquefied chicken soda. Not only is it convenient, you don't have to worry about anybody trying to steal your nuggets. You know, because they're liquid and taste like shit.
Feb 5 2007 Bruce BBQ Balcony grill
Ever wanted to grill meat in a flower pot? Ever wanted to grill meat in a flower pot on your balcony? Well, boy, have your specific tastes been answered. The Bruce BBQ is a balcony grill that, well, does exactly what it looks like it does. "Which is what?" you ask. Hunts deer from your balcony! Okay not really, I just wanted to surprise you.
