Nov 3 2009 Could A Human Beat A T-Rex Arm Wrestling?
I say yes, but Jack Conrad, a vertebrate paleontologist at the American Museum of Natural History in New York, is arguing otherwise. Don't act like you know dinosaurs. I KNOW DINOSAURS!
"Doesn't matter," Conrad says. "There's no chance that any human alive could win." The T. rex's arms might have looked wimpy, but they were extremely strong. Each was about three feet long and, based on the size of the arm bones and analysis of the spots where muscle attached to the bone, they were jacked. "The bicep alone--and this is a conservative estimate--could curl 430 pounds," Conrad says. Even the beefiest humans max out at around an embarrassing 260 pounds.
Surely an Over the Top-era Sylvester Stallone would put up a good fight? "Not even Lou Ferrigno in his prime would stand a chance," Conrad says. "They didn't just have big biceps. Their chest and shoulder muscles were huge too. They had huge arms and shoulders--bigger than my leg. They had the strength to rip a human's arm right out of its socket."
So you don't think I could beat a t-rex? Well Jack, I guess there's only one way to settle this. *warming up time machine* See you in a second!
UPDATE: Yes, AND have sex with it afterward. Put that one in your science book and intelligently design it!
Could a Human Beat a T. Rex In Arm Wrestling? [popsci]
Thanks to Xkrimeg, who could beat a giant arm created in a government laboratory at arm wrestling despite her being a girl and built for domestic chores.
Nov 2 2009 iPhone Fan Makes Anti-Droid Commercial
If you watch television you've probably seen the anti-iPhone Droid commercial that Verizon is running (if you haven't, watch it after the jump first). Well this is an anti-Droid commercial in the same style, created by a crazed iPhone fan that doesn't like it when people bad-talk his girlfriend. TOO BAD THE HUSSY DROPS MY CALLS ALL THE TIME. Ooooh, burn!
Hit the jump for the original commercial.
Jul 31 2009 A-Ha!: So That's The Other Half Of The Battle
This $20 t-shirt depicts what the other, more mysterious half of a G.I. Joe battle is. Now I would have guessed it's a pork chop sandwich/body massage combo, but what do I know? Besides, oh I dunno, EVERYTHING AND THEN SOME. Numbers? I KNOW MY NUMBERS. You + me + ice cream = <3
Thanks to Julian and Rastapopolous, who sunshine day ya a time for de bus rida.
May 7 2009 IT'S A TRAP!: The Admiral Ackbar Outtakes
This is a video of the outtakes from Admiral Ackbar's iconic "It's a trap!" scene from Return of the Jedi. As you'll see, they tested several different dialogue options before settling on the one in the movie. Most of the others involved an exchange similar to the following:
"Admiral, something hit me."
"IT'S A SLAP."
Pfft, I've already come up with like a million of these. Including, and virtually limited to, "Admiral, what's that smear?"
Thanks to Nick, who used to bullseye womprats on Tatooine.
Apr 9 2009 Two Chicks In A Bar Having A Lightsaber Fight
NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW DUE TO UNDERWEAR.
This is a fake commercial for men's body spray that features two chicks having a lightsaber battle over some tainty dude that smells good. SPOILER: they cut each other's clothes off, making it the best commercial for a fake product EVER. I just ordered like a million cases. Or, I dunno, left my credit card number as a Youtube comment.
Thanks to Dustin, Dallas and CJ, who once saw two chicks have a lightsaber duel while Jello wresting. I know, I should write erotic fiction.
Mar 17 2009 Oh Grow Up: Flat Worms Fencing....Sexually
I know, I know, I should grow up. I just can't help myself. At least not when there's penis fencing involved. Superficial Writer, en garde!
Thanks to LeftRIGHTleft, a college champion in Tit Kwon Do.
Jan 27 2009 Google Street View Catches Epic Battle
Fess up, which two of you is this?
Google Maps
Thanks to jonah, Wesche and dave, who all swear it isn't them.
Dec 26 2008 Macs Vs. PCs: Transform And Battle It Out!
This is a video of Macs and PCs transforming into little robot people and battling to the death. Who wins? You'll have to watch to find out! Read: I stopped watching halfway through to go scavenge for food. Well sandwiches don't make themselves! *ahem* Ladies, that was a hint. Crunchy PB, boysenberry jelly -- cut into triangles.
Thanks to *nix and Bustani, who can both transform from video gamer to sex machine in the time it takes to push pause.
Dec 23 2008 60,000 Piece LEGO Hoth Battle Diorama
Sorry for the unusual lack of postage in the past few days, folks. I've been traveling my ass off (read: cover up for male enhancement surgery) and had to post via message in a bottle. But I'm back and ready to Geek the ologie. Look out! Anyway, Mark Borlase went and built himself a wicked Hoth battle diorama out of 60,000 LEGO blocks. Sure most of those are contained in the massive cave, but still, damn.
As the headline says, the 5′X10′ diorama is comprised of 60,000 Lego bricks. It cost creator Mark Borlase about $3,000 and four years of construction time to complete.
There's also the 50 LED lights that illuminate the Echo Base hangar and bacta tank with a soothing blue. Motorized AT-AT wenches and a fully operational hanger door top off this gorgeous pile of eye candy.
Four years of construction! The freaking Egyptian pyramids were built in less time (note to self: verify this). Seriously though, Mark, great freaking job. Mind if I come over and PEW PEW with the diorama a bit? Oh come on, I'll bring cookies. Laced cookies. Haha -- you got me, they're just doilies.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a link to the massive Flickr gallery.
Oct 21 2008 Literal Translation Of A Freestyle Rap Battle
Well we've seen a couple literally translated music videos in recent history, and now comes a rap battle, carefully translated by a well-spoken honkey. I love the part about having sexual relations with the other guy's biological mother (around 2:00) -- rappers really do that shit, it's true. And then, at the end of the video, they actually start fighting because the one dude is all up on his tippytoes trying to kiss the other one. I didn't get that part.
Hit the jump to see the very NSFW (due to language) original video.
Continue Reading " Literal Translation Of A Freestyle Rap Battle "
Sep 18 2008 About Time: Company Aims To Fight Robots
Weapons Against Robots (WAR) is a company started by internet millionaire Ben Way (not to be confused with ballmaker Ben Wa) as a means to defend humanity against the inevitable robot uprising. The company will "combat the potential threats posed by artificial intelligence through the creation of anti-robot weaponry, detection and monitoring of robots, and use of anti-robot viruses. Way believes that, as AI is increasingly used in warfare and defense, it is prudent to ready countermeasures in the event, not only of an enemy's use of robotics, but that an intelligence's programming goes awry."
Sounds good to me. Maybe WAR and FUBOTS should join forces. What do you say, Ben? I hate those evil mothers with a passion. Even more so since I lost my girlfriend to a vibrator.
Defense Firm Prepares to Terminate the Terminators [io9]
Thanks Brad, I may actually get some sleep tonight. But my anti-robot bat is still staying under the pillow.
Aug 22 2008 Microsoft Recruits Gates, Seinfeld To Help Combat Apple's Current "Get A Mac" Ads
Apple keeps putting out those "Get a Mac" ads and Microsoft has finally decided it's not going to take them lying down with its ass in the air. So what's the company doing? Starting an ad campaign with "key celebrity pitchman" Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, and Bill Gates.
The campaign is said to be based on the idea of "Windows, Not Walls," stressing the need to "break down barriers that prevent people and ideas from connecting." Something we think open-sourcers might have a laugh at. Anywho, the immediate goal of the campaign is to reverse the negative public perception of Vista and thus incorporates elements of the Mojave Experiment. While we have doubts about the latter, the combination of Seinfeld's pithy observations with a bit of that Bill Gates, self deprecating humor seen in "Bill's Last Day" could be a winning combination.
The campaign, which kicks off September 4th, will cost Microsoft over $300 million, which, if I've done my nautical math correctly, is a lot of freaking clams. More than I could eat in one sitting anyway. If Microsoft gave me a hundredth of that money I could run Apple into the ground single keyboardedly. I'M THE GEEKOLOGIE WRITER DAMNIT, WHEN I TYPE, PEOPLE READ! Isn't that...Jesus, you're not even paying attention are you?
Microsoft enlists Seinfeld, Gates to battle "Get a Mac" ads [engadget]
Thanks Sam, you wanna be part of my smear campaign?
Jul 28 2008 Wait, What?: 25 Gesture Rock-Paper-Scissors
PRS 25 is rock-paper-scissors with 25 different gestures, also known as rock, paper, scissors, gun, dynamite, nuke, devil, laser, alien, moon, snake, sponge, cardboard, spoon, candle, dragon, geekologie writer, bowl, water, magic, dagger, tank, air, something, nachos, leopard, something, etc.. If 25 gestures is too many for you, there is also standard rock-paper-scissors and 5, 7, 9, 11, and 15 gesture varieties (and a mind-boggling 101-gesture version HERE). I like some of the explanations for why one particular sign beats another. Like, "Rock crushes woman", "Monkey flings poop at woman", and "Woman has sex with dragon". Okay, I made that last one up, but I did see it in a movie once. And that movie, my friends, was Harry Potter.
RPS-25 [newgrounds]
Thanks SomeGeek, you beat me again.
Jun 20 2008 Video: Epic NERF Battle In Cubeville
I said give me a damn minute, I'm trying to post here.
This is a video made by what is probably the least productive company on the planet. It's a 5:00 epic NERF battle complete with horrible over-acting and, sadly, no nudity. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a scene from the offices here at Anticlown. We don't do NERF guns -- we use real thing. But The Superficial Writer still makes little pew pew noises when he fires and, more often than not, shoots himself.
Okay, now we can go to the hospital. But we're taking your car or the bus -- that's a lot of blood and I just got my shit detailed.
The Great Office War [ohgizmo]
Feb 6 2008 Oh Yeah!: Customize Your Own Lightsaber
As this guy, or anybody over at the NY Jedi Academy will tell you, a true Jedi needs their own custom lightsaber. And swinging around a spraypainted fluorescent bulb just doesn't cut it (as much as I want it to). Enter the Force FX Lightsaber Construction Set. As you can see it comes with a variety of different parts so you can mix-and-match your own custom blade. You even get to choose the color of the light, thanks to the tri-color LEDs. It plays authentic sound effects from the movie and you can score one at Amazon for $100. But be careful, because the print there in the lower right corner specifically states "product specifications & colors subject to change". So if you open the box and find your lightsaber has been replaced with a karaoke machine, don't say I didn't warn you.
build your own lightsaber [technabob]
Nov 21 2007 Ninja Vs. Pirate: The Battle Rages On
Who's the supreme killer, ninja or pirate? Now you can help settle the debate yourself thanks to these inflatable radio controlled characters from ThinkGeek. They cost $35 for the set and each runs off one 9V battery for the controller, and four AAs for the actual character. Make sure to use these batteries for an unfair advantage. The object is to ram the enemy over, "killing" them. There's a video after the jump which shows a dog attacking them. ZOMG -- Dog vs. Ninja vs. Pirate, I smell a reality series!
Video after the battle.
Nov 14 2007 Take Control Of Your Man/Woman Remotes
The Take Control Remotes are talking remotes that let the man/woman in your life know exactly what they need to be doing. The Control Your Man Remote features 18 different phrases like "Time to listen!", "What about my needs?", "What were you thinking?", and "Just tell me you love me!". The Control Your Woman says stuff like "Zip it!", "All right, hand over the credit cards!", "Yeah baby, do that again!", "Feed me!", and "I'm outta here!". They run on 2 AAs and cost $18 for one, or $30 for both. I bought the Control Your Woman one, and I think some of the buttons are broken. Like all of them except increase spending, decrease cleaning, and decrease sex. The mute button sure as hell doesn't work.
Control Your Man, Woman Talking Remotes For High Tech Verbal Abuse [nerdapproved]
Sep 5 2007 Pirate Vs. Ninja Batteries
Think Geek has come out with both pirate and ninja batteries, because, well, when it comes to powering electronics, sometimes a stupid bunny just doesn't cut it. They only come in AA size and cost $2.99 for 4, which is a ripoff. It's not like very many of my electronics have see through battery covers so everyone will know my affiliation. "Hey man take the battery cover off the remote and check out what's inside." "Dude, are these freaking ninja batteries? You know pirates would totally kill the hell out of some ninjas." "Nu-uh man, ninjas rule." "Ninjas suck, and I got with your girlfriend last night and we did a little plundering while you were busy playing Shinobi."
Pirate Vs. Ninja Batteries [gizmodo]
