Mar 26 2009 Who Will Win?: Bruce Lee Vs. Iron Man

This is a short stop-motion video of Bruce Lee and Iron Man duking it out. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, but I will say there are hobbits involved. Intrigued? Choose your own adventure! If you decide to watch the movie, turn to page 68, if you decide not to watch, turn to page 89.

Page 68: You die.

Page 89: You die and an animal eats your corpse. Actually, it was a dinosaur. You provide just enough nourishment to the beast for a steamy romp in the mud with yours truly. I love it. Your life was not in vain!

Iron Man vs Bruce Lee: FIGHT! [gizmodo]

And a very Happy Birthday to Holly, who once punched Iron Man in his little glow-y thing and then called his mother a robot-lover.

Feb 19 2009 This Has Gotten Way Out Of Hand: Army Robots Will Require A 'Warrior Code'

How many times do I have to emphasize that I am not kidding about a robot apocalypse? Did the Terminator series teach us nothing besides Arnold Schwarzenegger should run for governor? Now, in a recent report by the US Navy, it has been suggested that robots participating in battle be programmed with a 'Warrior Code' to help prevent destruction of the entire human potato-sack race.

"There is a common misconception that robots will do only what we have programmed them to do," Patrick Lin, the chief compiler of the report, said. "Unfortunately, such a belief is sorely outdated, harking back to a time when . . . programs could be written and understood by a single person." The reality, Dr Lin said, was that modern programs included millions of lines of code and were written by teams of programmers, none of whom knew the entire program.

It's been suggested we use Isaac Asimov's Three Rules Of Robotics as a starting point for the 'Warrior Code'. Isaac's Rules were as follows:

1 A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm

2 A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law

3 A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law

Being the Geekologie Writer, I got a sneak peak at the Warrior Code in progress, and I've got to say, not good:

1 There is no warrior code

2 PEW PEW

3 PEW PEW

Military's killer robots must learn warrior code [timesonline]
and
Experts Warn of 'Terminator'-Style Military-Robot Rebellion [foxsnews]

Thanks to Bryan, Chris, timgrab, T6000 (what are you doing here!?), Matt, Sprite and Thumperchica, who are all smart enough to know this is life or death, but not smart enough to know I just stole their identities. Hello, credit cards!

Jan 27 2009 Google Street View Catches Epic Battle

Fess up, which two of you is this?

Google Maps

Thanks to jonah, Wesche and dave, who all swear it isn't them.

Jan 14 2009 Australian Fixes Plasma TV With Baseball Bat

NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW, DUE TO LANGUAGE.

This video is so full of win I don't even know where to start. But I'll try. First of all, beating the shit out of a TV with a baseball bat is just awesome. Also, humping it against the wall is cool too. And to make matters even more rad, there's a pair of chicks with Australian accents arguing in the background the whole time. Which, combined with the beating of the television, really turned me on. And let me tell you: the guy they're arguing about, Simon (who the one emphatically claims she doesn't give a shit about), must be pretty freaking special for them to ignore the epic repair going down in the next room.

How To Repair Your Plasma TV With a Baseball Bat (NSFW) [gizmodo]

Thanks to Nathan, who once fixed his DVD player with a hockey stick but had to spend two minutes in the penalty box for high-sticking.

Dec 26 2008 Macs Vs. PCs: Transform And Battle It Out!

This is a video of Macs and PCs transforming into little robot people and battling to the death. Who wins? You'll have to watch to find out! Read: I stopped watching halfway through to go scavenge for food. Well sandwiches don't make themselves! *ahem* Ladies, that was a hint. Crunchy PB, boysenberry jelly -- cut into triangles.

Youtube

Thanks to *nix and Bustani, who can both transform from video gamer to sex machine in the time it takes to push pause.

Dec 1 2008 Man Teaches Robot To Play Pong, Robot Taunts Man, Man Foolishly Doesn't Kill Robot

Some fool went and taught a robot how to play Pong. Next thing you know, the crazy bastard will teach the archangel of the apocalypse how to play Donkey Kong, and from there, well, I think you can imagine what happens next. Hint: we all die. I must admit though, I did almost chuckle before pissing my pants when the robot taunted the guy. He says, "No, no, no, and no. You are a loser." Man, if I had a quarter for every time a girl's told me that, well, I could play pinball for decades.

Youtube

Thanks to Marc and Pedro, who could both school that robot at Pong then kick its head off and say something insulting about its mother (who I heard had sex with a Speak & Spell -- BURN!)