Oct 1 2009 Luke, Let's Hit The Sauna: Jedi Bathrobes
I don't really wear robes because I got kicked out of wizard school and I'm more of a boxer and undershirt kind of guy, but I might make an exception for this $95 Jedi joint. Just kidding. Still, it would look good on you though.
Star Wars fans rejoice! The Jedi Dressing Gowns are here! What could be better on an evening than strutting around in your Jedi robe, making sure your little Lightsaber doesn't inadvertently pop out due to your lack of jimmy-jams? The Jedi Dressing Gown is made of soft 100% cotton velour and has a Jedi logo embroidered on the front. The bath robe's large hood, sash belt and wide sleeves are classic features of a Jedi robe. Will you be seduced by the dark side (your smelly old bathrobe with cat hair all over the back) or will you fight for justice...or at least the last Jaffa Cake...in a brand new Jedi Dressing Gown?
Wow. I'm not sure if that's how you sell Jedi robes or not, but I'm guessing not. As a matter of fact, that product description has convinced me to go out and buy the exact opposite of a Jedi bathrobe. Which I don't actually know what is. Maybe a Sith bra or something.
Product Site
via
jedi bath robe: obi-wants one [technabob]
Thanks to Smee, who, no stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don't make a move Smee, not a step. My finger's on the trigger. Don't try to stop me, Smee. This is it. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee.
Sep 14 2009
Starry Nights Baths: Nirvana LED Bathtub
I haven't taken a bath since I was too short to see over the side of the tub, so I don't need a fancy bath fixture. But maybe you do. I heard women take a lot of baths because it makes shaving easier. Speaking of which, what do women shave anyways? I suspect it's their chests!
The Nirvana Bathtub is basically an normal tub that's been outfitted with 360 LED lights on the surface. Touch controls allow you to adjust the lights as well as the water, and a hand shower is motion activated.
Pfft, screw a LED tub -- I'm holding out for a laser bath! I'm gonna get all prune-y and blind at the same time. Just sayin', vision is for the weak and I can benchpress the bar plus 45lbs on each side!
Nirvana bathtub combines a bathtub and a planetarium [dvice]
Jun 22 2009 Girl Electrocutes Herself Tweeting In Bathtub
Following in the trend of tweeting from the bathroom, a 17-year old Romanian girl died while apparently trying to Twitter from the tub (this new loofah feels great!).
The Austrian times says that Maria Barbu was, in fact, in the tub while using Twitter when she likely reached to plug in her charger with a wet hand, electrocuting herself in the process.
As much fun as I do want to make of Maria, you really can't blame her. Women understanding electricity? BWHAHAH AHAH HA HA! God, I needed that.
Girl Dies by Electrocution While Twitting in Bathtub, Apocalypse Draws Nearer [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who once showered with a toaster but the bread got all soggy.
Apr 27 2009 I Want Out: Electrocuting Rubber Duckie
Looking for a way out but second guessing your decision to dive into a volcano? Enter the Electric Bath Duck, a suicide assistance device that allegedly works better than a toaster. Thankfully, it's fake. But listen -- I don't want any of you killing yourselves anyways, you hear me? Because then who would read the words I write? Nobody, that's who. My family doesn't even read my diary anymore and I leave it open on the coffee table. So if you are having suicidal thoughts, seek help. And remember folks, I'm here for you. God may have spited me downstairs, but I do have big ears.
Hit the jump for a shot of the back.
Continue Reading " I Want Out: Electrocuting Rubber Duckie "
Mar 4 2009 Fully Automated, Computer Controlled Shower Will Kill You While You Bathe, I'm Sure Of It
The Aquapeutics (now to be known as AquaPEWtics) luxury steam shower has everything a person could want, plus a whole bunch of other crap, and a $4,300 pricetag.
This spaceship-worthy shower is loaded up with two handheld showers, a waterproof LCD TV, a radio, massage jets, a steam box, overhead lights, an alarm, and other crazy crap. The whirlpool and steamshower are computerized, letting you set your program to run when you get in, and it's all very fancy.
I WANT IT! I heard it even washes your balls and polishes them to a shine. Which, I think we can all agree, while painful, would be well worth the shellacking. QUICK -- LOOKIE HERE! Haha, blinded you.
Aquapeutics shower is just a little bit over the top [dvice]
Feb 18 2009 Smell Gamey? You Need Playstation Soap
So check it: you smell like ass. I'm serious, you're reeking up the interwebz. You need to get yourself some $5 Playstation controller soap from Etsy seller Digitalsoaps. Looking for something a little old schooler? No problem, they sell $8 NES controller bars as well, in such exotic flavors as pink sugar, juicy watermelon, apple jack and peel, coconut lime verbena, dragon's blood, and unicorn's semen. On a side note, when I get ripe my pits smell like really onion-y chili-cheese dogs. Your musk is different. But I like your natural pheromones. I think I'm attracted to you. Kiss me. Did you feel any chemistry? I felt some. It felt like your boob. I copped a feel!
Hit the jump to see the NES controller soap.
Feb 9 2009 Make Calls In Private With The Isophone
The Isophone may like a giant waterbug banging your brain, but it's actually a device designed to provide uninterrupted peace and quiet while you're making phone calls.
The Isophone is essentially a telecommunications device providing a service that can be described simply as a meeting of the telephone and the floatation tank. The user wears a helmet that blocks out all peripheral sensory distraction whilst keeping the head above the surface of the water... a space is created for providing a pure, distraction free environment for making a telephone call.
I need one. Like yesterday. Ooh, and a pool. This bathtub just isn't cutting it anymore. *knocking* Damnit -- SHUT UP MOM I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE! What's that? Fish sticks for dinner? Hot damn, I'll be out in a sec!
Hit the jump for several more shots of this chick using the device.
Continue Reading " Make Calls In Private With The Isophone "
Jan 28 2009 It's Like Bathing In The Forest!: The Moss Mat
Moss is like nature's carpet that never has to be vacuumed. So why not bring a little of the outdoors in with a mossy bathmat?
Nguyen La Chanh's ingenious design is made from a decay-free foam called plastazote, and populated with three varieties of moss: ball, island, and forest. Maintenance required for this little patch of green is limited, as the moss thrives off of the humidity released from daily bathroom rituals.
I want one. I just question how much traffic the mat can stand. Granted, that wouldn't be a problem for me -- I only shower bi-weekly. It's called cologne, folks, and I'm saving the planet one less shower at a time.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.
Continue Reading " It's Like Bathing In The Forest!: The Moss Mat "
Jun 23 2008 Cool: Take A Bath Under The Stars Without Exposing Yourself To The Elderly Neighbors
The Homestar Spa by SEGA Toys turns your bathroom into a planetarium whenever you're taking a bath. You just fill up the tub, strip down to your birthday suit (or a towel if you're a prude like the chick in the photos), and hop on in. Then, with a flick of its switch, the $70 unit instantly fills your bathroom with hundreds of trillions of millions of "stars". Not feeling stars tonight? No problem, flip the unit over and hit the switch again to fill the bottom of your tub with a, uh, bloody mess.
Sega's Homestar Spa: Planetarium edition [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who calls the model in the photos despite her obvious prudishness.
Jun 5 2008 'Modern Toilet' Restaurant Sounds Awesome
As a man who frequently blogs and eats his lunch on the john, I know all about the benefits of canning your food (!). And now there's a restaurant in Taiwan that is cashing in on what I've known for years -- eating on the throne is the shit (!).
Patrons sit on toilets for seats and eat food off covered sinks and bathtubs. The food is served in a mini-toilet bowls and patrons drink out of mini travel potties. To finish the atmosphere, toilet paper is provided in the place of napkins.
"It's really unusual, so special that it doesn't gross me out," said Betty Tsai, 16, a Taipei high school sophomore trying Modern Toilet for the first time on a friend's recommendation.But for a few customers, the toilet humor is too much. "My son thought it was disgusting and didn't know if he could finish his food," said Taipei mother Lin Li-ju.
Wow, Lin Li-ju, it sounds like your son has a problem. Namely that he was born with a vagina and doesn't know how to appreciate the finer things in life. Seriously, if I had one of those oldschool TV-dinner stands I don't think I'd ever leave the bathroom. So yeah, I once saw a little kid at Home Depot urinate in one of the unplumbed toilets they had on display. I wonder if they have similar problems here. Well, my legs are going numb, time to get up.
Several more pictures and a video news report about the place, after the jump.
Continue Reading " 'Modern Toilet' Restaurant Sounds Awesome "
Apr 11 2008 Designer Foosball Table Looks Bathtubby
This is a foosball table created by GRO design and Tim modelmakers. It's called '11 - The Beautiful Game', because 11 is the number of players on each team (not including humans), and it's beautiful when you kick somebody's ass and they have to buy you a beer. The table is going to be exhibited during Milan Design Week from April 16th - 21st, so someone go check it out and try to break a player off for me. While I can certainly appreciate the thing's design, it would probably be annoying to play on. Especially with the chrome handles. That said, this table gives me an idea. The idea for a bathtub foosball table -- that you actually play in the bath! Oh man, I would never leave. I'd sit in there wailing away until the water was cold and I was all pruney. I mean toy boats are still fun and all, but I'm a big boy now. Well, not big enough to bathe unsupervised, but I'm getting there.
More pictures and a video (warning: the players suck) after the jump.
Continue Reading " Designer Foosball Table Looks Bathtubby "
Mar 28 2008 Aquarium Bathtub Is Sweet, Too Expensive
The Moody Acquario is a $14,500 bathtub that has an aquarium on the side. It looks like the tank and tub are separated by a little space, which is smart because I was wondering how the fish would be able to withstand the heat transfer from my boiling baths. I love aquariums so I'm all about it. Minus, of course, the $14,500 price tag. I'm pretty confident you could build yourself one of these though without too much trouble. Or you can do what any normal damn person would, and bathe in your damn fishtank. But be warned: Don't just go throwing yourself in there lest you find a ceramic pirate ship up your ass.
Moody Acquario: Bathing With The Fishes [gizmodo]
Feb 29 2008 Super Mario Bath Bombs Are Fizzy, Awesome
Super Mario Bath Bombs are effervescent balls of fun you drop into the tub whenever you're bathing. Once they hit the water they begin fizzing and foaming, "releasing a fragrant scent as they fill your bath water with yellow foam." Hrrm, no mention of what the scent is, and I'm not the biggest fan of yellow foam, but I can look past those things to get at the little Mario figurine hidden inside. And at only $6 a pop I'm going to collect them all! Man, these are way cooler than the bath bomb my little cousin had when I was bathing him. Yeah, it came out of his ass. It was gross and I left it in the tub for his mother to clean up.
Super Mario Brothers Bath Bombs [coolestgadgets]
Feb 13 2008 WTF!?: Pimped Out Powder Room Contest By Roto Rooter Is, Hell If I Know -- Awesome?
Unbeknownst to me, Roto-Rooter (the toilet unclogging company) gave away a pimped out man-bathroom last year. It had a beer tap and 42" flatscreen and all this other stuff that is mandatory for a room that you shower and shit in. Well, to keep up with the hip 20-something crowd they're doing it again, this time for the ladies. Drumroll please: The Pimp My Powder Room Contest by Roto-Rooter! You can enter everyday online at their website for a chance to win. It includes all the must haves for a bathroom like a coffee maker, laptop, iPod touch, Nintendo Wii, flatscreen/mirror combo, new shitter, foot bath, virtual window and more. OMG, this thing is totally mine. I came into this ready to make fun of it, but I actually need all these things in my bathroom. I'm even digging the pretty princess pink color scheme. Hey I'm just saying...oh my god I sprouted a vagina!
That being said, I've tried to play Wii from the john before, and it isn't easy. I was getting into a pretty intense tennis battle on Wii sports when a particularly strong backhand sent me reeling off the commode and onto the floor, where, yeah, #2.
Roto-Rooter's "Pimped out Powder Room" sports a Wii, needs a bigger TV [engadget]
Nov 30 2007 Sink + Bath Saves Space, Is Questionable
The Ladybird bath and vanity set is a sink and a bath. It's designed with closet-bathrooms in mind. When you just need a sink you have the top cover on and go about your business. When you need to take a bath (in a cramped fetal position), you remove your toothbrush, toothpaste, makeup, brush, soap, etc., etc. from the top and set it aside. Presto- a bath. Now I'm all about the space saving design and minimal water consumption associated with this thing, but I have one concern. Everything you wash down the sink is going to be waiting for you when you remove the top for a bath. Toothpaste, spit, nail polish remover, even urine. Now I don't take baths, I only shower, but I can't imagine who would like bathing in such nastiness. My girlfriend would flip the f out. Little does she know I always pee in the shower. But that's what she gets for letting herself go.
A petite Addition to Your Bath [yankodesign]
Nov 7 2007 Glass And Steel Whirlpool Tub Is Luxurious
The Whirlpool Glass Bathtub is a real treat. It's got sixteen jets, can accommodate two people, and is totally see-through. They run $3,199 and are worth every penny. I've had one since they first came out, and I'm 100% happy with the purchase. The only problem is my wife came into the bathroom one day during my bath-time. She asked if I was eating Cheetos in the tub. "Cheetos? Cheetos?!! Woman that's my penis, GET OUT OF HERE!"
Whirlpool Glass Bathtub, That's What I'm Talking About [uberreview]
Oct 26 2007 Bathmat Slippers Really Take Me Back
The Mat Walk Bathmat Slippers are the lovechild of a pair of slippers that were tired of banging dust bunnies under you bed and decided to slip it to a bathmat for a change. It's basically a bathmat with slippers sewn on top to keep your feet clean and warm. They cost $49 and will make you trip and fall, like trying to run with your pants around your ankles. Is that another man's leg in the back of the picture? Because it sure looks like one. Pretty meaty. Really takes me back to my college days, when me and the guys would all shower together and then maybe play some whip-ass with wet towels. Those were the days. Now I'm married to a woman and living a lie.
Oct 24 2007 Periodic Table Shower Curtain Is Awesome
I love chemistry as much as anyone else. I think my fascination started as a kid in science class, when I learned that all life on earth comes stems from chromium or whatever. Well now you can appreciate all those other awesome elements every time you shower with the Periodic Table Shower Curtain. They're available from firebox.com, but currently sold out. It's sweet, and it's semi-transparent. You know what that means don't you? That means when my girlfriend showers I can sit in the bathroom and admire my two favorite elements -- boobidium and vaginium.
Product Site [thanks to Hugo for the tip, a man overcoming adversity with a monster dong]
Oct 19 2007 Bath Time Is Fun With A Remote Rubber Duck
Oh man I can't wait to take a bath later this month -- Play.com is releasing a sweet remote-controlled rubber duck on the 28th. They go for about $26, and take 6 AA batteries (2 for the controller, 4 for the duck charger). Five minutes of charging yields 15 minutes of fun. Just be careful that little propeller doesn't nick your submarine. Both controller and duck are waterproof. This thing really makes me wish I was growing up today instead of the 80's. My parents didn't give me anything fun to do in the bath. The only toy I ever got to play with in the tub was a turd, and I had to make that shit myself.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Remote-Control Rubber Duck [neatorama]
Oct 12 2007 Windshield Wiper Mirror, So You Can Shave
I hate getting out of the shower and ready to shave only to realize I can't see a damn thing in the bathroom mirror. If I leave the bathroom door open while I shower it helps, but then I get a cold breeze in there that makes my penis shrivel up inside me. And wiping the mirror with a towel just doesn't cut it. Enter the Bathroom Mirror Wiper. It's a windshield wiper for your bathroom mirror. I'm pretty sure you have to move it manually, which sucks. I don't like looking at myself in the mirror anyways. I'm ugly folks. Almost as ugly as my girlfriend. I'm way out of her league.
