Nov 16 2009 Glowing Booze!: Electroluminescent Bottles
Apparently battery-powered illuminated liquor bottles are becoming all the rage. They're supposed to grab your attention when you're trying to decide what to order at the bar. Yeah, TOO BAD I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT (one of everything -- and keep the cherries coming).
Ballantine's new "Listen to Your Beat" campaign includes an electroluminescent label with graphic equalizer display. Designed by London-based "The Core," this label is more evidence of a trend towards animated, self-illuminating liquor labels. Similar to these battery-powered T-shirts, audio references seem to occur frequently in youth-oriented liquor packaging. (The J&B bottle above is another example.)
You know if you really want to sell liquor you don't need ridiculous gimmicks like light-up bottles. No, what you need is me. I could sell firewater to a teetotaler AND get him to drink it. CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! Aaaaaand you're vomiting on my shoes. Now wipe your mouth, we're doing it again.
Hit the jump for several videos of light-up bottles in action.
Continue Reading " Glowing Booze!: Electroluminescent Bottles "
Nov 11 2009 That....Sounds Dangerous -- I Must Try It!
This is a 9-second video of an evil mad scientist pouring liquid nitrogen in his mouth and blowing out vapor. Why? Because he's mad, yo! Even worse than that tea-loving mother with the big hat.
Though it may look like this scientist is actually drinking the liquid nitrogen, he says that with a bit of practice, "it is easy not to swallow liquid nitrogen and make cool condensed vapor come out of the nostrils."
I would have drank it. I would have drank it and asked for another one. Bartender, another cold one. No, another REAAALLY cold one. You catch my drift? I'm talking about liquid nitrogen. And I want two of those little umbrellas and a plastic cutlass with cherries AND YOU BETTER NOT CHARGE ME FOR THEM. Now, get ready to call the paramedics.
How Scientists Chill Out [techeblog]
Thanks to naas, who once drank liquid gasoline trying to siphon my gas tank. That's what you get!
May 19 2009 *PEW PEW* GLUG GLUG: The Beer Gun
As a man-child who's no stranger to chugging beers and puking on himself and then losing a shoe and cell phone only to find them both in the kitchen trash the next morning, I love beer. Like, love it, love it. But only bottles, not cans (cut me once, shame on you, cut me twice SHAME ON YOU AGAIN, YOU ARE A TERRIBLE LOVER!). Also, I really like guns because the very heart of George 'Sawed-Off' Washington beats inside my chest. So anyway, this 22 Machine Gun Glass stands 18-inches tall and is by far the coolest thing to drink out of besides boobies. *ahem* Ladies -- I'm a little parched over here. What? I WANT STRONG BONES!
Submachine gun beer bong, a weapon for those who must be forced to guzzle [coonessroundup]
Jan 12 2009 Luke, I Am Your Mobile Drink Cart: BaR2D2
BaR2D2 is a mobile robot bartender complete with everything you need to get crunknasty and puke on yourself and everyone around you.
BaR2D2 is a radio-controlled, mobile bar that features a motorized beer elevator, motorized ice/mixer drawer, six-bottle shot dispenser, and sound activated neon lighting. The robot is driveable so you can take the party on the road! It was created in my garage using standard hand/power tools and readily available parts and materials.
Now I know he's a robot, and that I should be scared, but Goddammit, he serves booze -- AND plays the Zelda theme (around 1:00). So yeah, I'm having a hard time hating him. And also, tying my shoes. Laces can be so tricky sometimes.
Build A Mobile Bar - BaR2D2 [instructables]
Thanks to Manwai, who doesn't need a robotic bartender because the dude pisses moonshine. And also, to Jamie, who actually made the thing -- NOW MAKE ME ONE PLEAAAASEEE!
Nov 21 2008 Soda Dispenser Dispenses From The Bottom
This piece of crap from Scotsman Beverage Systems dispenses ice from the top, and soda from the bottom. ZOMG, sorcery! It's supposed to revolutionize the beverage serving industry but it's not going to. What it is going to revolutionize is landfills. The system works thanks to special glasses with a non-return valve in the bottom that are set on top of a special filling unit. Now why is this necessary? Oh right, so Scotsman can charge $6 apiece for the glasses. Can somebody say "shenanigans"? Nice. Now say "Don't worry, I'll pick". Great -- finish it off with an "up the tab". Bartender, you heard the man, keep the bourbon flowing.
Magic system fills glasses from the bottom up somehow [dvice]
Oct 29 2008 Thanks But No Thanks: A Beer Pouring Robot
TMCO is a metal products manufacturer in Lincoln, Nebraska, that, for a recent open house, programmed one of their factory robots to act as bartender. Although, truthfully, he doesn't actually pour your drinks for you, he just operates the tap and demands tips. Seriously, I have to hold my own glass up there, and then you expect a tip? I did just as much work as you did! You, robot beer-pourer, are a greedy asshole. Quick, somebody pull his plug, I'll grab the tip jar!
Beer-Pouring Robot [neatorama]
Thanks to Michael, who knows I'll post any tip that has "beer" and "robot" in the title.
Sep 23 2008 Oak Bar Hides Sweet Video Game Setup
Let's face it, drinking and video games go together like drinking and firearms -- a match made in heaven. So why not build yourself a video game bar? This oak bar hides four joysticks in a fold down panel in the front (picture after jump), which are connected to a PC and the flatpanel on the wall. Not a bad setup, but I'm sticking to my shooting gallery. POW POW POW POW meow POW. Oh shit.
Hit the jump for two more pictures.
Aug 18 2008 Geez, You Could Have Just Asked Me: Scientists Confirm Beer Goggles Are Real
In an announcement that shouldn't surprise anyone that's seen the majority of women I've slept with, scientists have concluded that beer goggles are, in fact, real.
Surprisingly, the beer goggles effect was not limited to just the opposite sex among the ostensibly straight volunteers recruited for the study -- they also rated people from their own sex as more attractive.
Beer is making me gay.
"The main question is whether these effects are specific to faces, or whether we would rate anything as more attractive after a drink," Munafo said.Future research could expose people who have been drinking to landscapes or the faces of puppies and other animals, "to see if alcohol has a more general effect on perceiving beauty in the environment."
I don't like where this is going. I am NOT having sex with animals. Or a damn landscape. Well, unless it's the sun setting over a mountain range. I'd ravage that shit.
Jun 6 2008 Sobrietol Reduces Level Of Blood Alcohol, Fun
Sobrietol is some mystery formula of cancer-causing agents that reduces your blood alcohol content after a heavy night of drinking. And let me tell you -- as someone who thought yesterday was Friday and went out and got shit-hammered -- I lost my shoes.
Have you ever had one too many drinks at a party, wine-tasting, or night out with the girls? Unfortunately, for all too many of us, we know what that means for the next morning -- we wake up a little lethargic. Maybe a tummy that's queasy, maybe a throbbing head, maybe a dude you thought was a chick in bed next to you.
Sobrietol® was found to decrease the level of blood alcohol by 56% in independent tests as measured by Oregon State Troopers. The next day will be like you didn't drink at all!
First of all, there's no such thing as "one too many drinks", there are only too few. And secondly, a box of 8 packets costs $40 -- that's like 8 good liquor drinks! And trust me, nothing cures a hangover like drinking the next morning. So thanks but no thanks Sobrietol, the only product I need to help remove alcohol is free -- my penis.
Check out the link to the website right under these words to hear an auto-playing sales pitch for the product that's filled with lies.
Thanks Allyson, lets down like twenty packets each and then go out drinking. Everyone will think we're superheros.
Apr 18 2008 Chill Stick Looks Like Cue Case, Holds Beer
The Chill Stick ($12) is a neoprene sleeve that keeps six beers cold and looks like the case for a pool cue. That way you can sneak beer into places that have pool tables. Namely bars. Screw paying $2.25 a beer when you can bring your own. Am I right? I am. Same principal goes for outside food and drink at the movie theater. They tell you not to do it, but everybody does. But does everybody throw moistened Jujubes at the screen to see if they'll stick? No, because that's a waste of good candy. So yeah, the Chill Stick. Not sure if the floating arm comes with it or you have to buy that separately, but $12 for both would be a steal.
Chill Stick Disguises A Six Pack [ohgizmo]
Oct 9 2007 Credit Card Reminder For Heavy Drinkers
The Doberman Credit Card Reminder is a device that reminds you to get your credit card back from the bartender at the end of the night. You push one of the buttons, which starts an alarm for 1-4 hours, and when the time is up it beeps and flashes it's LED. This amazing technology costs $8. I gave it a go one night and it didn't get my card back. I was so drunk I thought it's blinking and beeping meant it was time to try making out with the bartender. She broke my nose and kicked me out. She's so hot.
Doberman Security Credit Card Reminder [ohgizmo]
Aug 14 2007 Robot Bartender
If you don't like talking to anyone when getting drunk, then check out the Digital Beverages MyFountain (which we will now refer to as the Robot Bartender). It basically looks like a monster piece of crap that sits on a counter with a touchscreen that makes drinks. It holds 12 bottles of liquid happiness and can be programmed to make any drink with said bottles. The only real benefit I see in this thing is it not knowing when to cut you off. Oh, and don't tell me that damn thing squeezed those pieces of fruit out its pipe. How did those get there, Mr. Bartender Robot?
Robot Bartender [OhGizmo]
