Oct 6 2009 Dino-Rider: Geekologie Writer Vs. The Volcano
Jesse Starr, to thank me for showcasing his incredible Christopher Walken ballpoint pen portrait, took my shoutout at the end of the post, which read, "Thanks Jesse, now how about one of me riding a dinosaur battling a volcano?", and made the dream a reality. This is only a part of the piece, click HERE to see it in all its high-res glory. OH HELL YES! TAKE THAT, VOLCANO. Joe ain't got shit on me!
As an added bonus, Jesse made a video of how he created the piece, which you can see after the jump. But, SPOILER ALERT: there's a picture of my ugly mug involved, so shy away.
Hit it for the video.
Continue Reading " Dino-Rider: Geekologie Writer Vs. The Volcano "
Aug 14 2009 Real Life Duck Hunt Is Not THAT Real Life
This Duck Hunt game from Hammacher Schlemmer costs $30 and involves shooting a mechanical flying duck with an infrared gun. Plus, if your gun runs out of batteries you can still throw rocks at it. Just like our ancestors used to do!
A 10-second charge on the barrel of the gun energizes the mechanical duck for a 30-second flight. The duck's 6" long mylar wings flap up and down nearly 500 times per minute, and it can be set to fly in an erratic left- or right-turning circle or a level, straight line. Sharp-eyed hunters take aim with the infrared gun--the first two hits merely stun the waterfowl, momentarily interrupting his flapping; the third hit downs the duck for good.
I like how it takes three shots to bring it down, that's pretty neat. Not as neat as my cocktail, but that's only because I DON'T DO ICE, HOMEY.
Product Page
via
Learn to Aim With Flying Duck Hunt Shooting Game [walyou]
Mar 20 2009 Underwater Volcano: Ka-Boom Shacka Lacka!
That's right folks, an underwater volcano off the coast of Tonga (near Fiji) has been erupting recently, causing all kinds of mean-nasty things to happen. Just kidding. There has been some smoke and ash though.
Scientists sailed Thursday to inspect an undersea volcano that has been erupting for days near Tonga -- shooting smoke, steam and ash thousands of feet into the sky above the South Pacific ocean.Authorities said Thursday the eruption does not pose any danger to islanders at this stage, and there have been no reports of fish or other animals being affected.
Really, no reports of fish or animals being affected? I find that a little hard to believe. Come on now folks, I'm not five anymore, I can take some deceased fishes. Seriously, you don't have secretly replace my dead hamster with one that looks like him. Wait, you did what? NOOOOOOO -- NOT MR. CHEEKEYS! WAAAAAAAAA, I JUST WANT TO DIE!
Hit the jump for a worthwhile VIDEO of the action.
Continue Reading " Underwater Volcano: Ka-Boom Shacka Lacka! "
Mar 8 2009 Wow: Over 64,000 Years Of Halo 3 Played
That's right folks, if you add up all the individual hours people have played Halo 3, it comes out to over 64,000 years.
The billionth game of Halo 3 was played last Saturday. Bungie then calculated the play time of every online match - not counting custom maps - and it reaches 2,023,153,340,764 seconds, which equals out to roughly 64,000 years.
To further drive home the point of how huge of a number that is, they mentioned that 64,000 years ago neanderthal walked the Earth and modern man hadn't yet set foot in Asia.
Some guy in the comments went on to speculate that a low-ball estimate of World of Warcraft gameplay was up around 750,000 years. Either way, I'm crying. And not because we haven't cured cancer either it's just that *sniff* I'm so damn proud of you guys.
Halo 3 reaches one billion matches and 64,000 years of play time [omghalo]
Thanks to Mark, who contributed not one but 10,000 of those years.
Feb 26 2009 Shot-Gun Brings New Meaning To The Word
The Shot-Gun is by far the most delicious way to get shot. Because, instead of lead, it fills you with booze! And booze, my friends, makes the world go around. Or at least the room. Whee, I'm on a carousel!
Armed with the Alcohol Shot Gun, you can re-enact the most memorable movie scenes from "Dirty Harry" to "Matrix". "Do you feel lucky, sucker" is the only question? Pour in an ounce of your favorite drink into the cartridge, cock the trigger, point and shoot.
Call me crazy, but I want one. PEW! I feel better already. PEW! Mmmm, so warm in my belly. PEW PEW! I think that gfirl is lwooking at me. PEW PEW! i called her ugly a whorew . PEW PE? WHO ASE YOU CLALING DRUNK! Oh, ohs no -- PEW PEWK! PEEEEEWWWWWWK! ack, IthInk i popped A BLOODVESSEL in my eye. ugh. PEW! Oh yeah, that's the stuff.
Alcohol Shot Gun [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Derrick, who accidentally shot himself in the eye and now it burns.
Feb 26 2009 I Knew It!: Violent Video Games Helps Prepare Children For The Coming Apocalypse
This is an Onion News roundtable discussion on the benefit of children playing violent video games. And as I suspected, violent games do, in fact, prepare the world's youth for the coming apocalypse.
Playing video games all day, alone and friendless, is simply the best way we have to prepare our children for a life of solitude in a barren wasteland.
Finally, somebody speaking some sense. So fret not, parents, buying your children violent video games might just provide them with the know-how they need to survive in the the future. Or, I dunno, bring a gun to school. Either one.
Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse? [theonion]
Thanks to Mister Tiddles, who I think might be a cat.
Feb 20 2009 Woman's Weave Proves Tighter Than A Speeding Bullet, Saves Life From PEW
A woman's tightly woven hair weave allegedly saved her life from a gunshot fired by her ex-boyfriend.
The 20-year-old Kansas City woman told police Juan Kemp, her ex-boyfriend, opened fire on her while she was inside her car at a Kansas City convenience store Wednesday night.
Bonds' back window and tail light were shot out, but it is what police found in her weave that is amazing. Detectives pulled a spent bullet from the back of Bonds' head. It had become lodged in her weave.(Hairdresser Kim) Walton said while the weft is the strongest part of the weave and would be the most difficult to penetrate, she finds it hard to believe a weave could stop a bullet.
Captain Brokenheart of the USS Fails At Life and his friend were later arrested. Now, physicists out there: is this even possible? I feel like it had to be a ricochet or something. There's just no way. But, if there is a way, this guy needs a weave!
Woman's hair weave stops bullet [woai]
and
News Video [yahoonews]
Thanks to Julian, who once caught a speeding bullet in his teeth but lost a filling.
Feb 4 2009 Scientists Invent Longer-Term Sleeping Pill
I don't get it, I put one in my nightcap before bed and I barely slept a wink. Then, just a few minutes ago, I blew a hole in the urinal during a routine bathroom break. WTF?!
sleep forever pill [szymon]
Thanks to Romeo, who one slept 24-hours straight. God, I want to do that.
Jan 30 2009 Really, Really Bad Idea: An MP3 Grenade
Folks, I've had a lot of really bad ideas in my life. And followed through with most of them. But that's neither here nor there, because one thing I never did was mod an inactive grenade into an MP3 player. Inside, modder Matt stuffed a 2GB Sansa Clip MP3 player. Hey Matt, you ever hear the story about that one guy that suspected that other guy of being a terrorist and called Homeland Security on him? Yeah, what's your address?
Hit the jump for another view of the guts.
Continue Reading " Really, Really Bad Idea: An MP3 Grenade "
Jan 27 2009 Google Street View Catches Epic Battle
Fess up, which two of you is this?
Google Maps
Thanks to jonah, Wesche and dave, who all swear it isn't them.
Dec 23 2008 Yes Please!: Real Life Thor Hammers
Definitely watch this to the very end. It's a bunch of kids running around with real-life Thor hammers. I have no idea if this is some kind of religious celebration or what, but if it is, I'm converting. My sex -- I want a vagina.
Thanks to Yo poleo, who once made an explosive chainsaw and lived to tell about it.
Dec 9 2008 Pentagon PEWing For Guided Bullet Tech
The Pentagon is tossing $22 million at developing guided bullet technology that would enable a bullet to change course midflight because it wasn't shot right first in the first place, the wind changed, or the head you were aiming at moved. *closing blinds* Greeeaaaaat.
Darpa won't say, publicly, how far, how long and how accurate they want the new bullets to be -- all that information is classified. But they will say that Exacto should contain a next-gen scope, a guidance system that provides information to direct the projectile, an "actively controlled .50-caliber projectile that uses this information for real-time directional flight control," and a rifle. "Technologies of interest may include: fin-stabilized projectiles, spin-stabilized projectiles, internal and/or external aero-actuation control methods, projectile guidance technologies, tamper proofing, small stable power supplies, and advanced sighting, optical resolution and clarity technologies."
Hey Darpa, I hate to ruin the party, but guided bullets already exist. They're called missiles. Yeah, they're laser guided and they shoot out of my penis. PEW on this, moneywasters! Oh, just a minute. *PSSH* Oh -- *PSSSSHHH* Aaaahh -- *PSSSSSHOOOOOOOOW!!*
Pentagon Shoots $22 Million Into Guided-Bullet Tech [wired]
Thanks to Erick, who came up with that PEW *WHOOSH* PEW thing, and never misses the urinal.
Nov 24 2008 Bullets And Paper Cuts: Hellboy's Samaritan
This is a papercraft model of Hellboy's revolver, the Samaritan. It's pretty freaking wicked and features a working hinge, loadable bullets, and complicated instructions. Hit the jump to see another pictures of the intricacy. But if there's one thing I've learned during my brief tenure on this planet we call f***ed, it's this: don't ever bring a paper gun to a knife fight -- you're gonna get stabbed.
Hit the link for the 14-page printable instructions.
Continue Reading " Bullets And Paper Cuts: Hellboy's Samaritan "
Sep 4 2008 Gun O'Clock: It's Time To Shoot Something!
The Gun O'Clock is similar in design to this alarm, and puts a new spin on the "annoying as all hell" alarm clock market. When the "Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi" alarm sounds, a target pops up and you have to shoot the bullseye enough times to stop the noise and reset the target. The $40 alarm is currently available for preorder and is sure to make getting up a lot more shooty. Or you can do what I do and do a little bedroom skeet shooting in the morning. Pull! BLAM BLAM Damn, I am the L337 shooter. Did you see that, honey? Honey? Oh shit. Quick, somebody help me flip the mattress.
Product Page
via
Morning Target Practice- Gun O'clock [rinkya]
Aug 18 2008 Eye Candy: More High Speed Photography
It's been a while since we've featured some delicious high-speed photography here on Geekologie, but at long last the wait is over, and I'm proud to announce: I am NOT THE FATHER! *high fives* Anyway, yeah, high-speed photos of shit getting shot up. There's a couple more after the jump, including a perfectly good can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Which, while saddening, led me to the development of an awesome new product. Bulletproof koozies, bitches -- I'm gonna be rich!
Hit it for three more and a link to a much larger Flickr gallery.
Jul 29 2008 Guy's Mower Won't Start, He Shoots It
Keith Walendowski is (based on his picture) the last man in the world I'd expect to be a raging alcoholic and own illegal weaponry. But he is, and he does. One day, Keith, who had already eaten his bourbon breakfast, decided to partake in a little Russian-toe-roulette and mow his yard (which, incidentally, is also his mother's -- he still lives at home with her). So what did ol' Keith do when the mower wouldn't start? What any other freaking idiot in his situation would do, blast it with a sawed-off shotgun. Forget checking the gas and oil, when a mower doesn't start all it needs is some holes.
Police officers said Mr Walendowski had told them: "It's my lawn mower and my yard, so I can shoot it if I want." He was charged by police in Milwaukee with disorderly conduct and possession of a sawn-off shotgun. He could face a fine of up to $11,000 and a maximum prison sentence of six-and-a-half years if convicted.
Geez, six-and-a-half years? I assume that's mostly for the shotgun. But, uh, just out of curiosity -- blasting a weed-wacker is totally legit, right?
Hit the jump for an example of what a Mad Max collectible "sword"-off shotgun looks like.
May 21 2008 LEGO Guns Look Dangerous, But Aren't
BrickGun makes LEGO kits that resemble real guns. The company is not to be confused with Brickarms, which makes little guns for LEGO figures. And unlike Forbidden LEGO sets, these won't actually shoot anything. But hey, they still look like guns.
We are the world leader in custom Lego weapon models. We specialize in creating the coolest, most realistic kits that can be built using genuine Lego parts. Each model is life-sized, with accurate dimensions and details. They feature functioning mechanics such as triggers, hammers, slides, safeties and magazines so they not only look like the real thing, they work like the real thing as well.
Yeah, they work just like the real thing. You know, except firing anything. But seriously, that's only a small part of a gun's function anyways. The MP5 kit was a limited edition set and is already sold out, but they still have plenty of Berettas, Glocks and Desert Eagle models (see pictures of these after the jump). All kits range in price from $40 - $60. And honestly, what could be cooler than owning a LEGO gun? Besides, oh I don't know, cutting the grass with a really shitty old mower because your wife won't let you buy a ride-on model. God I hate cutting the grass. Don't some people just like burn their lawn or something?
UPDATE: Oh f***. I'll man the garden hose, you call the fire department. Just tell them you're with The Geekologie Writer, they'll know what to do.
Pictures of all the models after the jump.
Mar 24 2008 Forget Shooting Clay Pigeons, Go For Flying Cars. Top Gear Shows Us How It's Done.
Shooting Flying Cars with Machine Guns, Rocket Launchers [gizmodo]
Mar 12 2008 I Want: Transforming Flashlight/Machine Gun
This is a video from SHOTSHOW 2008 of a Magpul prototype that's a transforming flashlight/machine gun.
Looks like a flashlight -- walk your dog, take the garbage out, get the mail. If any problems occur, anything you need immediate action with, you can on target and go with it. It's a folding machine gun. It's very transformer-esque...Folds up into a little compact package. Big enough to put in your back pocket. Fits right in there, you go for your walk. Gets nasty -- get down to business.
I can't remember the last time I needed a folding machine gun to walk the dog or get the mail, but that dude has me convinced I've been living foolishly. I need one of those. Like real bad. What if it "gets nasty" and I'm unable to "get down to business"? That would suck. But in my defense I was thinking just the other day we need more machine guns that can fit in back pockets. But be careful not to confuse it for your wallet! A wallet is highly ineffective at killing attackers. And whipping out your machine gun to pay for a hot dog at 7-11 is a definite no-no.
Thanks to Tyler, who doesn't need a folding machine gun because his fists are lethal weapons, for the tip
Feb 13 2008 The Gun Washer Keeps Your Pieces Clean
The F636HT Heavy Duty Long Gun & Handgun System looks like a deep fryer for weaponry, but is actually a gun washing machine. The $7,100 unit can clean 10 handguns or 4 long guns at once.
The system includes: one (1) lube pan 35.5"X6" v-bottom construction with anti-splash dampers & cover. Two (2) heavy duty weapon racks with 5 removable compartments, tank cover, drip proof flange with built in rack shelf and carry handles, H.D. adjustable heater for parkerizing, variable power generator 3/4" S.S. front drain valve and rear fill port. 2 gal. CC235 clean concentrate, 6 gal. CC400L lubricant.
The company estimates you can clean about 1,000 guns with the system's initial 8 gallons of included lube. And that, my friends, is a lot of guns. And lube. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Indeed, the world's first slip-and-slide shooting range. Whee!
F636HT Heavy Duty Long Gun & Handgun System Cleans your Weapons without the Elbow Grease [uberreview]
