Jun 16 2009 The Plug Wall: Enough Holes For Anybody

The conceptual Outlet Wall by Ironic Sans is by far the most smartest thing I've seen in awhile. I mean, it's a wallmade of outlets. Plenty of room for everything. Just don't show this little power-hungry bastard or he'll be humping it for days. And you know what? So what if it doesn't meet fire code, those are just rules the man designed TO KEEP US DOWN. This is my apartment, I should be able to barbecue in here if I want, you know? Damn yeah. Now pass the weenies and throw some more books on the fire.

Outlet Wall Doesn't Want to Hear One More Word About Power Strips [gizmodo]

Jun 3 2009 This Is Important: Cat Crawling Into A Couch

This is by far the most important thing you'll watch all day (suck it, the news!). It's a kitten crawling into a couch. I love how its little legs are poking out before it can pull itself in. Did it remind anyone else of a calf being born, but in reverse? No? Fine, me neither then. Dicks.

Youtube

Thanks to Sophia, who knows important shit when she sees it.

May 3 2009 Zombie Defense Training For Little Kids

This is a video of some little Japanese kids being trained to fight zombies. And let me tell you -- they are cute as little buttons. Remember folks, teach your kids how to properly protect themselves against attacks from the undead. Because otherwise you're gonna have to explain to your parents how a zombie ate their grandchild. And they will be pissed.

Youtube

Thanks to Shun, whose children are all comfortable wielding sawed-off shotguns.

Mar 26 2009 When Dinos Are Packaged Together, I Win

Pfft, that ain't no fail. That, my friends, is a win. A big 'ol Geekologie Writer win. Now who wants to drive me to the toy store?

Packaging Fail [failblog]

Thanks to junkyard dog, who knows quality children's toys when he sees them.

Mar 18 2009 Where Do I Buy?: Pillows For Working Late

'Pillows for working late' is a three-piece ensemble created by Polish designer Maja Ganszyniec. It comes with a collar, tie and sleeve that are soft and the perfect place to lay your head should you find yourself dozing off at your desk. I don't think you have to be working late to use them. I mean, I just got to work and I can barely keep my eyessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Whoa, I just had a dream I came to work naked. Oh, uh-oh. Think they'll send me home if I run over my penis with an office chair?

'Pillows for working late' makes your desk better than your bed [dvice]

Mar 17 2009 These Beats Are Sooo Fresh: The Ocarinas Of Rhyme, TWO Different Zelda Rap Albums

That's right folks: not one but TWO different rap albums set to the beats of Zelda games dropping on the same day -- with the same name! What are the odds? Pretty good considering one of the guys (Sleaze) thinks his idea was stolen. Anyway, first there is Team Teamwork Presents The Ocarina of Time, which features the music of Hyrule and Zelda games set to raps by famous artists. But then there's Sleaze's (who may or may not be this guy) Ocarina of Rhyme with all original raps by himself. So, who will slay Gannon? Who will win Hyrule? And who will bang Zelda while the other plays with himself in the Lost Woods while that creepy kid with the mask watches? You decide.

Hit the jump for audio samples of each, and the links to download (for free).

Continue Reading " These Beats Are Sooo Fresh: The Ocarinas Of Rhyme, TWO Different Zelda Rap Albums "

Mar 16 2009 I'm Toasty: Pogo Failures Warm The Heart

Let's face it: watching people hurt themselves is one of life's most simple and rewarding pleasures. Especially when they're doing something as stupid as extreme pogo-ing (if that's even a real thing. read: it's not). The video is 5:30 long, but the last two minutes don't have any pain, so you don't need to watch them. I did though, hoping they were building up to somebody losing the entire stick up their ass, but sadly, no.

Failed Pogo Stick Compilation [break]

Thanks to MoD, who doesn't have time to pogo because there's always a woman between his legs. Nice MoD, I want a woman there -- all I have is a lapdog.

Mar 10 2009 I Like Turtles Shoes: Pet Turtle Gets Tender With Somebody's Shoe

This is a video of somebody's pet turtle having sex with a shoe. It's possibly NSFW if you carry your house on your back or live in a pond. You need to watch it with audio though, because the little guy makes the cutest squeaky noises while he's going at it. Kind of like me, but with no crying in between.

Youtube

Thanks Marc, who loves animals, but not in the way that shoe loves animals.

Mar 9 2009 Yaaaar!: Finally, A Ship Fit For Hungry Pirates

Want to build you own 17,000 calorie pirate ship? No problem, pick up these ingredients and then follow the picture tutorial after the jump.

Ingredients:

~20 sausages
~48 rashers of bacon
1.2kg of sausage meat
1kg of pork mince
10 franks
1kg of pastry (not 100% meat this time)
1 onion
1 mushroom
2 packets of chipolata sausages
various food colorings
sage

My god that looks delicious. I've always known I wanted to be a pirate, I just had no idea how badly I wanted to be a meatpirate. Yaaar, surrender yer sausage! Haha nothing, I'm being serious -- now drop trow ye scalawags!

Hit the jump for the making of the ship.

Continue Reading " Yaaaar!: Finally, A Ship Fit For Hungry Pirates "

Mar 4 2009 Fully Automated, Computer Controlled Shower Will Kill You While You Bathe, I'm Sure Of It

The Aquapeutics (now to be known as AquaPEWtics) luxury steam shower has everything a person could want, plus a whole bunch of other crap, and a $4,300 pricetag.

This spaceship-worthy shower is loaded up with two handheld showers, a waterproof LCD TV, a radio, massage jets, a steam box, overhead lights, an alarm, and other crazy crap. The whirlpool and steamshower are computerized, letting you set your program to run when you get in, and it's all very fancy.

I WANT IT! I heard it even washes your balls and polishes them to a shine. Which, I think we can all agree, while painful, would be well worth the shellacking. QUICK -- LOOKIE HERE! Haha, blinded you.

Aquapeutics shower is just a little bit over the top [dvice]

Mar 1 2009 What An R2-D2 Boombox Might Look Like

This is artist Bill McMullen's concept of what an R2-D2 boombox might look like if George Lucas had actually marketed some cool Star Wars merchandise instead of all the crap I still bought anyways. Unfortunately, this R2-Boom2 doesn't actually work, making it infinitely less useful for breakdancing. That sucker needs to pump some fresh beats! And also, project a holographic Leia that strips to the music. Best idea ever, or best idea ever -- you be the judge.

R2D2 Boombox, Now That's Art [uberreview]

Feb 26 2009 Billy Idol's 'White Wedding', The Literal Version

This is the literal music video for Billy Idol's 'White Wedding'. I'm mostly posting it because I have a special affinity for Billy. You see, I went to see The Who perform Quadrophenia and Billy Idol made a special appearance dressed as a bell boy when they played the appropriately titled 'Bell Boy'. Then they broke into "White Wedding" and Billy scanned the entire crowd before flipping me the bird. Out of all those people, he chose ME to flick off! I haven't blinked since. Love you Billy! What do you say -- me, you, a white wedding? Sleep on it.

White Wedding: Literal Video Version [funnyordie]

Thanks to Dustin, who had an orange and purple wedding because of the acid.

Feb 11 2009 Finally, Zelda II Has Been Translated To Latin

Somebody went and translated all of Zelda II into Latin for the three people out there that might actually play it that way. They also did the original Zelda and Final Fantasy VI. Whee. As many of you may know, Zelda II is a sore subject for me because it's the only game in the entire series I haven't beat. And believe me, I've tried. I fire that sucker up and play through it at least twice a year AND STILL CAN'T DEFEAT THE LAST PALACE. So, anybody want to come over and beat it for me while I watch? The game too. HIYO!

Hit the jump for some more screenshots of the translated games.

Continue Reading " Finally, Zelda II Has Been Translated To Latin "

Feb 7 2009 What Should I Eat?: The Bacon Flowchart

If it's too small click HERE for the full-size version.

This has been floating around the intarwebz for a while now, so you may have already seen it. If you have, good for you -- where was the tip earlier, huh? Exactly, you're a jerk. Now buy me a beer. Wait, I want a liquor drink. A pink one.

Bacon Flowchart [ummyeah]

Thanks to Yopoleo, who chose bacon over Beggin' Strips 3 out of 4 times in a blind taste test.

Feb 6 2009 Geekologie Reader's Bacon Beerito Recipe

Loyal Geekologie Reader Sheniferous decided to share his Beer Burrito with me. And, since caring means sharing, I decided to pass along the coronary infarction to you. No need to thank me folks, just dig in.

We start off with the secret filling (Geekologie Writer's note: appears to be a rice and vegetable mixture -- Sheniferious, I'm thinking sausage and pepperoni next time), that's swimming in an All-Malt Porter. Then we bake porter-marinated bacon and not only chop it up in to bits for the beerito filling, but then lay two strips in the beerito. The beerito is then wrapped in porter-soaked tortillas, wrapped with two thicker porter-marinated strips of bacon. It's then dipped in beer batter and deep fried. Mmmm...mmm delicious!!!

My goodness, that sounds delectable. I've been living off Kid Cuisines and gin for the better part of a year now, and I've got to admit: marathon runs.

Hit the jump for a couple more and a link to the Flickr gallery.

Continue Reading " Geekologie Reader's Bacon Beerito Recipe "

Feb 4 2009 Man Vows To Eat Only Bacon For A Month

Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame) has vowed to only eat bacon for the month of February. Why? Because it's delicious. And healthy.

Now for the fine print: "Bacon" shall hereafter refer to the cured and smoked fatty cuts of pork, either back, side or belly. In other words "American bacon". No "Canadian bacon", which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No "tofacon" or any such horror. Just bacon.

No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature's finest bacon, all by its dignified self.

I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as "healthy". This is somewhat arbitrary, I grant you, but one bit of madness at a time, is my reasoning.

So far things are going without a hitch on day four, but he'll be dead by mid-month. RIP in advance, Mike.

Bacon Stupidity [rifftrax]

Thanks to Kevin, who once vowed to only eat pastrami for a month. He made it to brunch.