Nov 5 2009 On This Day In History

In 1955, Doctor Emmet Lathrop Brown was standing on a toilet hanging a wall clock when he slipped and beat his head on the bathroom sink. Unconscious, Doc had a vision. And that vision was that of a flux capacitor -- the device that makes time travel possible. The rest, my friends, is history. Or should I say, future? Time travel joke!

Wiki Page

Thanks to Zach, who doesn't need roads where he's going.

May 21 2009 Frank Lloyd Wright Architecture LEGO Sets

LEGO has just released the first two of six sets in an 'Architecture' series celebrating the iconic work of Frank Lloyd Wright. Also, I have been to Fallingwater. So yeah, put that in your Guggenheim and smoke it.

The release of the LEGO structures coincides with the real Guggenheim Museum's "From Within Outward" exhibition, which is a celebration of 50 years of Wright's continued influence after his passing.

The first of the sets was released on the 15th to coincide with the opening of the exhibition, and are part of LEGO's LEGO Architecture line of sets, made to "inspire future architects, engineers and designers as well as architecture fans around the world with the LEGO brick as a medium."

Cool, I want them. But nowhere near as much as I want you. Look at me -- don't you think we're sharing something special? I do, and they're called $6 pitchers. Now drink till you love me!

Hit the jump to see a shot of the Guggenheim.

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Apr 21 2009 Jones Is Back With An Even Better Business

Remember Toby Jones of Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage? Well he's back with another genius business idea, this time in the form of Jones' Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage. As you can see from the video, they even have fried dinosaur. Which, at least in my opinion, is just plain wrong. I'm no black widow!

Jones' Good Ass BBQ And Foot Massage [jonesbigasstruckrentalandstorage]

Thanks to my brother SuperFrank, who almost burnt the house down trying to fry a porkchop sandwich. My God did that smell good.

Mar 30 2009 World's Coolest Flight Attendant Goes To....

This guy apparently, because he raps all the flight information to the passengers. Personally, I think the title is debatable. I mean, for one: he's not me. And for two: I heard NWA does it better. *SWISH*

Youtube

Thanks to Curtis and Jcon, who tried to start a rapping taxi-cab company but failed because they kept running over bums while they were trying to bust the fresh beats.

Mar 3 2009 BEEP BOOP BOP: What R2-D2 Really Meant

NOTE: VIDEO'S SUBTITLES ARE NSFW.

This is a video of what R2-D2 really meant when he was beepity-booping and whirlity whirling. Obviously, the subtitles are NSFW because he's a pretty angry little droid. And can you blame him? The guy gets no respect. Like me after I rescued that kid from a tree. So what if it was partially my fault he was up there in the first place. He wanted to sit on the rocket-bike.

Hit the jump for another, longer video.

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Feb 26 2009 Billy Idol's 'White Wedding', The Literal Version

This is the literal music video for Billy Idol's 'White Wedding'. I'm mostly posting it because I have a special affinity for Billy. You see, I went to see The Who perform Quadrophenia and Billy Idol made a special appearance dressed as a bell boy when they played the appropriately titled 'Bell Boy'. Then they broke into "White Wedding" and Billy scanned the entire crowd before flipping me the bird. Out of all those people, he chose ME to flick off! I haven't blinked since. Love you Billy! What do you say -- me, you, a white wedding? Sleep on it.

White Wedding: Literal Video Version [funnyordie]

Thanks to Dustin, who had an orange and purple wedding because of the acid.

Feb 23 2009 Yay, Get Your Own Spider Drawing T-Shirt

Like the saying goes, "a picture's worth a thousand words, but a picture of a spider should be worth at least $233.95". I couldn't agree more. And now you can own a t-shirt with the iconic drawing of a spider for only $14.50. Or, you can print this picture out, tape it to an undershirt, and effectively save yourself $14.50. Now I'm not saying that's what you should do, I'm just saying that's what I did -- and I'm a fashionista. Suck it, Karl Lagerfeld, you....you are creepy.

Product Page

Thanks to jigga, who wears a scorpion-drawing shirt, but it just doesn't have the same appeal. It does, however, have pit-stains.

Feb 10 2009 ZOMG, I'm Bidding: Mr. Miyagi's Stuff On eBay

Pat Morita, best known for portraying Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid series, passed away in 2005. And somewhere, in heaven, he's still catching flies with chopsticks. And somewhere, here on earth (Las Vegas, Nevada), his widow is selling his personal effects on eBay. This happens to be a Viking pipe puffed on by Mr. Miyagi himself -- I'm bidding!

YOU ARE BIDDING ON A GREAT PIECE FROM THE ESTATE OF LATE ACTOR PAT MORITA. I AM THE WIDOW AND TRUSTEE OF HIS ESTATE. I HAVE BEEN OFFERING FILM MEMORABILIA. AFTER MANY REQUESTS TO LIST SOME OF HIS PERSONAL EFFECTS I HAVE BEEN DOING SO RECENTLY.

OFFERED HERE IS A GENUINE MEERSCHAUM SMOKING PIPE WITH THE ORIGNAL FELT LINED CASE. THE PIPE WAS USED VERY LITTLE BY MR. MORITA. I PURCHASED IT AS A GIFT TO HIM FOR HIS BIRTHDAY ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO. HE ALWAYS USED TO SAY "THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE USED" BUT HE ENJOYED IT NEVER THE LESS.

Haha, "enjoyed it never the less" is right. She's talking about that reefer. You know, marijuana. And, in honor of Mr. Miyagi, I am buying this pipe, getting high, and waxing my car. Who's with me? Okay good, you bring the weed and elbow grease.

eBay Auction
and
Mr. Miyagi's other auctions

Thanks to Kyle, who allegedly owns Mr. Miyagi's headband. I'll fight you for it!

Feb 4 2009 Klingon Robs 7-11 With Traditional Sword

Klingons: they can't be trusted. Proof positive: some mountain-head has been running around Colorado Springs robbing 7-11's with a BetleH, the traditional Klingon sword.

The first robbery was reported at 1:50 a.m., at 145 N Spruce St. The clerk told police a white male in his 20s, wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and wearing a black mask, entered the store with a sword.

A half hour later, police received a call from a 7-Eleven at 2407 N Union Blvd, where a male matching the previous description entered the store with a sword. He also demanded money from the store clerk. The clerk did not give him any money and the suspect left the store on foot.

Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon type sword, called a "BetleH."

Haha, and that highschool guidance counselor said you couldn't land a job based on extensive Star Trek knowledge. Screw you, Ms. Bench, who's laughing now?!

Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon Sword [thedenverchannel]

Thanks to Hector, who once robbed an Exxon station with one of their own pump handles.

Jan 15 2009 R.I.P. Ricardo Montalban, Patrick McGoohan

Ricardo Montalban and Patrick McGoohan have both passed away.

Ricardo was best known for his roles as Mr. Roarke on television's Fantasy Island and as Khan, the best Star Trek villain ever. He was 88.

Patrick McGoohan played Number 6 in the 1960's spy/trippy-ass show, The Prisoner. He was 80.

Thankfully, I was raised by parents that exposed me to such movies and shows which, unfortunately at the time, I thought were stupid. Only with older age did I realize the error of my youth and see just how filled with awesome they actually were. Thanks mom and dad -- and R.I.P. Ricardo and Patrick, you will be missed.

Hit the jump for a video of each in action, Ricardo as Khan, and Patrick as Number 6.

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Jan 14 2009 Australian Fixes Plasma TV With Baseball Bat

NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW, DUE TO LANGUAGE.

This video is so full of win I don't even know where to start. But I'll try. First of all, beating the shit out of a TV with a baseball bat is just awesome. Also, humping it against the wall is cool too. And to make matters even more rad, there's a pair of chicks with Australian accents arguing in the background the whole time. Which, combined with the beating of the television, really turned me on. And let me tell you: the guy they're arguing about, Simon (who the one emphatically claims she doesn't give a shit about), must be pretty freaking special for them to ignore the epic repair going down in the next room.

How To Repair Your Plasma TV With a Baseball Bat (NSFW) [gizmodo]

Thanks to Nathan, who once fixed his DVD player with a hockey stick but had to spend two minutes in the penalty box for high-sticking.

Dec 4 2008 Toby Jones Stores Your Stuff On The Cheap

God, I wish he offered a babysitting service too.

Youtube

Thanks to Jake, who's used Toby's services and swears they're legit. Well, as legit as $11 storage can be.

Aug 18 2008 Cool!: The Periodic Table Of Videos

The Periodic Table of Videos is a project created by University of Nottingham professor Martyn Poiakoff and video journalist Brady Haran to teach the masses all neat facts about the various chemical elements. This is a teaser trailer here, but you can go to their official website for 118 different videos, with more to come soon. Damn, this reminds me of my high school chemistry class. Oh, the joy I'd experience when I made something explode. Oh my god -- and don't even get me started on my lab partner's monster rack. The poor bastard had man-tits!

Periodic Table of Videos Makes Chemistry Extremely Watchable [gizmodo]

Aug 15 2008 Shhhh!: Nintendo Silences Shigeru Miyamoto

Video game guru Shigeru Miyamoto (the man behind such franchises as Mario, Donkey Kong, Zelda, and more recently Brain Age and Wii Fit) has been asked by Nintendo to not discuss his personal hobbies. Why? Because it reveals what Nintendo has in the works.

At least, that's the reasoning behind an item in The Times of London. The piece connects some dots -- Miyamoto loves puzzles, Brain Age follows; Miyamoto interested in exercise, Wii Fit is born; Miyamoto takes music lessons, Wii Music unveiled. And the writer, attributing to sources within Nintendo, says the third time was enough and Nintendo has asked Miyamoto to hush up about his interests.

Oh man, let's just hope Miyamoto isn't secretly one of those pervwads on the subway that tries to play grab-ass with unsuspecting women. Because, honestly, Cheek Cheek Ass Hand sounds like a pretty f***ed up game.

Ninty Forbids Miyamoto to Discuss His Hobbies [kotaku]

Thanks Beezy, now let's start spying on him.

Aug 12 2008 OMG, I Made It: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Many people think Geekologie is written by a computer preprogrammed with bad jokes or a bunch of fairies strung out on magic dust. Well, that isn't entirely true. You see, I came out of a vagina just like many of you did -- but haven't seen one since. Ladies, that was a birthday present hint. So yeah, I'm a year older today. But that's not gonna stop me from Geeking the ologie for all you lovely people! No way. In fact, I have a very special birthday surprise coming up in a few posts, which you will most certainly find worth celebrating. Also, seeing how my girlfriend will clearly forget today's significance, I was wondering if one of you could, I dunno, maybe pick up an ice cream cake?

Jul 30 2008 Drinking Buddy: Malaysian Pen-Tailed Shrew

Well folks, I've found myself a new drinking buddy. The Malaysian pen-tailed shrew subsists entirely on fermented nectar from the pertam palm plant, which can be as high as 3.8 percent alcohol.

A new study found that the tiny animal subsists on a diet roughly equivalent to 100 percent beer... Amazingly, though the tree shrews drink like fish, they don't seem to get drunk. The researchers, led by Frank Wiens of Germany's University of Bayreuth, videotaped regular nocturnal feeding sessions and followed the movements of radio-tagged tree shrews. Though they measured blood-alcohol concentrations in the animals higher than those in humans with similarly high alcohol intake, the tree shrews showed no signs of intoxication.

Well folks, no sense hiding it now -- I had sex with a shrew. The pen-tailed variety, dear reader, is my progeny.

Tiny tree shrew can drink you under the table [msnbc]

Thanks to Chad, the only man who's ever come close to beating my pen-tailed progeny in a drinking contest.

Jul 22 2008 Kid Makes Cardboard Halo Weapons

What good is cardboard Halo armor if you don't have matching cardboard weapons to wave around? Exactly, no good. That's why Youtube user fartbuttface (who looks and sounds suspiciously like my little brother) made them all in his parent's garage. On the pool table. Next to his Litttle Tikes play car. I love how you can hear the crinkle of packing tape whenever he moves around, that's a sign of quality. The video is kind of long, so feel free to skip around. But make sure to hit 0:35 for some teabagging/Halo humping action, 2:20 for how to reload the rocket launcher with wrapping paper tubes, and 3:15 when he totally should have mounted his machine gun on the Little Tikes car and pretended it was a Warthog. Good job, little guy. You keep this up this level of dedication and you've got a bright future in virginity ahead of you. Kidding, I'm just jealous my mommy doesn't let me make cardboard guns. She's teaching me to cross-stitch.

Hit the jump for a couple more of his videos, including one of him running around in the woods behind his parent's house in full Halo regalia and another of him pointing his sniper rifle at his neighbor's house. If you're really bored at work today you can read some of the comments on his videos at Youtube. There's some funny stuff in there.

Continue Reading " Kid Makes Cardboard Halo Weapons "

Jun 30 2008 Sweet Wheels: Dog Born With Back Legs Only

I love dogs more than I love people and that's the truth. Ask my girlfriend if you don't believe me, she has to sleep on the floor.

Hope, a Maltese puppy, was born with two little nubbins instead of front legs. So what did the people at Southern Comfort Maltese Rescue in Chattanooga, Tennessee do? Simple, they made her a pair of wheeled front legs.

The wheeled device was created by orthotist David Turnbill free of charge with makeshift shoulder joints connected to model airplane wheels. Each of the device's 'arms' can move up or down independently of the other, allowing Hope to pivot and turn. The spring-loaded prosthetic arms hook to a custom-fitted chest plate to allow Hope to lay down or sit up without removing the prosthetic.

The wheels she uses as front legs took some getting used to and at first the tiny lap dog would tip over to one side.

Now Hope is completely accustomed to the legs and can runs laps around her other puppy pals (but please, no stairs). Wow, that really warms the heart, doesn't it? Mine sure feels like it's on fire. And that's not just the spicy breakfast tacos talking. I just hope this doesn't start some sort of sick two-legged pet craze. I catch you brandishing a saw anywhere near an animal and it's gonna be you needing wheels.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a video of Hope before her wheels.

Continue Reading " Sweet Wheels: Dog Born With Back Legs Only "

May 15 2008 Awesomest News Story Ever Is So Awesome

This is the awesomest news story ever, and it all started when Ralph Hardy, a 13-year old, ordered another credit card from his dad's existing account. Then he and his friends went on a $30,000 shopping spree and ordered some hookers to a hotel room where they were playing Halo on Xbox.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

Oh my freaking goodness kids are getting so smart these days. What a great lie!

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services. They told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Awh man, they got them there and then bailed out? At 13 I could've definitely hit pause for two minutes (give or take a minute and a half) to bang a hooker.

But sadly, this all happened because of a father that forgot his son's birthday.

Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

Oh yeah, the ol' forgotten birthday and promised trip to Disneyland. Been there. Ralph was actually smart just sneaking a credit card in his dad's name. I'm still waiting for my freaking trip.

UPDATE: Story may be a hoax. If that's the case I'm gonna help my little brother make it a reality.

13 Year Old Steals Dad's Credit Card to Buy Hookers [money.co.uk]

Thanks Aaron, I'll let you know just as soon as my dad's new card gets here

May 12 2008 Guitar Hero Mod For One Handed Players

That handsome devil in the picture there is Ben Heckendorn, a man best known for his portable consoles and a number of one handed controller mods. Well he's back with another, this time a controller that allows someone to play Guitar Hero with a single hand (and foot). It's basically a pedal that replaces the strum bar. You just wonk on it with your foot when you need to strum, and press the buttons on the guitar like you normally would. Great job, Ben. I love the fact that there are people out there like yourself that take the less-fortunate gamer into consideration when you're modding. Now if you could just make a robotic arm that chucks a Wii Wheel at the television whenever someone loses at Mario Kart, I think we'll be set. Not that I have a use for one -- I don't lose. No, I think The Superficial Writer needs one. You see, while not handicapped in the traditional sense, he's no good at the game and throws a hissy fit whenever you red shell him. Plus he's just an all around poor sport*.

*I'm going to the free clinic this afternoon, you better have been joking.

One more picture of the device after the jump.

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