Jun 5 2009 Finally, I Can Sleep At Night: Researchers Develop Algorithms To Mimic Water Sounds
The watery sounds you hear in this video were all made using algorithms developed by researchers at Cornell, because, honestly, curing diseases can wait.
Doug James and Changxi Zheng, researchers at Cornell University, have developed a way to simulate the sounds of flowing or dripping water, which in real life are produced by tiny air bubbles that compress and expand due to surface tension, creating sound waves in the water.
So by using the geometry of a 3D scene, the Harmonic Fluids algorithm they developed can calculate where the air bubbles would have been created in real life and how they would have moved, which allows realistic accompanying sounds to be generated.
Now don't get me wrong, that's neat as hell, I just wish they would have made their research a little more useful in the real world. Like, I dunno, developing an algorithm to mimic the mating calls of prehistoric dinosaurs. Am I right? If we're not gonna cure cancer I should at least get laid.
Cornell Researchers Develop Algorithms To Simulate The Sounds Of Fluids [ohgizmo]
May 28 2009 Those Look Fragile: Eggshell Speakers
A guy named Gomhi (who may or may not own chickens) went and made himself some speakers out of a pair of eggshells and Hi-Vi B1S drivers. As you can see, they probably remind you of boobs. Because you're a serious pervert (no amateurs here!). Blah blah blah [insert joke about being careful not to fry your speakers here]. Blogging: I am good at it.
Amazing DIY speakers made of eggshells [dvice]
Thanks to Octopus Pie, anon and Shelly, who prefer their speakers with a side of bacon.
Mar 17 2009 No, Those Aren't Gaudy: Golden Speakers
Everybody knows gold makes for quality audio cable and connectors, but how does it fare as an actual speaker exterior? Pretty freaking ugly if you ask me. But England's Gold Acoustics seems to think there's something to it, because their GA Star line of speakers come complete with gold plating. These things would look great in your house right next to me kicking your ass, don't you think? No word on cost, but I'm going to go out on a limb and....AAAAAAAAAAAAHH! *thud*
Add some bling to your audio rig with Gold Acoustics speakers [dvice]
Mar 16 2009 Steampunk Frankenstein iPod Victrola Thing
I have no idea what you're looking at either. But whatever it is, it's looking back. Apparently it's some sort of custom iPod Nano (1st gen) case and docking station. I SAID STOP STARING AT ME. That's it, where's my laser pointer?
The design is inspired by Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. The "eye-Pod" can be worn on the wrist via the leather cuff, or placed on it's custom Victrola base. Music can be heard either through the Victrola horn or though a portable personal hearing apparatus (in progress).
All functionality of the iPod remain intact an a hidden USB cord retracts from the base to either a wall charger or your computer. There are hidden pressure plates that when touched send a strobing "static charge" into the quartz crystals on either side of the magnified viewing portal.
Cool. Lose the eyeball and I would proudly display it my living room. Just kidding, I wouldn't touch that thing with your penis. It's just not my style. But you know what IS my style? This Members Only jacket. You smell that? It's called freshness, son. Whoa -- except for that, that was partially digested Kid Cuisine. Sorry.
Hit the jump for a couple more of that oldschool joint.
Continue Reading " Steampunk Frankenstein iPod Victrola Thing "
Mar 13 2009 Sissypants Suing Over Exploded iPod Touch
A 17-year old and his family are suing Apple after an iPod Touch allegedly blew up in the sissy's pocket and caused 2nd degree burns.
It claims the boy had his i-pod touch off and in his pocket at school on December 4th, when he heard a pop and felt a burning sensation.
The lawsuit is seeking more than 200-thousand dollars in damages.
Pfft, I've got some 2nd degree burns but you don't see me trying to sue Cup Noodles. No, I think there's more to this story than the family is telling us. Namely, their house is about to be foreclosed and there was a reciprocating saw involved in the explosion. Elementary my dear, Watson. Now, fetch me a glass of the good stuff and come sit on Sherlock's lap.
Family Sues Apple Over Exploding iPod [local12]
Thanks to Douche McAllister, who had an entire sever blow up and catch fire in his pants but refused to sue because he's a real man with wrought-iron genitalia.
Mar 9 2009 Loewe Sound: A Cute Audio Commercial
This is a cute commercial for European-based electronics manufacturer, Loewe. The ad was designed to highlight their "extremely realistic sound", but to me it highlighted how cool a human remote-controller would be. Sorry, what was that? Haha -- you've been muted, son!
Thanks to Florian, who accidentally hit the power button and killed his roommate.
Jan 26 2009 Yes, Please: A Naked Stereo System
Ooh la la. This is a piece by Bob Turek in a series called Object Remix.
speakersfiberglass mannequin
hand built stereo amplifier
36" x18" x12"
2008As part of my object remix series, this stereo forces the music source into the center of attention and creates a radically new user interface
Ladies and gentlemen, it is official: I have touched music, and it felt good. Also, she's gonna need a new left speaker.
Object Remix [coroflot]
Thanks to Crystal, whose breasts sound like two angels singing "Happy Birthday".
Jan 18 2009 No, Absolutely Not: A $64,000 Turntable
We've already featured $19,000 and $300,000 turntables here on Geekologie, but what about something for the average guy -- you know, a mid-range record player? Enter the Angelis Labor Gabrielle Turntable.
The Gabriel is made from aluminum, bronze and stainless steel and can be customized with up to four arms. Each arm is made in a Modena, Italy, factory that also builds Ferrari parts. A one-armed model costs about $27,000, while a four-armed version runs for $64,000, including installation.
Why would anyone want four arms on their record player? Different pickup cartridges produce different types of sound, and some audiophiles like to match their record players' arms to different genres of music without going through the hassle of swapping cartridges."When I look at it," said Placido Pappalardo, co-owner of maker Angelis Labor, "the only word that comes to mind is love."
Really, Placido, love? I was maybe thinking spaceship or PEW PEW, but certainly not love. Unless, of course, you meant LOVE love, in which case, I'd hit that shit like a Laserdisc player.
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups.
Continue Reading " No, Absolutely Not: A $64,000 Turntable "
Dec 9 2008 Don't Stand Too Close To A Cuckoo Speaker!
The cuckoo speaker may look like an ordinary speaker, but when the music gets loud enough the speaker in the bottom pops out like one of those spring-loaded boxing gloves! I bet it sounds like shit! But regardless, to compliment the speaker, I've come up with a similar idea for televisions. Check this out: so it looks like a regular TV, right? But when there are naked chicks on the screen my pants shoot off! Move over Thomas Edison, your ass just got invented son!
Cuckoo Loudspeaker pushes the speaker into the room [dvice]
Nov 18 2008 Wrong, Just Wrong: Sexy Microphone Video
First of all, these videos are NSFW because they're all of of some chick pleasuring a microphone. Jesus, I feel dirty just posting them. Apparently they're part of some performance piece by artist Wojciech Kosma that has something to do with, um, acoustics, and, uh, bl0wjobs. Actually, I have no idea. But I do know this: I'll never be able to watch an interview the same way again.
Hit the jump for two more equally NSFW videos of the same damn thing. How people can casually sit there and watch is beyond me. Oh, and yes, you are a pervert if you watch these.
Continue Reading " Wrong, Just Wrong: Sexy Microphone Video "
Nov 3 2008 $110,000 Solid Aluminum Speakers
Got $110,000 burning a hole in your golden pants pocket? How about sharing the wealth with your favorite blogger? Damnit, no, not The Superficial Writer. That guy's a dick. No, not Iwatchstuff either. I was talking about yours truly, folks. Way to kick a guy in the freaking head while he's bent over to tie his shoe. Now I don't even want your money. Just kidding, I totally do. All of it. Stick 'em up! Jewelry too. Anyway the KEF Muon speakers are each milled from a solid piece of aluminum and take a week to make. And allegedly they sell for $110,000. Which is $1,000 times ninety-something. For speakers. But if you're seriously interested, call me, I'm an authorized dealer -- of kicking your rich ass!
Product Page
Thanks to Momboelitist, who wouldn't pay a dime over $69,950 for those mothers.
Sep 2 2008 Highly Questionable: The DJ Mobile
The DJ Mobile was built by Dutch artist Olaf Mooij and looks like the lovechild of a subcompact that f***ed a rocketship. The deafening piece was inspired by a song called "God is a DJ" and the Pope-mobile. I'd prefer the bulletproof bubble myself, but I have a lot of enemies. Unfortunately, the DJ mobile isn't meant to be used while driving, making it infinitely less cool than I originally imagined. Which, if you want to get all scientifical, wasn't even cool. Still, I would pour sugar in the gas tank.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the eardrum popper.
Aug 18 2008 Kids Add Audio Systems To Their Bikes
A group of immigrant teens from Trinidad that now live in Queens, New York call themselves the Stereobike crew and add bad-to-the-ass audio systems to their bicycles. Systems that put the boombox I keep in my front basket to shame. The speakers, powered by car batteries and run through amps, output thousands of watts, capable of rattling the paint clean off my Prism. Just imagine, when these kids are old enough to drive and start buying their own cars -- they're gonna get broken into and their stereos stolen.
Hit the jump for several more pictures.
Apr 2 2008 Surround Sound Chair Looks Ridiculous
There's a lot of things I'd do for awesome surround sound. These things include, but are not limited to: selling myself in the back of a U-Haul, lying, stealing, cheating on my taxes, drinking a gallon of milk in under an hour, and jumping out of a tall tree. However this D+S Surround Sound Chair just doesn't do it for me.
This chair prevents sound from reflecting off the walls and the ceiling and thus prevents it losing its vital character. The Chair has two speakers in front of you which is mounted on an adjustable tubing that can be fully adjusted. Two flared sound vents sit just next to your ears and look more like small trumpets. Two more circular speakers above your head complete the speaker quartet. And for some thumping bass, you have a nice sub woofer that sits neatly beneath the chair.
It costs $3,000. But if you're interested I would recommend waiting to pay until there are actual photographs proving its existence. Like those Bigfoot pictures. I was a complete non-believer until I saw those. Now, not only do I believe in monster trucks, but I think they're totally awesome.
D+S Surround Sound Chair puts normal speaker setups to shame [bornrich]
Feb 7 2008 $6 Million Home Theater Makes Me Weep
Ever wonder what a $6 million home theater looks like? Well wonder no more. Pictured is a home theater owned by Jeremy Kipnis, a music engineer/producer. It's got 39 separate speaker units and 36 amplifiers. The entire equipment list will make you cry (which I have included after the jump for your sobbing pleasure). He plans to sell similar systems to other rich folks like Lucas and Spielburg, but for right now he's the only one that's gone so crazy. I mean $6 million for a home theater? If I had that cash I don't think I'd blow it all on a home theater. I'd buy a strip club. Now that's an entertainment center that's fun for the whole family. You know, if you're single.
A ridiculously long and unbelievable list of the theater's components after the jump.
