Oct 30 2009 Pass: Microwaved Wii For Sale On eBay
Some guy is a selling a Wii he microwaved on eBay as a piece of art. It is one of the worst pieces of art I have ever seen. Did you hear that? That was Matisse falling out of his wheelchair in heaven.
For $5,998 on eBay, you could purchase a Microwaved Wii, which was "created through the unique art of microwaving by one of the most prominent entertainers and artists on the web."
"Kenny Irwin originals are projected to only increase in value as a collectors items and museums and media take notice of the world renowned art by Kenny Irwin that is unlike anything the world has seen before."
Wow, self promote much? Don't get me wrong, I do a lot of shameless self promotion myself, but that's only cause IF I DIDN'T I DIDN'T I'D THROW MYSELF IN A VOLCANO. *sniiiiiif* God I need a hug. And more airplane glue.
7:00 video of the whole process after the jump. I made it to 2:13.
Oct 2 2009 eBay: Amazing Optimus Prime Action Figure
Up on the auction block is a $45 Hasbro Optimus Prime action figure that's been meticulously modded and painted to match the leader of the Autobot's appearance in Revenge of the Fallen. The level of detail is amazing. Unfortunately, so is the price: bidding is currently at $730 with just under six hours remaining. So yeah, bid away if you want to blow a cool grand this afternoon. But if you want to blow up a cool air mattress, let me now -- I have guests coming to stay the weekend. Now transform and blow till you pass out!
Hit the jump for several more shots, including what the toy looked like before modification.
Continue Reading " eBay: Amazing Optimus Prime Action Figure "
Sep 9 2009 3rd Most Complete T. Rex Skeleton For Sale
"Samson", who is being billed as the third most complete Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton (I would hit that like a meteor), will be on the auction block in Las Vegas October 3rd. Bidding is expected to top $6 million. Great. Anybody know how to rob a bank?
Experts say the 170 bones discovered about 17 years ago in South Dakota represent more than half the skeleton of a 40-foot-long, 7.5 ton dinosaur that lived 66 million years ago."This represents the pinnacle of paleontology," Lindgren told The Associated Press on Friday.
"Most of the major museums in the world have casts of T. rexes," as opposed to the real thing, he said. "Bidding on this T. rex is not going to be a gamble, it's going to be the opportunity of a lifetime to whoever gets it."
The more I think about it, the more I can't believe they're letting this happen. You can't just sell a dinosaur. I mean, dinosaurs are people too, you know? THEY'RE NOT LIKE PROSTITUTES. Also, I don't care if the auction is going down in Vegas, this is just horribly, horribly wrong (I'll give you $2,000 for one night alone. $600 for just the skull).
T. rex for sale: Dinosaur fossil on block in Vegas [yahoonews]
Thanks to everyone who sent this in, are any of you by chance millionaires?
Jun 11 2009 DO NOT OUTBID ME: How To Sell A Washer
As we've learned in the past, personal selling takes skills. We've seen people do it right, and we've seen people do it horribly, horribly wrong. This is another example of successful selling.
Once while washing a load of towells it got a bit out of balance and it got so out of control for a minute that I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the otherside and they looked scared too, it almost sucked me in but I held onto for my life to the deepfreeze. It sucked my shoes and pants off though and it got the iron as well which pissed me off because it was quite a good one. Luckily it sucked it's own power cord out of the wall and stopped before the whole house went in.I drew a picture of the dinosaurs i saw incase people didn't believe me, they are partly red because my green felt ran out half way through.
Well, it's been real folks, but I'm boldly going where no man has gone before. Pantless. DINO-RIIIIIIDERS!
Hit the jump to read the entire ad (which is actually mad long) and see the dinosaurs.
Jun 1 2009 Still A Virgin: Sale Of Purity Falls Through
Remember that 22-year old chick that was auctioning off her virginity? Well the winning $3.8 million was placed by an Australian real estate mogul. Unfortunately, he's bailing out of the deal. Why? His wife won't let him do it!
Natalie Dylan (not her real name) admitted the deal had fallen through.
Last week, she got a phone call from the rogue Romeo, a 38-year-old Australian real-estate businessman, who said he had to back out."I told him to go back into marriage therapy," sniped Dylan.
The Aussie cad then sheepishly asked for his $250,000 deposit back. Dylan said no hard feelings; it would be returned.
That's just like a wife to go and not let her husband bang some 22-year old virgin. I swear, women.
'DEFLOWER DEAL' GUY PULLS OUT [nypost]
Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who doesn't have to pay for sex because he creates busty nymphs with his undead warlock powers. Oh oh, make me one!
Mar 24 2009 Own Your Own Velociraptor Trophy Mount
Remember the life-like Dilophosaurus mount that Geekologie Reader Josh made? Well he's at it again, this time with a 1:1 scale velociraptor head!
Up for auction is a full size replica of the Velociraptor from Jurassic Park. It measures 28 inches from the nose to base of the mount. It is made of high quality poly urethane resin that has been painted and sealed. The dinosaur is mounted to a wooden base that can be mounted to a wall like a trophy animal.
Josh is selling the head on eBay. Current bidding is at $200 with 6 days remaining. Now I really hope none of you outbid me, because this thing would look perfect mounted in my trophy room. And by 'trophy room' I obviously mean bedroom. And when I say 'bedroom' I'm talking the actual bed. And by bed I mean my ass. Sexy time!
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and another link to the auction.
Mar 3 2009 Master Chief/Warthog Transformer On eBay
We've already seen a Master Chief Transformer here on Geekologie, but quite frankly -- can I call you Frank? No? Well surely -- ooooh, I like that, can I call you Shirley? And, I dunno, maybe you could do your hair up in pigtails and wear one of those 50's poodle skirts? YOW YOW! Well, you think about it.
Up for auction is a custom built Transformer of Master Chief from the Halo series of games. A quick transformation turns him from the iconic Spartan soldier into a battle ready Warthog LRV . Stands 5 1/4" tall when transformed and comes with a variety of weapons including a Sniper Rifle, Spike Grenade, and Warthog turret. Built from a McFarlane Master Chief figure, an Actionclix Wartog and an Autobot Hound transformer, many hours of work have been put into this to make it a faithfull representation of both the vehicle and the character. I've had fun building this, and hope you enjoy it as well.
Hey, not bad. One time I tried to make my own Transformer out of different toys but I got frustrated and just ended up gluing one of my sister's Barbie heads on a G.I. Joe.
"Hawk, your new hair is so soft, I want to comb it."
"Hawk don't play that sissy shit, boy."
"Oh Hawk, you remember your buddy Snake Eyes -- remember what happened with the hair spray and the matches?"
"Make me pretty, boy!"
Hit the jump for some more pictures and a link to the auction.
Continue Reading " Master Chief/Warthog Transformer On eBay "
Feb 27 2009 Successfully Marketing Your Bike On eBay
Australian eBay seller yellowscooter knows how to sell a damn bike. Dude could probably sell gamma radiation to The Hulk.
This is a max wicked sick BMX. It's a Reliance Boomerang and it's done heaps of maximum extreme stunts. I have mostly done stunts on this bike since forever. Once I did a boom gnarly stunt trick on it and a girl got pregnant just by watching my extremeness to the maxxxx. Some details about sickmax BMX: Comes with everything you see including: TOPS AS SUSPENSION REAR FORKS!! 2 x wheels 1 x seat I will even thrown my sick BMXing name for FREE - Wicked Styx. Has minor surface rust on handlebars and front forks (easily removed). More rust on rear forks (as shown in pics). Tyres hold air but are pretty old. Basically, it's an old BMX, but it's radness is still 100% in tact. Tricks I have done on this BMX: Endos - 234. Sick Wheelies - 687. Skids - 143,000. Bunny Hops - 2 (my brother dared me to do them, which I did because I'm Rad to the power of Sick). Flipouts - 28. Basically if you buy this bike you will instantly become a member to every club that was ever invented, worldwide, because you will be awesome. Pick up from Richmond in Melbourne. Throw your hands in the air like you just don't mind.
Damn, I'm pissed bidding has already ended -- I desperately need that bike! I'll do anything to be Rad to the power of Sick! Because right now I'm hovering around Lame to the power of Healthy. And let me tell you -- it gets no ladies. Hey GW, how many ladies you getting? NONE.
eBay Auction
Thanks to Jackson and russel, who are both Raddest to the power of Sickest.
Feb 3 2009 The Last 867-5309 Number For Sale On eBay
'867-5309/Jenny' is a song by Tommy Tutone that will now be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Great. And allegedly the last 867-5309 telephone number in the US is up for auction -- with current bidding at almost $500,000! Wow!
Phone: (201) 867-5309
This is one of the LAST remaining 867-5309 numbers in service. Receives between 8,000-10,000 Calls Per Year!!***Many callers have informed me that I'm one of the only remaining 867-5309 numbers in service after attempting every area code in the US.***
Number is registered with Vonage (internet) phone company and is easily transferred with a simple modem that I will mail to you. All of the account transfer details are done easily online.
Works Anywhere in the US !!
You know what other number works anywhere in the US? Mine. Call me. Or, if you have a raspy man-voice, text.
Thanks to Jason, who can be reached day or night at (555) 972-6465.
Jan 27 2009 The Tampon Mona Lisa For Sale On eBay
Tampon Mona Lisa (AKA Bleeding Lisa, AKA Bitching and Moaning Lisa) is just that, a picture of Mona Lisa with a bunch of tampons glued on. It's like a middle school art class/sex ed mashup gone horribly wrong.
TAMPON MONA LISA uses an enlarged photocopy of Mona's face, bodice, and hands, the only areas that show her skin in DaVinci's original. Her hair and her clothing are represented in mosaic fashion by approximately 200 tampons. Some of the tampons have the strings attached, showing up as strands of hair or threads on her dress.
Whatever. The bidding starts at a ridiculous $2,600 and if anybody is interested I'll run out to CVS right now and make one even bigger. I'm talking those super absorbent joints. Shit, I may even throw in a few pads and an adult diaper.
Hit the jump for a closeup.
Jan 23 2009 ZOMG, I'm Buying It Now: $250K Mercedes SLR McLaren On Ebay For Only $45K!!!
Did I mention it was in the Great Chicago Fire? It was.
2005 Mercedes SLR McLaren, extensive fire damage. It has a lot of usable parts, including:* ENGINE
*TRANSMISION
*EXHAUST SYSTEM
*MOST OF THE FRONT SUSPENSION L+R
* FRONT WHEELS
* AND MANY OTHER MISCELANIOUS PARTS.
Screw it, I'm welding a patio chair to that sucker and calling myself Richy McMoney Burntride. So, uh, can one of you lovely readers float me $44K? Come on -- I'll let you sit on the gas tank and make VROOM VROOM noises!
Hit the jump for two more of the sadness.
Continue Reading " ZOMG, I'm Buying It Now: $250K Mercedes SLR McLaren On Ebay For Only $45K!!! "
Jan 16 2009 Virgin Auctioning Virginity Allegedly Gets $3.7 Million Offer -- I Should Know, It Was Me!
Remember 'Natalie Dylan', the 22-year old strumpet who's claiming to be a virgin so she can auction off her virginity to your dad? Yeah, well in what appears to be the longest-running auction ever (my last post was in early September), Natalie has allegedly received a $3.7 million dollar bid. Which, I want it to be noted, I wouldn't even pay for a virgin t-rex. F*** it, not even an albino virgin t-rex. Also, just look at that chick -- I've seen plenty of virgins (or at least the same one in the mirror everyday), and that ain't no Mary.
Natalie allegedly received over 10,000 bids and plans to use the money to go to college (read: get even bigger implants and become an adult-film star). Best of luck, Natalie, I'm rooting for you. And also, bidding. Tosseth aside thine chastity belt -- thou virginity is mine! F***, now I'm even creeping myself out.
22-Year-Old Sells Virginity Online -- and Feds Can't Do a Thing to Stop Her [foxnews]
Thanks to Bryan and The Superficial Writer, who, despite pooling their Whopper coupons, only came up with enough for a 30 seconds apiece with Natalie -- not that they'd need anymore. HIYO!
Dec 31 2008 Apple Equalizer: These Beats Are So Fresh!
eBay user jetsobox_au is selling a bunch of Apple logo graphic equalizer shirts. You can get one for $20 plus $15 shipping or $35 with free shipping. They light up in all their graphic-equalizing glory when the music is kickin' at the rave and you're rolling your face off, watching some asshat (who may or may not have stuck his pill up his ass with the help of a plastic Wal-Mart bag "glove") swing glowsticks around on showstrings (you know who you are!). Unfortunately, this seems like a bit of, oh I don't know, copyright infringement. Now I'm not saying I'm going to notify Apple to sue the pants off this bastard, but I am going to pose as Apple and "sell" the poor sap the merchandising rights. Suck it, the man!
Hit the jump for a video of the shirt in action and a link to the auctions.
Continue Reading " Apple Equalizer: These Beats Are So Fresh! "
Dec 26 2008 eBay: Pocket Sized Vampire Hunting Kit
Well we've already seen a $15,000 full-sized vampire killing kit. But what if you want something smaller? You know, a little vampire protection that'll fit in your pocket or man-purse? Enter the Vintage Pocket Sized Vampire Slaying Kit.
This is a Vampire killing kit that will travel with you, cause you never know when you may need it. It measures 6 5/8 inches long, and 1 1/4 inch square. One of a kind for sure.
The crucifix is from Paris, as stamped on the back of it, and it is obviously old. The Box also appears very old. The vials are brass, and contain Holy Water in the one with the copper tag with the "H" stamped on it, and the other vial has "G"stamped on it for garlic. The vial corks are sealed in red wax. A small wooden stake completes the set. A "V" is stamped on the copper plate on top for "Vampire".The parts, crucifix, wood box, screws, and metals used are old and tarnished, and most parts of the set are vintage.
Eh, I'd make my own if I were you. But $20 isn't too bad if you're lazy. You just better hope that holy water isn't urine. I hear vampires love that shit. And speaking of vampires -- the lead in Twilight, so dreamy.*
*This message brought to you by The World For A More Effeminate Geekologie Writer.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures of the kit, and a link to the auction.
Dec 17 2008 Just Plain Classy: Crown Royal Bag Quilts
My brother Frank knows classy shit when he sees it, and this is living proof. Personally, I can't remember the last time I had 100 Crown Royal bags, but that's because I drink too much. Did that make any sense? It shouldn't have, I've been drinking. For $350 ebay seller misteria0 will quilt you up some warmth in the form of stitched-together Crown Royal bags (for those of you that don't know, each bottle of Crown Royal comes its own little embroidered velvety bag). Quilts come in both 100+ bag and 150+ bag options, and are sure to keep you toasty on a cold winter's night. Alternatively, drink heavily and set yourself on fire. Ha, or turn the heat up you cheap f***er!
Hit the jump for a blurry closeup of the quality stitching.
Continue Reading " Just Plain Classy: Crown Royal Bag Quilts "
Dec 16 2008 Luke Skywalker's Lightsaber Sells At Auction
The lightsaber (which was made from part of a photography flashgun) that Mark Hamill swung around like the Star Wars Kid in A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back recently sold at auction for a cool £133,000 (~$206,000). Some other stuff from the movies sold as well, but for less dough.
An original section of the Death Star from the first 1977 movie also fetched £13,300 and C-3PO's helmet and robotic hands worn by British actor Anthony Daniels in the 1983 hit Star Wars: Return of the Jedi sold for £66,444 and £20,000 respectively.
I wish I had $200,000 bones to blow on movie props, because I would have bought that damn lightsaber. Then traded it for a truckload of hookers. And that, at least according to my grandpappy, is living the good life.
Use the profit, Luke! Lightsaber used by Luke Skywalker in Star Wars sold for £133,000 [dailymail]
Thanks to Ska, who once traded a Federation blaster for a night with an Ewok.
Nov 20 2008 7-Legged Spider Drawing Sells On eBay
Remember my personal hero David Thorne and his seven-legged spider drawing that was idiotically refused as payment for a $233.95 bill? Well the spider just sold on eBay -- for $10,000. And guess who won? This guy. *pointing at self* Ow, my eye. But yeah, I thought about just printing out a copy of the drawing, but then decided that would be immoral. Because I don't steal things -- except women's hearts! I keep them in a cooler full of ice and sell them on the black market. "Hearts! Get your hearts here! Also, ice cold beer."
UPDATE: Somebody on eBay is now selling accessories for seven and eight-legged spider drawings. Hit the jump to see their Santa hat and Buddhist's robe.
Nov 18 2008 Old Vampire-Killing Kit Sells For Small Fortune
An authentic vampire-killing kit from the 1800's recently sold at auction for nearly $15,000 to a pale man in a black cape. "This is a complete kit that comes fully equipped - stakes, mirrors, a gun with silver bullets (because where there are Vampires there might be Werewolves), crosses, a Bible, holy water, candles and garlic." The whole kit is housed in a beautifully decorated American walnut carrying-case. You know, because vampires hate nut trees, and nuts in general. Isn't that right, Dracula? Haha, biggest pair you've ever seen!
1800s Vampire Killing Kit Sold For $14,850 [youbentmywookie]
Thanks to Dave and REW, both of whom are trained in the art of beating the shit out of vampires.
Oct 15 2008 Lesson: How To Haggle Succesfully On eBay
Wow, I don't even know what to say -- except I'll give you 10 minutes with my sister for free shipping.
eBay Pimps [claireadventures]
Thanks to Claire, who's trying to convince me gadgety is a word. Seriously, do I look like I just fell of the banana boat? Haha, no, that's not one in my pocket. Oh wait, yes it is. Damnit, gadgety is a word.
Sep 11 2008 Grad Student Auctioning Her Virginity To Pay For School, I Am Winning, Don't Outbid Me
A female grad student at Sacramento State is selling her virginity in an auction to pay for her schooling. She may or may not have had a pair of baby high heels as an infant.
The 22-year-old who is using the pseudonym Natalie Dylan for safety reasons is going through a legal brothel in Nevada to sell her virginity. "The main purpose of this is to finance a couple things in my life," Dylan told CBS13. "I think empowerment of women is picking yourself up and doing something on your own to better yourself."
Dylan says she's already taken a polygraph test to prove her virginal status, and is also willing to undergo a medical exam.Hof says Dylan is a bright, beautiful young woman who's going to consider a number of factors in her decision because she wants her first time to be a positive experience. "Natalie is a very smart girl. All she wants to do is get her master's degree in family and marriage counseling and be a psychologist. She's selling her virginity to accomplish that," Hof told CBS13. "She's smart enough to sell it. This is empowering her."
I think we can all agree when I say this is most certainly what female empowerment is all about. Take that, glass ceiling!
Hit the jump for a more provocative picture.
