Oct 15 2009 Uh-Oh: Chinese Scientists Create Black Hole

Two scientists in China have developed an electromagnetic black hole capable of sucking in and trapping microwaves (not my Kid's Cuisine!). Next stop: trapping visible light.

The device, which works at microwave frequencies, may soon be extended to trap visible light, leading to an entirely new way of harvesting solar energy to generate electricity.

A theoretical design for a table-top black hole to trap light was proposed in a paper published earlier this year by Evgenii Narimanov and Alexander Kildishev of Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana. Their idea was to mimic the properties of a cosmological black hole, whose intense gravity bends the surrounding space-time, causing any nearby matter or radiation to follow the warped space-time and spiral inwards.

Now Tie Jun Cui and Qiang Cheng at the Southeast University in Nanjing, China, have turned Narimanov and Kildishev's theory into practice, and built a "black hole" for microwave frequencies. It is made of 60 annular strips of so-called "meta-materials", which have previously been used to make invisibility cloaks.

You can hit the link to read how the black hole actually works, but that's not what's important. What's important is that it DOES work, and we're all doomed. And here I thought my stomach was the only black hole on earth. Don't believe me? Somebody toss a cheeseburger in the air. Did you see that? Works for hot dogs too. Haha, nice try buddy -- you keep those pants zipped.

First black hole for light created on Earth [newscientist]

Thanks to Equalizer and Chris, who have both lost spaceships to black holes before.

Sep 16 2009 We're Saved!: Astronomers Discover Solid Planet Outside Of Our Solar System

Unfortunately, it's solid lava and has a daytime temperature of 3,600 degrees Fahrenheit. Still, I'd live there. With Satan. You hear that, my fiery little bitch? I SAID LIGHT THE GRILL.

As scientists search the skies for life elsewhere, they have found more than 300 planets outside our solar system. But they all have been gas balls or can't be proven to be solid. Now a team of European astronomers has confirmed the first rocky extrasolar planet.

The planet is called Corot-7b. It was first discovered earlier this year. European scientists then watched it dozens of times to measure its density to prove that it is rocky like Earth. It's in our general neighborhood, circling a star in the winter sky about 500 light-years away. Each light-year is about 6 trillion miles.

Well folks, it's been real. But I think it's time for your Geekologie Writer to hit the big red 'BLAST-OFF' button and shoot himself to Corot-7b. And like that saying goes, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you make it, your dad will still call you a failure."

Found: Firm place to stand outside solar system [yahoonews]

Aug 13 2009 You're Doing It Wrong!: Astronomers Discover A Planet Orbiting Its Sun Backwards

So apparently astronomers have spotted a planet that orbits its sun in the opposite direction that the sun rotates, the first known of its kind. Nice. WAY TO BE DIFFERENT YOU STUPID LITTLE PLANET, YOU JUST BLEW MY WHOLE THEORY OF PLANETARY ORBITY THINGS! You jerk.

The star and its planet, WASP-17, are about 1,000 light-years away.

WASP-17 likely had a close encounter with a larger planet, and the gravitational interaction acted like a slingshot to put WASP-17 on its odd course, the astronomers figure.

You know, this reminds me of a special little planet I knew growing up. He always put his shoes on the wrong feet and had to wear headgear to school. But you know what? HE TURNED OUT TO BE THE LITTLE PLANET THAT COULD. What -- no I'm not talking about myself, this kid was actually retarded (of course it was me).

Newfound Planet Orbits Backward [yahoonews]

Jun 2 2009 PEW PEW!: World's Strongest Laser Unveiled

The world's strongest laser was unveiled in California last week. It's not actually a single laser though, it's 192 individual ones all focused on the same spot. Cheating! It's going to be used to ensure the US nuclear weapon stockpile is still functional in case Russia starts bitching out. Also, some space shit.

The super laser, officially known as the National Ignition Facility, was unveiled Friday before thousands of people at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory.

Beginning next year scientists will use the laser for experiments aimed at creating controlled fusion reactions similar to those found in the sun.

"More energy will be produced by this ignition process than the amount of laser energy required to start it. This is the long-sought goal of energy gain that has been the goal of fusion researchers for more than half a century," said NIF director Edward Moses.

'National Ignition Facility'? That's the worst name ever. Why wasn't there a contest to get to name the thing? Because it'll always be the PEWINATOR to me. Which, haha, is the same thing I named my junk penis. But seriously, don't stare directly at it.

World's strongest laser unveiled at Calif. lab [sfgate]

Thanks to Watch-303, catch22, Luis, Doug, Hunter and Phil, who did stare directly at it and paid the price. $10.

May 15 2009 Universe's Largest Black Hole Discovered

Allegedly astronomers have discovered the universe's most massive black hole. How massive? Think my ex-wife's gaping pie-hole times three.

Whatever gave birth to this monster can be real proud. The biggest black hole in the universe weighs in with a respectable mass of 18 billion Suns, and is about the size of an entire galaxy.

The biggest black hole beats out its nearest competitor by six times. Fortunately, it's 3.5 billion light years away, forming the heart of a quasar called OJ287.

So, what does this mean for us? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Quick, everybody, foil helmets, foil helmets! *click* Haha, you all looked so stupid.

18 Billion Suns -Biggest Black Hole in Universe Discovered--and it's BIG! A Galaxy Classic [dailygalaxy]

Thanks to interstellar vacuum salesman, who could sell that black hole a stairs attachment even if it doesn't have any.

May 11 2009 Another Day, Another Cosmic Eyeball

We've already seen God's hand, God's eye and the Eye of Sauron, so why not another cosmic ball of eye? This here is the latest in a batch of images from the Hubble Space Bubblescope of planetary nebula Knockout 4-55. Enter Punch-Out tie-in here. I AM THE L337 BLOGGAR!

Planetary nebulas have nothing to do with planets. They were named so because in early telescopes, they had the fuzzy look of planets in our outer solar system. In fact planetary nebulas sit throughout our galaxy. This one contains the outer layers of a red giant star that were expelled into interstellar space when the star was in the late stages of its life.

Ultraviolet radiation emitted from the remaining hot core of the star ionizes the ejected gas shells, causing them to glow.

In the specific case of K 4-55, a bright inner ring is surrounded by a bipolar structure. The entire system is then surrounded by a faint red halo, seen in the emission by nitrogen gas. This multi-shell structure is fairly uncommon in planetary nebulae.

BOOM, YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WAS GETTING ASTRONOMY LESSONED! Now, for your astrology lesson: it's all bullshit. Also, you will make decisions soon. NO I AM NOT HIGH. Tell me, if eyes are the windows to one's soul, is a cosmic eye THE WINDOW TO ANOTHER DIMENSION?! And, if so, is there a dinosaur park there? ZOMG -- quick, tie me to a rocket engine!

Hubble Photographs Giant Eye in Space [yahoonews]

Thanks to Watch-303, who may or may not be operating out of Boulder/Denver region.

Apr 22 2009 Scientists Find Watery, Earth-Like Planet?

Earth Day Fools! Oh, wait, no. Apparently this is real, and only 20.5 light-years away! Ladies and gentlemen -- start your rocket engines. PSSSSHOOOOOOOOW! PEW PEW.

The Gliese 581 planetary system now has four known planets, with masses of about 1.9 (planet e, left in the foreground), 16 (planet b, nearest to the star), 5 (planet c, center), and 7 Earth-masses (planet d, with the bluish colour).

Michel Mayor, a well-known exoplanet researcher from the Geneva Observatory, announced the find today. The planet, "e," in the famous system Gliese 581, is only about twice the mass of our Earth. The team also refined the orbit of the planet Gliese 581 d, first discovered in 2007, placing it well within the habitable zone, where liquid water oceans could exist.

Planet Gliese 581 d, is that really the best they could do? GIVE IT A REAL DAMN NAME ALREADY. I propose Waterworld. And speaking of which, that was a hell of a movie, was it not? Oh, I'm getting a "no" from The IWatchStuff Writer. But he had gills, man, gills!

Nearly Earth-sized Planet, Possible Watery World Spotted Near Another Star [universetoday]

Thanks to Morgana, who, for an Earth-related tip on Earth Day, wins a free trip to Gliese 581 d, just as soon I finish my rocketship.

Mar 5 2009 Little Moon Spotted Hiding In Saturn's Rings

Saturn, the second largest moon-whore in the solar system (behind Jupiter), has been caught hiding another trick in one of it's outer rings. What a slut!

The discovery of what appeared to astronomers as a faint, moving pinprick of light, was announced by the International Astronomical Union.

The international Cassini spacecraft spotted the small moon, which measures about a third of a mile wide.

Pfft -- 1/3 mile wide? That ain't no moon. That ain't even a moonlet. That, my friends, is a moonatoid. Come get some, Pluto!

'Moonlet' Found in Outer Saturn Ring [discovery]

Thanks to tarastars, who once stole a moon from Neptune and sold it at a yard sale to buy a video game.

Nov 14 2008 First Peek At Another Planetary System!

That's right folks, this is the first photo (I have no idea what this was then), taken by the Hubble Space Telescope, of a planet orbiting another star. "[The picture] shows a planet orbiting the bright southern star Fomalhaut, located 25 light-years away in the constellation Piscis Australis." Hit the jump for another pictures of a planetary system 130 light-years away. That Hubble must have some camera! And, wait a minute -- THAT'S NOT A PLANET, THAT'S THE EYE OF SAURON! We're all dead! But, before I go, where'd that sexy little Gollum run off to?

Hit it for a couple more photos.

Continue Reading " First Peek At Another Planetary System! "

Sep 18 2008 The First Glimpse Of An Actual Alien Planet

That's right folks, this is not the light at the end of the tunnel, it's a star and orbiting planet some 500 light years away.

While scientists have found numerous planets by detecting gravitational "wobble" in stars, "this is the first time we have directly seen a planetary mass object in a likely orbit around a star like our Sun," said the lead author of a paper about the discovery, David Lafrenière.

The planet is 3,106 trillion miles away and approximately 8x the size of Jupiter, but 11x further from its sun than Neptune is from ours. Interesting, very interesting. Being a town-renowned astronomer myself, I'll go ahead and spit some info about the planet that those pseudo-scientists that made the discovery failed to mention. Let's see here....round, yellowish-orange, significantly smaller than 1".

BAM! You just got Saganed!

Historic first look at an alien world, 3106 trillion miles away [dvice]

Feb 20 2008 Tonight's The Night For Sky Watching

There's a total lunar eclipse tonight that you should probably step outside and take a look at later. "The moon will be completely within the shadow of the Earth as of 10pm EST, and won’t start to come out again until 10:50pm. During that time it’ll turn a lovely reddish-orange, thanks to the sunrises and sunsets refracting light past the limbs of the Earth."

Also during that time the US is going to try to shoot down the spy satellite we've been hearing so much about lately. They're going to use a modified SM-3 missile launched from sea near Hawaii and I'm totally going to go pick up the pieces which are expected to land in central Canada. They've got to be worth something right? It's like when I was a kid and dug up baby dinosaur bones in the backyard. I was so excited I tried to sell them to a museum. That's when my parents broke it to me that they were the remains of Nibbles, my guinea pig. Those assholes had told me he was on vacation.

Spacewatch: Wednesday Is A Big Night [ohgizmo]