Toilet paper: you wipe your ass with it (except this guy, who may use circuit boards). Sometimes you even use it to clean up spills. And sometimes you use it as a napkin and then don't understand when your stomach is upset later (SPOILER: YOU ATE DOODOO PARTICLES). Personall... / Continue →

In a case of Jesus Christ neither one of you should be allowed anywhere near a child, a woman claims she got pregnant from watching a 3-D adult film while her husband was in Iraq (liar liar vagina on fire!). US military man Erick Jhonson came home from a stint in Iraq to find ... / Continue →

The Rectum Bar in Vienna is a bar shaped like an anatomically correct rectum. I think we can all agree it brings new meaning to the phrase, "getting butt-ass drunk", amirite? No? YEAH WELL YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT! Yes, that was a rectal related tie-in. God I'm L337. The design... / Continue →

NOTE: You might want to stop watching at 1:20 before she turns around. This is a chick with ass for days playing some racing game on XBox 360. First one to name the game in the comments obviously missed the point of this post. Also, you think she shakes her ass around for th... / Continue →

Finally, a piece of office equipment that quickly and efficiently turns used printer paper into rolls of toilet paper. That's right, The White Goat -- wait, The White Goat? WTF kind of name is that? Because goats can eat tin cans? Just pop in about 40 sheets of paper, and... / Continue →

Now I've known about Booty Pop panties for awhile now because I have the imitation Fredrick's of Hollywood ones, but apparently they're making their rounds on the internet again. Because, let's face it: we all want that ultimate, shapely, lifted booty. Unfortunately, this boo... / Continue →

Rear Gear Butt Covers ("No more Mr. Brown Eye" -- not even kidding) are little $5 cardboard cutouts that hang from your pet's tail and cover its butthole. Jesus Christ. Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I've got them covered... Rear Gear ... / Continue →

Ged Gavin, 55, has a bionic ass and doesn't care who knows. Which is good because I definitely just texted everyone in my phone. And by texted I mean sexted. All the kids are doing it. What? Yes I'd jump off a bridge! Mr Galvin suffered massive internal injuries and had to... / Continue →

This is what a toot likes like under thermal imaging. Looks kind of like a ghost, don't you think? The ghost of dinners past! Get it?! Me neither. Also, I totally just made you stare at a man's ass. Women don't do that! Right? Women don't do that....right? Picture Tha... / Continue →

Ever wanted a toilet seat that looks like a guitar? It's not high on my list of priorities either, but if you already have every other thing in the world maybe it's time for one. Jammin' Johns come in guitar and piano varieties and will set you back about $180. They go perfe... / Continue →