Oct 5 2009 It Buuuuurns!: Laser Projection Wrist Watch
This conceptual Alessi laser watch by designer Andy Kurovets projects the time onto your wrist with lasers. Pfft, what's the matter with Indiglo technology? That shit's hot! But if you do opt for lasers, just make sure you buy the right powered battery or that bitch might burn right through your arm! Kidding, future laser technology will be kinetically powered by the motion of your arm. So no masturbating. Kidding -- I say go for it!
Concept Watch Actually Projects the Time Onto Your Wrist...With Lasers [gizmodo]
Thanks to charlie and Aisha, who don't need watches to tell what time it is cause they have magnets in their brains like birds or whatever. Yes I paid attention in school!
Jul 30 2009 Not For My Kids!: Darth Vader Robot Arm Toy
This Darth Vader robotic arm toy from Uncle Milton (creep!) costs $30 and will be broken by day's end. God, can I sell products or what? No, seriously, I can.
Build and use a real Star Wars Darth Vader robotic arm! Grip and move objects using interactive controls. Assembles easily with snap-together parts. Kids will learn how robotic arms are being used in medical science applications! Includes stand with built-in controls. Fun and informative learning guide included.
* Assembles quickly and easily with snap-together parts.* Includes stand with built-in controls.
* Gripping, turning, and extending action.
* Grabs and holds lightweight objects.
Well if that doesn't sound funner than a bunch of Sea Monkeys I don't know what does (except everything, including watching your last Sea Monkey die). No, I hereby challenge you to an arm wrestling match, Vader Arm. Ready? Set? *SLAM* Go. Haha, you have two fingers!
Thanks to Slade, who made a necklace out of robot fingers, which is pretty sick. And to naas, who's going to use this arm to choke me for the rest of the week.
Jul 27 2009 Eye Candy: Luke Skywalker USB Drive
This is a custom made Luke Skywalker (circa Empire Strikes Back) USB drive. I assume it's painted modeling clay, but honestly it could be made out of unicorn tears for all I know. What an amazing job the artist did though -- such an expressive face. It's like you can hear him screaming, "WHY'D SHE HAVE TO BE MY SISTER!?!"
Hit the jump for several more shots of the expressiveness.
Jun 19 2009 Wow, Just Wow: NES Controller Scarification
Link is possibly NSFW depending on how your boss feels about vomit on your keyboard. GRAPHIC: LOOK AT YOUR OWN RISK.
After the jump you will find a picture of BME member Metal_Games, who had the likeness of a NES controller cut into the back of his leg AND THEN THE SKIN REMOVED. Hey, different strokes for different folks. I like freestyle.
The stencil went on, and we were ready to go. Starting with the lines, the pain wasn't half as bad as I'd expected. In fact, it was a breeze for the most part. It took Jeffrey, the artist, about 20 minutes to cut all the lines. A couple of deep breaths, and we went straight on to removing the skin...
Fun fact: it took me five smelling salts to write this post.
Hit it if you dare.
Continue Reading " Wow, Just Wow: NES Controller Scarification "
Jun 12 2009 Comfort Wipe: Holding Toilet Paper In Your Hand Is "Really Archaic And Disgusting"
The Comfort Wipe is an 18" arm extender/wad of toilet paper holder for use when you can't reach your own ass or don't like your digits coming into contact with your butthole (you're doing it wrong!). Interesting. Also, I want to know the "advantages" of being big the hefty dude is talking about. In all seriousness though, this really is a great product, I just recommend buying two (read: I lost one wiping hard).
Thanks to Wilson and gizmoduck, who just use a handful of poison ivy fashioned to a stick because they're hardcore.
Apr 4 2009 Hardcore: Man Gets Hand Cut Off With Samurai Sword, Punches Attacker With Stump
Peter Rogers is a hardcore dude. First he insults some guy's girlfriend's mother, and then, in the resulting bar fight, gets his hand cut off with a samurai sword but continues to punch his attacker in the face with his bloody stump. Wow, Mr Rogers (I really loved your little train set!).
Detective Garda Tony Gleeson told Dublin Circuit Criminal Court that Russell severed Mr Roger's hand at the wrist with his first swing of the sword and his hand fell to the ground. Mr Rogers continued to struggle with Russell and at one stage punched the accused in the face with the stump of his arm.
Det Gda Gleeson said that Mr Rogers had been in the pub with a number of friends that day when he heard someone shout, "there's the c**t" before he was struck from behind with a hammer. This blow came from Russell's co-accused and friend who was then wrestled away by bar staff.Russell then swung a samurai sword at Mr Rogers and continued to strike at him four or five times before staff dragged him away. He was restrained by the bar manager but managed to escape and fled the scene.
Det Gda Gleeson said that one customer picked up Mr Rogers' hand and placed it in ice in a black bag. The victim was taken to the Mater hospital where he underwent emergency surgery to re-attach his hand. He is 'unlikely to regain full use' of limb.
First of all, good looking, Mr Rogers (I loved that episode where you visited the post office!) Secondly, how the hell do you get a samurai sword into a bar? I mean, I can't even count the times I've been frisked because a doorman suspected my penis was a WMD (which, to their credit, it totally is. Ladies?). Lastly, sorry to hear about your hand, Mr Rogers (don't forget to feed the fish!), but look on the bright side -- Best. Strangers. EVER.
Sword attacker sliced off victim's left hand [independent]
Thanks to Matthew and Cian, who once got their hands cut off but only cried about it. Wow, you two could really learn a thing or two from Mr Rogers here. Including, but not limited to: how to be a good neighbor.
Feb 16 2009 Vader Kills George Lucas In Brutal Tattoo
A Gizmodo reader by the name of Kevin sent them this picture of his pasty arm.
I got this tattoo about 8 months ago. I believe it perfectly sums up my feelings towards George [Lucas]. I love Star Wars, but I wish George would retire and leave the series in better hands. Just thought you should see it.
Oh snap -- you just got your head Force-choked off, George! Also, nice codpiece, Darth, I like your style.
Now hit the jump to see a real man's tattoo (mine).
Continue Reading " Vader Kills George Lucas In Brutal Tattoo "
Feb 10 2009 'Immaculate' Prosthetic Aims To Make Fake Limbs More Attractive, They Totally Succeed
The currently conceptual 'Immaculate' prosthetic was designed by Hans Alexander Huseklepp and looks like a robot's arm. Am I running? No, but I am typing this standing up.
The concept "immaculate" from Hans Alexander Huseklepp explores the idea of turning a handicap into a high-performance, cybernetic fashion statement. The neurological prosthetic is clad in technology-packed corian plates with dome-joints that offer a larger degree of freedom than that motherly-issued arm of yours.
Hey, anything that makes a prosthetic more efficient and those wearing them feel better is alright in my book. I just wish they came with a wood veneer option. What can I say -- I'm a pirate at heart. A really classy one who wears a monocle over his eyepatch. YAAAR, anyone for tea?
Hit the jump for one more picture sans model.
Jan 20 2009 Guy Gets Arm Replaced Luke Skywalker Style
Evan Reynolds, 19, got his hand and part of his arm ripped off in a car accident and has since been fitted with an i-LIMB, a robotic hand developed by an Apple/Star Wars fanboy.
The i-Limb was developed by a Scottish company, Touch Bionics, and has won awards for its innovative technology. The total cost including the hand itself and the fitting is about £30,000.
"It's so sensitive I can grip a bottle of water or a paper cup without crushing it, and even swing a racket. All I have to so is imagine picking something up or gripping it and the fingers and thumb move automatically."Mr Reynolds said his disability has not stopped him playing sport, his greatest passion, nor has it crushed his spirit.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fake arms and shit, but I'd still be pissed if Evan could throw the ball better than me. And that, dear reader, is only one of the thousands of reasons why I'm going to spend eternity in hell with a piece of glowing charcoal in my ass.
Bionic hand gives student new lease of life [telegraph]
Thanks to MoMan, who fears the day his robotic prosthetic turns on him and rips his penis off.
Jan 20 2009 I Can Add!: Tokyoflash's Kisai Keisan Watch
I know what you're thinking, "holy shit, we have a new president!" And also, "damnit Geekologie Writer, hit me the latest in time-telling devices". Well you got it, son. The Kisai Keisan is the latest in Tokyoflash's wrist flasherdashery. If you can add, you can tell what time it is on the Keisan.
Calculate the time with Keisan. Simply touch the button and digits will appear in four vertical lines. Add the digits in each vertical line to read the time. The date is displayed in the same way after the time. The time and date can be accelerated by pressing button A again. To find out more, take a look at the interactive manual to the right.
The Keisan is available for $255 in black with red or green LEDS, and silver with orange or yellow LEDs. But hurry -- they'll be gone in a Tokyoflash! ZOMG, I think I just reached a new level in L337 advertising: +30 selling, -20 dignity! I swear, I could sell fire to Satan -- or cans of bitch to my ex-wife!
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of the flashery.
Continue Reading " I Can Add!: Tokyoflash's Kisai Keisan Watch "
Jan 18 2009 No, Absolutely Not: A $64,000 Turntable
We've already featured $19,000 and $300,000 turntables here on Geekologie, but what about something for the average guy -- you know, a mid-range record player? Enter the Angelis Labor Gabrielle Turntable.
The Gabriel is made from aluminum, bronze and stainless steel and can be customized with up to four arms. Each arm is made in a Modena, Italy, factory that also builds Ferrari parts. A one-armed model costs about $27,000, while a four-armed version runs for $64,000, including installation.
Why would anyone want four arms on their record player? Different pickup cartridges produce different types of sound, and some audiophiles like to match their record players' arms to different genres of music without going through the hassle of swapping cartridges."When I look at it," said Placido Pappalardo, co-owner of maker Angelis Labor, "the only word that comes to mind is love."
Really, Placido, love? I was maybe thinking spaceship or PEW PEW, but certainly not love. Unless, of course, you meant LOVE love, in which case, I'd hit that shit like a Laserdisc player.
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups.
Continue Reading " No, Absolutely Not: A $64,000 Turntable "
Jan 3 2009 WTF Was That!?!: Deep-Sea Siphonophore
This is a video of a deep-sea (770-meters to be exact) siphonophore doing its thing. What the f*** is a siphonophore?
...an eerily fantastic creature that appears to be a single, large organism, but which is actually a colony of numerous individual jellyfish-like animals that behave and function together as a single entity. The individual units, called zooids, all share the same genetic material and each perform a specialized role within the colony. The best-known siphonophore is the poisonous Portuguese Man o' War.
Mmmm, I can almost taste the wasabi and soy sauce from here.
Siphonophore: Deep-sea superorganism [pinktentacle]
Thanks to Jack, a personal friend who knows I'm a sucker for new sushi.
Dec 23 2008 Do You Piss Liquid Gold?: A $400,000 Watch
The Cabestan Winch Tourbillion Vertical Watch is utterly ridiculous and has 1,352 parts (in comparison, my sundial has two). It's "driven by a 450 link chain and nickel silver drums" and looks like it'll break just putting it on. The base model will set you back $275,000, but if you want that shit to have platinum and diamonds and a set of grillz it'll be $400,000. I have no idea what makes the thing tell time, but if I had to guess, I'd say it's something to do with a winch. And speaking of which -- more beer you wretched beast!
Mad props in advance to everyone that's going to use their comment to tell me beer wench is spelled with an e.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the awesomely constructed movement.
Continue Reading " Do You Piss Liquid Gold?: A $400,000 Watch "
Dec 9 2008 Ooooh, Stoplight-y!: The Kisai Tenmetsu
The Kisai Tenmetsu is the latest in wrist bad-assery available from Tokyoflash. It's a definite departure from a lot of the other designs.
Three LEDs positioned beneath each lens allow a transition between LED colors creating a look never before seen. A continuous line running between the lenses and through the wrist band provides perfect balance and a sweeping animation effect adds character to the design.
The time is displayed in two stages: hours, then minutes. Red LEDs are 15 units of time, amber 5, and green 1. Add them together to find out the time. Adding is fun! The Tenmetsu is available now in both black and silver, and will set you back $257. And contrary to popular belief, no, Tokyoflash does not pay my bills. I blog for no one. Well, that's not entirely true, you see, I blog for Jesus, folks. And, okay, loose women. Isn't that right ladies? Oh, come on -- free chocolate!
One more shot after the jump.
Continue Reading " Ooooh, Stoplight-y!: The Kisai Tenmetsu "
Dec 8 2008 Build Your Own Paper Airplane Launcher
Want to launch paper airplanes but don't have any arms? Then good luck folding one in the first place. But for those of you that are lazy or just don't know when to let go comes the $18 Electric Paper Plane Launcher from Urban Outfitters.
Ready for take off. Take your paper airplane experience to electrifying new heights with The Electric Paper Plane Launcher! This fun kit was designed at Middlesex University, one of the leading design Universities in the UK. With simple assemble, you can discover how spinning motors and plastic discs can be used to launch a plane at over 30 mph!
Oh boy, I can't wait to discover how spinning motors and plastic disks can be used to launch a plane! You think it's anything like discovering how spinning motors and sharp metal disks can be used to cut your freaking fingers off?
Thanks to krabivana, who launches planes the old fashioned way, with explosives.
Nov 28 2008 Mysterious 'Elbowed' Squid Caught On Video
An underwater rover operated by Shell oil company caught some video of a rare Magnapinna (attractive metal penis) squid a mile and half down. And the squishy bastard has elbowed tentacles! WTF! And also, nigiri. Mmmm.
Two more pictures (one old) after the jump, horrible one second video here.
Continue Reading " Mysterious 'Elbowed' Squid Caught On Video "
Oct 23 2008 eBay: Back To The Future II Jacket Replica
eBay seller bendianamj is selling a jacket he/she made to look like the one in Back To The Future II.
You are bidding on a Back to the Future Marty McFly Jacket from the "Back to the Future Part II" in Men's Size Large but fits like a Medium. It is the same future year 2015 style jacket that Michael J. Fox wore it in his moive (Back to the Future Part II). It is a great costume made by our own registered brand. The jacket is brand new and the condition is great. It is a Every BTTF Fans must have item!!!
They'll make one in any size you want, which leads me to believe that you're not getting an actual auto-fit jacket like the one in the movie. Which you should for freaking $400. And also, free shipping. I don't care if it's coming from Hong Kong, I wouldn't pay $40 to ship myself to the moon.
UPDATE: Okay, I take back the moon thing. But for $40 I better get a whole shit-ton of packing peanuts -- I get hungry on long trips.
Hit the jump for several more pictures, including one from the movie, and a link to the auction.
Continue Reading " eBay: Back To The Future II Jacket Replica "
May 16 2008 I Know What I'm Getting!: This Wicked Tattoo
Let's face it folks, the Bowser riding a surfboard tattoo is pale in comparison to this wicked work of needle and ink. As you can see, it's a, uh, dolphin with its own tattoo smoking a bong and sitting on a tattered recliner. Oh, and it looks like he's staring at an owl and thinking "AKH" (which may or may not be some prison ink). Seriously, not even Spiderman guy can F with this. This thing is just pure ridiculous. Admittedly, I was high for the majority of my college career but never, ever, ever have I smoked with a dolphin before. Or a porpoise. Okay, that's not entirely true. I did smoke with a porpoise* -- to avoid going to class and to make Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 even funner.
*High-five for the pun!
"I'd like a tattoo of a dolphin with a tribal tattoo smoking a bong on a recliner, please." [albotas]
May 2 2008 Steampunky Watch Also Looks Coat Hangery
I don't have much information about this steampunky watch, so we'll just make it up as we go along. Let's see, it looks like the designer has a real penchant for coat hangers. Oh, and it looks uncomfortable to wear. That said, I'm sure it's a real attention getter. But mostly "oh my God, I think that poor guy broke his wrist and made his own brace out of coat hangers" attention. But hey, all attention is good attention in my book. And that's why I always scribble my number on the urinal dividers at truck stops.
One more picture of the timepiece after the jump.
Continue Reading " Steampunky Watch Also Looks Coat Hangery "
Apr 16 2008 Tetris Arm Wrestling Is Freaking Awesome
Tresling is a combination of Tetris and arm wrestling. You have a button to push with your free hand that rotates your tetrads, but you have to beat your opponent's arm against a sensor in order to move it in one direction (and against your own sensor to move it in the opposite). You each have your own game going, so a typical game consists of two people beating each other's arm around like maniacs. Which is awesome. Man if they sold these systems I'd buy one today. That's right, I like beating my wife at arm wrestling to make myself feel good. This game would be perfect because she's no good at Tetris either, so it'd be a double boost to the ol' ego.
Oh, and I hoping this guy has really weak arms, otherwise there's no reason to bother holding a Tresling World Championship.
MUST SEE VIDEO of the system in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " Tetris Arm Wrestling Is Freaking Awesome "
