Nov 20 2009 Wow, Video Game Religion -- Mass: We Pray
Mass We Pray is a video game to get that Holy Spirit all up in your system and have fun with the whole family at the same time. With fun interactive mini-games like 'Conduct the Choir' and 'Genuflecting', you're sure to make Jesus proud (who's ALWAYS watching, BTW). Looks fun, doesn't it? That said, this is viral advertising for Dante's Inferno dropping in February. But I want to see how many people didn't bother reading this far and think it's real and then make comments about it. Because you know there's gonna be some. Then they're gonna wish they could delete their comments but they won't be able to and we'll all laugh and call them names! Trust me, its WJWD.
Thanks to mensa, Nicole, MoD and daniel, who are praying all the theaters showing New Moon spontaneously combust.
Nov 19 2009 FroliCat BOLT: A Laser Lightshow For Cats
Yay, two laser posts in a row! The $17 FroliCat BOLT is an award winning laser lightshow for cats with owners who are too lazy to wave a laser pointer around or have lost the use of their limbs.
Simply turn it on and projects a red dot and moves it in random patterns for 15 minutes, or until your cat (or dog, or baby) realizes what's going on and attacks the gadget itself.
You know why cats love lasers so much? Because they're from the future. Plus it has something to do with their nightvision. No, really, I'm not just making this up. I took a correspondence college course in beertasting science. I wore a lab coat and everything.
Video of the POS in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " FroliCat BOLT: A Laser Lightshow For Cats "
Nov 12 2009 I Wasn't Looking For That: Mystery Google Gives You Previous Person's Search Query
Type a search query into Mystery Google and you get the results of the last person's search. For example, I searched for a serious medical condition I have, and got the results for "u'v got a face only ur momma could love". Neat? Yes. Helpful? Absolutely not. But don't let that stop you from blowing a few minutes screwing around with it. Remember: every minute wasted is a minute spent kicking the man in the junk. Go on -- kick him. Now do it again. HARDER! Okay now do me.
Thanks to Emortal, Blastphemer and Shadow Sushi, who don't search the interweb, the interweb searches them. So are we we talking like full body or what?
Nov 9 2009 Orgy: The Awesomest Game Ever Made?
I've never played Orgy (larger ad shot HERE) before but I would given the opportunity and the right group of guys.
Here's the exciting new indoor sport for people who love people. Orgy begins by choosing up sides (delightful custom) and centers around the "Porron" (translation: "to pour it on") filled with your favorite libation. Object of the game is to see which team achieves the longest trajectory for the longest time with the fewest spills. Rewards to winners are optional.
This game used to sell for $10 back in the 70's and was ordered by really skeezy people like your parents. You know they used to go to key parties!
WTF! Orgy : The 1970s Board Game [iambored]
Thanks to Jennifer, who only swings on swingsets and not married couples or so she says.
Nov 3 2009 Plane Passenger Accidentally Ejects Himself
I know what you're thinking, "big deal, I eject myself all the time", but you're thinking of something different. You see, this guy accidentally ejected himself from a plane mid-flight. WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
The South African air force has confirmed the incident that took place last Wednesday, when the passenger took off for a flight with an experienced pilot from South Africa's Silver Falcons air display team. Investigators are assuming that the passenger tried to steady himself while the pilot was putting the Pilatus PC-7 Mk II through its paces by grabbing the eject lever.
A retired SAAF instructor pilot said the passenger was extremely lucky to have survived the ejection with barely a scratch.He discounted the possibility that the seat fired of its own accord, as too many safety features were built into the system.
"All it takes is for the firing handle [the rubbery black- and yellow-striped loop] to be pulled up about 2,5cm and you're on your way out."
Haha, that's awesome. I wonder what was going through the poor bastard's head. I imagine something like, "HOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!". Also, I would have done the same thing. How many people can say they've ejected from a plane before? And, more importantly, does it warrant a free drink at the bar? It does? Sweeeeeet. Because then I pulled the lever and was all like PSSSSSHOOOOOOW!! Bourbon please.
Man accidentally ejects himself from plane [mail&guardian]
Thanks to Russell, who once ejected himself from a Big Wheels trying to jump a recycling bin. And to Equalizer, who once ejected himself from bed and ran like hell after sleeping with a Wookie.
Nov 1 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Driving Around In A Half-Car
Ever wanted to see some crazy Serbian driving around in car that's been cut in half? Then today's your lucky day! I kept waiting for him to flip the thing over on himself but the physics weren't there. And speaking of crazy Serbians: I used to know one. He drove a bright yellow VW GTI with a matching smiley face air freshener hanging from the rearview and an AK-47 in the trunk. I never rode with him.
Thanks to alex, who claims he could do the same thing with a 1/4 car.
Oct 15 2009 Abe, Nooo!: Gallery Of Geek-ily Defaced Bills
Because it's illegal and I don't do anything illegal, I've never defaced currency or put pennies on a train track. Nor have I looked at another man's junk while standing at a urinal. Or have I? I totally have -- I do it often!
Peekaboo.
Hit the jump for 15 more presidents dressed as different characters. There are laughs to be had!
Continue Reading " Abe, Nooo!: Gallery Of Geek-ily Defaced Bills "
Oct 14 2009 Build Your Own Roller Coaster Ride At Disney
No this isn't Roller Coaster Tycoon, this is real life! The "Sum of all Thrills" is a new ride at Disney's Epcot Center that allows children to design their own roller coasters and then ride them in a virtual reality environment with the aid of a giant robotic arm. I smell vomit! No, seriously -- I think a cat puked under the bed.
Epcot on Wednesday opened a new attraction called "Sum of All Thrills," which lets kids use computer tablets to design a virtual roller coaster, bobsled track or plane ride. After inputting their designs, kids climb into a robotic carriage that uses virtual-reality technology to help them experience the ride they've created.
"This is really the next generation -- where there's a lot more personalization involved" in the amusement-park experience, said Eric Goodman, Disney's lead project manager on the ride.
Cool. Of course, I question how much customization you'll actually get to do (I want 30 loopty-loops in a row!), or how much you should actually trust a child with anyway (100% of 0). Just saying, I have the feeling a lot of coasters are gonna end with a giant robotic arm slamming you into the ground repeatedly. YOU KIDS WILL NEVER BE IMAGINEERS!
Hit the jump for a better shot of the last thing you'll ever climb inside.
Continue Reading " Build Your Own Roller Coaster Ride At Disney "
Oct 9 2009 Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea
The $200,000 WaterCar is the lovechild of a Corvette that fell in love with a cigarette boat. But, like having sex with a mermaid, everyone will tell you it was just a manatee.
Get a Corvette engine, rig it up with a Dominator Jet drive, and then strap it into a floating car, and you get the WaterCar Python, the fastest and highest-performing amphibious vehicle in the world. If zipping over the water at a top speed of 60mph doesn't float your boat, it'll accelerate on land at a neck-snapping 0-to-60 speed of a mere 4.5 seconds.
Call me old fashioned, but I like all my vehicles single-purpose. If it drives on the road, I don't want it in the ocean or sky. I mean, that's just more stuff to go wrong. And wrong, my friends, is the opposite of right. And two Wrights made an airplane. ZING! Thanks for that one, dad.
Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the thing in action (worthwhile stuff starts at 0:50).
Continue Reading " Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea "
Oct 2 2009 Google Search AutoComplete To The Rescue
I do that shit all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.
Google (go type "I like" to see for yourself)
Thanks to b00m, who likes to tape a bedsheet to his arms and pretend he's a pterodactyl.
Oct 1 2009 Not Dangerous Enough: Jet Powered Carousel
Whenever I think "jet-powered" I think of rocketpacks and blasting off to the moon with a bubble helmet on and then playing hide-and-seek amongst the craters. Secondly, I think of danger and how much fun it is almost dying but then escaping death at the last second and flipping the grim reaper the bird right when he's reaching for you with his scythe. Yeah, I do that all the time. But one thing I don't do all the time (or ever for that matter) is ride a rocket-powered merry-go-round. It just looks too tame. Admittedly, the carousel's shoddy construction did look promising in the beginning, but in the end it's just two guys who might have well taped bottle rockets to their backs. I WANTED TO SEE ONE OF THOSE BITCHES LAUNCHED INTO ORBIT! Or at least a tree. Hurt video needs more hurt.
Skip to 1:30 for the action. And I did like the flames.
Madmen cling to jet-powered merry-go-round [theregister]
Thanks to srvr, who hates vowels.
Sep 23 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Neon Tetris On Skateboards
This is a video of 36 skateboarders playing a game of human Tetris on some hill in San Francisco while wearing giant neon shapes on their heads. Except it's not actually Tetris because not all of them are rocking tetrominoes. No, some of those mothers got damn pentominos on their heads. And I'm not talking the little red bits in olives! But, damnit, now I want olives. Shit, and some artichoke hearts. Fun fact: Jesus once turned an olive branch into a magic wand and banished hate from an evil sorcerer's heart. Then he did the water into wine thing and everybody had a good time. Plus, there was live music. You can't beat that.
Thanks to Duncan, who once tried playing Frogger on a skateboard and lost.
Sep 18 2009 Japanese 'Break The Table' Arcade Game
This is a video of a Japanese arcade game in which you try to disturb a dinner party by breaking the table. WTF, I know. That said, I woulda karate-chopped the grain outta that bitch. High score? Or score high? You have two boobs....you have four boobs.
Thanks to Shorty, who would have hid under the table and looked up your skirt.
Sep 18 2009 Fun For All Ages: Dino Dig Challenge, A Battleship Ripoff (But I'm Not Complaining)
Dino Dig Challenge plays like Battleship, but instead of a bunch of stupid boats, you're hunting for raptor bones. I LOOOVE RAPTOR BONES!
- 2 player competition to see who can excavate their opponent's dinosuar bones first.
- Includes 2 player dig base unit, 8 excavation site tiles, 10 different dinosaur bones and flag markers
- Be the first to complete a velociraptor skeleton and win!
OMG, YES! And the great thing about it is, this is a game that you can play alone if you want. Actually, that's the only way I play. Oh -- oh -- I JUST SUNK MY OWN DINOBONE!
Thanks to Dinosaur Josh, who loves dinosaurs as much as I do, but in a different way. You're missing out, Josh. Like they say, "once you go Jurassic, you never go back to men". Okay, that's not true. VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE.
Sep 17 2009 How To Light A Grill With Liquid Oxygen
First of all, I'm not convinced liquid oxygen is real because, if it is, why can't I breath underwater? I want a merman, damnit. But if it is real, this is a video of Theo Gray lighting a charcoal grill with the stuff. Apparently it's dangerous, but I find it hard to believe. I mean, it's just a liquid. Jesus, it's not like I just ate and wanna go swimming in the stuff.
Lighting a Grill with Liquid Oxygen Is the Opposite of Safe [gizmodo]
Thanks to Van, who may or may not house a real husky bastard down by the river.
Sep 15 2009 Die, Birds, Diiiiiiiie!: Contra Vs. Duck Hunt
This is a super short video of a Contra commando playing Duck Hunt. And in case you can't watch videos at work, I'll spoil it for you: the ducks lose. But if you want to watch the ducks win, you should watch that youth hockey themed movie starring Emilio Estevez. OMG HE WAS SOOOO HANDSOME!
Thanks to jim, who got the laser rifle and "accidentally" shot that annoying laughing dog.
Sep 9 2009 Ping Pong Fighter: Street Fighter, With Ping Pong (And Two Shirtless Guys, Yow Yow!)
This is short video of Ping Pong Fighter, which, in case you don't read titles, is like Street Fighter but with Ping Pong. Fun fact: Ping Pong is actually a trademarked name. Table tennis is the generic term for the sport. I AM SPITTIN' MAD KNOWLEDGE TODAY, SON! Anyway, I thought the video was pretty cute. And not just cause of the two hunky guys playing. Because they're not hunks. Those are what we familiar with the gay community call twinks. Me? I'm a bear like Zangief. RAWR!
Thanks to Tunio, who once went to Ping Pong ball show in Thailand and hasn't been able to pick up a paddle since.
Sep 8 2009 Chinese Farmer Builds Himself A Submarine
Further proof that Chinese farmers can build virtually any mode of transportation with common household ingredients, 34-year old Tao Xiangli went and built himself a fully functional sub. Man the torpedoes!
The Chinese man has built himself his very own sub all on his own, spending two years and 30,000 yuan ($4,385) on the project. It's driven by electric motors and propellers, and even has some extra fixings, including a periscope and a depth control tank.
Tao mainly cruises the beach taking underwater pictures of girls' bikini bottoms, but recently used the sub to attempt mating with a whale. IT TORE HIS ASS UP! I could have warned you Tao, animals that big don't always play nice. *ahem* I'M LOOKING AT YOU, NESSIE!
Hit the jump for a shot of Xao maneuvering his dinghy through a drainage ditch.
Continue Reading " Chinese Farmer Builds Himself A Submarine "
Sep 6 2009 No Work: Happy Labor Dabor Day Everyone!
Hey folks, sorry I had to leave so abruptly on Friday, I was traveling and got into a fistfight at the airport with a man with a large suitcase AND HAD TO WHIP HIS ASS FROM TERMINAL A TO TERMINAL D. Not really, but I was traveling. Anyway, I know I promised I'd have your haiku graded and returned today (some with smiley stickers, others with lots of red), but I forgot it was Labor Day weekend. You see, sometimes even your Geekologie Writer can be an idiot moron. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I jest, but it is a holiday weekend so I figured I'd wait till Tuesday to reveal the winners and show you the balls. So everybody have a great time tomorrow and remember: don't go to work. Unless you have to, in which case quit.
HAPPY LABOR DABOR DAY EVERYBODY!
Aug 31 2009 Cheap!: Guy Selling Jetpack Thingy For $500
Some guy is Canada is selling a homemade jetpack via online classified ad for the low, low price of $500. Sure it'll kill you, but it's only $500!
Jet Pack -- Jumps You 10' in the Air
Handcrafted by myself Using Car and Airplane parts. I spent 15 years as a mechanic. Can Use for 2 High Jumps 10 feet in the air with a safe landing before overheating, takes about an hour to cool down after that.weighs 53lbs, approx Camping backback in size , dull grey in color.
serious buyers only can test out on my property and of course watch me first for safety reasons and training.
Two ten-foot jumps and then you have to let the thing sit for an hour? No offense, but that sounds like some incredibly weak shit. Just sayin', you know what else costs $500, will jump you 10-feet in the air, and NOT require an hour between uses? Twelve pogo sticks.
Thanks to Pepe La PEWPEW, who is in love with a LED flashlight. Hate to break it to you Pepe, but she ain't a laser.
