Apr 16 2009 Viral Samsung Ads: Now With Trickery
This is a viral ad for Samsung's new I8910 camera phone. I found the guy in the video annoying but I would do his girlfriend. Twice. Once with the lights on.
OUR CHALLENGE: GUESS HOW WE DID THIS. This clip was shot on an I8910 HD phone, a new camera phone just released by Samsung with an 8 megapixel camera that can actually record and output video in HD format. It was shot in one take, with no post production or special effects of any kind. Everything you see here was done "in-camera". Our challenge to you is to figure out how we did it. Hint: it's worth watching in HD...
I went ahead and took the time to embed the video in high definition for you. You know, since I'm your little bitch. And now I'll go ahead and ruin it for you. SPOILER ALERT: Not a mirror. Just a hole. A big, gaping hole. Which, SPOILER ALERT: my ex-wife.
Mar 26 2009 No Joke: Conficker C Virus Coming April 1st
That's right folks, a beefed up version of the Conficker virus, Conficker C is scheduled to wreak havoc on April 1st. Your grandparents may think it's just a joke, but it's no joke -- this is real life, son!
What's known so far is that on April 1, all infected computers will come under the control of a master machine located somewhere across the web, at which point anything's possible. Will the zombie machines become denial of service attack pawns, steal personal information, wipe hard drives, or simply manifest more traditional malware pop-ups and extortion-like come-ons designed to sell you phony security software? No one knows.
Conficker is clever in the way it hides its tracks because it uses an enormous number of URLs to communicate with HQ. The first version of Conficker used just 250 addresses each day -- which security researchers and ICANN simply bought and/or disabled -- but Conficker C will up the ante to 50,000 addresses a day when it goes active, a number which simply can't be tracked and disabled by hand.
Well, just like I did in preparation for the Y2K bug, I'm building a rocketship and blasting off into outerspace before the damage is done. Now you may be asking yourself, "self, what the hell is he still doing here if he really blasted off into outerspace?" And the answer, my friends, is none of your business (read: I'm collecting earth women for the trip). Ladies? Freeze-dried ice cream!
Beware Conficker worm come April 1 [yahoonews]
Thanks to Ashely and Xeta, who aren't worried about the virus because they don't use computers. It's true, they sent their tips snail mail and only read Geekologie telepathically.
Mar 2 2009 Paypal Makes Mistake, Accuses Man Of Pumping $81,400,836,908 Worth Of Gas
Juan Zamora is a man. A man with a '94 Camaro which undoubtedly has some Rad to the power of Sick flames painted on the sides. Anyway, he bought $26 worth of petrol at the station and paid with his Paypal debit card. Only problem was, Paypal reported he pumped $81,400,836,908 worth of petrol! Now that's a lot of hot air gas!
He only learned of the astounding figure when he received an email later that afternoon informing him that his debit card, which started out with $90 on it, was maxed out.
"Somebody from a foreign country who spoke in broken English argued with me for 10 to 15 minutes," Zamora said. " 'Did you get the gas?' he asked. Like I had to prove that I didn't pump $81,400,836,908 in gas!"He would have needed more than 3 billion fill-ups of the amount he actually pumped into his tank in order to reach that outrageous sum. When Zamora returned to the Conoco gas station, he said, the attendant would not believe him until he showed her the printout of the PayPal receipt.
Finally Juan was able to set the record straight. And if you even think about trying to pull any of that nonsense on me, Paypal, and you are going to get it. And by 'it' I mean some provocative photos of yours truly and a firebomb. ZOMG, look at the hair on -- *HORF* uh-oh.... *WHOOOSH!* Justice: a dish best served flaming.
PayPal Charges $81,400,836,908 For $26 Tank Of Gas [consumerist]
Thanks to twellve, who once saw a guy drive off with the gas pump still in his car's filler hole. She tried notifying him while he was leaving, but he just thought she was waving at him. His car exploded moments later.
Feb 27 2009 XBox Live's Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy
XBox Live doesn't want you letting anybody know you're gay. Because that's offensive. Recently, a woman was banned from online gaming for identifying herself as a lesbian in her profile.
My account was suspended because I had said in my profile that I was a lesbian. I was harassed by several players, 'chased' to different maps/games to get away from their harassment. They followed me into the games and told all the other players to turn me in because they didn't want to see that crap or their kids to see that crap.
As if xbox live is really appropriate for kids anyways! My account was suspended and xbox live did nothing to solve this, but instead said others found it offensive.
Hey, that reminds me, people suck. Per XBox Live's don't tell policy:
In regards to sexual orientation, for gamertags or profiles we do not allow expression of any type of orientation, be that hetero or other. Players can, however, self identify in voice communication where context is more easily explained to all players involved.
Weak. I say XBox embrace the gay community and ban all the harassers. I'm tired of gaming with a bunch of pre-pubescent boys anyways. Their voices alone make me want to throw the system out the window. Tolerance, XBox, tolerance. And for those of you that feel stifled by the inability to post your sexual preference on XBox Live, feel free to do so here. I'll even get us started with the first comment.
Identifying Yourself As A Lesbian Gets You Banned On XBOX Live [consumerist]
and
Microsoft's Policy Regarding Identifying Sexual Orientation On XBOX Live [consumerist]
Thanks to Marc, who was tolerant even after I puked in his car.
Jan 9 2009 TURN YOUR SPEAKERS DOWN: Stupid Kid Gets Wii For Christmas, Doesn't Deserve It
TURN YOUR SPEAKERS DOWN, SERIOUSLY. This is a video of some kid getting wiidiculous after he opens a Wii on Christmas. And let me tell you: based on his behavior, I would have taken that shit right back to the store. But in all seriousness kid, your parents don't love you. Don't believe me? Where was your Wii on Christmas 2006? 2007? Exactly.
NOTE: To everyone else that didn't get a Wii until this Christmas, I'm sure it was just a supply shortage issue.
Thanks to Edgar (aka the-iguana) and Sarah, who hope the box was filled with coal almost as much as I do.
Dec 24 2008 Blast Out Of Bed With The Rocket Alarm!
The $25 Rocket Launcher Alarm Clock is phallic as hell and I want one really badly. When it's time to wake up the rocket ship blasts off -- and you have to retrieve said rocket and replace it on the base for the beeping to stop. Alternatively, you can break the base. And while this certainly isn't the worst way to wake up, it is a close second behind the SWAT team busting into your bedroom. Those guys act like they've never seen a little morning wood before. Somebody fetch the proverbial buck saw -- this timber looks like a two-man job.
rocket launcher alarm clock blasts into orbit to wake you up [technabob]
Thanks to Julian, who requires like 16 diamond-toothed chainsaws to dispatch his morning lumber.
Dec 15 2008 Are You Even Surprised?: iPhone Gloves
The $23 Etre Touchy gloves are handwear designed for using your iPhone or other touchscreen device in the harsh months of winter. They're just gloves with the index fingers and thumbs cut off. Which *SPOILER ALERT* you can do yourself to any pair of gloves, even $5 ones. Ha, but not while you're wearing them you stupid idiot!
Etre Touchy gloves won't let winter spoil your texting fun [dvice]
Dec 4 2008 Annoy Coworkers With The Annoyatron 2.0
The Annoyatron 2.0 is a little gadget that makes annoying noises at random so you can drive a very special coworker to the point of stabbing you and/or stealing your lunch from the communal fridge. The sounds are as follows:
-15kHz (Mosquito tone) (full volume)
-Cricket chirping (medium/low volume)
-IM Doorbell (low volume)
-Grating Electronic noise (full volume)
-Typical Electronic Beep (medium volume)
Just hide the little board in somebody's office, don your stab-proof jacket, and wait for the insanity to set in! Don't have a stab-proof jacket? Well you're in luck -- I happen to be selling them! They may just look like garbage bags, but you have The Geekologie Writer's personal guarantee they are real garbage bags.
Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun [gizmodo]
Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who doesn't need an Annoyatron, because he's got warlock powers and shit.
Oct 10 2008 Revenge CD Annoys Neighbors, Yourself
The Revenge CD from Fred is a CD packed with 20 of the most annoying sounds ever, from unhappy dog, to violin practice, to house party. The $7 CD even comes with a pair of earplugs, so you don't have to listen to the racket. Clever, but I can't help but think there are better ways of seeking revenge on neighbors. Including, but not limited to: breaking a basement window and leaving a hose running into it while they're on vacation, vandalism, and my personal favorites: kidnapping and arson. But seriously, rake up your leaves already, you're making our block look like shit.
Thanks to Silver Sided, who believes living well is the best revenge, which is total bullshit. Burning a house down, that's where it's at.
Sep 25 2008 Play The Drums -- On Your Shirt!
That's right folks, ThinkGeek is selling this $30 Drumkit T-shirt so you can rock out with your high-hat out anywhere you go.
Hit the drums on this shirt with your finger and they play through the built in speaker... simple but amazing. With 7 different drum sounds you're ready for a personal drum solo on your chest.
Hell yes, personal drum solo on my chest! Any of you lovely ladies interested in a duet?
Thanks to Brad and Sarah, who don't need drums to know how to rock.
Sep 10 2008 Bronze Vader Statues (Are A Waste Of $)
First the Leia sex statue, then R2 and C-3PO replicas, and now, Vader. The 4-foot, 150lb bronzed bastard was cast by Lawrence Noble and is pat of a limited edition of 30 pieces. Each costs $18,000, which I wouldn't even pay for a peanut butter sculpture of Chewbacca bending Jar Jar over a landspeeder. I mean, it could at least be life-size. And chocolate. Oh shit, and he should have a really pimp belt buckle. Something like "Vader tip goes PEW PEW!"
NOTE: That was a whistle tip reference. If you haven't seen the video, you haven't been living the past two years, so I posted it after the break. Watch the whole thing.
Continue Reading " Bronze Vader Statues (Are A Waste Of $) "
Sep 4 2008 Check Live Traffic Cams With iPhone App
Hate driving in traffic? Get a job where you don't have to commute. But for the rest of us, the ones that live 8 miles from work and spend 50 minutes getting there, there's the, uh, Metro. No wait, there's an iPhone application. Yeah, it's called Mobileyes and it can access live traffic feeds so you can see a bunch of cars sitting bumped to bumper. Now That's What I Call Hits Volume 14!
Current cities where this is available are: Detroit, Hartford, Houston, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Knoxville, Los Angeles, New York, and Washington, D.C. while other cities will eventually be added. Depending on the speed of your connection the app can show low, medium or high resolution images.
Let me tell you, there's nothing safer than browsing pictures of traffic while you're driving, it just makes good sense. And you know what else does? Flying to work instead of driving. Seriously cheapass, just buy a freaking cape already.
Mobileyes iPhone App Can (Potentially) Help You Avoid Traffic [ohgizmo]
Sep 2 2008 Highly Questionable: The DJ Mobile
The DJ Mobile was built by Dutch artist Olaf Mooij and looks like the lovechild of a subcompact that f***ed a rocketship. The deafening piece was inspired by a song called "God is a DJ" and the Pope-mobile. I'd prefer the bulletproof bubble myself, but I have a lot of enemies. Unfortunately, the DJ mobile isn't meant to be used while driving, making it infinitely less cool than I originally imagined. Which, if you want to get all scientifical, wasn't even cool. Still, I would pour sugar in the gas tank.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the eardrum popper.
Jul 23 2008 'Spam King' Sentenced To Four Years In Prison, Hopefully A Really Rough One
'Spam King' Robert Soloway is headed to a federal pound you in the ass (I hope) prison for 47 months. He recently pleaded guilty to fraud, spamming, tax evasion, general douchery, asshatness, and sucking at life. We should probably just give him the chair. I really hope a fellow inmate down a handful of those penis pills he was always emailing me about and spams his ass.
Hit the link for the full story.
Top Spammer Sentenced To Nearly Four Years [yahoonews]
Thanks Julian, now let's stone him.
Jun 4 2008 Wake Up Equipment: DANGERBOMB CLOCK Goes Boom -- Boom, All Up In Your Room!
The $22 DANGERBOMB CLOCK looks like a bomb and shouldn't be taken on flights. It's the next generation in wake up equipment that requires you to do something besides slap a button to actually turn the damn thing off. How does it work? Per the translated Amazon Japan page:
Product specifications:Do not happen in the explosion and quickly ugh? KACHI KACHI KACHI... wake-up time bomb-type device! Danger Bomb Clock!! Danger Bomb Clock!!
DOKI DOKI DOKI... "What a piece of wire to stop the explosion I can...?!" In film and television, to stop the time bomb which one should staple a line scene. Such a scene reminiscent of a time bomb alarm clock, and a parody of fun.
Set in a predetermined number of hours to the sound of heavy explosions. In other words, turn off the alarm switch in the explosion, three of the wiring was imitated one of a number. Three, how to stop it is through daily random set. This will also no longer be late? Daily life for the thrill and excitement...!
Basically the alarm goes off and one of the colored lights blinks indicating which wire you have to separate to turn it off. If you choose the wrong one it makes loud explosion noises and scares the shit out of your cats. Simple as that. Now I'm not totally sure what happens if you just disconnect all the wires the night before, but if I had to guess I'd say I'm f***in' MacGyver!
And he's the bottom.
Translated Amazon Product Page
Thanks to Redd, who actually taught MacGyver everything he knows.
May 14 2008 Another Annoying Alarm Clock To Break
Here at Geekologie we've had no shortage whatsoever of ridiculous alarm clocks that use various annoying methods to get you out of bed and ready for another horrible day of life. But here comes another anyways. When the $40 Puzzle Alarm Clock goes off it launches three puzzle pieces out of the base. You then have to find said pieces and return them to their respective resting places. It sounds like a freaking disaster waiting to happen. I would have that thing smashed to bits before you could say "where's the star piece?" Mostly because I never learned my shapes. That's right -- I was the kid in kindergarten that tried to wedge the square peg into the round hole and glued his head to his cot during naptime. But look at me now -- on top of the freaking world. Okay, maybe just on top of house. I'm gonna jump!
Puzzle Alarm Clock Looks Seriously Infuriating [uberreview]
Apr 28 2008 Word Clock: But I Never Learned To Read!
If you've been keeping up with Geekologie for a while then you know we've seen a number of different clocks that tell time with words instead of digits. Well designer Hans Tan felt none of those were verbose enough, and thus created the Idea of a Clock II (I've got the feeling someone punched the shit out of Idea of a Clock I and broke it). As you can see it has a whole bunch of words on it, less than half of which have anything to do with the actual time. So you just have to jump to the end to get your fix. Like you people that skip to the end of posts to read the joke and not all this awesome fluff. The clocks are limited edition and you have to contact Hans to get a price quote. Which is code for way too freaking expensive for an LED bulletin board. That said, I'm stealing this idea and making my own damn clock. It's gonna be called Idea of a Laser Clock and it'll basically be a piece of plywood with a laser attached and the following words painted on in bright red:
This is the idea
of a laser clock
that tells you
the time with lasers
at exactly
now a powerful burning laser
is zapping you in the nads.
Makes a great alarm too.
world clock is a little too verbose for me [technabob]
Mar 13 2008 Backpack Has Speakers, Stormtrooper Styling
The Reppo II Backpack is a product design by Joonas Saaranen. As you may be able to tell being the astute observer that I know you are, it's a hardshell backpack with speakers. It was designed with those people in mind that want to subject you to their music no matter how much it sucks. Like Captain Deaf of the USS Busted Eardrums I had to sit next to on the bus yesterday. He was wearing headphones, but he had the volume up so loud the whole bus could probably hear. I mean WTF? I was going to grab his iPod and smash it, but I knew that things would work themselves out. And you know what? I was right. He got mugged after getting off at his stop. Poor bastard, no more music for him. Say, speaking of music -- I've got a nice iPod for sale. Great condition, comes with a pair of really loud headphones.
Reppo II Boombox Backpack Could Have Some Niche Appeal [uberreview]
Feb 29 2008 Joke Sound Boxes Are Highly Questionable
Remember when the electronic whoopee cushion came out? How hilarious was that? It wasn't was it? No, it sure wasn't. Well following in the footsteps come these Prankster Sound Boxes. They're $10 light sensitive boxes that begin making their annoying sound when it's dark. You can choose from dripping water or barking dog. You know, this reminds me of the office prank I pulled a few weeks ago. What I did was fill the metal tube on my coworker's desk chair with raw shrimp. Slowly they started rotting and he couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from! It was hilarious until he figured it out. I wish you could have seen the look on his face when he finally finished beating the shit out of me. Priceless.
Annoying Light Sensitive Sound Box [7gadgets]
Feb 22 2008 Sweet Cannon Will Look Great On My Desk
If there are two things I wish I could do at work they would definitely be 1. drink (well, openly), and 2. fire a cannon. And now thanks to the 25-Inch Field Cannon one of my wishes can become reality.
This cannon features an automatic charger mechanism for rapid, multiple firing plus an automatic flint igniter. Weighing 7 lbs, it operates on the same principle as a gas engine in an automobile--using gas, fresh air, and a spark. Powdered calcium carbide "ammo" is added to the water in the chamber of the cannon. The auto flint firing mechanism creates the spark to give perfect combustion.
It costs $150 and I just ordered one. I can hardly wait. I'm going to fire it off in celebration any time I complete a job well done. Like successfully logging onto the computer, making a phone call, finishing lunch, sending an email, etc. The other cubies will probably hate me but they're a bunch of dumb a-holes anyway. Say, that reminds me of a funny joke. I just flew back from a business meeting in Detroit and boy are my arms tired because I had to punch the shit out out of a coworker for taking the window seat.
25-Inch Cannon Goes Boom [ohgizmo]
