May 20 2009 Analog Digital Clock Looks Like Digital Clock, Is Made Of Analog Clocks, I'm All Man
Hell yeah I am too. The Clock Clock tells time using a digital-looking display made up of 24 smaller, analog clocks. It is a pretty neat idea and is best viewed from far away otherwise you might burn your retinas out or go crazy like that guy in that movie that was all like AAAAAAAHH!
Created by Swedish designers Humans Since 1982, the Clock Clock installation features 48 electronically-controlled analog clock hands which automatically rotate into the proper positions to form a giant digital display.
I kind of want it. It reminds me a lot of this clock, which is major badassery. Or Colonel Kickass if you're really digging it.
Hit the jump for a bunch more shots and a video of the clock in action.
Jan 9 2009 Obama Requests Extension For Analog TV Shutdown. Confused Grandparents Rejoice, But Don't Really Know What's Happening.
President-elect Barack Obama requested Congress extend the analog television cut-off date because inadequate funding and flaws in the converter box program. You know, because a bunch of people are stupid. And dumb. Mad dumb.
John Podesta, co-chair of the Obama-Biden transition team, requested that "the cut-off date (February 17th) for analog signals should be reconsidered and extended". The letter was sent this Thursday to the chairs and ranking Republicans on the House Energy & Commerce Committee and Senate Commerce Committee.
Apparently there is some concern that the inbreds will freak out and blame the new president when their picture-boxes stop working shortly after his inauguration. So better to postpone the shutdown and educate the yokels before things get out of hand. Uh-oh, and speaking of getting out of hand -- where'd my penis go?
Jul 17 2008 New Analog Watch Models From Tokyoflash
In a departure from their typically cryptic watches, Tokyoflash has just dropped a line of easier to read analog models from Nekura. That's three of the them there, but there are five in total, so hit the jump for high-res pictures of all of them. Each sells for $85, has an engraved strap which is available with a black or clear outer, and is sure to get you laid. Trust me, I have the Twilight (the middle one) and that thing attracts the ladies like a rare earth magnet attracts a female rare earth magnet. I just strapped that baby on and BA-BOOM, mad chicks were hanging all up on me and fondling my watch. It was sensual. I mean these chicks were so close their chestfruits were like a foot and half away from my mouth (a first!). Mmmm, I could smell the intoxicating scent of their shampoos and I just wanted to eat them up like a zombie chomping on a brain. You feeling me? Because I'm feeling you. Literally. And no, this doesn't count as sexual harassment. This is totally legit.
Hit the jump for a big picture of each one.
Continue Reading " New Analog Watch Models From Tokyoflash "
Jun 17 2008 Gag Pens Help Prevent Unwanted Theft
Tired of co-workers *ahem, Superficial Writer, Iwatchstuff Writer* borrowing your analog writing instruments, only to never see them again? Well the Borrow My Pen? set ($7) aims to alleviate the problem of pen theft. Each features a fictional place of business along with a catchy phrase designed to prevent people from wanting to keep them. Stuff like Van Nuys Center For Cosmetic Surgery, "Specializing in Difficult Gender Reassignments". Clever, but not clever enough. I've got the feeling I'd still get pens stolen with these. That's why I had Sharpie make a set with my own clever phrases. Stuff like: The Geekologie Writer, "If You Can Read This You've Stolen My Pen And I'm About To F***ing Stab You With It" and Center For Infectious Disease, "Free Pen For New STD's".
A Pen That Will Always Be Returned [ohgizmo]
May 2 2008 Analog GPS Unit Is Just A Piece Of Paper
In this day of Garmin, TomTom, and Magellan GPS navigation systems, it's good to see an analog alternative to the digital market. And here it is, the Paper GPS system. As you can see it's a pad of paper that has little arrows to circle and boxes to write directions and mileage between turns. Each pad costs $6.50 and makes a great gift. You should have seen the look on my girlfriend's face when I told her I got her a GPS navigation system for her birthday! She was so freaking excited (she gets lost easily). Then she opens the box and it's a pad of this paper. Oh man, I laughed my ass off. Unfortunately she didn't have too much trouble finding her way to the door, and, that night, some other dude's bed.
paper gps won't get you lost (if you write good directions) [technabob]
Apr 28 2008 Acoustic Drum Machine Is A-Okay In My Book
Sure I could make beats with a drum synthesizer on the computer, but honestly, that's a little too digital for my tastes. Now I know what you're thinking: short of actually playing the drums, how can I get around this obstacle? Simple -- you make little robotic drums out of coffee cans, toss those mothers in a bomb-looking briefcase, make sure there's lots of sketchy wires hanging out, and then have them controlled by MIDI from a sequencer. And as easy as that you have your own acoustic drum machine. Pretty awesome, huh? I thought so. But I actually posted this though because I'm acting as matchmaker for Little Yellow Drum Machine, and I think this briefcase is right up his alley. What do you think my little robotic friend? *tink tink ta tink TINK* Ha, he said he'd attack that ass like a gong. Do I know him or what?
Thanks to the self proclaimed King of the Computer Geeks, for the tip
Apr 11 2008 Digital Looking Watch Is All Analog, Awesome
The Di Grisogono Meccanica DG watch looks digital, but is purely analog. Only 177 are being made, and each contains over 651 parts.
The mechanically operated digital display of the second timezone shows tens of hours, single hours, tens of minutes and single minutes, all displayed by mobile microsegments driven by an assemblage of 23 cams connected to a set of gears and a triggering and synchronization system. The time information is displayed by an array of 23 horizontally and vertically positioned microsegments. Vertical segments are 9 mm high and weigh at most 25 milligrams while the horizontal segments measure 2.90 mm in length and weigh only 10 milligrams. The segments have four faces: two opposing visible faces fitted with colored strips and two opposing unmarked faces. Time changes are effected by 90° rotations of the required segment or segments. Involving one to twelve segments, time changes are lightning fast.
Freaking awesome! Man, I want a digital looking analog watch. Especially one that's more expensive than a house. I swear, I'd just stare at it changing time all day long. Plus it'd probably cover the cancerous looking mole that I'm too afraid to go get checked out. If it has hair growing out of it does that mean it's safe?
A couple more pictures after the jump.
Continue Reading " Digital Looking Watch Is All Analog, Awesome "
Jan 22 2008 Message Tape: Analog Packing Tape Is Lame
I touched on this packing tape back in October, but now SUCK UK is selling the stuff, in both traditional LCD and Pixel varieties. A mini roll will set you back £5 (~$9.80) and the big ones go for £7.50 (~$14.70), which is pretty freaking expensive for some damn tape. Still, if you can't stand the look of plain analog packing tape, maybe this is for you. You know, the pixel tape kind of reminds me of the opscan forms you had to fill out for multiple choice tests in college. I would always get two and after I was done taking the test I'd put a fake name on the other and fill in the bubbles to look like a monster penis. Ah, college.
A NSFW example of an old test of mine if you don't know what I'm talking about, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Message Tape: Analog Packing Tape Is Lame "
Dec 13 2007 Mobile Notetaker Digitizes Your Analog Notes
The Mobile Notetaker attaches to the top of any pad of paper and digitizes your notes for download to a computer later (and translated to editable text). It can store up to 50 standard pages of notes or doodles, and costs $170. It's aimed at solving the same problem of analog vs. digital notes that the FLY Fusion Pentop Computer is attempting. I need one, because I take really good notes at meetings with my boss. Okay, they're more like drawings. My latest is called "Mr. Abelman gets an arrow in his head and squirts blood everywhere". It's a picture of my boss, Mr. Abelman, with an arrow in his head and blood going everywhere. It really got me into creating art around the office to brighten the place up. Unfortunately I got fired when I was caught working on another art project of mine. It was a rather brilliant performance piece I came up with entitled "Me boning the secretary on the boss's desk during his lunch break". Turns out he hadn't gone to lunch yet, just the bathroom.
Dec 5 2007 Emoticon Stamp For Analog Correspondence
I rarely send analog letters anymore because it's too damn time consuming and my handwriting looks the same as it did when I was three. :-( Which isn't legible at all. :-D But if I did need to send something handwritten, maybe like a "Dear Jane" letter :'-( I'd certainly need this Transforming Emoticon Stamp from ThinkGeek ($6). :-P You just squeeze the handsome little devil to make a number of different emotions. X-) Because let's face it, the written word doesn't mean shit anymore without a liberal application of emoticons. Just sayin', I <3 ( . Y . )
Emoticon Transforming Stamp [ohgizmo]
Nov 19 2007 Amazon Releases Kindle, Oh Happy Day!
Kindle, Amazon's ebook reader dropped today for $400. Over 90,000 titles are already available for the device, and each is less than $10. You can also get subscriptions to major newspapers, magazines, etc. for a monthly fee. "The unit is not Wi-Fi compatible. Instead, it's on its own EV-DO network, called Whispernet, which is affiliated with Sprint." You can't actually use it as a web browser though, except for free access to Wikipedia. So, yeah. Someone get one and tell me how it is. I like the newspaper subscription idea, but I prefer my books analog. There's just nothing more relaxing than sitting on the john with a hardback stretched across your naked thighs. Well, until your legs fall asleep and you collapse trying to stand up. Then you're lying on the cold tile floor with your pants around your ankles and a cat licking your face.
Amazon's Kindle unveiled: an ebook reader with free Internet access [sci-fi]
Oct 16 2007 New Rubik's Cube Is Digital, I Miss Analog
Well apparently the analog version of the Rubik's cube just wasn't enough for the greedy company (it only sold a paltry 300 million units), so here comes the Rubik's Revolution! No really, that's what it's called. The segments don't move at all anymore, instead you can play 6 different games with awesome titles like Cube Catcher and Pattern Panic. They all revolve around pushing the glowing button in the middle of each side. The unit costs $20. I think I'll stick to the original analog version. You know, I once solved it in under a minute. Using my penis.
Rubik's Revolution [ohgizmo]
Sep 20 2007 Free Ride Pen Gives No Complimentary Rides
Designer Jean Pierre Lepine (like pen!) has developed the Free Ride Pen. It is an expensive ass writing instrument that reminds me of the thing aliens ram in my exit hole whenever they pick me up for studies. It costs $175.
The Free Ride is designed to be different, ergonomic, and fun. This push top ballpoint features a soft rubber like material in the vital sections where finger meets pen. The arched hull is held in place by hand drilled screws. As Lepine puts it, “I create tomorrow’s writing instruments for today’s men and women”.
If this is tomorrow's writing instrument, I don't know how I feel about the future anymore. I thought it was supposed to be flying cars and robots, not $175 ass probes that double as pens. I don't remember seeing this thing in Back to the Future II. Screw it, I'm getting drunk and passing out somewhere.
UPDATE: One more picture after the click.
Continue Reading " Free Ride Pen Gives No Complimentary Rides "
Sep 18 2007 Talking Photo Album Steals Your Voice
This talking photo album, from Vat19, uh, talks. You can record a 10 second statement for each of the 24 photos in the album and then listen to them while you're reliving the memories. It costs $20, and isn't that bad of an idea if you plan on dying. I'm getting one to set on the coffee table for visitors. "On the next page is a picture of my testicles, don't look if you don't believe me. HAHA! You turned. You are so gay, those are my balls! Those are them! They're attached to me. Sucker! Now put down the album because the next page has private pictures of my girlfriend. Seriously, stop. HAHA! Gotcha -- you turned again! More balls! Whee!"
Aug 31 2007 Magical Pen Turns Analog to Digital
The Fly Fusion pen ($80) may look like just another vibrator, but this one is special. When used in conjunction with the $8 Fly Fusion Notebooks, it can magically convert your analog notes and doodles to digital format! The technology behind this breakthrough is called very tiny dots. These dots, almost imperceptible to the human eye, are all too clear to the pen, which uses them to figure out what the hell your chicken scratch is. The pen can also play MP3's and games and there is a slew of software available to teach you different subjects like algebra and French. While this product comes highly recommended, who the hell takes notes anymore? I never took notes in college, I just took digital pictures of the chalkboard whenever the teacher wrote something. And a bunch of the big breasted co-ed next to me, because, well, I'm a booby fan.
Product Site [thanks to Cygnus the Magnificent for the tip]
Aug 29 2007 Game Offers Chance at First Kiss
For those of you out there that have yet to make it to first base, it might not be too late. Toys4Me is releasing Electronic Spin the Bottle, because, uh, analog bottles are stupid and will not get you laid. The damn thing costs $34, which is ridiculous to pay for something I have a ton of in the recycling bin. It does take me back though. Sitting in a circle, watching the bottle slow down, praying it lands on Suzy, the 4th grader of my dreams. Then having it go too far and making out with my sister for a half hour. God, I think I just puked in my mouth a little.
Game Offers Chance at First Kiss [ubergizmo]
